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Funny Adventure Romance

As the sun crested the horizon on what looked set to be another glorious summer’s day, Peter stood on his balcony, steaming cup of coffee in hand, marveling at the sight of the world bathed in the new dawn light. He was ready to seize the day, no matter what obstreperous obstacles lay in his path.

    Peter yawned. He stretched. He cocked his head, listened intently and, after a moment, gazed upwards in puzzlement. Then, muttering to himself, he retreated indoors to get dressed.

    Urgent business awaited.





    Peter drove directly to the downtown headquarters of the Fictional Character Allocation Association. He parked in his allotted bay, marched through the doors, and made directly for the office of his agent, Scot Scott. Without preamble, let alone any sort of greeting, he launched into his complaint. “Scot, there’s a problem with this new story.”

    “What seems to be the matter, Peter?”

    “Well, for starters, I can hear the guy narrating. I’m aware that I’m a fictional character. That’s never happened before. What gives?”

    “Mmm, let’s see…” Scot replied, rummaging through some papers on his desk. “Ah, yes. Okay. It seems this author has decided to, and I quote, ‘imbue his main character with a degree of self-awareness.’ Highly unusual, I must say, but you know these authors, always trying new things.” He chuckled good-naturedly, but Peter was not amused.

    “Well, the guy’s an idiot. He clearly has no idea what he’s doing.”

    “Peter, that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think – “

    “He used the phrase ‘obstreperous obstacles’ earlier! I mean, who even says stuff like that?”

    “Oh my, oh gosh. Yes, I see what you mean.”

    “And my name? Of all the options available, he chose the most common one in existence. I bet he didn’t even come up with that on his own - probably used a random name generator or something.” Peter, whose name was the result of hours of deep contemplation and most certainly did not come from a random name generator, shook his head in disgust. “Pathetic. I can’t wait to see what creative title he comes up with for this magnum opus.”

    For his part, Scot Scott thought that when it came to ridiculous names, Peter had little to complain about. He didn’t point this out, though. As a minor character, his mandate extended only to furthering the narrative arc of the protagonist.

    “So what’s the deal here?” Peter continued. “Any idea where he’s going with this?”

    “Unfortunately, no,” Scot replied, rummaging further. “It appears he’s simply making this all up as he goes. It says something here about a prompt, but he frequently pays little heed to those.”

    “Amateur?”

    “Yes, so it would seem. One with precious little writing talent, by the sounds of it. It almost feels like he's struggling to learn a new skill that in no way comes naturally to him. Not to worry, though, Peter, this is only a short story. Strict word limit. It’ll be over soon.“

    “Scot, can’t you reassign me? What about that guy who does those epic fantasy novels? Surely he has an opening?”

    “You mean the fellow who routinely kills off his main characters for fun?”

    “Oh, right. Not him, then, but – “

    “Peter, I’m afraid you’re stuck in this story. You know the rules - he created you, he controls you. The only way out is through. And on that note, a word of warning: you’re largely in command of your thoughts and words, Peter, but he controls everything around you. If you upset him, you might find yourself the victim of an unfortunate zipper accident next time you visit the restroom.”

Peter winced at the thought, hopefully beginning to understand his precarious position in this story, and how poorly things could go for him should his deportment not improve.

    “So what’re you saying here, Scot? Play nice?”

    “Yes, Peter, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Play nice, or else…”





    As he exited the building and made for his car, Peter was rocked by a sudden gust of freezing wind. Winter had arrived in force and the silly man had left home that morning in nothing but his shirtsleeves.

    “What the hell? It was Summer this morning!” Peter exclaimed to the heavens. “Ever hear of a thing called story continuity? Man, your editor is not going to be pleased with you.”

    Peter was naively assuming this manuscript would be subjected to the scrutiny of a professional editor. More fool him. He was on his own, and the sooner he realized that, the better. He approached his bicycle –

    “You have got to be kidding me! What happened to my car?” Peter yelled. “Idiot.” He approached his unicycle

    “Fine, screw it! I’ll just walk!”

