24 comments

Fiction Sad Suspense

Author’s Note: I got inspired to write this story by a dance, I’ll post a link to the dance at the end of the video. This does not have anything to do with the prompt.


It feels like I’m drowning, but I have no idea where the air is, or which way to go. I just want to go to sleep but there’s this pounding pain in my chest and it’s keeping me awake. Please get me out of here, so I can just disappear. I don’t have a family or a house. I get bullied by the rich kids that come down the alley I live in just to taunt me. I wish I could just disappear from my life, from this world. I don’t think anyone will notice I’m gone. I already am gone. I look up at the sky, from where I am, it looks polluted and you can’t see many stars. I close my eyes and try to get some rest, but I just hear the pain pounding in my chest. Please get me out of here, so I can just disappear from my life, a voice inside me screams. 

After a restless night, I decide to go for a walk back to where I used to live. As I walk down the street of my old house, I wonder if my parents will let me back in. They kicked me out years ago because I wasn’t perfect. They believe everything and everyone has to be perfect. I absolutely hated it, but I’d give anything just to feel like I’m actually living again. I hope if they do let me in, that they won’t throw me out no matter what they know. I arrive at my old house, it’s big and white. I look inside the big window that looks into the dining room, and I see a table with my mom, my dad, and a girl. I don’t recognize the girl. She can’t be my sister; I never had a sister. 

I walk over to the door and knock. I see my mom get up and walk to the door. She opens it. I feel hope for once in my life. She looks at me confused with a tense look, once she realizes who I am her expression softens up a bit. I give an innocent smile, and she touches my bruised face. I flinch as she does so. 

“Who's at the door?” My dad asks. “What’s wrong?” I wonder if they’ll let me back in. 

“It’s no one,” my mom replies back and slams the door in my face. Of course, I’m upset, I feel betrayed but what could’ve I expected? They threw me out, why would they let me back in? I walk back over to the window and watch my family or what used to be my family finish up their breakfast. My mom kisses the girl on the head, before sitting down again. I realize that the girl is wearing the same outfit as me, just mine is dirtier and has blood, dirt, and grass stains all over it. She even has the same bow in her hair except hers isn’t torn. She looks like she could be my twin. We have the same eyes and hair. Is she supposed to be me? Did I wander into a different world where things are different? Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m gone. I just need to disappear. 

I quickly remember that there’s a river nearby. That river is famous for people drowning in. Nobody’s ever survived falling in. I run all the way to the very rocky and deep river. I don’t and won’t care if they're waiting. I’m just fine drifting away. Don’t care if they're crying.

I jump in. I don’t scream, I just hold my breath. I’m freezing but stay under. This water’s just like air. I close my eyes and disappear… 


This story was very short and sad. I hope you liked it! Please comment on how I can improve my writing and what you like and dislike about this story! 


https://youtu.be/SnFbnfHE8q8



April 09, 2021 01:48

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24 comments

A Limelight? (Why Don't We) Go to my followers list and talk to my friend Anjali-my irl friend. She is OBSESSED with Why Don't We so much it's weird :)

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
21:07 Sep 14, 2021

Ok!!!! I'm also obsessed with Why Don't We too!!

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Mazie Gray
15:28 Apr 23, 2021

A special talent I have (it's not hidden) is dancing. (Of course, you already know this, lol.) What about you?

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
16:58 Apr 23, 2021

I'm not really sure, I can rap, I can dance (as you already know) and I can pop my hip in and out of place without it hurting. Soooooo yeah.

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Mazie Gray
12:37 Apr 24, 2021

Cool! ^^

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Mazie Gray
14:41 Apr 23, 2021

My favorite animals are dogs and horses. ^^

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
14:43 Apr 23, 2021

I also like dogs and horses. Who doesn't?

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Mazie Gray
14:44 Apr 23, 2021

A crazy person. :p

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
14:46 Apr 23, 2021

Yeah, lol.

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Mazie Gray
15:26 Apr 23, 2021

XD

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Mazie Gray
14:35 Apr 23, 2021

This story was short and sad, yet beautiful. You do have a way with words and your writing truly makes me feel the emotions of the characters. Keep writing, CJ, because I need to keep reading! (; -Brooke

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
14:39 Apr 23, 2021

Thank you so so so so much!!!!!!! You are way too kind.

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Mazie Gray
14:41 Apr 23, 2021

You're welcome! I'm just telling you what you deserve to know. :)

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
14:42 Apr 23, 2021

Awwww, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you have to be so awesome?

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Mazie Gray
14:43 Apr 23, 2021

My pleasure! XD That's a rhetorical question, right? (;

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
14:45 Apr 23, 2021

Yeah, but it's true! You're an amazing person.

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11:32 Apr 11, 2021

It really is beautiful, great work! You deserve a shortlist for this. Or at least a million likes and a million friendly comments. You are a great writer!

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
17:37 Apr 17, 2021

Thank you so much!

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18:07 Apr 17, 2021

:D

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Ruby Collins
21:28 Apr 09, 2021

also I just watched the video it is so cool and i think it goes really well with your story

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Ruby Collins
21:21 Apr 09, 2021

omg cj there was so much felling and pain in this story I loved it and think you use very good word choices you are a great writer and this is a great story it is sad story but still loved it

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ℂ𝕁 𝕄.
20:49 Apr 10, 2021

Aww tysm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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15:32 Sep 19, 2021

🧋

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