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From the Eyes of a Bird

Submitted into Contest #63 in response to: Write a story from the perspective of a bird migrating for the winter.... view prompt

Kaitlyn Haffner

72 comments

Funny

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack.

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(Author's note: I don't expect to win. I saw the prompt and thought it would be funny.)


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October 09, 2020 15:24

Kaitlyn Haffner

2 submissions

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72 comments

Rayhan Hidayat
08:16 Oct 17, 2020

The part that goes "Quack Quack Quack," felt a little clunky, I think "Quack Quack Quack Quack," would have been a more concise yet equally vivid metaphor. Though I have to say, "Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack" was absolutely superb. My god, such riveting, heartfelt and thought-provoking description. You have no problem conveying the protagonist's struggles. Kudos. 9.6/10 -IGN

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Kaitlyn Haffner
11:57 Oct 17, 2020

Thank you for the constructive criticism, and I wholeheartedly agree that “Quack Quack Quack Quack” would have been better. Thank you for the kind words!

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Sunny 🌼
13:25 Oct 18, 2020

Oh god I'm laughing way too hard rn

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Keston Paul
04:27 Oct 17, 2020

Damn, so emotional and moving. You conveyed the bird's perspective so well. I hope you win !

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Molly Leasure
04:34 Oct 17, 2020

Haha, I clicked on this half expecting it to become words at some point--nope. You got me xD

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Shae Greyfeather
11:17 Oct 19, 2020

Same

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Alby Carter
04:14 Oct 17, 2020

This is really deep. You were quite creative with the prompt.

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Joe Sauers
07:05 Oct 17, 2020

That quacked me up. 🤣

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Mia S
20:47 Oct 17, 2020

YES

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ASHTON NOBLE
06:06 Oct 17, 2020

Best plot twist I've ever read. Lol, this just made my depression fly out the door. 👍👏👏

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BOI. SKATEBOARDS.
04:37 Oct 17, 2020

You deserve a bird trophy so I'm gonna ctrl + command + spacebar 200 times for this. 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 🦆 (God help my fingers)

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Sunny 🌼
13:26 Oct 18, 2020

r.i.p your fingers

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Hope Rivers
04:36 Oct 17, 2020

Wow. I never read something and felt so inspired. Your ideas we’re conveyed beautifully. I look forward to seeing more of your brilliant work. Again so well written and truly meaning full. I loved seeing the duck such a simple animal go through so many life changing moments. I don’t think I can express enough how incredible this story was. Wow super impressed. Good luck you deserve a win!!❤️❤️

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Megan Faith
14:16 Oct 17, 2020

May I offer some constructive criticism? Absolutely nothing, it was perfect, bless you.

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Igor Markovic
09:49 Oct 17, 2020

*nods* *inhales* Quack...

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Kaitlyn Haffner
18:02 Oct 18, 2020

*nods in agreement*

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Crystal Lewis
04:12 Oct 17, 2020

Excellent, wonderful, fantastic, comedy gold, 10/10 loved it! 😂🏆🏆🏆

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Cheryl H
02:01 Oct 18, 2020

Great story! You got me with this one. Thanks for the laugh! I so needed it!

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K Lewis
23:56 Oct 17, 2020

If this doesn't win, there is truly no justice in the world

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Abigail Airuedomwinya
04:29 Oct 18, 2020

Is there something in this piece that I'm missing?

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Sunny 🌼
13:27 Oct 18, 2020

the balance of the universe would be disrupted

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Unknown User
06:25 Oct 17, 2020

<removed by user>

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Rayhan Hidayat
08:17 Oct 17, 2020

Well, the judges clearly know what they're looking for.

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Unknown User
08:26 Oct 17, 2020

<removed by user>

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Rayhan Hidayat
14:51 Oct 17, 2020

And plum sauce.

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Xiao Shan
05:00 Oct 17, 2020

Pog, this really resonated with me. Godspeed <3

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Aveena Bordeaux
04:29 Oct 17, 2020

Oh yes! This was so amazing and heartfelt <3

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Lani Lane
16:48 Oct 18, 2020

Caught a few punctuation mistakes, can omit the period after “Quack Quack Quack Quack” and the other one after “Quack Quack Quack.” Seriously though, you made my day.

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Regina Perry
15:36 Oct 18, 2020

Kaitlyn, this is fantastic! I love how you've dealt with this prompt. The details are magnificent! You've pulled the stream of consciousness model of storytelling off perfectly. This story accurately captures the nostalgia one feels about flying back over old haunts on the way to something new. I especially love the way you had the drake (male duck) remembering details that happened to him in each place he flew over on his trip south. It was a great way to add backstory without getting too caught up in it and letting it take over. The ending...

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Kaitlyn Haffner
18:01 Oct 18, 2020

Thank you for the suggestions and I will definitely remember them for next time I write a story.

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Lina Oz
05:19 Oct 18, 2020

Simply powerful. Beautifully written. Art.

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Ariadne .
04:47 Oct 17, 2020

Wow. This story seriously changed my entire perspective on ducks. Well done! I never thought such an animal would be so deep. 😏🤣😂

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