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Historical Fiction Drama

I loved my Mother.


I laughed when she told me her many stories that took place somewhere in the sky. I sang sweet songs with her as we folded the never-ending pile of laundry. I cried harder than any raging storm while I watched her life leave her body, leaving behind nothing but a shell of lost memories.


I will always love my Mother for all the blessings she gave me.


But for this one moment, hatred burns through my body, and I read the words she could never tell me with her living voice, a secret that I am sure tore her apart with every waking moment.


The stars in my sky never shined bright until the day you came into my life. There isn’t enough silver in the world to show how much love you gave me. It is now my time to leave this life and unfortunately, leave you as well. I wish to not take the truth with me, but I also hope you will not look down upon yourself after reading the words. With you, I leave my dying wish, for you to live happy furthermore.


I wanted nothing more than to rip up the paper and burn it in the night fire, but I couldn’t bring myself to part with my Mother’s last words. Instead, I carried it inside my dress, close to my heart, to feel the last of her love.


The following days were hard to stand. I listen to the younger maids squeal as they dreamed while washing the floors just as they did, day and day before. Speaking of jeweled crowns and dresses covered in lace while wearing clothes of dust.


“I would take a dagger to heart just to be a princess! “


How real that dagger feels after I found out how close I was to be that princess. How that dagger twists and turns after learning that the Queen was my real Mother by blood. It could have been me wearing flowing dresses and eating large feasts, but instead, I get to clean their dirty scraps.


I was burdened with the curse of a broken body, one that couldn’t bear the miracle of a child. I heard the screams of our fair lady, her majesty going through her labor. Soon after I found you in the maids well, your face the most beautiful thing I‘ve ever seen. I took you and told others that you were my child.


Before, I wished there were more mirrors around this bloody castle, but now I never want to see my reflection again. My Mother would spend extra time with me when we cleaned the mirrors together, allowing us to gaze at each other while no one was watching. She would brush my hair with her fingers and whisper to me how beautiful I was. Tell me how my leg was a sign of how strong I really was.


Now I know better. I see the burden this deformed leg had brought me. It cost me a chance to be on top, dance along with heavenly music while princes watched and wished they could dance along with me. I want to live up to my Mother’s dying wish, but whenever I stare into the mirror’s, I see nothing but what could have been.


You were my blessing from the heavens; I could have never imagined having a better child. You are such a talented girl, learning how to read and write faster than any boy has. We may come from the corners of dust, but my dear child, I can see such a beautiful life ahead of you. 


My head flares up with different feelings each time I see the princess. Each time she summons me to brush her hair or tighten her dress. She is the second attempt, the perfect young girl to carry the crown. She and I are one of the same, sisters who shall never be family.


For quick moments while my hands are around her head, I feel the urge to tighten them and not let go until I can feel nothing more. Though I wish to do it, I would never go through with my sinful act. Every time the urge arises, so does the feeling of my Mother’s eyes and her desire for me to be lead by kindness. That is why I keep my silence and brush her hair while she sits, oblivious to the anger that fills my heart.


I was forced to listen to her mindless blabber once news of her wedding was released. Her voice was worse than the young maids, for her vision was not a dream, but what was going to be. A handsome prince from the west was coming to take her hand in marriage, the King’s way of replacing his throne as he becomes old and ill.


She spoke of sweet cakes and more jewels as I tightened her dress for the two young royals’ grand meeting. I knew deep down as the sister that she would never know that I should be happy. Tears of joys should be shed as I witness her walking down the aisle to meet her husband, a literal stranger whose name she can’t even pronounce.


I should feel something, but all there is in my heart is ice. I have no love for this sister of mine, the ungrateful brat with everything set on a silver plate. I simply stayed back and watched her become Queen, a queen that could have been me.


 I wish I could have given you the royal life of luxury that you deserved. I wanted nothing more than to be able to feed you their wonderful food and cloth you in outfits that had no holes. I am sorry I could not replace the life that you were born into. I hope that one day you can forgive me. It would be my greatest pleasure to see you once again and have you call me your Mother.


My heart began to feel different as the years went on. Both my blood parents passed in the night, their illness taking the last they had left in their fragile bodies. The new King and Queen left with no guidance on ruling a country of more than they can count.


I watched as they made terrible decisions, sending troops out to kill the people of our allies for the slightest reward. I saw the peasants starving out on the streets. All the food was hoarded in the castle for the royals and nobles to enjoy. I felt the hit along with my fellow servants as our portions started to ever shrink.


