It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun. I looked out the window. The sky was tar-black and the large clouds were moving towards me. I heard a tapping on the window and then it became a pitter-patter. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade was beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud were forming, blotting out the old-gold colour of the sun.
I was too tired and so sad, her voice echo hesitated in my head, she died by drowning, it was just like a part of my body that broke down. She told me many times to teach her to swim, I wanted it a lot but I was just avoiding her all time; if just I told her, maybe.... she wouldn't die.
Suddenly, a strange voice said "IF YOU COULD TURN BACK TIME, DO YOU BLEIVE YOU CAN STRAIGHTEN OUT THE ERRORS AND MISTAKES AND..... SAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND?", "Yes, of course I want it a lot if it's possible" I said powerfully. Then, The sound disappeared, so, I went to my bed to sleep.
The next day, I woke up to the sound of birds singing, the sky was as blue as the sea, the weather was clear and the sun send its rays. I went out to walk a little bit. Abruptly, I heard my friend's voice saying
"Hey, Imane, where are you going? what are you doing?", I turned back and she was really my friend Eva, I was shoked because she died and I attended her funeral just yesterday.
"I'm going to the swimming pool, do you want to go with me?" she asked me but I didn't answer her, I was suprised and she continued " Forget what I said to you. You should come back home and rest. OK?" and she ran away. I didn't understand anything, so, I went to my home. After 10 minutes, my mother told me that she died.
I woke up to the sound of birds singing, the sky was as blue as the sea, the weather was clear and the sun send its rays. I went out to walk a little bit. "One minute! What it's going on?"
"YOU WANTED TO GO BACK IN TIME AND I CARRIED OUT. NOW, IT'S YOUR TURN. THE LAST TIME YOU WENT BACK IN TIME BUT YOU FAILED, SHE DIED AGAIN. WHEN YOU FAIL YOU WILL COME BACK AGAIN AND AGAIN, BUT YOU HAVE JUST THREE ATTEMPTS. YOU SHOULD SAVE HER! HURRY UP!" the strange voice said.
"Well, I should save her, but how?.....Yes, I know. I should accept to teach her to swim" I whispered.
I was too late, so, I ran to the swimming pool, a crowd gathered on it, and I heard someone yelling that there is a girl who is drowning. I rushed and I jumped to save her but the swimming pool was too deap for me. I was trapped underwater, swirling around me in glowing colours, shining fluorescent in the starlight.I felt a longing, longing like I had never dreamed before. It was an ache in my chest, one different to the pain it was causing me not to breathe. I was desperate. Deep, deep blue, rolling swirls of water, weaving around me like dye. Pain shot through me like an arrow as I was tossed like a ragdoll. The waves threw me up, up, until my head broke out of the thrashing waves. The wind screamed to me, shrieking for me to escape. I screamed in return with the last of my breath as the water sucked me back down into the depths of my terror. Eyes open, the minutes passed as if they were an eternity. One last image glowed brightly, and then slipped away, leaving me with nothing. Consciousness gone. World gone. Life gone.Darkness reigned.
I woke up to the sound of birds singing, the sky was as blue as the sea, the weather was clear and the sun send its rays. I went out to walk a little bit again. "I should save her, I should go now" and at once, I saw her so far away. Then, I ran, ran and ran. "Just say it," I silently reminded myself. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't and I sream "Eva, I'll teach to swim, I'm so sorry for everything. Don't go please. I'll do anything for you to teach you". I felt unparalleled psychological comfort. "Did I save her? Did I do it? Can I see her daily again?" a lot of questions came to my mind but I didn't have any answers.
A gentle soft voice woke me up saying "Imane, are you ok? Do you feel better? I'm with you, don't worry. I can teach myself you are not forced. Just rest", it was my friend Eva, so, I cried pathetically "NO. I'll teach you, I want that, please". All presents began to laugh and I was in the hospital. "When you screamed that you'll teach me and when you gave me your apologies, you lost consciousness, so, I called the ambulance to take you.....And now, we should go, the doctor said that you should rest."
"I DID NOT THINK THAT YOU WILL SUCCESED IN YOUR MISSION.I LOST FAITH IN YOU. BUT YOU PROVED THE OPPOSITE. YOU SAY IT FINALLY. LOOK, WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY ANYTHING JUST SAY IT. DON'T BE SHY. YOU DID IT. WELL DONE.MISSION COMPLET."
After five years, Eva won the award for best swimmer internationally. I was so proud of her, she wanted it a lot and she did it finally. I realise that I, we should say what we wanted to say before we ran out of time. Just say it before it's too late. Life is short. There is no time to leave important words unsaid. Take it as a lesson and a rule in your life. Just say it.
