BOOGEYMEN, COME TO ORDER

Susie found herself lagging behind her parents at the second national park they’d visited in a week. She never slept well in strange beds and her feet were dragging. The endless drone of the tour guide leading the group wasn’t helping. She felt as though all she wanted was to curl up on one of the wooden benches they passed occasionally and sleep the rest of the day.

“Catch up, Susie!” Her mother beckoned her with a firm tone and gesture.

As her mother turned her attention back to the painfully cheerful guide lady, Susie caught a blurry movement out of the corner of her eye.

She allowed the other patrons to walk around her as she tried to focus on what had grabbed her attention.

“Susie!”

“I just have to tie my shoe! I’ll catch up!”

“Do it quickly then!”

Susie’s mother and father were swept along with the others and Susie ran to the side, pretending to tend to her laces. Checking to be sure no one was watching, she snuck behind a large rock and saw what she’d suspected, a black cat’s tail. It swished a bit and then disappeared. Susie followed. This was the most excitement she’d had all day, all week.

She followed the cat, all black from what she could see, through rocks, bushes and eventually to a grove of trees. Susie hesitated before venturing into the thick, shadowy area. Was there a path?

“Meow.”

Susie saw the cat peek its face from around one of the trees further into the grove.

“There you are!”

Susie took a step forward. The cat jumped onto a mossy stump and stared at Susie. This was a young cat with a white diamond on its forehead and beautiful yellow eyes.  

“Meow?”

“Haha! Well, if you insist!”

By the time Susie caught up to the cat, she was so enchanted by the purring feline, she didn’t stop to think she had no idea where she was.

“You may pet me, if you’d like.”

Susie froze.

“Who was that?” Susie whispered, afraid to move.

“Who do you think?”

Susie stared into the cat’s face.

“You? But you’re a cat. Aren’t you?”

“More gifted than the average, perhaps, but yes. And you catch on quicker than most, little girl. I’ve had them scream, run into trees, trip over themselves trying to get away, even throw things at me as though speech translated into some evil intent.”

Susie felt her muscles relax as shock gave way to fascination. She felt powerfully drawn to this magical creature. 

“Well, look at you! You’re beautiful. What’s your name then?”

“Why, how kind of you to say! I am Laertes. And you?”

“My name is Su . . . did you say Laertes? Well, now, that’s what I call a name! And how, if I’m not being too forward, did you learn to talk?”

“Spell. What I mean to say is by a spell put on me by my mistress witch. I have a witch.”

“Oh! Is she a good witch or is she . . .”

“She’s a witch. Period. Come, I’ll introduce you. And I like your name. Is it Sioux as in the Native American? They’ll be so pleased. Medicine People are well revered where I come from, you know.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t.”

Susie decided not to correct her new friend.  Sioux, she thought, was a pretty cool nickname. She thought she might like to keep it.

She followed Laertes as well as she could.  He would stop on occasion and allow her to catch up. He was very patient and accommodating for a cat, thought Susie; surprising that he even cared that she should follow. Good thing, too, considering she’d be lost otherwise.

They came to a small clearing in the woods.

“Wait here, Sioux. I’ll be right back.”

With that, Laertes turned and disappeared behind a wall of bamboo.

Susie took the time to admire her surroundings. There were various seating areas made up of polished stone and bright green stumps topped with exotic flowers sprouting from wooden vases and bowls. The walkways were made up of colorful pebbles lined with white rocks on either side. More green lichen and moss formed a carpet that led to bamboo partitions that separated several huts and ladders that rose to meet tree houses equipped with wooden balconies and walkways.

In the center of the grove was a small pond where Susie could see orange and yellow fish darting about. At the edges, there were dragonflies hovering and toads perched on the rocks, croaking throats bubbling and eyes blinking.  

“Why, Laertes, you didn’t tell me how pretty our visitor is!”

Susie turned to face a striking young woman dressed in long flowing robes colored in cloudy swirls of green, blue, and black silk.

Susie gave a polite curtsy, something she’d never done before and couldn’t be certain she’d done correctly.

“Hello. My name is Sus . . . Sioux.”

“And what charm you possess for one so young! I commend you, my dear. It is obvious to me that you are a soul far beyond your years, and there is great purpose that awaits you.”

Susie almost giggled but held her restraint. Clearing her throat, she asked the exotic creature smiling before her a question.

“May I ask, what is this place? It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“Oh, you won’t find it with a compass or on any map, I assure you. But please forgive me, where are my manners?  My name is Lamia and this is my retreat.  It’s had many names over the years, but I recently renamed it Hidey-Hole Haven. My home is just over there.”

“It’s lovely. The pond is especially beautiful.”

“Why, thank you, my dear. You are most kind and I, on the other hand, have left my manners somewhat out of reach today. Do forgive me, once again. Would you like some tea, a cool drink perhaps?”

“I’d die for a soda.”

