ATRG #3: Kama's First Mission

“My f-first mission?”

I started panicking a little. I had just got here! What kind of things do they even do?”

“Don’t worry, Kama. You're in good hands. Since you are new to the team, I’ll have four people accompany you. Here's how it works: you go out with special suits Sasori designed, and go to the spot we want you to go to. Since the scientists have definitely given you a power, you’re safe from- hopefully- most of the dangers. After you get the item or person that Itachi has located that might be useful to us, you come back, and me or Zetsu treat any injuries you might have! Any questions?”

Konan smiled warmly at me. I felt a little bit better.

“A-alright then.”

She turned to the group of boys.

“Kama is going to go on her first mission. I will pick who goes.”

All eyes immediately turned to her. 

“Don’t worry about your first mission! None of use ever fucking died! And they aren’t even immortal!”

“Hidan, you're only going to make Kama feel worse!”

In spite of myself, I grinned.

“It’s fine, Konan.”

Konan opened her mouth, then shut it.

“So. The people that are going: Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, and Kakuzu.”

Deidara whooped. I noticed that he was sitting on Sasori’s lap.

Gray groaned. 

“Why am I not coming? I brought Kama here!”

“I have a job for you! Itachi, get the suits ready. Kisame, ready the emergency supplies. Let’s go.”

My stomach was writhing around and ready to come out of my mouth, and I was sweating an ocean. Emergency supplies? 

Deidara noticed my discomfort, and walked over to me.

“It’s going to be fine, un. Konan knows what she’s doing.”

I somehow managed the swallow and nod. He gently pushed me to the door.

Somewhere in front of us, I heard a bang and Sasori muttering “Son of a-”

Hidan poked his head out the slightly broken door frame.

“I can’t really be a fucking ballerina with a damn scythe on my back, you know?”

“I did not ask you to be one!”

Itachi pulled his head out of the doorframe. 

“Hurry up!”

“Shove it, Itachi.”

Hidan stomped into the room with all the suits ready, aiming a kick at one of them. Kakuzu wordlessly blocked the push, then whispered something in Hidan’s ear. I watched in shock as Hidan immediately calmed down.

“Are you going to get in the suit, or what?”

Sasori had appeared behind my back.

I blushed, embarrassed.

Stepping into the light suit, it closed automatically around my shoulders, legs, and head. It felt like another layer of skin.

“Move, for god’s sake!” screamed Sasori.

“Alright, alright!”

Itachi pushed a button. I waved goodbye.

We shoot out of a tube, into the slimy word outside.

“Where were we going?” I asked Deidara.

It was Kakuzu who replied.

“South park, into an abandoned library. Itachi found a book that can help us.”

He then moved closer to Hidan.

Deidara and Sasori were arguing about art.

I felt oddly lonely, for some reason, as South Park came into view.

Maybe because they were all partners.

Or because I was new.

Then I saw the abandoned library. My forgotten nerves had returned.

“Holy mother of Satan's left ear.”

Hidan softly sent a prayer to Jashin.

The door was half on the ground, half trying to fly to Jupiter. Of course, the roof was missing.

“Guess the monster didn’t really care about this place...:” Deidara trailed off.

Kakuzu gingerly tried to climb into the library. The whole front wall almost collapsed.

Most of us followed, with the expectation of Deidara. He had turned paper white. Sasori went back to confront him.

“Wait for me.” 

We went in.

“Alright, you two. Search this place quickly. We are looking for a book called Weather.”

“Kakuzu, do you expect us to find a book in this old fucking heriloom?”

Kakuzu ignored him.

I went around the spinning book table, across the miles of bookshelves, up and down the stairs, into a public restroom for some reason, down the hallway, and had not found it.

I went up the stairs again, when I heard footsteps. Not gentle but hard footsteps, like Kakuzu, not loud and energetic, like Hidan’s, but just soft, and smooth ones.

Freezing, I suppressed the desire to scream. Instead I looked around the corner…

And almost fainted from relief.

Deidara and Sasori were creeping along the corner.

“Sasori oh danna… this place is scary….”

“Shit! How are we going to find Kakuzu?”

“Don’t worry, I’m here!”

I stepped out of the place I’ve been crouching.

Sasori’s face color returned to normal.

“Finally! Kama, I’m so glad to see you!”

Deidara perked up too.

We walked all over the place, until Sasori found a puppet book, and deposited Deidara(who he had been clinging to for the last couple of minutes) next to a bookcase. I sat down too, exhausted. Then I saw Deidara fingering a book.

Glancing at it, I read the title.

Weather: A book by Bluebell Mistletoe

“Omigod, Deidara! YOU FOUND THE BOOK WE NEEDED!”

Deidara almost dropped the book. Sasori dropped his book and rushed to Deidara.

“YOU DID IT! YOU FUCKING FOUND IT!”

I heard thumping coming from upstairs, and suddenly Hidan barreled into the room, practically dragging Kakuzu into the room.

“FUCKING JASHIN! DEIDARA, YOU ACTUALLY FOUND IT!”

In Hidan’s excitement, he hugged Kakuzu. After a moment, Kakuzu also hugged him.

I started breakdancing because I was so happy.

Deidara screamed too. He was literally strangling Sasori, and in the spur of the moment, Sasori kissed Deidara.

Deidara kissed back.

I literally almost melted. They were so cute together!

This adorable moment was broken when the wall caved in.

A roar echoed through the library. The slime knew that we would come here.

It was a trap.

Sasori grabbed Deidara and used one of his puppets to vault over the fallen wall with him.

Hidan was staring at the thing that would kill us all if we didn’t move.

“Fucking hell.” Muttered Hidan. “RUN, YOU DUMBA-“ Sasori screamed at Hidan, already sprinting. That seemed to wake Hidan up. He took off, with me following, Kakuzu at the back.

“DON’T FUCKING DIE!” 

As if I didn’t know that.

We tried to get back to headquarters as fast as possible, but then Hidan’s late start proved to be a fatal thing. He was sucked into the slime, with only his hands out.

Faster than humanly possible, one of Kakuzu’s demon-heart things soared out of his body, and pulled Hidan out. He was a sickly yellow color. The slime bellowed as the heart spewed fire at it.

“Thank god…” I muttered, realizing how fast we were going in the suits.

The tunnel opened again, and Sasori, half carrying Deidara, Kakuzu, full carrying Hidan, and me slid back it and finally I saw the vanishing door.

Kakuzu urgently rushed through the door, with me, Sasori, and Deidara going in. The slime banged against the wall, but couldn’t get in.

Deidara did an obscure gesture at it. Sasori half smiled, then looked at me.

“We should see how Hidan’s doing, right? He looked sick…”

I felt my throat closing.

In the meeting room, I saw Zetsu leaning over Hidan with herbs and medicine, Konan trying to calm down Kakuzu, and no Kisame, Itachi, or Gray.

“H-how is he?” I asked Zetsu.

He looked at me though black, emotionless eyes.

“He isn’t breathing.”

Wow! I thought I would never get this out!

Sorry about the swearing. It just fit Hidan.

I do not own any of the characters expect Gray and Kama.

Pls no judge about the LGBTQ+ :D: