Lonely Waters

What can I say? For weeks I have been on this rudimentary raft that I found on the shore. I could not take this anymore. The urban life. The fast-paced environment. The traffic. The bills. The debts. The obligations. The responsibilities. The destruction of nature. How come can I not think about myself? How about what I want?

Okay, to be honest, my goal was to escape my creditors. I got into a huge debt. I blame myself. It all started due to a so-called friend that I thought had the best interest for me. He did not. He made money on my back. I was foolish. When it comes to money, never ever trust anyone other than yourself.

When I got to this shore, my goal was not to embark into this journey on a rotten raft. I came here to end my life…

The only things I have brought with me are the clothes on my back, my cell, and my wallet. Now, I am on my third week on this raft in the middle of nowhere. I lost twenty pounds. The only thing I see is water around me. At least, no predators so far. I have been drinking the water of the ocean. I was hoping I would die by now but I am letting this raft take me to my new destination. That is if there is one or it might be my casket. An open casket…

Odd. I seem to be drifting at a higher velocity but I feel no waves, no winds…very odd.

  It seems like the water is taking me somewhere. My destination? My new life? Maybe I am so exhausted that I am seeing an illusion? It seems like a piece of land but, it feels also I am many nautical miles away.

This shitty raft looks like it will disassemble anytime but for some reason, it is staying united and afloat. I am hearing voices. It is due to hunger? I seemed to have heard that it is guiding me to a new life away from societal prejudices and woes.

‘’I am the goddess of the water world. I remember you. From many years ago. As a kid. You and your friends were cleaning the beaches. That is helping me also. You help the ocean, the ecosystem, the aquatic creatures…’’

I think I am losing it…

‘’You are not losing it. I saw you helping many beaches. You cleaned up and removed so much trash from many shores around the country. You were volunteering. I know you did not do it for the money.’’

I heard the goddess now. Clear and sound. I am not high.

‘’I believe that we are all brought into this world to do one or a few good things, good deeds, where we excel at. Perhaps, you should be working as an environmentalist, a marine biologist or be an entrepreneur and start cleaning the ocean. Did you not complete engineering? I am sure you have ideas to clean this planet from all the man produced waste that is piling up in our waters.’’

What was I thinking during all these years? She is right. I have been wasting time with the wrong people, wrong dreams, wrong projects. I have a degree in a field where I can help the oceans, lakes, rivers, and seas of this planet.

It is never too late. We all grow up, with most of us, trying to pursue the dreams of our parents. Or, trying to please them…

I am realizing more and more, that yes…for whom was I living this life? Trying to make my parents happy? I did a degree in engineering and I am working all day in an office between four walls. I am an engineer and I can do better things in this world. Work outdoors. Help the nature. Help the environment.

As I am feeling better, even with an empty stomach, and feeling more optimistic about my next phase of my life.

‘’I am going to drop you off an island. You will be alone. Take the time to regroup your energy and thoughts. Stay as long as you want. This island will provide you shelter, food, but no clothes. That I can’t help. You will be alone; the weather will be warm. You can stay nude. A nude beach with one client only. Happy?’’

Oh boy! Yes. She is right. This is time to rest, reset, and plan.

The water goddess pushed my raft onto this island. Honestly, I have no clue where I am and it does not matter. The goal is to use this time off to reflect, be at peace and have a goal, a dream, a project in life…

The first few days on this island were not easy. It felt weird to live without rules, without a society, without boundaries…

After a few weeks, I was able to get used to the coconut water, bananas and the water goddess was offering me fresh fishes, crabs, lobsters, and shrimps. I was getting my proteins. To eat alone at night, almost naked, on the beach while talking to nature. It was unreal…

This island, is so clean. Clean in the sense that no human beings have put foot here. Nothing was altered by a man till I came here. There is no intervention required by me or anyone else.

I am ready to return home. I spent six weeks here. It was not an ordinary vacation. This was a spiritual awakening for me. It won’t be easy. I got debts to clear but I think I have a prototype in my mind about cleaning the oceans from the trash items we have been throwing in it.

The water goddess is ready to bring me back home and to confront my challenges. One day at a time. Rome was not built in one day, right? I don’t need to look at the big picture now, but I will get there one step at a time. We learn from our past mistakes. The goal is not to repeat them, and use those experience to go forward. Life ain’t a walk in the park.