20 comments

Crime Teens & Young Adult

“Goodbyyyyye!” the last drunken party-goer called. She stumbled to the car her friend waited in, leaving two teenagers alone with each other. Lux waved slightly as the car pulled away.

“Well, let’s go inside,” Lux said, cheerful despite the circumstances. Harlow rolled her eyes, and walked inside; Lux scrambled after her. They shuffled into the messy party room. Harlow grabbed a trash bag when Lux tapped her shoulder.

“Hey, Har?”

“Don’t call me that!” Harlow snapped, shoving him.

---

“Look, Mother! I’m flying!” young Harlow shouted. Her mother, Asa, smiled from the shade of a willow tree, its drooping leaves touching her head.

“That’s great, Har. One day, your dad and I will take you on an adventure, and we’ll fly in a big airplane!” Asa fantasized. Harlow’s father lowered his daughter back to the ground, sweating.

“Your momma’s right, Sweet Pea. We’re gonna take you all over the world, and back again,” Cale, the father, beamed. Harlow started racing around the yard, yelling about how “totally amazing” the trip would be.

Little did she know, that dream would never come true.

---

“Jeez! I didn’t know, okay? I was just wondering if you wanted to listen to some music so this’ll go by faster?” Lux said. Harlow sighed. She didn’t want to be violent--she wanted to master control over her anger, but it was difficult.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to. Sure,” she mumbled. Lux pulled an iPhone 12 out of his pocket, then clicked buttons before a rap playlist began.

“Are you a rich kid or something? Only rich kids have the newest phones. I have an eight still.” Harlow looked in awe at Lux’s shiny cell.

“A gift from my Aunt Lori. She’s that big investor on Shark Tank. Ever watched it?” Lux sat his phone down on a clear spot in the sea of trash.

“Nope. I have no idea who she is. Must have lots of money to get her nephew a phone like that, though.” Harlow seemed to drift off, her eyes distant as if daydreaming about being wealthy. She gradually came back to reality.

“Well, watch an episode of Shark Tank some time. It’s kinda cool.” Lux looked around. “Let’s get cleaning. I heard that the owner of this place is mean if it’s a pigsty.”

“Right,” Harlow agreed.

---

Harlow stepped into her parents’ bedroom, automatically shocked. Clothes were strewn across the bed, drawers open, and what looked like Asa’s makeup was all over the nightstand. A pigsty, as Cale would’ve called it.

“Mommy?” Harlow called. She only called her mother “Mommy” when scared, or knew that something was wrong. In this case, it was both.

“Shut up, you little pipsqueak!”

A stout man with a molded frown and gelled hair strutted out of the bathroom, a gun hanging dangerously from his belt. His jeans were torn and faded, his ugly shirt unbuttoned. Harlow noted that he was shoeless. On the man’s back was a backpack that seemed to be stuffed as much as possible.

“Who… who are you? Where are my… my mommy and daddy?” Harlow stuttered. The intruder cackled as if it were the most preposterous question he’d ever heard, but what would you expect from a six-year-old?

“Your mommy and daddy went far, far away.” His voice mocked Harlow. “My partner’s probably got them to Mexico by now. And, you, little child, will never see them again. And, if you don’t cooperate, I, Dolan Reddack, will kill you, too. Okay?” Dolan’s voice was domineering. He walked closer to Harlow, his hand on his gun.

Harlow didn’t understand some of the words that the man spoke, but she nodded nonetheless. She could understand enough that if she knew if she didn’t agree, something bad would happen.

“Alright then. Easier than I thought. Let’s go,” Dolan ordered. He grabbed Harlow’s forearm, holding tight, and led her out of the house.

---

“Wait. You’re telling me that you went to Broadway and saw Hamilton? Ten times?!” Harlow exclaimed. She stopped mopping to look in awe at her cleaning partner.

“Uh, yeah. Why?” Lux shrugged it off as if it wasn’t important or completely awesome. He was used to going to grand events such as musicals.

“Do you not understand how amazing that is?! Tickets for Broadway are super expensive. And, Hamilton is one of the best musicals I’ve ever seen. Of course, it’s the only one I’ve ever seen… but that’s beside the point! Next time you go, let me know so I can sneak in with you.”

Lux rolled his eyes at Harlow but chuckled all the same. Seeing the way her eyes lit up as she talked warmed Lux’s heart. Normally, Harlow kept to herself and only spoke when spoken to. Lux had always wanted to talk to Harlow but was too scared.

“Better yet, I’ll get you a ticket. No trickery required.” Lux grinned slightly. Harlow beamed back at him, then continued her work.

Just a short time later, with the Hamilton soundtrack playing, there was a loud bang!

Gunshot.

Bang!

Another one.

“Don’t. Make. A. Sound. Hide,” Harlow whispered. Lux’s face paled; he shuffled to the closet and got inside, closing the door behind him. Harlow turned the music off, then stepped into the other room, leaving the door open just a crack.

The only sound Harlow heard was the pounding of her heart in her chest. She breathed heavily. The last time someone invaded the building she was in, things did not go well.

---

“Alright, pipsqueak. Go talk to that cashier about anything. Unicorns, rainbows, cake, whatever. Distract him. Understand?” Dolan sneered. Harlow nodded slightly. For the past three and a half weeks, Dolan had been training the young child to do his bidding. Harlow hated the exercises (lying, shooting guns, and more) that were forced upon her, but she knew that obeying meant living.

“Yes, sir,” Harlow replied. She walked into the jewelry store, putting on her “I’m an innocent child” face.

“Excuse me? Do you like horses?” Harlow asked the cashier. The young man looked down at her.

