Interrupted

Submitted into Contest #260 in response to: Write a story with a big twist.... view prompt

43 comments

Drama Horror Thriller

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Interrupted


Her eyes popped open. Someone had their lips on her mouth. Kissing her. Oka-ay. Kissing... She let her eyes drift shut to enjoy the sensation. It must be her mate. What? Wait. No! It can't be...

She had the overwhelming need to cough. She couldn't help it. She coughed. Turned her head to the side and coughed and… Ew. That had to be a turn off! She spewed out even more. Poor fellow trying his best to make passionate love to her coming in again to close his mouth around hers just got spit on instead.

He turned her towards him and patted her back. “There you go, Your Highness. Good job. Keep spitting it out. You're coming around now. You'll be fine. Good. Good.”

She kept coughing and sputtering. “Wh-what..? W-why..? Who..? Who are you? What are you trying to do to me? Why are you kissing me? Get away from me! You can't be...” She raised her arm to take a swing at his smoochy face but he was faster and already had a firm grip on her wrist and had it under control.

“You are okay now. Take some deep breaths. I am trying to save your life. Giving you my own breath. You swallowed an ocean and wasn't breathing. Keep spitting it out. Good. Good.”

“Who are you and why are you out of uni...? Why are you out of any...?”

“I thought you needed it more than myself at the moment. Seems you lost most all...”

She looked down at herself seeing only a flimsy sheet covering her nearly naked body. That means he must have seen her. All of her.

“Maybe we can discuss this after I try to save his life?” He pointed at a lifeless looking body nearby.

She tried to watch as he bent over the body and started making kiss-y sounds. Over and over again. She thought he must be trying to force air into the man's lungs. Exactly as he must have been administrating to her lips. She brought trembling fingers to her lips remembering the connection. Not unpleasant at all. Life-saving! That was...different.

She tried to move closer but pain shot through her and a whelp of agony escaped her involuntarily. She felt like something was tying her down.

His eyes shot towards her, “Don't try to move yet until I can see how bad your injury is. One thing at a time, please, Your Highness.” He proceeded with his fruitless task.

Think. Think. What happened? Where were they? How did they get here? Was that her lover he was working on? Her mate? She didn't see how it could be so. He didn't survive the coupling did he? No. Not one ever had before.

She strained to see whatever she could around where she lay on her back. Everything looked out of context. Something had gone terribly wrong for them to wind up here. Wherever this could be. As leader she was the one who should be leading but how when she couldn't move. And why couldn't she move. What had happened? How many other survivors were there? Only three? Two if the hapless gent didn't start responding soon. Shouldn't he be responding by now? How safe were they laying here? Were there predators lurking nearby?

Her breathing quickened. She must conserve her energy. Wait. Just wait for his help. She took some deep breathes trying to get the pain to subside. And remember. She must remember. Why couldn't she remember?

He sidled back to her side. “I'm afraid my efforts are to no avail. He was too far gone. I can't bring him back. I am so sorry. Now, if I may, I must attend to your condition.”

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. “I-I don't know what to say. Who was he? Do you know?”

“You mean you don't remember? Yes, yes of course, I knew him well. We were working together.”

“Really. What, what is your position? Why don't I recognize you?”

“You took a mighty fall. You've suffered a blow to the head and other injuries. It is no wonder your memory is fuzzy. Relax and trust me to administer to you how I must and perhaps it will all come back to you. Don't worry. We will get to know each other very well.”

He started soothing her head then moved downward, down toward her swollen abdomen and kept massaging and -- and, what felt like stitching with ever so soft silkiness, over the sore spots. It was easing her anxiety so she let her vision drift upwards.

There above was... what was that up there? Was it night or day? Something way above was blocking out the light source. It seemed heavy with intricately crossed sections creating a structure for support. She was peering at the underside. The side that was decorated with shimmery delicate webs. Webs? Yes, webs! Her queen-dom of webs! That's where she fell from. That's where she belonged!

It was all coming back to her! Betrayal! Her lover. Her chosen mate. Every detail was well planned. He had brought her an enticing offering of soft-bellied beetle. They had started enjoying it together. She was willing to share. She was no longer ravishingly hungry. He entertained her with a skillful courtship dance. He had been so good looking and such a virile choice she had no intention of cutting the ritual short. It was going to be an awesome night of mutual copulation. Maybe, maybe even multiple times. They were both going to get lucky. She was looking forward to it being so sublime. So fulfilling.

