58 comments

Drama Contemporary Fiction

Formula: infidelity, swearing, heartbreak, singular mention of suicidal thoughts.

“This is the last time,” she told him. His lips left her neck. The lust inside him was dampened by curiosity.

“The last time?” he asked.

“I can’t keep lying to my husband. I’ve handed in my notice at work already. I’m moving away. This will be the last time you see me.” She drew the covers up around herself as armour. “Say something.”

Every assumption he’d made about their relationship imploded. He’d built his happiness on their stolen moments. He wilted, an alpine flower in the scorching desert sun.

“Then kiss me like it’s the last time,” he said. The usual passion was reinforced with a determination to make every moment mean something. He leaned in for a kiss. Her arms closed around him. The covers fell away. They stayed longer than usual in the hotel room. All of the usual reasons they might be late were inadequate. Both give their every breath to it. Despite his insistent passion, grief ate at his satisfaction.

For her, having planned those moments, it was a fitting send off. She shivered with sexual saturation as she stood beneath the scalding water of the hotel shower. He sat like a discarded condom on the bed. The mattress has been dislodged from its nook. The sheets curled in a corner, lost and forgotten.

“Kiss me goodbye,” she demanded. “I’m going.”

He looks at her desperately for a moment. Nodding to himself he stood. He was raw from sweat and exertion. White flesh was pink with a flush. Sweat matted his hair to his head.

Part of her, the same part that had entered so willingly into the affair, wanted to say it wasn’t over. She rubbed the ring on her finger. She would keep the secret forever. There was a man at home who loved her. She had enough guilt for a thousand lifetimes.

His kiss was the last hit of her favourite drug before going cold turkey. Even as her head implored her to leave her body began to collapse imperceptibly towards his. She pushed away, looking down. His eyes were a bath in her heart. She could not pull it out, it had to be pushed through, no matter the trauma that would bring.

“Goodbye,” she gasped. Turning, she fled through the hotel door. Her feet tapped a rapid march on the carpet until she was safe in the lift.

“See you again next week?” asked the girl on the desk who knew their schedule far too well. They had been sloppy. Caution had been overtaken by lust. She threw the receptionist a heart hearted smile and rushed away.

Cold water dispelled the last of his thoughts about her. Curling into a ball on the shower floor, he thought about his wife. Once they had been an inferno of passion. He was addicted to that feeling. He had been the fire in her eyes. Time had smothered those flames. He’d spent years trying to rebuild that spark.

Sitting in a cold puddle of misery, it was time to admit that the fire was dead. It calmed him. Drying himself, he dressed. Long deep breaths calmed the grief he felt after watching his lover walk away. He wouldn’t chase her. He was done fighting for affection that wasn’t there.

On the train home he researched divorce lawyers. An empty home welcomed him. The detritus of a relationship in decline watched him pack his bags. Photos of them kissing in the beginning turned to staged shots for occasions. A calendar outlined the many things his wife had coming up, none of them involved him. She had a life, that wasn’t the problem. Him not being part of her life, that was the problem.

Long after the sun had set, the door slammed.

“You can’t imagine the day I’ve had,” she yelled through the house. He didn’t respond. “Are you home?”

He said nothing, folding shirts tight. Somehow everything he needed would fit in the suitcase.

“Didn’t you hear me?” asked his wife, entering the bedroom as the hairs on the back of her neck rose.

“I did.” He turned his head, but he can’t look at her. The pain has returned. Pain he’s been pushing down for years is rising to the surface.

“What’s going on? Where are we going?” She put a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

“I’m leaving. I can’t live like this anymore.”

“Like what?” Her words are flecked with tears.

“Waiting for you to love me like you used to.” He turned, watching her tremble. He resisted the instinct to hold her. It was time to rip off the plaster. “I used to spend my time trying to be a man you would love. I wanted to feel the affection you showed me when we met. Some things I read told me I needed to give you more free time for yourself. I had to do the work so that you weren’t tired , so that you weren’t doing it all. I do the dishes. I do the washing. I vacuum. You have time.