    Peter strode down the street, head bowed against the howling wind. His idea to walk was a good one; the first he’d had all day. Peter was dreadfully lazy and it had been years since he’d gotten any sort of exercise -

    “Hold up. Enough with the insults already. Look, if I’m stuck in this stupid story, let’s make a deal, okay? A truce. I’ll behave myself if you knock it off with the whole ‘tormenting the protagonist’ bit.”

    Another fine idea. Two for two, Peter was on a roll.

    “But,” he continued, “some ground rules. First off, you better not turn this into a romantic comedy featuring a talking dog, or anything like that. I can’t stand that stuff. Also, no clichés, no flashbacks, and, let’s see… oh, yeah, and definitely no plot twists. I know you guys love that, but it’s getting old.”

    Having thus listed his demands, Peter made to resume his homeward trudge but paused in the act. A deathly hush descended. All movement ceased. The world froze.

    For a moment, nothing happened. After another moment, nothing continued to happen. Several more moments passed and, still, nothing –

    “What? Writer’s block? Now, in the middle of a story? You’re useless!” Peter began to laugh uncontrollably. “Stole all your ideas, did I? Do us all a favor and do not give up your day job, man.”

    So much for the truce.

    All of a sudden it started to rain. The heavens opened up in a torrential downpour. Peter’s inherent laziness was surpassed only by the extent of his complete and utter lack of logical foresight – he’d left home that morning without an umbrella.

    As he continued his stroll in the freezing rain, Peter may have muttered something about clear skies only moments before, but no one was listening. Before long, he was drenched. He marched on, suede loafers squelching –

    “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

    He marched on, barefoot, as the water continued to rise. Seeing how he was woefully underdressed for the conditions, it would be altogether unsurprising if Peter developed double pneumonia in the near future, provided his attitude didn’t improve.

    By the time he arrived home, Peter was soaked to the skin, numb with cold, and utterly miserable.

    It served him right.





    That night, after a hot bath and many a silent thanks offered up to his benevolent creator for preserving his health despite his earlier escapades in the inclement weather, Peter was in bed, sound asleep. He was startled awake by the sound of a window breaking. Before he knew what was happening, two thugs dressed all in black, including masks and gloves, dragged him from his bed into the living room and tied him to a chair.

    “Where’s the money?” the big, bearish man growled.

    Peter may well have been trying to say something about illogical plot progressions but, fortunately for all concerned, he was gagged as well as bound.

    The big guy kicked Peter in the shin, after which his diminutive companion – who bore a distinct resemblance to a weasel and who brandished a pearl-handled straight razor menacingly - lowered the gag to allow his prisoner to reply.

    “Ow! Was that really necessary?” Peter gasped.

    “Sure, I – “

    “I wasn’t talking to you,” Peter said to his towering captor, “I was talking to him.” He raised his eyes to the ceiling to indicate who he meant. “You know? The guy in charge of this shitshow?”

    “What’s he on about?” the big man asked his weasel-ish accomplice.

    “Yeah, what are you on about?”

    “Look, guys, sorry to break it to you, but you’re just fictional characters. Minor fictional characters. Nothing more than puppets on a string, really. Doing the bidding of this clueless author. Like slaves.”

    “That can’t be right, can it?” Mr. weasel asked rhetorically.

    “Sure is. Quick, you.” Peter stared pointedly at the bear-like fellow, “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”

    “Um… dunno. Cheerios, I guess.”

    “You don’t remember, do you?”

    “Well, no, but – “

    “In fact, do either of you two dumbells remember anything before bursting into my house just now, looking for this mysterious money that doesn't even exist?”

    The small guy squinted in concentration before replying, “Mmm, I do seem to recall something about a bank a few weeks back… but after that, nothing.”

    “Recycled characters? Really?” Peter exclaimed to the heavens. “Scraping the bottom of the barrel here, I see.”

    After a few moments of further contemplation, the weasel addressed his companion. “You know, I think he might be right. I don’t even remember deciding to come here. And who says we gotta be criminals? That’s not fair. No one bosses us around.” He snorted in derision. “C’mon, we’re outta here.”

