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Fantasy Funny Kids

Walmart.


Stupid, stupid Walmart.


If I had just gone to Safeway, I could’ve avoided everything that had happened.


But no. I went to Walmart.


*****


It started at noonish last Sunday. Normally, I wouldn’t even be out of bed at noon, because weekends are for sleeping in. If I go to the grocery store at all—I’m 15, so my parents do most of the shopping—it’s at midnight or so.


Not this time.


I had a checklist, okay? It was on PAPER. Weird, I know. Too bad—I only follow a checklist if it’s written out. What was this particular checklist about, you ask? Well, this checklist was random things I wanted to happen this month:



My Checklist (Finish Before February):



☐ Go to Virginia Beach even though it’s winter

☐ Go to Walmart at NOON, not midnight

☐ Read a book that isn’t epic fantasy

☐ Attempt to eat a shrimp

☐ Meet a magical creature (LITERALLY ANY MAGIC) 

☐ Buy some scissors

☐ Teach Dad about Siri

☐ Get a DOGGY!!!



I made a new one every month. A magical creature sighting and going to Walmart at a reasonable time were the two tasks I could never accomplish, though, so they were on EVERY list.


Where was I? Right. It was noon, so I hopped in my car and drove to Walmart.


*****


It was snowing extremely lightly when I started driving.


It was storming into a monster blizzard by the time I got to the supermarket.


I live 5 minutes away from Walmart.


I was a bit disturbed, but I still parked my car and ran into the store. I would be there for a while, waiting out the blizzard.


I walked in…just as everybody was leaving.


And I mean everybody. Huge swaths of people were jogging out of the huge store—even Walmart regulars, which was especially weird. When those people go to the store, they go to the store.


Besides, while the blizzard was freaky, it was better to wait it out in a store than drive in it. Nobody seemed to realize that, though—everybody was trying to scurry out of the supermarket in record time.


I didn’t care. I had gotten this far to check off a task on my checklist, so I was going to buy a pack of Lays.


*****


My feet clacked against the tiles as I marched into Walmart. Only the cashiers were still there, but then something came over the speakers:


“ATTENTION, ATTENTION,” a gruff voice boomed, “THIS WALMART IS CLOSING DUE TO AN EXTREMELY LARGE BLIZZARD THAT IS TOTALLY NATURAL. SO… YEAH, GET OUT.”


I didn’t stop. 


I was getting those chips.


The cashiers started to pack up. Soon, I was the only person in the Walmart—which was super freaky.


The Walmart near my house was huge. It’s usually bustling with noise and people, though. Now, there was no sound, no inhabitants minus me.


I groaned. The cashiers were gone, so I couldn’t buy the bag of chips in my arm.


I placed the Lays down and started walking towards the exit. Right before I walked out of the sliding doors showcasing the snowy wonderland beyond, I heard something that made me stop in my tracks:


A clatter.


I slowly started to walk towards where the sound had come from. Right before I entered the jewelry aisle (yep, my Walmart has one of those) I saw something: a figure clad in black, a bag full of something swung over his back.


Normally, I would’ve called 911, or at least screamed “ROBBBBER! SOMEBODY CATCH THIS GUY! HE’S STEALING STUFF! STOP HIIIIM!”


But I didn’t. Not just because there was no one around to hear me—I had my phone, after all.


No, I didn’t do anything because of one crucial fact: the figure wasn’t that of a grown person. It was maybe a foot and a half tall.


Hint hint: the robber was...


A baby?!


*****


I hadn’t realized I had said those words out loud until I had, well, said them out loud. My voice echoed in the giant supermarket as I rounded the same corner the baby had previously.


When I turned onto the card aisle, there was a baby giggling on the floor. 


The baby looked like a baby. It had a dreamy smile and was drooling a little, wiggling around. I wasn’t fooled—his all-black outfit was snagged on a nearby Happy Birthday! card.


Right, the baby was naked.


“Ack!” I exclaimed. I grabbed the black jumpsuit and threw it on the baby. “Put your robber outfit on!”


I stopped short in my tracks. What was I doing? I was probably hallucinating. Yeah, that was it. No baby would actually be robbing a Walmart with a black outfit and some strong legs. Nope, that wasn’t possible.


I took my thoughts back an instant later, when the baby caught the jumpsuit, stood up (and I don’t mean the baby version of standing up. I mean this infant was standing tall [as tall as an infant can stand…]), pulled it over his head, then groaned and started talking.


“Seriously?” The baby grumbled in the voice that had warned people to leave over the speakers. “You didn’t fall for it? Most people would see a baby and help it, not act like it can talk and put on its own clothes!