I read something else that said if you saw too much of me you would be bored. I took more hours at work hoping you would miss me. That didn’t work.

I read that taking care of your appearance is important. I had to stay the man you fell for. I had to dress like the man you wanted. That didn’t work.

You took the new job. You give all of your time and passion to people you’ll never see again. I lie in bed next to you every night wanting you to hold me. When I reach out to touch you, you push me away.

We’ve been together for twelve years and I’ve felt like I’m alone for most of it now. Do you know how many times I’ve thought about suicide? I need someone who wants me.” Words tripped off his tongue rapid fire. He’d rehearsed them a thousand times in his head.

“I love you. Don’t you love me?” she asked.

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t have waited this long if I didn’t love you. What we have now though,” he waved his hands around. “It’s not love anymore. It’s just a habit that we need to break. Are you happy? I’m not happy.” As she wept, part of him hated himself for hurting her. Another part was angry that it was news to her that their relationship was in tatters.

“I’m happy. I was happy. I thought we were happy.” Her words were dribbling out of her mouth like the tears rolling down her cheeks. It was the last sign he needed that he didn’t buckle at her distress.

“You’re happy at work. You’re happy with your friends and your colleagues and that’s where your love goes. With me,” he was lost for adequate words. “I just need to go before I hate you the way I hate myself.”

“Hate yourself?”

“I had an affair.”

“You what?” Her tears evaporated in the instant heat of her rage. Her voice rose to a roar as she slapped him. The warm imprint of her fingers across his cheek was the most passionate touch she’d given him in years. “So you’re leaving me for some slut?”

“No. The affair is over. I’m leaving you because I haven’t been happy in the relationship in a very long time. Apparently you never noticed.”

“Are you blaming me because you can’t keep your dick in your trousers? That’s bullshit. Were you expecting me to be waiting in bed for you whenever you got home from work? Fuck you.” She screamed loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. It was fair. He deserved it.

“No. I never expected any of that. I just need more attention than you were ever going to give me,” he began but she cut him off.

“Fuck you. Asshole. I gave you the best years of my life.”

“Okay. I know I’ve wronged you, but let's not pretend you really need me.”

“Why should I? Just because you’re a lonely sack of shit who can’t make friends. How is that my fault?”

“BECAUSE I LEFT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE BEHIND TO BE WITH YOU! You know I struggle with new people. I came here for you and you dropped hints that we might move back but it never happened.”

“We have jobs here,” she said, using the same argument as ever.

“So what,” he shrugged, “you’d be just as qualified as you are here, just I would have support from people I know. I would have people to talk to who get me.”

“Get out. I’m done.”

“I’ll leave,” he said. “But I’m selling the house.”

“IT’S MY FUCKING HOUSE!”

“No. I put down the deposit. The deed is in my name and I’ve made sixty percent of the payments since we moved in.” He looked at the clothes in the suitcase. There was so much more in the house. Most of it was the accumulation of a life together, things she bought him.

“Because we agreed you would,” she said. He eyed the flush of passion which had spread from her cheeks to her chest. He knew the constellation of her freckles, though he hadn’t seen them in months.

“That was before I took a pay cut to keep my job and you changed work. You get paid double what you used to.” He zipped up the contents of the suitcase.

“Then you should have brought it up. That’s not my fault.”

“Maybe not, but you haven’t lost out. You’d have paid triple what you have been if you were renting. When I sell this place you’ll get your share.”

“I’m taking the house,” she said, laughing bitterly. “I’m going to get a lawyer to kick your ass. You’ll be living in a box when I’m done with you.

“Good to see what you really care about,” he replied. His jaw tenses with anger. He hoisted the suitcase off the bed and let it slam to the ground. “Move. I’m going.”

“No.” She folded her arms across the nurse’s uniform.

“Why?” He shook his head in confusion.

“Because.” She tried to blink back tears that were already halfway down her face. He looked away, feeling tears of his own forming. She didn’t know why she stood in his way. Sighing, she stepped back. He moved past her, trundling the case behind him.