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38 comments
It is a really beautiful story! However, there are minor grammatical mistakes. That aside, I enjoyed reading this a lot😁
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Thank you. I'll try to do not do this mistakes in future!! I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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Hey, I saw that you follow me so I decided to check your story so here I am. I will be direct. Your story is no doubt a very good one but i find some errors that can be corrected for e.g she died and I attended her funeral just yesterday. This could be written like I was shocked because I had attended her funeral yesterday. :) And Eva, I'll teach to swim, should be, I'll teach you how to swim. Also I find some spelling errors. Keep writing and sharing your stories ❤
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Thank you a lot. Yes, I know that there is many mistakes because I'm not English and also I just study too hard to learn English. I always do my best and thanks again!! 💜💜 I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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We are all in learning phase.. so no worries.. and I would love to read more stories from you❤
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And thank you for correcting me!!
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Great job!! Loved the story and it was an interesting idea. The way you narrated the story was good too.😃😃💜💜
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Thank you a lot for your comment!! Me too I like your storie!! I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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Good story👍
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Thank you!! 😊😊 I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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I'll surely check it out!
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Enjoyed your story. Brought back a memory of an incident in my life. A few spelling errors, but like I say when your imagination is in full gear I don't pay attention to such. Many in mine. Well done
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OHH! Thank you! Yes, I know that I do many mistakes because I'm just a new writer so...😅😅. I think that this incident wasn't too bad for you, and if it was bad, I'm so sorry!!😔😔 And thanks again! I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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Intriguing concept! I'm glad she saved her friend. Could benefit from proofreading for typos and grammar errors--this will help make your future stories easier to read
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Yes, I know that there are too many errors in my storie because firstly, I'm not English and I try hard to learn English language and secondary, I'm a new writer. I'll try to do not do mistakes in my future stories and thanks again!! 😊😊 I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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That's very courageous of you to write in English when it isn't your first language! Keep working at it, and it will get easier the more you write. If you know someone who knows English well, you could also ask them to proofread your stories. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
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Oh really. I'll do that! Thanks for your encouragement!! 👍👍🙏🙏
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You are very welcome!
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Hi there, a great story! I liked the fact that you are using your own name as the character :) Would you mind checking my recent story out too? Thank you!
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Hello! Thank you a lot! Sure. I did it! 🥰🥰 I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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Very interesting concept. I really like how it's written.
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Thank you Catherine! You encourage me. I really like your stories too. THANKS A LOT I hope that you see my new story and like it also ....
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You're very welcome! Any time you need some encouragement...! I will definitely give your works a read.
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Thank you! 😍😍
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Of course! 😄😊
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Awwn... This is a really lovely story. I love the time travel scene, too. I saw a typo where you said the pool was too deap instead of deep. Overall, great job. I hope to read more from you!
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Oh really! I didn't think that it was great because I'm just a new writer. I like also your stories, they're so beautiful. Now, I'm writing an other one and I hope that you like it also!! And THANKS A LOT !! 😍😍
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You're welcome. I also didn't think my first series were great but in the two months I've been writing on reedsy, I've grown and become confident in my work. I look forward to reading more of yours. Keep it up!
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Thank you. OK. I'll write more stories because of your encouragement. Thank you again!! I hope that you like my new story also, I still working for it!😍😍
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I loved the repetition throughout the story of "I woke up to the sound of birds singing." The "If I had it to do all over again" theme made it interesting, and the final paragraph was very moving to me.
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Thanks a lot. I always try hard to write the best things. 😍😍😍
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You needn't apologize for being a new writer. Everyone makes mistakes. That is what spellcheck and Hemingway are for. You have heart for your characters and that is something hard to teach. I don't know any school that can transmit the skill of getting readers to care for your characters. Keep it up!
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Oh really? thanks a lot. I still learning this language and I thought that if I write it will be like a practice and I enjoy it a lot. Just I apologize because there are some people who don't stand my mistakes that why....
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This is such a lovely story full of hope! I’ve seen in the comments that you’re not a native English speaker so I’m really impressed at how good your English is. There are typos and grammar mistakes but this is something you’ll get better at with time. I’ve seen people suggesting ‘grammerly’ as a website that has helped them. Your description in the first paragraph is stunning too.
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Oh, Thanks a lot. Your words mean a lot for me, thank you for your encouragement..... Yes, I study too hard to do not make mistakes in my stories. And you can check also the other story "Anpanman..." I hope that you like it also... And thanks again! 👍👍
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Hi Imane! GREAT story! Such a sweet and beautiful story! Loved your story concept! It was really good!😉😊 Keep writing and have a great day Imane!❤️️
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Thank you Harshini!!! I'll do my best.....Thanks again 🌸🌸🌸🌸
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You're welcome Imane!😊
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