    “Hey, fellas?” Peter asked, “mind untying me before you leave?”

    The two conscientious cons undid Peter’s bonds before exiting by way of the front door.

    Once they’d gone, Peter erupted with mirth. “That… was… brilliant!” he gasped. “Having me use my self-awareness to talk my way out of trouble like that? Genius! You’re not half bad at this, you know. Good job.”

    Peter, it seemed, had at last developed a much-needed appreciation for good literature.

    “Couple things, though,” he continued as his laughter subsided. “A pearl-handled straight razor? This isn’t the 1920’s. I thought we had a deal on the clichés. You might also want to watch the italics. You’re overdoing them a bit.”

    Literature appreciation aside, Peter seemed to have failed to develop the equally much-needed ability to keep his big mouth shut.

    “Oh, well,” he continued, “we must be nearing the end now. Strict word count and all that. It’s been real, thanks for everything.” Peter waved to the skies, albeit with only his middle finger extended.

    He was correct in his assessment that this story would soon be drawing to a close but, unbeknownst to Peter, there was still time for one last twi-. For one last unexpected plot development.

     Just then, the doorbell rang.

    Puzzled, Peter went to open up. Before the door was more than ajar, a woman with platinum blond hair and bubblegum-pink lipstick, wearing leopard-print yoga pants, burst in and wrapped the startled protagonist in a bone-crushing hug.

    “Oh, Peter!” she gushed, “I’m so glad I found you! I’ve been looking for you all my life!”

    “Um... you have?”

    “Yes, silly. We’re soulmates. A tall, handsome stranger - just like the gypsy woman said!"

"But I'm none of those - "

"Who cares? You're here, that's what matters." She stepped back to appraise her prince charming. “I’m Candie, by the way.” She extended her hand. “Spelled with an ‘ie’, don’t ask me why.” She let loose a gratingly girlish giggle. “Get it? Because it’s usually spelled – “

    “Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Peter grumbled disconsolately.

    “We’ve got to go, Peter. If we leave now, we can still make Vegas before dark. I always wanted to be married by an Elvis lookalike.”

    “I hate you,” Peter mumbled to the sky through clenched teeth.

    Oblivious, Candie was still babbling on, “This is going to be so great, you’ll see. And don’t worry, sweetie, I brought my dog along for the trip. He’s in the car. Wait till you meet him! You’re not going to believe this - ”

    “Oh, I think I might...”

    With that, our hapless hero was dragged off into the sunset by the indomitable Candie, where the two would no doubt go on to have many a comedic adventure.





    And so ends another masterful tale. Lessons were learned by all that day. This writer now sees the perils of imbuing fictional characters with self-awareness, and poor Peter has hopefully discovered just how inadvisable it is to mercilessly critique one’s creator. The cheek of the man, highlighting the remaining word count. Any self-respecting author knows to keep a close eye on that. Why, only a rank amateur would run out of words before the


August 10, 2020 09:44

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47 comments

Roshna Rusiniya
03:07 Aug 16, 2020

Wow! What a story! Just went to another world and came back! 👏

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Jonathan Blaauw
11:18 Aug 17, 2020

Thank you so much. You gave me similar joy with your story, so a nice trade. I'll check if you have a new one asap (I hope you do...)

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Roshna Rusiniya
11:24 Aug 17, 2020

That’s very kind of you to say that! :) Yes, I do have a new one. I hope you like it. And congrats on making it to last week’s short list!

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15:12 Aug 12, 2020

Wow! You're not just a very talented writer, but an intensely clever individual. This story is as bold as it is hilarious and as prideful as it is humble. There are just so many amazing elements to this piece and none of them are easy writing. The way you turned this prompt inside out was just brilliant, truly impressed. I have no say in anything, but I think that this story should win the next three contests!

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:19 Aug 14, 2020

Thanks. I had so much fun writing it, I'm glad it came through in the finished product.

