Who I am Today

Title: Who I am Today

Author: Haripriya

Authors Note: Hello everyone! I hope you are all having a great Sunday! I took a bit more of an interesting take on this prompt. I didn't really write this as a story, but more of an inspirational piece. I wanted everyone reading this to also feel appreciated by themselves and to show appreciation to their own families. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoy this short story!

Have you ever felt undeserved by your own family? Unappreciated? Always been told that you forgot to do this or it would look better if you did this all the time, even when you think it's good? I have, and frankly, I used to hate that feeling of always never meeting their expectations. Sometimes, I felt like they expect too much from an average girl, who's highest score since the beginning of school was 80%. I used to get really mad when they say things like why can't you be more like your cousin? or can't you behave properly? because it made me feel bad about myself. Like I was never worth it. 

So you can imagine me and my family members not really getting along with one another. Every time I started a conversation with them, hoping to talk in a calm and peaceful tone would eventually end with shouting, hollering, and quarreling. That was how it was. Even if I came to ask for a snack, or asked them for a mere pencil, it would usually end with chaos and ruckus. Sometimes, I feel like the entire world can hear what's going on inside our house. Actually, maybe that is why our neighbors always shoot a weird look at us, almost saying we don't want to even come close with you weirdos (I am still researching on that though!!). 

But the problem was I didn't understand why they would always scold me because I was a very good kid at school (not in terms of academics, but mostly in behavior) and all the teachers adored me (at least I think so). I was constantly thinking of the reason why they would just randomly start yelling at me for something I didn't do. It just never seemed to make sense to me. 

Soon, I started to think if my family just didn't like me in general. Thoughts, negative thoughts started to fill my brain. Things like, maybe they don't want me around or maybe I am not good enough like the other family members. I was so desperate to know the reason why they would yell at me when they knew I didn't do anything wrong, and when I knew I didn't do anything wrong. I was starting to get really frustrated, and couldn't really focus on any of my schoolwork. I was too busy, thinking about the reason why my family members would criticize me. 

I was in deep thought. I was so desperate to know the reasons for what I did wrong. Thought really hard about all of my actions, and how it may have affected my mother and father. Maybe the way I was acting towards them might have been a little rude? Whatever the reason was, I tried to make sure to carefully think before I do anything, because I didn't want them to scold me again, and make me feel bad about myself. Honestly, I took this investigation so seriously that I even started to meditate and I learned how to do yoga. 

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I remember that one day in my reading class, all of my classmates were discussing the class book we were reading. The discussion topic/question was "How does the perspective of the book, impact the reader's understanding of the book? How does it impact the characters and the setting in the book?". It took me a while to come up with an answer, but that wasn't my main focus for this moment. In retrospect, I see why my teacher always emphasized the fact that you need to analyze all points of view. Not just in reading or writing, but in real life too.

I understood my mistake immediately, because for all those years, I have only been acting, and doing things the way I felt right, and how I wanted to. But I never even stopped to think about how my behavior might make the other person feel and think about me. I had finally figured out what was wrong with me! Now I knew why my parents, and grandparents, and my aunts and uncles would always say things like these! If only I had understood this sooner, I would have tried to become a better person.

Luckily, from that day, I have always been trying to become the best self I can ever be. Always being mindful of others, and myself. Thinking many steps ahead before doing or saying something I regret, and trying to control my emotions by practicing yoga. After taking all these precautions, I have found that I have become a better person myself, and I feel much more proud and happier about myself. My mood and my school performance have also increased and become much better than before. It was almost like I was a completely different person!

But not only my transformation is the biggest news, but the fact that I finally understood why they were scolding me! They wanted me to grow, and become a better person. They were giving me feedback and suggestions to change into a kinder person. Previously, I always thought that they were constantly yelling at me because they didn't like me, or because I was always a mistake to them. But soon I realized that they yelled at me because they wanted me to change in a good way. They were telling me advice and only wanted me to benefit from it.

From that day onward, I started feeling more appreciative towards myself and started to properly appreciate everyone in my family for being the best people I can ever ask for and even more. My family was always pushing me to be the best I can be because they believed in me. They believed that I could do all of these things and more. Everyone in my family always expected so much from me because they had full faith in me that I could achieve, and reach the top. Ever since that day, I have always felt proud of my family for being who they are, and for me for being who I am. 

Thank you to my family for shaping me into the kind person I am today.

~The End~