Something in the way Susie answered Lamia’s invitation sparked a subtle shift in the witch’s demeanor. What had initially greeted Susie as an attractive, well-mannered hostess was transformed, for only a moment, into a menacingly grotesque daemon, a hungry one. Before the image could take hold in Susie’s consciousness, it receded deep inside her, and the original Lamia was back.

“Please, come with me. I think I have just the thing.”

* * *

Lamia’s home was a place Susie had only read about in books. It was small but quaint, comfortable. Chairs and sofa had huge cushions that reached out and embraced their occupants. There was a cozy fireplace, windows laced with golden silk curtains and healthy plant life everywhere, both hanging and potted. Susie could smell musky incense and smoky cinnamon spice.

She never wanted to leave.  

“Please, my dear, sit. I believe this will be to your liking.”

On a wooden tray, there was a small pitcher of amber liquid with shining sugar crystals adorning the rim. The frosted glasses had the same treatment and there was a plate of sweets for two.

“This looks wonderful!”

Lamia filled their glasses. “Let’s not stand on ceremony. Please.”

Laertes sat nearby, watching everything.

Lamia began to speak as she observed her young guest take a large sip of her drink and then bend forward to inspect the sweet array before her.

“Laertes, your skills have vastly improved over the centuries. She is perfect for our purposes this evening. It’s never been a simple task to impress the fellowship but I think tonight we’re all in for a treat.”

“How many are coming?”

“So far as I can see, all of them. It’s good we planned for 31 because it appears we’ll have a full house. How many cages have you prepared?”

“One for each, and the 31^st is for our latest catch.”

“We’d better get a move on then. They’ll be here soon.”

Susie didn’t hear a word of this. She drank her “soda” to the last drop and, after savoring two buttery finger tarts, found herself in a state of bliss. She allowed herself to be enveloped by the cushiony pillow she leaned back into, and drifted.

* * * 

By the time Susie began to emerge from her sublime stupor, it was dark. She felt suspended and slowly pieced together her predicament. She was being held in a wooden cage affixed to a branch that was part of the row of treehouses she had spied upon her arrival. There were cages everywhere, all strung to branches, empty.

When she looked down, Susie saw a large, long wooden table, set with vials of various colorful liquids, mountains of crystals that twinkled in the candlelight, and beautifully painted pottery that held plants and herbs. At the head of the table was a tabletop podium that held an antique book bound with leather and brass hinges.  

"Are you comfortable in there?"

“Laertes? What is all this?”

“I wanted to talk to you before the sedatives wear off. I wanted to tell you I enjoyed meeting you and to say I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? I’m not. I’d like us to be friends. I’d like to stay here with you.”

 Laertes’ golden eyes blinked.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“You don’t understand. No one understands me. I can’t talk to anyone my age and my parents pretend to tolerate me. You’re the first real friend I’ve ever had.”

“I have to go, Sioux. And it’s really Susie, isn’t it?”

Susie giggled.

“And I’ve been thinking of you as Larry this whole time!”

Laertes’ mouth opened in surprise.

“I have to go.”

“Will I see you again?”

You may not want to, Laertes thought, as he scampered away.

* * *

Lamia was putting the finishing touches on her features. She had removed the mask and beheld the face that reflected her true self. 

She’d been stealing children for centuries to replace the ones taken from her when Hera discovered they were her husband’s offspring. It was Zeus’ vengeful wife that had kept Lamia’s eyes from being able to close, lest sleep lessen the gnawing grief and the void she tried filling with her treasured captives. 

She had managed to put them all to practical use. Over the centuries, children had provided the oil in the lamps, the skins for her drapes, bedspreads and clothing, the nourishment for her table. The evil within her soul had replaced her once captivating beauty with the features of a ghoulish monster.  Her body had become serpentine and tonight she would come as she was.

“This one’s too bright for you, you know.”

“What is that noise? My guests will be here any minute. Don’t disturb me.”

“I’m too bright for you, too, for this.”

“Silence! Do not test me, Feline! I made you what you are and, if you’re not careful, I’ll turn you back into the mangy runt you were when you first came to me. You could be replaced by any number of available feral bitches! Don’t forget that!”

Laertes easily dodged the witch’s brush, and then disappeared.

* * *

“Bright Blessings, Annis!  You never age and, judging by the beautiful skins around your waist, time and children continue to be good to you!”

“Merry Meet! You exaggerate, Lamia, but I like it. You, as always, are pungent perfection!”

“I believe everyone’s here. Look at the cages. All fully occupied!”

“Who’s Master of Ceremonies this year, Annis?”

“The American, Boogeyman. Must be odd having the same label we all bear in one form or another as your given name. Ah, well, he is one of our best. Let’s see what he has to say.”

Lamia’s table was crowded with the world’s finest boogeymen, those timeless monsters of legend parents around the world used and counted upon to keep their children obedient and well-behaved. 

“Come to order! We have things to discuss before we can move on to the yearly ritual we all look forward to.