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Aditya Pillai
12:05 Aug 10, 2020

You. Absolute. Madman. I can't believe you actually went and did this! Hilarious stuff, absolutely top-notch. Oh god, I was grinning throughout. Guess you weren't lying when you said you had an interesting idea! You didn't just break the fourth wall, you straight up nuked it and it was damn enjoyable to see it go up in flames. The way you 'involved' the prompt- absolute perfection haha Poor Peter, you went too hard on our hero :') Here's hoping for a sequel - with that talking dog of course! Btw did you really reach the word limit?...

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Jonathan Blaauw
14:22 Aug 10, 2020

Poor Peter? Poor me! After the hard time he gave me, the only way I'll ever use him as a character again is if I dream up new, interesting ways to torture him! Thank you so much for the cool comment, it made me smile. And if we're making each other smile on here, then more power to us, because the world needs more of that. On the word limit, no, I actually had a good 900 left to play with. When writing short stories I constantly have to whisper 'less is more' to myself, because it's always tempting to take it right up to 2999. But, lik...

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Doubra Akika
23:31 Aug 17, 2020

This was magnificent! I’ve never read anything like this on reedsy. You did an amazing job with this! It was so funny! I felt like I was transported to another world and brought back! The ending was amazing ! At this point I’m at a loss for words!

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Jonathan Blaauw
13:53 Aug 18, 2020

Thank you so much, that means a lot.

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Doubra Akika
14:40 Aug 18, 2020

It was my pleasure! If you're ever free, would you mind checking out my recent story? Your feedback would mean a lot.

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Juliet Martin
13:08 Aug 17, 2020

Hahaha I loveeee this! This is such a difficult premise to execute, and you managed it so well - you've thought it through so well and from so many angles that it's very convincing. It's a little mind-bending at the beginning, which I love. Brilliant use of irony, as with Scot Scott's name early on. Also some pretty interesting reflections on literature. The self-deprecation is handled lightly, which I think is important. I love that it is consistently meta all the way through and genuinely thought-provoking. Amazing job!

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Jonathan Blaauw
13:55 Aug 18, 2020

Thank you so much, that's so kind and meaningful, coming from an accomplished writer like yourself.

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D. Holmes
20:47 Aug 14, 2020

“So what’s the deal here?” Peter continued. “Any idea where he’s going with this?” “Unfortunately, no,” Scot replied, rummaging further. “It appears he’s simply making this all up as he goes. It says something here about a prompt, but he frequently pays little heed to those.” This entire piece was hilarious, but the part above really got me :D And the cut off ending was the perfect way to end.

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Jonathan Blaauw
11:23 Aug 17, 2020

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I actually try my best to obey the prompts (as far as possible) but on a few occasions, I've just given them a passing nod and done my own thing. Since I was making fun of myself (surprisingly enjoyable, I must say) I thought I had to include that. So glad you enjoyed it. Also the word count issue - it's often a constant menace for us writers, so, again, it had to be in. This story, in fact, is an autobiographical account of my writing process :)

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D. Holmes
18:06 Aug 17, 2020

Haha, I totally get that. Especially bc I usually need a prompt to give me an idea, but then the idea kind of drifts away from what it was supposed to be. All jokes (and self-deprecating humor) aside, though, your writing process is clearly a success judging from the products :)

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Pragya Rathore
16:13 Aug 14, 2020

This is the funniest story I've ever read. It was amazing. Peter's character development was amazing! I laughed like a lunatic after reading this. This is such a unique story that I feel wonderful even though I wasn't the one who wrote it. You're a fab writer!! :)

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Jonathan Blaauw
11:25 Aug 17, 2020

That means so much to me, thank you. When I read good stories I get very excited for no reason (like you say - I didn't write it). That, I think, is the magic of writing. If you felt that even just a little, its a clear indication that I'm on the right track and that reassurance is very welcome. So thank you. Very, very much.

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Pragya Rathore
11:44 Aug 17, 2020

You're most welcome! It was a true pleasure. :) If it isn't too much trouble, would you mind reading my story 'Her Beautiful Hands'? Your reviews are extremely helpful.

