Heist at the Royal Ontario Museum

I've been coming to evening events at the Royal Ontario Museum since I started university. They're always packed with people. Packed with witnesses. It's almost impossible to do what I've been planning to do for years. But this time is different.

This time, there's a snowstorm keeping most of the guests from attending. But for some reason the event planners didn't use the weather as an excuse to cancel the masquerade gala.

I'm wearing a red floor-length ballgown. On my face, I'm sporting a glittery full-face mask that has feathers on the forehead. It's completely impractical for most crimes, but for tonight it is perfect for what I intend to do.

Security rummaged through my bag and the pockets of my coat for safety reasons. They swiped a metal detector over the rest of me. Little do they know that my wood, bone, and plastic tools aren't detectable with a metal detector. I hid them in secret pockets sewn into the skirt of my gown.

I've been using after hours events to case this joint for years. I know every nook. Every cranny. Every hiding place. Every exhibit. And I know how to steal them and replace them with replicas undetected.

First, I go to the second floor dinosaur exhibit and I grab myself a drink. Most of the guests who actually made it here are in the basement looking at the new limited time exhibits.

I have the place to myself.

It's an unnerving feeling, but if I can get rid of the guards near my target, there will be no witnesses.

You see, down the hall from the dinosaurs, there is an Earth's Treasures exhibit. And in that exhibit, there are plenty of shiny things to swipe.

I finish my drink and walk through the dinosaur exhibit, taking my sweet time. I have all night and the longer I wait, the less likely it is the guards will catch me.

I walk to the bathroom and when I'm in a stall, I take the tools from my gown and put them in my handbag.

I go back to grab another drink, then I stop by a food table and grab a plate of food. I pick at some hors-d'oeuvres as I pass through the hall of dinosaurs and stare at the fossils. If I had the resources, I'd be happy to pilfer them, but the gems are easier to hide.

After an hour or so, I move into the Earth's Treasures exhibit. I walk up to the guard.

"Hey, some guys hopped the fence in the dinosaur exhibit. They're using the triceratops' ribs as a xylophone. I couldn't find a guard in there..."

He's off before I can finish my lie, which means I have about three minutes. I take the tools out of my handbag and I'm about to get to work when I take a good look at the sapphire I'm about to steal.

It's a fake.

The sapphire is a fake.

I put the tools away and look at the other gems.

They're all fakes! Someone beat me to them.

"Looking for this?" someone says.

I turn and scowl right in her dumb, smug, arrogant, gorgeous face.

I know this woman. And she's holding up the sapphire I had come to steal with a mischievous look on her masked face. Her golden mask covers the top half of her face and it leaves her delicious, deceitful ruby lips exposed.

"You look beautiful tonight, Jolene. That glare you're giving me really compliments your outfit."

"What do you want, Isabelle?"

She walks closer to me and raises her hand. She caresses my mask before she takes it off.

"I want to send you on a little... treasure hunt. I'm sure you've guessed it by now, but the gems in the cases are fakes. I've hidden three of the real ones in different areas of the ROM. I have your number from our last... rendezvous."

"A treasure hunt? I'm not five."

"If you find all the gems, I'll let you keep them and I'll give you the sapphire."

"What's the catch?"

She smiles, "I get to use the money I make off the rest of them to take you on a real date."

"A date? After what you--"

The guard comes back before I can finish protesting. She kisses my cheek and hands me my mask back.

"I'll text you the first clue soon."

She leaves before I can say anything else. She's wearing a floor-length black-and-gold dress, but I can't spot her when I leave the exhibit.

I think about the last time I saw her as I put my mask back on.

Three years ago, she left me in the middle of the night when the police busted down my door. We had never had a proper date, but we spent almost every night for six months together. We never talked about work. Turns out we're both thieves. The cops found nothing, so I was never charged with anything, but she never returned to me. And I never got into another relationship after she left.

I walk back to the dinosaurs when I get a one-emoji text from a number I deleted but know by heart. It's Isabelle's number. I must have texted it a thousand times after she disappeared but she never replied. And I must have thought about texting and calling her ten thousand times.

It's the poop emoji.

After three years the first text she sends me is the poop emoji? I want to laugh. I want to cry. I want to yell at her. I want to hold her in my arms again.

I need to stay on task if I want to see any profit from tonight.

Poop. Where can I find poop in the museum? The toilets? No. Too easy for someone else to find it and there are too many bathrooms for me to find it before the night is over.

No... so where else is there poop?

The coprolite.

The first gem is in the coprolite. It's fossilized dinosaur poop.

I walk over to it and, sure enough, hidden in a little crevice under the coprolite, the first gem, a topaz, is waiting for me.

I hold it in my hand until I've moved away from any potential witnesses. When I'm far enough away, I slip it into the subway token pouch I keep in my handbag.

I grab another drink and I wander through the biodiversity exhibit. All is quiet.

My phone buzzes.

Another clue.

"This gem came from the water, but now it waits for you somewhere warm and dry."

Somewhere warm and dry... Somewhere with a desert. I start in the Africa exhibit which is also quiet. The emptiness of the museum is still unnerving to me. I go through every inch of the exhibit, then I move on to Nubia, then finally Egypt.

I pause to glance at the pre-dynastic natural mummy for a moment to pay my respects to her. I whisper the names of each named mummy as I pass them. So far I'm empty-handed, then I walk into the replica tomb. Wedged into a hole between the bricks is a large pearl. I lean on that wall and swipe the gem. When I'm sure I won't get caught, I wrap it in a tissue to keep it from getting scratched, then I put it with the other gem.

I grab some more food.

I get another text when I'm finished eating.

"Waiting in plain sight, a hidden gem awaits. You're warned not to touch me but lax security makes it easy bait. Cut in half and glittering, I'm waiting to be seen. Come find the gem I've hidden here and you will be my queen."

I mull over the poem for a little bit. She always did have a knack for bad poetry.

Waiting in plain sight... So the gem must be the same colour as the place where it's hidden.

You're warned not to touch me...

But lax security makes me easy bait... so unlike the other two hiding places, it's something we're not supposed to touch, but it's easy to get away with it. That rules out a lot of possibilities.

Cut in half and glittering...

I know where it is. And she's sneaky to have hidden it there. I walk back down the stairs and come to the entrance of the Earth's Treasures exhibit. A giant amethyst geode is right there by the entrance with a no touching sign, but no security and no real barrier. I scan it with my eyes.

I don't see the gem.

Could I have been wrong?

Could someone have noticed it before I did?

I look around the back of the geode.

Nothing.

I check for anyone who might be watching, then I put my hands on the geode.

One crystal seems loose. I dislodge it with ease. It blended in with the amethyst, but it's not an amethyst. It's a purple spinel.

I walk to the bathroom and I hide the spinel with the other gems. Then I empty my tokens into my purse so they won't trip any metal detectors if I carry the pouch on my person. I slip the pouch full of gems into a secret zippered pocket of my dress without detection.

I get another text.

"A place of hearing."

The auditorium. There are talks going on all night.

I walk all the way down to the ground floor and I go to the auditorium.

Will she be there waiting for me? Or will she disappear, making it seem that she was never here at all?

I'm more nervous about seeing her than I was about stealing the gems.

I sit down. There's an envelope with my name on it in the empty seat beside me. I'm a fool. Of course she wouldn't be here in person.

I open the envelope and see a brilliant sapphire and a note.

"Jolene, meet me tomorrow night at the best view in the city,

-Isabelle."

The lecture begins as I shove the envelope and its contents into my purse. I'll see Isabelle tomorrow night at the top of the CN Tower.