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CONTEST ENDED – Thank you for submitting your stories!

Write a story around someone (literally) bumping into someone else.

Posted in Funny on May 3, 2024

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✍️ 54 stories

“Oh, My! Are We About to Get in a Fight?” by Daniel Rogers

Submitted to Contest #249

No one would argue that watching is essential when on night watch. That's why it's called night watch instead of night play-around. However, a couple of magical tree stumps guarding the eastern edge of Trungen Forest weren't watching while on night watch."Alright, do that again, but this time with your eyes closed," Splinter said. He was four feet, taller than most stumpers, with a carved beard and a small crack in the middle of his forehead."Are you going to?" Tat asked. Carved from a tree used by lovers to display their undying love, he ha...

27 comments 27
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“Luso Style” by Hazel Ide

Submitted to Contest #249

I recall the feeling of slow-motion horror as her shopping cart collided with mine. The metal-on-metal clang reverberated into my hands, sending a nerve-pulsing buzz up my fingertips into my shoulders, jarring my head back in surprise. The shopping cart's cumbersome size locked me in between that old 'Tuga and the cereal aisle.She sneered, a surprisingly intimidating feat considering she's all of five feet, but the memory of the finger-pointing is what brought me back to the present.I adjust the cold bag of peas on my face, groaning as the b...

35 comments 35
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“LIKE A FLY WITHOUT A HEAD” by Darvico Ulmeli

Submitted to Contest #249

Stepping from the tram three stops before work, I embarked on my daily quest for a purple rose, a token for a special someone. Red roses are too simple for me; everybody buys them for their loved ones. I don't want to be like anybody else. With determination in my stride, I set out, scanning the streets for the elusive flower shop.The morning air was crisp, energizing my steps as I weaved through the crowd. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and blooming flowers wafted through the bustling street, invigorating my senses. Pedestrians hurried ...

27 comments 27
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“Socialism” by Daryl Kulak

Submitted to Contest #249

***Foul language throughout***Tiff left the bar and walked with Angie to their vehicles."You okay to drive?""I'm fine," Tiff said."Okay, take care, babe," Angie swiveled on her boots and strode back to her own pickup.Tiff clicked her key fob and hopped up into her SUV. At only ten-thirty, it was awfully early to end the night. Angie was such a party pooper, always had to be up before dawn the next day. Tiff put the truck into gear and spun gravel in a half-circle before heading down the road to the Dutchie's, another local bar she went to of...

8 comments 8
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“Arising From the Ashes” by E.L. Lallak

Submitted to Contest #249

The sterile scent of the tattoo parlor clashed with the distinct aroma of wet ink and anxiety. I shoved a piece of trident in my mouth to conceal the shots I threw down my throat to calm my nerves in the car on the way. As we walked through the door of the parlor, Jazz's foot caught on the edge of the carpet, causing her to stumble forward. "Damn thing was rolled weird," she said, giggling. I gave her the look of death. She shrugged it off, her usual carefree attitude shining through despite the nervous energy in the room. The buzzing tattoo...

9 comments 9
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“The Ripple Effect” by Ty Warmbrodt

Submitted to Contest #249

Hartman’s Diner is a busy place due to their a la carte breakfast. People fill the joint to fill their plates with as much of whatever they want in any combination they want. It keeps the servers on their toes and the cooks run ragged on normal days. Today is not a normal day. It is the first day of the county fair. Families are here to fill their bellies before a day filled with entertainment. There could not have been a worse day possible for Becky to have called in with a family emergency. Usually, Becky handles the counter while Maria an...

9 comments 9
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“The Best Beau Ever” by Marty B

Submitted to Contest #249

“patio of Awaken Cafe- I’ll be wearing a hat - see you at noon!’ Joanna re-read the brief text message, looking for some further clue. A mustachioed man bumped her slightly as he walked past. Joanna appreciated his well cut suit, his mincing precise steps, and his unfortunately bare, well coiffed head Zach, Mr. Right, her rest-of-life partner, and future husband, would be waiting for her. That seemed like enough information yesterday, but now looking from the Awaken Cafe door out into the patio, filled with people at small met...