I listened as calls for help fell onto the deaf ears of the King and my sister, the most pathetic Queen she could be. For years I was jealous of the life I could have led that my sister held instead, how desperate I was to have my chance back to be that Royal child. Yes, for years, I felt that way, but not anymore.


How could I be jealous as I watch my sister get what she deserves? I watch with nothing more than a smile as her guards’ rebel and drag her and the King out to the streets, dirtying her elegant dress. I listen to her cries of help that fall upon the deaf ears of the subjects she betrayed. We all cheer as the rope is tightened against her throat. Now, as I watch her dangle and life leave her eyes, I can let go of all the anger that filled my heart before.


For now, I know deep inside me that when I see my Mother again, I will thank her for giving me a life better than any royal one.


October 02, 2020 20:08

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40 comments

Writer Maniac
02:39 Oct 06, 2020

Woah!!! I really loved her change in attitude towards the end, when she started to accept her truth!!! Wonderfully well-written story!!!

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Lynn Penny
03:02 Oct 06, 2020

Thank you!

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Juliet Martin
08:41 Oct 07, 2020

Great story! I love that the reveal in the mother's letter comes gradually throughout the story - you draw the reader into the plot very effectively. It's a clever and thought-provoking twist, which is complemented by the fact that your character is complex and very human. Very impactful idea

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Lynn Penny
16:08 Oct 07, 2020

Thank you! I wanted to write a character who wasn’t good or bad, but just more human. Your compliments made my day!

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Jill Davies
03:04 Oct 05, 2020

This is such a fun way to address the prompt. I like that the character is neither good nor bad. She’s human and she experienced normal human emotions about the situation. And she grows!

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Lynn Penny
05:35 Oct 05, 2020

Thanks! I really wanted to avoid the hero and villain aspect this time around.

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Fplldg Wakdwwdg
02:20 Oct 03, 2020

Lovely story! "My heart began to feel different as the years went on."-Amazing time skip. "For now, I know deep inside me that when I see my Mother again, ..."- I don't know if the capita 'M' of 'mother' was used to emphasize. If so, it's good! And the last passage of realization was indisputably hitting. Very well done. Keep those stories coming!

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Lynn Penny
04:03 Oct 03, 2020

Thanks! I like stories that have smooth time jumps so I'm always happy when I nail it.

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Jennifer Osborne
18:23 Oct 30, 2020

You tie everything in so beautifully; in the least amount of words possible. Very beautiful! I felt like I could see the narrator's wisdom coming at the end of the story.

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Lynn Penny
16:11 Nov 01, 2020

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

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Keerththan 😀
16:59 Oct 17, 2020

The story was lovely. The story flowed smoothly and read wonderfully. Great job. Keep writing. Would you mind reading my new story? Thanks.

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Lynn Penny
17:17 Oct 17, 2020

Thank you! I would love to read your work!

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Lynne Street
07:41 Oct 14, 2020

Oh, this is Gooood! You have taken the fairy tale of happy pretty princesses and turned it on its head. I love the ending: "...when I see my Mother again, I will thank her for giving me a life better than any royal one."

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Lynn Penny
23:16 Oct 14, 2020

Thank you! I love fairy tails so I wanted to give it a different twist.

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DREW LANE
10:50 Oct 08, 2020

Very interesting twist at the end. I liked how the story emerged and developed, unveiling step by step various elements and leading to something I absolutely did not expect. I love how you used a wording specific to princes and princesses - anchoring the story in a vain castle world and brought up that dramatic twist at the end. There was almost a sense of destiny in how the daughter was saved from that tragic and empty life and I like how you succinctly delivered all that information at the end. She was very human in her feelings, ackno...

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Lynn Penny
18:02 Oct 08, 2020

Thanks! I love fairy tales but I love the grim versions even more so I wanted to do my take on one. Glad you liked it!

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Charles Stucker
00:13 Oct 06, 2020

found you in the maids well- maid's "I should feel something, but all there is in my heart is ice." too much is. "I should feel something, but only ice sits in my heart." I tried my hand at this prompt, but couldn't get it right. Although it has a very modern sensibility, with evil monarchs getting their just comeuppance, the tale as told manages to retain a sense of an earlier era. The new appreciation for the letter is good, but I think a good sequel would be possible if someone were to sweep in from outside the nation to put down t...