She wanted to threaten to cut everything he had left into ribbons, but that would have been a lie. A knot in her stomach said that despite the betrayal, some of what he said had been true. She’d known he wasn’t fitting into her home city. Friendships he’d made never lasted.

Reminding herself to be angry, she slammed the door of the bedroom. The bang was a gunshot in the near silence of the house. Then came the yell and the tumbling sounds of something bouncing down the stairs.

She waited, hands over her mouth. Say something, she thought. Just make a noise.

Ripping the door open she saw the empty landing and looked down. He lay at the bottom of the stairs, arms bent the wrong way. One lens of his glasses had shattered into his cheek. His blue eyes stared at nothing.

“The choice is yours,” said the doctor. “Life support will only prolong this state for him. The chances of him waking from the coma are almost zero. Take your time.” The man in a white coat turned and walked away. The door of the hospital room clicked as it shut behind him. A life sign monitor beeped steadily. Lines and numbers that meant nothing flickered.

“What the fuck do I do now?” asked the wife. Looking at the man in the bed, she never saw another woman watching him. His lover cried silently, peering through the blinds. Blowing her nose, she walked away. Her husband was waiting. He would never know what the man in that bed had meant to her.

February 06, 2023 03:30

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58 comments

Rebecca Miles
18:37 Feb 16, 2023

As I'm coming to this one late, I wonder if I can be cheeky and ask about that ending. Did she mean to push him down the stairs? Or was it an accident: the door somehow caught him? Or did he just have a bad accident? I need to know! Great twist and if I'm left wondering then must be good intrigue!

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Graham Kinross
23:42 Mar 04, 2023

He just had a bad accident, not paying attention while pulling a suitcase down the stairs. It caught him and he fell. I clearly needed to write that a bit more clearly. Thank you for reading, sorry the end wasn’t was well written as it should have been, I needed to fit it to the button pushing prompt.

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Rebecca Miles
18:37 Feb 16, 2023

As I'm coming to this one late, I wonder if I can be cheeky and ask about that ending. Did she mean to push him down the stairs? Or was it an accident: the door somehow caught him? Or did he just have a bad accident? I need to know! Great twist and if I'm left wondering then must be good intrigue!

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Graham Kinross
21:17 Feb 16, 2023

He wasn’t being careful with his huge suitcase and it meant he tripped on the stairs with it. It wasn’t her, I didn’t show that very well but she was still in their room when he fell.

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Annalisa D.
16:22 Feb 16, 2023

"He wilted, an alpine flower in the scorching desert sun" I really love this line. Beautiful description. "He turned his head, but he can’t look at her" I think this is supposed to be he couldn't look at her. A small tense shift thing. I'm bad at them myself so I feel uncertain. In that paragraph I was thinking about the tenses a bit because some seemed potentially off. They felt a little more present than past. Might be worth another look. I didn't see that end coming. That's a tough situation all around and I can't help but wonder if b...

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Graham Kinross
21:12 Feb 16, 2023

Thanks. I’m annoyed seeing all of the typos in this because I was rushing and now it’s been approved I can’t edit it.

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Annalisa D.
22:54 Feb 16, 2023

Yeah, I hate that feeling of submitting something or even sending an important email or something and then noticing the mistake. It's definitely annoying to not be able to make changes. It is hard not to rush with these prompts since you only get a week. I think it's really good and reads well though. You can fix it up if you decide to submit it to other places too.

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Graham Kinross
23:56 Feb 16, 2023

I’ll see. Haven’t found anywhere I want to submit other stuff though. I like that on reedsy whether you win or lose your story is shown and gets feedback.

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Annalisa D.
01:33 Feb 17, 2023

Yeah that is really nice. It is a good place to post stories. I think having readers is the more important part. Especially since a lot of places just reject without any feedback so you don't know what to do to improve. I'm not sure another option either. I just try to edit my stories and save better versions in case I ever want to do something with them or find something. Like a couple months ago I saw a contest that fit one and tried there. It ended up getting rejected but it's just nice to have things around in case since deadlines can be...