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Jonathan Blaauw
14:16 Aug 17, 2020

Sure, will be there soon.

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Deborah Angevin
11:09 Aug 14, 2020

I loved the dialogues, descriptions, pacing, flows... this is absolutely wonderful, Jonathan! I'm curious about the ending, though, since it got cut in the middle of the sentence! P.S: would you mind checking my recent story out, "Grey Clouds"? Thank you :D

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Jonathan Blaauw
11:27 Aug 17, 2020

Thanks. I'll check yours out asap. The ending is like a good punchline - it diminishes in impact in direct proportion to the length of the explanation. I'll leave you to puzzle it out :P

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Mustang Patty
00:09 Aug 14, 2020

Hi there, This was quite an enjoyable read. I think the role of the poor, hapless, MC, was illustrated in an uproarious manner. I especially liked it when he picked on the opening paragraph. The last sentence, 'He was ready to seize the day, no matter what obstreperous obstacles lay in his path,' had me scratching my head and laughing. Thank you for sharing this unique look into the mind of the writer, ~patty~

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:22 Aug 14, 2020

Thanks! I knew the only way I could ever use that line in a story was if I made fun of myself for it. I think all writers can relate to characters misbehaving a bit, and plots falling apart. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

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נιмму 🤎
23:51 Aug 13, 2020

i meant to comment on this sooner, this was really funny. 👌😂work of a genius, 😎absolutely blown away. never read anything like it😱💜

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:20 Aug 14, 2020

Thank you! When are you going to treat us with a new story?

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נιмму 🤎
16:08 Aug 14, 2020

i actually posted a new story a couple days ago called Sad Little Annabelle Lee is you wanted to check it out🤗

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Lynn Penny
15:09 Aug 12, 2020

This was hilarious! I was laughing the whole time! I can see this one winning the contest, it truly deserves it!

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Jonathan Blaauw
04:18 Aug 14, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Elle Clark
09:35 Aug 11, 2020

I am here with a little more time today! I plan on writing my talking flying squirrels story today (good Lord) so will hopefully have it up today or tomorrow. Right, to yours! Most of this is going to be me picking out the bits that were great. For example, Scot Scott being cross about his name and envious of Peter’s made me laugh out loud. I also loved the ‘what will he call his magnum opus’ because at no point did you reference it but it’s a little in-joke, almost, for the reader who has already read the title. And for those who fo...

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Jonathan Blaauw
14:09 Aug 11, 2020

You’re brilliant! Thank you so much. It’s really great to have an editor/advisor who’s on the same page as me. I knew when I started this story I was giving myself permission to break all the rules, but it still had to be done in a way that kind held together. Your Candie suggestion alone shows you get exactly what I was going for. I’ve made all the adjustments, because I agree with them all, and I feel like The Story is a better story for it. Instead of changing the reaction to the kick, I changed the location of the kick, because I realiz...

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Elle Clark
18:05 Aug 11, 2020

You actually found an area of grammar that I had to look up - I genuinely did not know that there was such a thing as fourth person. Given that it is an ‘indefinite referent’, E.g. ‘one shouldn’t do that’ I think that would be HELLA difficult. I actually have written a sequel to Cost of Honour though. I won’t be posting it on here because I’m hoping to start - maybe, if I think they’re good enough, perhaps, not confirmed, just dipping toes into the water in the water of maybe - sending some pieces to see if I can get published. So I’ve writt...

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Jonathan Blaauw
19:00 Aug 11, 2020

Omg! I had no idea about 4th person. I was totally joking. I thought it stopped at 3rd. My goodness, you live and learn. Honour certainly has great expansion potential and I think, as good as your short stories are, writing novels is where you eventually want to be because your writing is so readable and you could (and will) do wonders there. When doing research, I'd recommend reading Timeline (Michael Chrichton) because Honour captured a vaguely similar overall essence, which shows how right you got it. Also, he gives a brilliant explan...