13 comments 13
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“Love Isn’t Just Blind, It’s Ludicrous” by Michael Jefferson

Submitted to Contest #249

Jammed like a pickled sardine on the express train to 14th Street with thousands of other commuters, Ryan Random knows there is more to life than assembling computer components and drinking mochaccinos with his co-worker. As platforms and people flash by in a dizzying blur, Ryan closes his eyes, his mind conjuring up a cozy villa in Greece with a passing stream surrounded by fig trees and grape leaves. Standing in front of the villa, her features a misty blur is a woman. Opening his eyes, Ryan finds himself next to a grey-haired old man no t...

6 comments 6
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“A Lion's Tale” by LeeAnn Hively

Submitted to Contest #249

“I was a perfectly well-behaved child.” It always made me laugh when Ruslan would say such a thing sincerely and with a straight face, as if he believed the words that flowed from his mouth. While staring at nothing at all, he would scrunch up his eyes a bit, as if maybe looking hard enough would allow him to see more details. Then he’d recount another story, a narrative of a childhood claimed to be filled with innocence and commendable virtue.It was especially hot that summer, a year that leapt directly from winter into summer and skipped s...

7 comments 7
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“The Baader-Meinhof Girl” by Brian Haddad

Submitted to Contest #249

Kevin didn't believe in coincidences. His heart, however, wanted to believe. He could feel his pulse throbbing throughout his entire body. Even his fingertips seemed to be twitching to the beat of his spooked nervous system. He hadn't gotten out of bed that morning expecting anything, but seeing Sarah at the grocery store was a spectacular surprise.A bolt of lightning jolted through his chest. She was looking right at him. His scalp tightened and a cold sweat beaded up along his brow. He winced. It was supposed to be a smile. He tried again....

8 comments 8
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“Excerpt from Soju and Other Bad Decisions” by Brittany Dang

Submitted to Contest #249

Sadie discovered a small café tucked into one of the corners of the expansive lobby on her second day at the hotel. It may have gone entirely unnoticed if not for her confusion while looking for the breakfast room the day before. She is once again grateful for her terrible sense of direction, as it sometimes leads to fortunate encounters. She hadn’t yet visited it, of course, due to her current financial limitations, but the deposit from her sister finally hit her account and she felt she deserved a little treat after such a tumultuous night...

12 comments 12
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“Sidewalk Collision, Manhattan” by Peter Wallace

Submitted to Contest #249

Sidewalk Collision, Manhattan                “You should apologize, you know.”               Sandra gathered her purse and her books from the ground where she knelt in the snow. Of all the places to fall down she was in Midtown Manhattan with thousands of people watching.                “Oh. Alright. I’m very sorry I was...

6 comments 6
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“Gangstalene” by Kathryn Fitzsimmons

Submitted to Contest #249

It was move-in day, freshman year of college, 1994. My room was the first door on the left, in a long, dark hallway with spotty fluorescent lighting and dingy brown carpet, threadbare in patches where coeds had tread since the early 70s. My roommate was a wisp of a human, a lean cross country runner who had taken up residence the week prior, due to early arrival for all fall athletes. My parents and I hauled in a foot locker, duffle bags, pillows, lamps, and a microwave just large enough for heating up ramen. They gawked at the boys entering...

7 comments 7
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“Bump and Jump” by Becky Blanton

Submitted to Contest #249

"Get ready to jump," Smyth purred. The young demon next to him shivered with excitement."Do I just jump on their back, or grab an arm?" he asked nervously."Whatever, just make sure your grasp is firm," Smyth said. "Get your hooks in them when you land."After seventeen centuries of training new entities, he was getting tired of the same old questions. Didn't anyone listen to his introductory talks about possession of the living?Halfway down the sidewalk an elderly woman and her young companion strolled slowly towards them. The elderly tended ...

6 comments 6
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“Soulmates” by Madison Head

Submitted to Contest #249

Our teacher explained it to me on the first day of 3rd grade. As two kids introduced themselves, we all saw the words appear on their arms. It was uncommon for it to happen to kids so young, so our parents hadn’t prepared us for it. We were told that the universe worked in a special way to help us find our true love. Whenever two soulmates spoke to each other for the first time, the first words they said would appear on the other’s arm. Of course, as children, we spent the next two weeks talking to random people and checking our arms to see ...

2 comments 2
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