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Lynn Penny
02:01 Oct 06, 2020

Thanks! I was thinking French Revolution but more like mediaeval vibes. I honestly made up this character as I went, so I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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Patrece Reed
17:20 Oct 04, 2020

Hello, Lynn. I really enjoyed reading your story. It was a very creative piece, easy to read, and follow. Just a couple of suggestions. Here "I could of lead" it should have been spelled I could HAVE LED. And here "dirting her elegant dress" should be DIRTYING. There may have been a couple of other similar typo's, but I didn't find them to be too distracting from this really great story! Very nice.

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Lynn Penny
17:25 Oct 04, 2020

Thank you for the typos! I'm glad I got to fix it before it got approved.

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Patrece Reed
20:01 Oct 04, 2020

Sure thing! The contests here are a lot of fun. Best of luck to you!

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B Easton
22:32 Oct 03, 2020

This was really solid story. I think the cinderella aspect/twist was very creative, and there were a few lines that I especially like such as “I would take a dagger to heart just to be a princess! “

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Lynn Penny
22:43 Oct 03, 2020

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

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Bookmark Here
19:08 Oct 03, 2020

Cinderella reversal with a twist. Love it. Fantastic Job!

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Lynn Penny
19:20 Oct 03, 2020

I like your analogy, Thanks!

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Maggie Deese
00:46 Oct 03, 2020

This was beautiful, Lynn. Powerful storytelling and I loved the passage of time throughout this. Well done!

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Lynn Penny
01:53 Oct 03, 2020

Thank you! This one was rushed so I'm glad it came out well

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Lourenço Amorim
20:26 Oct 02, 2020

Great story. I like the way you cover many years and events in just a few words.

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Lynn Penny
21:23 Oct 02, 2020

Thank you!

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Lily Kingston
06:08 Oct 07, 2020

I love this story. I’ve never read a royal twist like this one and I’m happy she finds peace with the life she led. Keep up the good work and keep writing!!

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Lynn Penny
16:07 Oct 07, 2020

Thanks! I shall and I hope you do too!

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Ola Hotchpotch
17:29 Oct 06, 2020

I'might not criticising but as a reader I feel there are holes and gaps in your story. 1. How come the king and Queen never enquire what happened to their child. You have not written that. 2. They couldn't have thrown their child away because she was a girl. It was a girl who became queen. 3. If her new mother, who stole her, for her own selfishness, really loved her, she would have told the king and Queen about the child she stole instead of making her live a life of abject poverty. I feel sorry for the girl but she should have approached t...

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Lynn Penny
18:42 Oct 06, 2020

Hi! I was trying to hint that she was discarded by the royal family because of a disability in her leg. Her mother saved her from drowning in the well after she was discarded by her real parents. The princess never knew that the maid was her elder sister, because the king and queen hid the fact that they had a disabled child before. I wanted to highlight how jealousy and anger can hinder someone blind to the blessings they have. Thank you for your deep analysis of my work!

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Ola Hotchpotch
01:56 Oct 07, 2020

Many parents discard their children due to disabilities. Poor parents do have the privilege to enjoy sex and get children as a consequence and are further privileged by society and law to abandon them . A small child who can't speak for herself is further plagued by self serving people. Rich parents usually get their unwanted children killed . You did not write the royal queen tried to throw her baby into the well? It was nowhere in your story. If you went through the process of childbirth you would have known human beings are not like cats ...

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Lynn Penny
16:06 Oct 07, 2020

Wow, I didn’t know that at all! I’ll be sure to take this into consideration for my future historical works. Thanks!

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Andrew Krey
03:44 Oct 04, 2020

Hi Lynn, I enjoyed your story, it's a great lesson that the grass isn't always greener. I also liked that she didn't kill her sister as she wanted to live a kind life like her mother wanted, but standing by and letting her be killed was a whole different matter! Lol My favourite part is how mother and daughter have a conversation in the narration beyond the grave. The use of italics to refer to the mothers thoughts is excellently done. I also like the double reveal - first we think the mother feels guilty for stealing a baby, then we r...

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Lynn Penny
06:27 Oct 04, 2020

Thank you for the lovely comment! You were on a super great roll! I was so rushed for this story, so I was worried it may of been poorly executed. Thank you for boosting my ego, school has been pounding it down.

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Andrew Krey
15:39 Oct 04, 2020

You’re welcome, and done with homework! Lol Sometimes rushing makes your brutal with the edit and makes your writing lean.

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Elizabeth Inkim
03:52 Oct 03, 2020

Wonderful twist and inciting incident! An enjoyable read, truly. This week I tried something different and wrote a character-driven story that centres around dialogue, its called "A Rose By Any Other Name" and I'd love to know what you think.

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Lynn Penny
22:43 Oct 03, 2020

Thank you! I would love to read your work!

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