Fantasy Funny Fiction

A man emerged from the shores of the beach. Standing in the water a few feet from the shore. He had dark blue eyes, a blonde top that was shaved on the sides and he was wearing tropical leaf pattern shorts. A pair of sleek black sunglasses sat firmly on his face. The man stood and stared intently at the busy California street and watched the cars and people pass by. He was waiting for someone.

A man gracefully emerged next to him. He didn’t trudge in the water instead he sort of lifted and slid into appearance with waves parting. He had brunette hair, one side shaved and the other side looked overgrown. His bright blue eyes joined the other man onto the street. He was wearing a dark blue swim trunk.

“Must you always be so dramatic?” Asked the blonde man.

“Yes”, the brunette looked down, “What in the sea’s name are you wearing?” 

“Oh, you don’t like it?”

“It’s something.”

“The humans wear them. They seem to favor this design for swimwear.”

“The humans have no fashion sense” the brunette sighs.

“You just have a close mind,” remarked the blonde.

“Oh shut up Aquarius” 

“You don’t need to be so rude, Delta” protested Aquarius.

“What are those there on your face?”

“Sunglasses, they help my eyes not burn in the sun.”

“You’ve been up here too long,” muttered Delta.

“Well, you said ‘go and observe the humans and gives us reasons not to smite them!”

“I didn’t think it would take you over a millenia to do so! Come to the land find reasons come back! Was that so hard?” Delta asked.

“Well, I got carried away,” whispered Aquarius.

“Doing what?”

Aquarius turned his head and looked at Delta. He was still staring at the California street. His eyes stood in bewilderment and his face in a permanent scowl. 

“Observing just like you said,” Aquarius claimed. “At least I sent down notes and stuff and this isn’t the first time we meet, so I’m doing something.” The God smiled.

Delta turned, looking into Aquaris eyes. “When was that last time?”  

“Oh, I don’t remember the last time, sometime between 1856-maybe 1850. It’s been a while.”

“I don’t recognize this place. Why is that also what year is it?”

“A bit hard to tell in the dark of the sea?” Aquarius said. Delta gave him a death glare that could have killed him. “Oh alright. It’s 2021 and we’re on the coast of California, it wasn’t even a state then, and last time we were on the coast of Delaware.”

“What are those big shiny things moving on the road?” Delta asked. 

“Cars. Humans used to them to get to places”

Delta did not answer back. He just stared for he didn’t approve of the big shiny moving cars. 

“You know things have escalated since you were there Aquarius.”

Aquarius stared and looked down. “I know.”

“The Gods down there are angry even more so than they were before.”

“I know.”

“They also don’t think your little notes or packages of human things are good, and I think in fact there pissed off more.”

“I know.”

“If you know then why don’t you fix it?” Delta asked.

“I don’t know how to. Once hundreds of immortal begins who think their superior decided that a species must die you can’t exactly change their mind. So I’ve been stalling.”

“Stalling? I must say stalling for one thousand years is impressive but stupid. We are superior Aquarius at least we haven’t destroyed other worlds.”

“I must admit the Humans have indeed done some bad to their world...and to ours in the process but that doesn’t mean they should die for it!”

“May I need to remind you what they’ve done? What started this feud was the overfishing of our seas and then the murders of the merfolk. You know they didn’t mean to sink their ships, they were just minding their business and a few horny men just had to check them out. Left many grieving husbands, children, and wives who survived. They also still continue to sink thier ships , and then they throw their dead bodies, feces, and things in the sea. Then the new age comes, they're overfishing more than ever, oil is begin poured into the sea, trash is rampant and it´s everywhere. The coral reefs are dying and much much more do I need to go on Aqaruis?’

“No,” Aquarius says. He looked down and splashed the water with his feet. It was true, everything was true and he wasn’t quite sure what to say. In over 1,000 years he tried to piece why they shouldn’t kill the human race. He tried to find the right words but he could never find them. He didn’t think it was right to do such a thing but hundreds disagreed. 

“The gods could have done something you know. They could have helped in some way but nooo they had to sit and do nothing and sulk in a big palace.” Aquarius blurted.

“We are not the police of humans!” Delta half-shouted.

“If your not the police then you can’t be the judge and sentence them to death!”

“You have a point, but I must say Aquarius, you seem to have fond of the human race.”

“So what if I do? What are you gonna do about that?”

“If you love them so much, then defend them, go on tell me why we shouldn’t murder them?”

“Your just one god, it’s not going to do much.”

“Two Gods are better than one and you’ve been one for a long time,” says Delta.

“Fine but If I do manage to convince you what could you do? I’ve been trying for years and haven’t gotten through to them.” 

“That’s because you do such a poor job at it.” Scoffed Delta.

Aquarius threw a glare. “Fine if I somehow managed to convince you, will you try to convince the others?”

“Shut up and get on with it.”

“Fine. Humans are so much more than destroyers much more than that. They also build things so many things. They have so much love and compassion for the earth and its sea!”

“They’re certainly not showing it.”

Aquarius threw another death glare and continued, “ Many of them do care and are trying to do whatever they can to help, certainly more than the old stingy gods. Both races have problems, all do, they love each other so much. They all have dreams and aspirations they want to do. Many want to make the world, including ours, better even if it is in small ways. The Gods only want to fix our world, whereas humans want to make both better. They’re trying to save everything, us included were are just saving ourselves and possibly destroying another world. So, in the end, we either help or we become exactly like them.”

“Many points, many good points” whispered Delta.

"Also with the humans gone who's to say the ocean would get better? Humans are trying to fix it even if just a small number but it's more than the gods. Sure the Gods would kill another race and then what? Have they disgust what is going to happen next?" Aquarius asked

"I have no idea..."

"I bet you they will do nothing. They will think that oh it's going to get better and do nothing and I don't think that it will get better."

Delta just stared at him. Aquarius hoped it was enough. He saw Delta's wheels turning.

“So I have I convinced you?” Asked Aquarius?


“Look...I just want to save them”

“It would seem like you do.”

“So are you going to help me? Two Gods are better than one.”

“Indeed two gods are better than one.”

“Two Gods are better than one. Two gods just may or not save the human race so my question is are you going to be number two?”

“I suppose so” and the Two gods smiled at each other.

February 27, 2021 00:27

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Lily Kingston
19:00 Mar 13, 2021

I like their banter and casual conversation about the destruction of mankind. Keep up the good work and keep writing!!


Annette Lovewind
23:11 Mar 13, 2021

Thank You! Much apprecited


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Annette Lovewind
00:44 Feb 27, 2021

So, I gave up on editing as usual, since you guessed it I lost motivation. Anyway, I've been watching way too much Doctor Who and I'm reading the Good Omens book and I think the writing style of both of them has bled through. Anyway, enjoy!


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