“Horses? They’re okay. Not my favorite, but yeah. Where’re your parents?” The cashier looked around, hoping to spot an adult. Dolan was hidden, though, away from prying eyes.

“I think horses are awesome! My grandma has horsies on her farm. They let me pet them.”

Harlow continued to distract the poor employee while Dolan snatched three pieces of fine jewelry. He took the necessary precautions to make sure he wasn’t caught, then tucked the precious items into his coat. Dolan went to the counter and picked up Harlow.

“I’m so sorry! Harlow is always wandering around, getting lost! I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.” Dolan’s lies came easily to him.

“Oh, no trouble at all. Have a great day,” the cashier said.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Harlow winced as Dolan cackled.

---

“Go backstage. There’s a whole bunch of equipment that we can ‘borrow’.” A short, rich-looking, overweight man waltzed into the room as if he owned the place. His partner in crime followed close behind. The pair held big duffel bags.

“Alright, boss,” the tall man said, scurrying off. 

“If anybody’s here, come out now! We ain’t gonna hurt you. I wanna work with you, as long as you don’t go to the police!” The short one walked around the room, scanning everything with his eyes.

That was the moment Harlow recognized him.

“Dolan!” she cried. The door immediately flung open, and standing there was her former captor. His yellow eyes blazed into hers.

“Well, well, well. Little Harlow Brodkin. I remember when you were running around, agreeing with anything I said. You were happy. That can happen again,” Dolan stated. He grinned, but it was sinister.

“Like I would ever go back to you,” Harlow scoffed. She dashed past Dolan, but he grabbed her by her shirt before she could get away.

“You should’ve never run away the first time,” Dolan whispered.

Bang! Bang!

“Harlow!” Lux screamed.

Then, all was black.

May 21, 2021 14:39

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20 comments

Maraika!!! 😎
17:09 Sep 10, 2021

Hey I meant to read this forever ago and I'm so sorry for taking so long! Anyways, The first line was such a good hook to draw in the reader. I was just scrolling by some stories and I saw the begining of it and was like wow this is so intresting! I love the use of flashbacks and the flow of the story. My only thought is that I wished I coud've gotten to know Harlow (great name btw) better! Her character was super intresting and It would've been cool to see what it's like for her. Great story and sorry again for taking so long! Maraik...

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Mazie Gray
16:32 Sep 11, 2021

Hi! It's okay! Thank you so very much! :D

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Maraika!!! 😎
06:01 Aug 26, 2021

I'm just liking this so I can find it again and read it. I need to stop procastnating and write my own story so I'm saving this for later

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Mazie Gray
20:47 Aug 26, 2021

Okay, sounds good!

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Kat Mordaunt
16:00 Aug 15, 2021

WHAT JUST HAPPENED MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED NO NO NO WHYYYYYYYYY (maniacal laughter that makes my dog look at me like I'm an insane weirdo which tbh I probably am) AKA it was amazinggggggggggg 10/10, 5 stars, I can't think of any other ways to measure epicness rn... anyway you get my point the end was so sad!!!!!!!!! 😭 I told my friend about it and she cried even though my explanation was extremely less epic than actually reading it, and then she went and read it and then she screamed and cried- ya she's weird this is long I'm gonna finish ...

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Mazie Gray
11:39 Aug 16, 2021

XD I appreciate you and your weird friend so much <333333 Thank you for reading, your reaction, and this lovely comment that made my day! :D

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Palak Shah
14:15 Aug 08, 2021

This was a great plot and I loved reading it. Well done :)))) Could you please read my latest story if possible :))

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Mazie Gray
21:52 Aug 09, 2021

Thanks!

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15:01 Jun 17, 2021

I now present the emoji that was my face after reading this: (0)_(0) Like, wow. The ending made me freak out. IS LUX DEAD? AAAAAAAGH you are a great writer! Keep up the good work!

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Mazie Gray
16:38 Jun 17, 2021

Awww, thank you soooo much, Em! Lux is not dead, but Harlow may be... Thanks again! <333

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20:48 Jun 18, 2021

Haha, thank YOU!

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Angelina Jeong
05:01 May 28, 2021

This is so well written!

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Mazie Gray
01:25 Jun 01, 2021

Thanks!

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21:38 May 21, 2021

NO NO No no 😭😭😭 whyyyyy :’( OKAY SO anyways XD the plot and the alternating between past and present fitted really well, and the end was so sad 😔 CAKESTANDING 🍰🎂🍰🎂!! - Amethyst

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Mazie Gray
21:21 May 22, 2021

IK IK Ik ik 😭😭😭 idkkkkkk D': YES? SOOOO... XDDD thank you so much! ik.... I just started a piece (idk if I'm gonna post it on here) that is worse than this.... IDK WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD Thank you!! - Brooke

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22:30 May 22, 2021

Np! :D lolol What was that idea about? :o Np :DDD

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Mazie Gray
03:52 May 23, 2021

Here's the simplified version of my brainstorm lol: Twins, a boy and a girl, are in a fight, and they fight until Desdemona, the girl, knocks her brother, Keres, unconscious. She is reprimanded severely by being locked in The Closet that has terrible conditions. Keres finds out about this and wishes he could tell his parents, but they died and his guardian sent him and his sister to this boarding school for a reason. With the help of a few friends, Keres has to save Desdemona. What do you think? :)

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22:50 May 23, 2021

:OOOOOO oml so complex! The plot sounds super cool and developed, I think it’ll come out really well :DD

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Mazie Gray
00:55 May 24, 2021

Oml thank you so much! I don’t think u understand how much that means to me

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