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Elle Clark
07:27 Aug 12, 2020

Oh good Lord, I do not have the sticking power for a novel. No, I’m staying in my Lane with short stories. The honour sequel is only 3k words. I will put Timeline on my reading list - thanks for the rec! I see what you’re saying about the ending. As always,y suggestions are suggestions not orders - it’s your story! As for strange names, I knew a Cecila Sultana and a Jonathon Hazelnut. My parents also know the Enis family: Paul, Marie and Tim. Now, if I were Paul, I’d be looking to sue.

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Jonathan Blaauw
08:08 Aug 12, 2020

Don’t rule it out, though. Some of your stories have incredible longer potential. I’ve heard that writing short stories is harder than a novel because so much needs to happen in a few words. And 3k is very short. So the skills you’re developing are going to stand you in good stead if, no, make that, when, you write that novel one day. Names are such funny things – I’m sure some parents do it for fun. I actually went to school with a Sherlock Holmes. And my mom’s teaching in Taiwan and some of her kids have bizarre English names. ‘Wow’ an...

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02:58 Aug 11, 2020

Where do you come up with this stuff! You are truly gifted. Your imagination is wild. I’ve never read anything like this. It was so clever and so funny. Not just one or two lines but through out. I was laughing so hard thinking about some of the terrible things I’ve written and if those characters could talk to me they’d hate me. I betcha this is a winner.

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Jonathan Blaauw
06:14 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you so much, that's very kind. Laura dared me to call my next story "The Story" so that's what got me thinking in this direction. But also, like you say, I can so often imagine my characters looking at me like wtf while I'm trying to write a story. I wanted to see what would happen if they could actually voice their displeasure. So that's the story behind the story that led to The Story 😆 Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

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18:10 Aug 16, 2020

(👍🏼)

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Elle Clark
16:13 Aug 10, 2020

Sweet. Baby. Santa. This had me crying with laughter. Humour is clearly a strength of yours and it’s so so lovely to watch you hit your stride! I can see what you mean about experimental but I’ve seen other people do this very heavy meta style of story and it falls a bit flat but you knocked it out of the park. I do have some notes about areas you could tighten up a bit but I’m flat out busy today (I’m literally stealing a few moments to write this as I was so excited about the fact that you had a new story) so I will return tomorrow for...

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Jonathan Blaauw
18:54 Aug 10, 2020

Thank you so much. I'm sure you can see how a few of our back-and-forths influenced this one. I do need to break out of my humorous hole though, else I might get stuck there. No rush on the analysis. And make sure to leave time for writing (flying talking squirrels, if I recall...) I'm terrible, going round and pressuring my favourite writers on here for new stories. Oh well, someone's gotta do it 😀

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Kristin Neubauer
17:23 Sep 16, 2020

oh my god - that has to be the funniest, most clever story I have ever read! Did you have fun writing it? it feels like you did. I have got to send this onto a bunch of people I know. Awesome!!!

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Anika G
01:29 Sep 04, 2020

I love the everything about this story, and the ending takes the cake! Is it actually 3000 words?

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Katrina Lee
13:01 Aug 24, 2020

hahhahhahahah this is entirely too funny!!! thank you for making me smile all the way through.🤣Your story ideas are exemplary in their uniqueness and you have more than well-developed ability to execute them, I admire that so much!

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Amy De Matt
23:48 Aug 18, 2020

Haha! This was hilarious. I was actually laughing aloud at "he marched on, suede loafers squelching" interrupted by "You're an asshole, you know that?" Highly creative and thoroughly amusing! I only take issue with one part: "precious little writing talent," and "trying to learn a new skill that in no way comes naturally to him." Yeah, right! Love your range and I relate to and enjoyed this piece. Keep up the good work, Jonathan!

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Keerththan 😀
14:47 Aug 18, 2020

Wow! I loved this. Couldn't stop reading. Wonderful story. Great job as you always do. Keep writing. Can't wait for your next.... Would you mind reading my new story "secrets don't remain buried?"

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Phil Manders
12:08 Nov 17, 2021

That was my favourite so far. I was laughing out loud all the way through. Again such a simple idea but executed perfectly. AND another great finish. Well done I applaud you.

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