She was bulging with a ripe egg sac perfectly spun and all that was needed was his speedy sperm and the deed would be complete. The pheromones were reading ready and she was welcoming his pedipalps to unfurl within her. Suddenly, a piercing stab to her hour-glass figure jolted her and made her lose her grip causing them both to spiral down; down into a great abyss ending in murky blackness gasping for breath beneath a watery grave. If not for this life-saver...This pale, skinny wanna-be...

“No! You are no life-saver! My survival senses failed. They should have warned stranger danger! You are the one that pierced my center. You're the one that caused our fall!”

“Ah, I see even with half your brain eaten you are beginning to remember. Yes, I am but a puny, pale male. But we males all have an instinctive drive to pass on our unique DNA to a new generation. I find myself extremely drawn to an older more voluptuous female specimen such as yourself. The chance for one like me to attract one of your royal class and desirability is near impossible. Much more probability I would be eaten for trying. I could have resorted to the suicide sacrificial effort of simply throwing myself directly into your waiting maw while delivering my seed to your quivering underbelly epigynum. At least my legacy would live on.

“No, instead I chose to work with Mister Big-Strong-Brown Body and let him take the risk of your rejection and act as a distraction for him. He was actually fairing pretty well for a first timer. He was ready to take the plunge before I rudely interrupted and beat him to the punch, so to speak.

“So, yes, My Pretty, it is my heritage your precious sac will carry. I will guard it with my life now after I hoist it back to the rafters above. I assure you, the coitus has been captivating. The bonds that bind your legs have obviously left you spellbound. Strictly a self-preservation tactic. I have plugged your riveting receptors so no other male can have the pleasure. But it wouldn't matter anyway. Your lover's guts gave me the fortitude to get you prepped. Now I'll have to devour you, My Sweet, to have the nourishment necessary to complete the hefty job before me.

“I admit mating with you has provided ecstasy beyond compare. I will cherish the memory. Once I'm finished wrapping our fertile sac in silk for transport I'll dive into your attractive red hour-glass figure to feast on that tasty shiny black buffet of bulbous abdomen you brandish about so temptingly. Sure, sure I stalked you. I wanted you. You would have devoured me. I planned, I betrayed a friend and I have been victorious. So sorry, Your Highness, but what would you expect in this mate-eat-mate world of ours?”

<><><>

Suddenly interrupted, a tiny finger pointed their way. “EEK! EW! Daddy, Daddy! What is it?” Screamed a little girl carrying a pink child-sized fishing pole to her father as she sludged through the muck in her purple polka-dot goulashes under the bridge heading toward their favorite fishing spot along the river.

“Looks like a nasty black-widow spider, Sweetheart. We don't want that around here!” Daddy smashed the heel of his boot down on the unfortunate melodramatic scene unfolding on the bank and twisted it all into the mud.

The Twisted End





July 26, 2024 20:02

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43 comments

13:32 Aug 01, 2024

Very clever! The ending is absolute gold!

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Mary Bendickson
14:12 Aug 01, 2024

Thank you.

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Wendy M
10:29 Aug 01, 2024

A clever twist, well done.

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Mary Bendickson
14:01 Aug 01, 2024

Thank you.

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Daniel Rogers
03:39 Jul 31, 2024

I like the story, but this twisted tale made me cringe. I hate spiders.

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Carol Stewart
01:26 Jul 31, 2024

Very twisty. Got to applaud your ingenuity even though I rather liked the idea I had at the start that the two main characters were people - the whole kiss of life idea was pretty ingenious as it was and I wonder if that's what you had in mind initially as spiders don't have arms and the dead one was referred to as a man. The naked spider/out of uniform/covered by just a sheet also made me wonder (exoskeleton related?). But certainly a memorable one, fitting of the prompt and very well written.

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Mary Bendickson
04:25 Jul 31, 2024

Had to give them human like attributes to lead you on the twisted path.😉

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00:57 Jul 31, 2024

What a tragic, twisted end. It had to happen. What about the babies? How cruel you are. This is an unusually grizzly tale. You wrote this so well. Despite the warning, I had to read it. I was spellbound as if caught up in a web. This one spins to a bitter end. (I'd forgotten just how it spun out, but it goes with the prompt so well!)