My jaw literally dropped. The baby was talking. DANG, this day was weird. I mean, I suppose since I had just seen the baby RUNNING and ROBBING, talking like a grown human wasn’t so strange, but still. You try seeing an infant speak in complete sentences and not being shocked.


After an awkward moment of silence, I finally recovered from my suprise:


“But you can talk and put on your own clothes.” I pointed out. “And no, I’m not falling for it because I just saw the same baby running. And robbing.”


“But still!” The baby threw his chubby little arms up. I stifled a snort. “I worked hard to conjure up that blizzard!”


“Wait, you conjured it up?” I squinted. “Actually, I guess that makes sense. Hold on…you're the guy who made the announcement, right?”


The baby nodded.


“Then why the heck did you add that the blizzard was totally natural?”


“I thought it would shake everybody off.”


“No!” I scowled then pondered a second. “You’re not very bright, are you?” I shook my head. “Oh, who am I kidding. You’re a baby.” I scratched my head as I studied the kid. “You. Are. A. Baby. Geez. How are you talking? And walking?”


“I’m not a baby, stupid!”


I laughed. “Suuuure. The baby calls me stupid.” I shook my head again, but this time to clear it. “I need to go. I’m definitely hallucinating.”


I started to walk away but a small hand pulled me back. I turned around and found the baby standing there. “I’m not a baby. Well, I am, but not a baby human. Well, I can be, but not all the time…” his voice trailed off and I said, “Whuh?”


A moment later, there was no infant standing in front of me. There was a baby unicorn.


Next, a newborn tiger.


Third, a tiny dragon.


Then, a baby goblin—what I think a baby goblin would look like anyway. He was maybe two feet tall, with green-brown skin and a shock of purple hair.


The goblin grinned at me. “See? Not a baby. A goblin is my normal form.”


“Normal…form…” my brain put together the words with what I had seen. “You’re a shapeshifter?”


“Yeppers. And now, since I can’t have you tattling on me, goodnight.”


I was about to ask what the heck he meant when the tiny goblin-robber swung his heavy bag into my head.


*****


I woke up in my bed.


My mom was sitting on the end, typing. She was a doctor but in her free time, she was an author. When she noticed I was awake, she smiled and scooted over. “So glad you’re up, Tyler.”


“Yeah,” I mustered.


“The police found you unconscious in the Walmart. The whole place had been robbed. Everyone’s so glad you’re okay!”


I mumbled, “Thanks.” 


“Do you, by any chance, know who the robber is?”


I racked my brain but couldn’t think of a single good answer. Any lie could backfire, and the truth was…iffy. “Ummmm…”


“You kept muttering ‘it was a goblin’ right before you were about to wake,” Mom recalled, “but goblins don’t exist and you were probably just saying whatever.”


I thought about the baby goblin/unicorn/tiger/dragon/human. “Nope. No idea who the robber is.”


Mom kissed my forehead and left the room, and I grabbed my checklist-containing notebook.


I flipped to January’s checklist. Grinning, I checked off the box for Go to Walmart at NOON, not midnight.


Grinning wider, I checked off the second box I could never accomplish.


“Meet a magical creature,” I whispered as I capped my pen, “check.”



July 28, 2020 12:14

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152 comments

TJ Squared
02:24 Jul 07, 2021

;lkjhgfdfghjklkijuhygtfghjkiuytredsdfghjkloiuytrfdghjkoiuytrfdvghjkiuytrfghjiuytrdfghjkoiuytrdescfvghjkliuytgfdcvbnmkl;loiuytresxdcvbjkloiuytrfdcfvghjkjhgfdxcvbnmkljhgfcvbnkliuhgfdcvbnm,kjhgvfcvbnmkjhgfcvbnm,lkjhgfdcvghjklpoiuhgfdcvghjklokijuhygf *again, sorry for the randomness (although, Val said that it's a very high compliment because i'm left speechless, so...)* anyway, super coolio, and such. The goblin/baby/unicorn/tiger/dragon XDDD just XDDD

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K. Apple
15:59 Jan 16, 2021

Hi Aerin! I promised, quite a while ago, to read your story here! I feel the story itself can’t help but skip and laugh. No matter what dangers present themselves in this imaginative story, I feel it giggling. There’s a message there, an empowering one. Thank you for writing!

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B. W.
22:28 Aug 16, 2020

So far the only thing i've read from you was that new shape-shifter's story you told me about, and today i decided to check out the other stories you made and this one is also really good! imma give it a 10/10

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YAAAY! Thank you! I, like, never get 10/10s! Hehe, I’m so glad you liked this one. Is personally isnt my fav, but apparently people like it a lot because it has 120+ likes, LOL. Thank you a ton for all of your long comments! I’ll definitely give feedback on some of yours tomorrow, when I’ll be in the car for 5 hours! Please remind me, LOL (two LOLs, wow). Bye!

