Heart of a Middle Aged Lesbian

There were 10 different emotions running through Ryven all at once. She was scared of rejection. She was elated at the thought of spending any kind of time with this girl at all. She was anxious at the bleak thought of spending the rest of her life in a ridiculous state of unrequited love. She was calm about her feelings for her, but she was still angry she even had those kind of feelings for this woman. She was curious about what lay ahead, but already knew she'd never allow herself out of the friend zone whether she had an oppurtunity or not.

9 o clock pm was the time set for Ryven and Lori to go out on their "date". It was nothing really. Lori had looked about down recently so Ry asked her...it was more friendish than anything. Because that's all Ry can be with her. She wants so so so much more...but she just can't. In fact she probably never would have even let her mind wander in that direction...except Lori's enthusiasm was way more potent than that of someone going on a friendish date. And this completely stalled Ry's brain...cause wth does she do now?

It was 8:55 pm and Ryven can't help but checkle at how nervous she was to "pick up" this particular date when she literally just had to walk across the hallway and knock on Lori's bedroom door to ask if she was ready. I'm stupid, Ryven thought. Its just Lori.

It took 7 whole seconds for Ryven to pick her jaw up off the floor when Lori exited her bedroom. Instead of donning her normal atire of jeans and a tank top Lori was wearing jeans...but jeans that showed off every curve. And of course the tank top was on....but a light jacket lay draped over top of it. Her hair was down and straightened. But most notably, what stopped Ryven dead in her tracks was noticing Lori did not have her contacts in. Her blue eyes pierced right through her shirt and into her heart. But the hypnotism was short lived and our girl became functional once again.

In 6 short strides Ryven closed the gap between then confidently but then pulled up short. She and Lori are too close. She can't risk it. Lori appears to have noticed Ry's hesitation though and attempts to finish closing the gap herself by grabbing her hand and asking her if she's ready. Without warning heat shoots up Ry's arm and lands in her chest. The tighter Lori held her hand the warmer it became.

It only took 5 short minutes for Lori to fall head over heels in love with Ryven. She was a little scared. She had never been with a girl before but guys were not working for her, and Ry is the sweetest and sexiest lesbian she had ever met...and she gets her. They just mesh together. She really never had any desire to be with a female...but Ry is just Ry...and God did she love her. She just didn't feel like Ryven really liked her like that. It bothered her that she felt like Ryven viewed her as a bratty sister type. She wanted her to see her as a woman. But she couldn't tell her that. She could only hope that Ry would make a move...cause she just can't.

On a 4 hour date Lori only let go of Ryven's hand 2.5 times: 1) twice to go to the ladies room .5) when Ryven put her arm around her instead at the movies. Ry's confidence was not improved by this. She was convinced Lori just needed her friend.

3 times Lori tried to get Ry to kiss her. And 3 times Ry second guessed herself at the last second. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew Lori looked at her as some weird brother/sister type and the last thing she wanted was to over step boundaries and offend a woman she loved so deeply she was willing to never express this to her just so the girl never has to complicate her life.

It took 2 tries for Lori to work up the courage to press her lips to Ryven's without warning. When she succeeded, Ry appeared to turn to jelly the moment their lips made contact. She was mid sentence when BAM...the moment she had waited for...that was impossible to ever happen...just literally smacked her in the face. Lori had soft lips. They glided over Ryven's like a figure skater on the ice. Her heart all but exploded. It was the sweetest, purest kiss she had ever experianced in her 40 years. Her senses were going crazy. Everything seemed brighter and louder. More vibraint. When the kiss broke everything remained more vivid...but the fog cleared from Ryven's brain and she knew what she had to do.

The was only 1 way this could turn out and Ryven was already kicking herself for thinking this could never happen so she was careless. It was stupid to ask Lori on a date. She's going to do nothing but muck up her life and lose her in the end. Then Lori said "I'm sorry. I guess somehow I didn't think you'd actually reject me. I just thought you were too polite to make a move. Ryven was dumb founded completely. She responded slowly, as if the words were foreign to her. "You really think I rejected you? You kissed me and made me go stupid. But you're like almost family...and I'm no good for you really....." Right then Ryven cut her off. "Its really ok. I wasn't really into it either I think I just thought you were as bored as I was." She laughed like everything was hysterical and turned around to walk in the house. "I kind of thought so," Ryven said with a fake chuckle. Then they both went to their respective rooms...completely heartbroken.