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Rebecca Detti
12:42 Jul 30, 2024

Loved it and the twist! made me laugh out loud. Please don't report me to any spider support groups:-)

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Mary Bendickson
15:07 Jul 30, 2024

Pleased you had a laugh. Secret is safe with me.😄

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Rebecca Detti
15:12 Jul 30, 2024

Phew! 😂

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Daniel Brandt
06:29 Jul 30, 2024

Haha, nice one!

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Hannah Lynn
02:36 Jul 30, 2024

Totally thinking outside the box! I loved it!

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Mary Bendickson
04:28 Jul 30, 2024

Glad you loved it❤️.

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Joseph Ellis
00:12 Jul 30, 2024

You've written poetry Mary. Nasty, glorious poetry. Loved every sentence.

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Mary Bendickson
04:24 Jul 30, 2024

You make my heart flutter.💓

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Pei Pei Lin
23:47 Jul 29, 2024

Gnarly! I love it!

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Mary Bendickson
00:06 Jul 30, 2024

Thanks so much!😄

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Annie Persson
20:06 Jul 28, 2024

..... I am speechless. That ENDING!!! WOW!! I have literally never read a story like this before and I have to say, this has got to be on the top of my list of favourites, despite the not-so-happy ending. This was BRILLIANT! :D

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Mary Bendickson
22:52 Jul 28, 2024

WOW! 😳 So glad you enjoyed it!

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Kendall Defoe
13:00 Jul 28, 2024

Not really sure you needed a warning on this one. A very interesting take on that prompt!

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Mary Bendickson
16:21 Jul 28, 2024

Some people don't like spiders. If I had specified in warning would have given away one of the twists. Thanks for liking and commenting.

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♡ Tana ♡
23:56 Jul 27, 2024

Wow! What a creative perspective and well written piece!! I was laughing with pleased surprise and shivering at the amazing descriptions!! You nailed it yet again!

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Mary Bendickson
05:02 Jul 28, 2024

Thank you so much.😁

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Malcolm Twigg
22:41 Jul 27, 2024

Fascinating story. You really had me going at the start - was this mainstream, was this sci-fi? I had no idea. Turned out it didn't matter in the end. I thi k you should have kept the 'spidey' reference out though. I was still guessing up to that point.

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Mary Bendickson
23:02 Jul 27, 2024

Oops.

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Darvico Ulmeli
20:51 Jul 27, 2024

I knew it is a spider. Enjoyed a lot.

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Mary Bendickson
21:22 Jul 27, 2024

But I still added the twist at the end, right?

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Darvico Ulmeli
21:33 Jul 27, 2024

Yes. For a moment I thought he were going to get out.

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Mary Bendickson
21:50 Jul 27, 2024

I did it for the arachnophobiac readers.

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Trudy Jas
19:50 Jul 27, 2024

Spiteful sperm donor squashed in sand.

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Mary Bendickson
20:11 Jul 27, 2024

Senseless Spidey senses.🕷️🕸️so sad.😞 Thanks for liking and commenting.

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Marty B
19:18 Jul 27, 2024

Great twist! The poor little spider had some grand plans, squished!

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Mary Bendickson
19:31 Jul 27, 2024

He didn't see that coming.😅 Thanks for commenting.

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Rebecca Lewis
18:41 Jul 27, 2024

This is an intriguing piece! The way you transition from a romantic kiss to the realization of a life-or-death situation is engaging and keeps the reader on their toes. I liked how you revealed the characters’ true nature the twist that they're spiders. I enjoyed the creativity and unique perspective of your story.

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Mary Bendickson
18:46 Jul 27, 2024

Thanks, once more.

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Alexis Araneta
12:26 Jul 27, 2024

So imaginative, Mary !!! Fun read this one !

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Mary Bendickson
14:02 Jul 27, 2024

Glad you found it fun.

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Kristi Gott
01:59 Jul 27, 2024

Lol, great surprise twist! Fun story! The slow unfolding of the clues kept me in suspense. Very entertaining. I enjoyed your story!

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Mary Bendickson
02:00 Jul 27, 2024

Thanks:)

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