Bright Blessings to you all! And special thanks to Lamia, who gracefully offered her splendid retreat, Hidey-Haven, is it? Nicely done, as usual.”

There was a round of nods and murmurs aimed toward Lamia, who stood behind the podium. She nodded back, smiling.

“This past year has been a challenging one.” Boogeyman continued. “It has virtually been impossible to instill the kind of fear we once could when children believed in danger lurking under the bed or in the woods. I’d like to have some of you share your experience. Krampus, let’s begin with you.”

“My main activities are at Christmastime, of course, but since they made a movie supposedly based on me, I’ve become practically invisible! Kids don’t believe! Not in me, anyway. I’ve gone Hollywood, which is the equivalent of being a joke.”

“Tell me about it,” La Llorona, the woman who drowned her children for a man, then drowned herself when he spurned her, spoke. “I’ve had more movies interfere with my credibility than I’d ever imagined possible!  Don’t they know what they’re doing to us?”

It was Black Annis’ turn. “None of you have had to compete with a certain wizard the way I have. I take that back. I’m not sure at this point how many translations exist. All I know is I hate that little lightning headed fiction.”

This provoked a round of nods and whispered affirmation.

Boogeyman also nodded. “So, do we have a consensus? Something needs to be done. Ideas? Metminwi?”

“In Haiti, we see the same indifference described here. Children roam the streets at night, too many to deal with. I am but one boogeyman. So, I would suggest we try something different this year.  The cages above are filled with our individual offerings. I suggest we let them return to their families.”

“What?” The Jersey Devil, known for his ghastly scream, grabbed everyone’s attention. “Why?”

Metminwi displayed a gristly grin. “We’ll give them something to take back with them. Proof.”

Morko, the Finlandian blue ghost, bared his giant sharp teeth. “I get it! They spread the word, and our prospects improve once there’s no dispute that we do exist!”  

Boogeyman turned to Metminwi. “What sort of proof did you have in mind?”

Lamia spoke before Metminwi could.

“A sacrifice.”

Metminwi nodded. “Yes, and with thirty witnesses.”

Baubas, the Lithuanian spirit who harassed children that misbehaved by pulling their hair with wrinkly fingers at the end of her spindly arms, smiled, her red eyes glowing. 

“Gerai! Good!”

Boogeyman turned his attention to Lamia.

“I would imagine you have something for us in that great Book of Shadows you stand before?” 

“Indeed I do. I wouldn’t deviate from tradition; I don’t believe it’s necessary. I already have the circle prepared with all that’s required. I have extra daggers in case any of you need one.”

Aobozu scoffed. “We have our swords of the Samurai, Namahage and I, at the ready.”

Boogeyman nodded.  

“Well done, as always.  Now, how do we determine the sacrificial lamb? Who should have the honor?”

Lamia again spoke with authority and a wicked grin. “Oh, I have just the one.”

She pointed, and then gasped.

Susie’s cage was empty, the wooden door swung open.

Boogeyman spoke.  “Are all the children still sedated? Can any tell us what happened?”

“I don’t need them to tell me what happened.” Lamia’s serpentine tongue flicked and her eyes glowed with anger. “Listen to me, all of you.”

* * *

“Why are you helping me, Larry? Won’t you be in danger now?”

“Don’t worry about me, Susie. I have my own methods.”

“Why don’t you come with me?”

“I wouldn’t belong, Susie. But thank you. We may meet again. Now, go!”

The little girl knelt and spread her arms. The cat ran and jumped into them, resting his head on her shoulder. He savored the sweet pleasure of the love of a child.  She released him and he released her.

“Now, go.”

* * *

“Susie, wake up!  Is this where you’ve been the whole time? We were sick with worry!”

“I must have fallen asleep. I must have . . .”  The girl looked around, urgently, as if she’d forgotten something of great importance.

Her father took her into his arms, a surprise.

“When I thought we’d lost you . . .”

Susie felt all the love she’d been craving and began to cry, just a little. The moment reminded her of something she couldn’t remember.

“I’m sorry I worried you, daddy. I won’t do it again.”

Her mother knelt beside her and touched her cheek. “Well, if you don’t mind, I won’t be letting you out of my sight for a while.”

“Fine with me.”

“Who’s this now? Have you made a friend?”

“Was it your snoring that attracted him, you think?”

Susie turned around and saw a black cat with yellow eyes and a white diamond on his forehead peeking from behind a boulder. 

“I know that cat.”

 Susie got up and approached the animal that didn’t take his eyes off her. She knelt before him.

“I know you. I’m not sure how but . . .”

The cat was purring. Susie reached out a hand. The cat came to her.  That was all she needed.

“Does he have a tag, anything?” Her mother asked.

Susie checked.

“No. Can I . . .”

Her father smiled. “Let’s get in the car and we’ll talk about it.” 

Susie gathered the cat in her arms and was delighted when he continued to purr and nestled against her. She looked into his eyes.

“That means yes.”

THE END