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Graham Kinross
06:07 Feb 17, 2023

I’ve submitted to a lot of competitions and the lack of feedback just got too frustrating. I’ll try again but at least with reedsy I get motivation to keep going and feedback on what works and what doesn’t. I’m hoping I’ll see more of your stuff here as well at some point, though I understand focusing on your novel. It’s a big undertaking. Reading yours and Lily Finch’s stuff got me going back to mine after a break. Thanks for that.

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Suma Jayachandar
05:57 Feb 16, 2023

Quite a few strong emotions you have managed to capture here without them coming across as overdone, Graham. That is quite a feat. But I guess it comes naturally to a prolific writer like yourself. A very intense story with a killer twist at the end. Well done!

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Graham Kinross
05:58 Feb 16, 2023

Thanks, Suma.

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Michał Przywara
21:39 Feb 15, 2023

Great! A very believable opening and argument, highlighting just how complex love and life can get. How you can both want and not want the same thing at the same time. Up to and through the argument, this was a fine, tense drama of a marriage falling apart. And then the twist :) Oh, what a horrid choice she's faced with, and what misfortune for him either way. No winners here, just misery.

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Graham Kinross
23:45 Feb 15, 2023

Thank you.

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Amanda Lieser
17:31 Feb 14, 2023

Oh my god! This sorry! Graham! Although I love your sci fi works and fantasy, I think these dramatic realistic stories that you come up with are simply breathtaking. Can I manage to pick a favorite line!? Oh my heavens, I wrote down like four. So I loved that line about him on the bed like a used condom, and that fight scene was superb, the final paragraph was perfectly gut wrenching, but my favorite went to: She drew the covers up around herself as armour. This piece was beautiful and pure in its tragedy. I found myself retracing all of t...

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Graham Kinross
21:48 Feb 14, 2023

Thank you for making that point. One person makes the decision to be unfaithful but the groundwork is often laid by lack of communication within the relationship. It’s a tough thing to talk about. I think it’s usually a sign that the relationship wasn’t working anyway.

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Keith Maynard Jr
04:06 Feb 14, 2023

Damn you. Dude got the raw end of that deal, that's for sure. An excellent tale. This makes one wonder about love. The wife's choice is a hard one, can one truly love what is but a shell. Will you not seek comfort in another? Is true love so powerful that it will transcend fate? Can it laugh at history and bring joy to the wary?

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Graham Kinross
04:38 Feb 14, 2023

Thanks, Keith.

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Susan Catucci
14:23 Feb 13, 2023

Rip my heart out and stomp on it however many times. The power of love. This is so fully realized, Graham, not one word wasted. Frighteningly real. A story like this one, all those tears - his, for something lost; hers, for being wrong and wronged; the other hers, for trying to do the right thing but having it all turn out wrong - will stay with me. I'll try to count my blessings harder and more often, at least for today. That's a gift.

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Graham Kinross
22:48 Feb 13, 2023

Thank you, Susan. I’m glad it spoke to you.

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Helen A Smith
08:03 Feb 12, 2023

This was powerful stuff. You conveyed the complex emotions experienced by everyone well. Especially the unsatisfying compromises that often have to be made in long-term relationships. The ending was unexpected too. Some great lines: “He wilted, an alpine flower in the scorching desert sun.” “He sat like a discarded condom on the bed.”

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Graham Kinross
10:24 Feb 12, 2023

Thanks Helen. It’s more final than I was planning until the prompt about choosing to turn something off or not.

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Helen A Smith
11:01 Feb 12, 2023

It’s not easy to let go of great characters.

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Graham Kinross
22:46 Feb 12, 2023

No. You don’t have to tell me. I’m on number 78 for one of my series now.

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Angela Pirozzi
13:06 Feb 10, 2023

Ohhh. I didn't see the lover coming to shoot him! Good story. I'm not big on romance, but this had a ring of truth to it. He lost his life, thrice in one day!

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Graham Kinross
13:08 Feb 10, 2023

Thank you. Shoot him?

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Angela Pirozzi
14:05 Feb 10, 2023

Omg! I interpreted the bang as a shot! I thought the lover shot him to rid herself of the temptation! Lol! My bad. But still great story. Just my twisted imagination getting ahead of me. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face!