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B. W.
22:36 Aug 16, 2020

no problem in general i just LOVE mostly any type of stories which is probably why i wanna be a writer (i do online but when i used to go to actual school almost every day i would go to the library to get a lot of books) and thanks for going to look at mine as well and i sure will :) and if you have enough time today you could check out "we're...what??" and "hidden away..." but its fine if you do it tomorrow

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Writers Block
09:58 Aug 10, 2020

Oh the things one sees at Walmart. Good imagery! I could visualize the intercom talking about the imminent storm. I pictured a robotic caricature of a talking baby.

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Thank you!

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Avaa Winter
13:38 Aug 09, 2020

What a wonderful story, and such fun twists!

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Thanks!

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Megan Sutherland
14:46 Aug 07, 2020

I love your approach at fiction, Aerin! You really think outside the box. :D Great job on your stories! I'm really impressed!

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Thank you, Megan! It means so much!

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Megan Sutherland
15:02 Aug 07, 2020

👍👍

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Anja Z
07:16 Aug 07, 2020

Fantastic , humorous and attention holding story. Beautifully done , good job:)

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Thank you! 😊😊😁

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Shruti Saxena
10:08 Aug 06, 2020

I love this. Really fun and entertaining. The writing style is so neat and captivating. Great work!

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Thanks! 😊😊😁

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Gene Gryniewicz
17:09 Aug 05, 2020

I liked the story and find it intriguing that magical creatures should haunt a local Walmart (this sounds more like something that happens at somebody else's Walmart). But seriously, I like the dialogue, I like the characterization, I like the idea of a list-things to accomplish.

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Thanks so much, Gene!

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22:55 Aug 04, 2020

Charming! Love the delightful tone. Fun 🎈

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17:24 Aug 04, 2020

I love this story. It’s really fun to read. :)

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Thanks!

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Nikki Mccoy
13:49 Aug 04, 2020

This might be my favorite lol line: “No baby would actually be robbing a Walmart with a black outfit and some strong legs.” Idk, the idea of the strong legs just really added to this magical and sarcastic creature. Thanks for a great read, keep it up!

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Thanks a ton, Nikki!

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Asa Frederick
13:59 Aug 03, 2020

Wonderful story, magical and enjoyable. Great work!

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Sia S
12:33 Aug 03, 2020

Woah!! I loved how you made the prompt sooo creative ❤. Totally awesome!!!!!

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Thank you so muuuuch! 😁

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Sia S
13:22 Aug 03, 2020

👍

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Chizaram Osondu
09:20 Aug 03, 2020

I just read your work and I love how the reader can just relate to it. Its super nice

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Thanks a ton! 😊 I’m glad you like my stories! ☺️😁😁😁

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Chizaram Osondu
09:32 Aug 05, 2020

Ur welcome!!

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C.J Dunstall
00:46 Aug 03, 2020

is the answer to your riddle: in the dictionary?

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Yeah!

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C.J Dunstall
02:15 Aug 05, 2020

hey, there is this new prompt I've started writing for but the thing is I'm not sure if I can make it suit how I talk. the prompt is Write a story that begins with someone's popsicle melting. I want to change popsicle to icecream do you think that would work

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Ummm I guess it would ‘WORK’, but it wouldn’t be completely accurate. As long as it’s same idea, though, I’m sure you’re all good.

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C.J Dunstall
02:23 Aug 05, 2020

okay thanks so much 😊

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Robyn Moss
22:44 Jul 30, 2020

This is such an interesting story. You intrigued me with your imagination. It was amusing and funny.

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Thanks so much! 😄😄😄

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13:55 Jul 29, 2020

This story made me laugh and it was so interesting at the same time! i enjoyed reading it, it's so unique and i love how it flows especially the funny comments you make! Great job :)

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Thanks a bunch! 😁😁😁

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Grace M'mbone
09:39 Jul 29, 2020

I love the twist of your story. Wow. A shape shifter. I really never saw that coming. I couldn't notice any grammatical errors. The flow of your ideas was excellent in my opinion. Keep writing Aerin. Great work.

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Thank you so much!

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Genevieve Taylor
04:14 Jul 29, 2020

This is such a good story! You have a very distinctive voice, and I was smiling the whole time I was reading. Thanks for this!

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Thank you SO MUCH! 🤗🤗🤗

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