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Graham Kinross
22:16 Feb 10, 2023

Ah, that was just the bang of a heavy suitcase falling down the stairs. Thank you for reading it.

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Tommy Goround
16:47 Feb 08, 2023

Hmmm... This seemed like romance genre (because a high drama like Love Story or Norwegian Wood is able to stretch out in novel length)...the mid section is too practical not to be drama. I left, I came back, and was happily confused at the end. 3 days to go. Seems like you want: -* time delineation/demarcation before hospital, after wife discusses life support and leaves, before lover comes to visit. (a total of two demarcations in the last few paragraphs). - heart hearted:;;> hard hearted? In the first five paragraphs I had copy and pas...

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Graham Kinross
21:19 Feb 08, 2023

Thanks, Tommy.

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Lily Finch
12:56 Feb 07, 2023

Ooh, Graham. A well-written story of what happens when all is lost. Nobody is happy at the end of this tale. This leaves the reader feeling uneasy. Which is great from a writer's perspective. Thanks for the good read. LF6

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Graham Kinross
21:24 Feb 07, 2023

If only the wife had a life insurance policy for the husband, at least there would be a silver lining. It would probably look like she’d murdered him that way though.

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Lily Finch
21:38 Feb 07, 2023

That will be the sequel. Go for it, Graham. LF6.

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Graham Kinross
22:21 Feb 07, 2023

Torture her more? Evil. I like it.

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Lily Finch
01:58 Feb 08, 2023

Hehehehe LF6

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Graham Kinross
02:01 Feb 08, 2023

Kill your darlings? Too kind I guess.

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Tommy Goround
16:49 Feb 08, 2023

It would cheapen it. Really really dilute the power stroke. You brought out the complexities of a relationship and even use some cliches and romancing language.... I find that your current character motivations and results remind me of Hemingway. If you add money or anything you will severely dilute this very strong story. My only challenge is the opener because it comes off like high romance. I don't see a fix and once a person sits down and enjoys the story it is a very good story

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Graham Kinross
21:21 Feb 08, 2023

I’ll consider all the ramifications. Thanks for the feedback, Tommy.

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Wendy Kaminski
03:45 Feb 06, 2023

Dark, Graham, and brutally real - not an unimaginable situation for longer-term couples, unfortunately. You've written it extraordinarily well, really highlighting the "no winners" resolution. Of course, few have that particular twist...! I really enjoyed this, though it left me a little melancholy, having seen this tear people apart before. Which, I think means it's really well-done, if people feel something, so ... nice one! (I liked "Formula" at the top, too - another good one! :)

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Graham Kinross
03:46 Feb 06, 2023

Any typos?

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Wendy Kaminski
04:00 Feb 06, 2023

I didn't catch any, and you know that is like a 2nd hobby to me. Not saying I couldn't have missed some, but certainly nothing jarred.

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Wendy Kaminski
04:02 Feb 06, 2023

Oh wait, I found one. You seem to have typed "lift" when I think you meant "elevator." (*grin*)

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Graham Kinross
05:39 Feb 06, 2023

*Slow clapping* Okay. Very good. If that’s it then I’m not doing so bad, unlike the MC.

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Wendy Kaminski
05:55 Feb 06, 2023

lol :)

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Tommy Goround
16:16 Feb 08, 2023

Graham... I think you like the line by line and workshop feedback. Can you put an email in bio? I didn't see one

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L M
05:39 Feb 18, 2023

This is very different from yout usual stuff. Very dramatic. I didnt think he would be almost dead at the end. Whats uo with that?

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Graham Kinross
09:11 Feb 18, 2023

Thanks. I wasn’t going to have that ending but I needed something about someone hitting a button to fit the prompt. It’s not too out of nowhere is it?

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L M
00:48 Feb 19, 2023

No. It seems like the kidnd of time when someone mught have an accident. That seens real enough.

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Graham Kinross
02:32 Feb 19, 2023

Thank you.

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L M
08:04 Feb 21, 2023

Youre welcome

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Graham Kinross
05:59 Feb 15, 2023

So many typos.. rushed.

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