6 comments

Thriller Mystery

The hallway was full of footsteps, the clicking of high heels, and the stomping of dress shoes. Men in suits, women in dresses, all dressed to impress. The Indy Law Firm was a well renounced, and prestigious law firms, it’s considered one of the best in the world. If you worked there you were somebody, if you got a lawyer form there you were somebody; after all their motto is “You are somebody!” The law firm’s building was huge about 30 stories, it was a magnificent building! The easiest way to the top is the elevator altho people on the lower floors took the stairs. I took the elevator, being one of the best lawyers in the firm my office was towards the top, on the 27th floor to be exact, so I took the elevator. I turned left and walked down a corridor to the elevators, surprisingly almost no one was there. I walked up and pressed the button with the arrow facing up, the button illuminated and I stepped back. A ding was heard to mark the arrival of the elevator, the doors opened and I stepped in. A young woman walked in behind me and the doors closed sealing us in. I pressed the button for the 27th floor, the woman pressed the 30th floor, and the elevator jolts and swiftly takes us upward.


The elevator was silent except for the occasional rattling of the pulley and the poor elevator music. The elevator went up and up for what seemed like forever, we rode up past the 20th floor, then the 21st and the 22nd till we soon passed the 25th floor. The lady steps towards the door preparing to get off, the elevator jolts again and stops. The music quits playing and the lights flicker out, the girl gave a shout of surprise. I started to reach for my phone, I heard rustling, which I assumed was the woman doing the same. The second my fingers brushed the phone I heard a blood-curdling scream. I quickly pulled the phone out and turned the flashlight on, as soon as I had I wished I hadn’t. I dropped the phone in shock, and it landed face down the flashlight facing up. The flashlight gave enough light to see the girl by the door laying on the ground, her arms and legs were scratched up as if a giant cat had clawed her. Her face was also clawed, to the point where you couldn’t even tell her identity. I quickly turned around, facing the corner, I threw up my lunch. When I turned around again, I was not sure what to do, I closed my eyes to think for a moment, to breath. When I opened them the girl’s head was gone. I screamed and threw my hands over my face, when I looked again her right arm was gone too. I stood there in shock as the darkness seemed to consume her limbs one by one, the darkness soon started to creep up her legs, and soon her whole body was gone. I quickly scrambled to grab my phone off the ground, before I could reach it a hand with knife-like fingers grabbed it. I saw only the hand as it covered the flashlight and the elevator turned pure black.


The light flashed and the phone ringed, he grabbed the phone from its holder on his desk and answered, “Yes?”

“Sir just letting you know we have the elevator’s working again.” He leaned back in his chair, “What was the problem with them this time?”

“The elevator’s power was cut, the same as the last time, but it’s up and running again. We should be fine, we have checked everything.” His brow creased as a question appeared in his mind, “Any idea why it keeps happening?”

“Absolutely no clue, we aren’t sure what’s causing it, all we know is that it keeps stalling up.”

“Was anyone in there?”

“Thankfully no, no one was in the elevator when it stalled up.”

“Thank god, thank you for letting me know. You will receive your payment shortly.” He puts the phone down onto the holder ending the call.

“This is the third time this month that an elevator has gone out.” He leans forward and stands up from his chair, he walks to the office doors and pushes them open, “Georiga, I’m going for lunch.” he gets no answer. He walks to his secretary’s desk and see’s she is not there. “Georiga?” he looks around, her bag and coat are not on the hook, like usual. He sighs, “Why isn’t she here yet?” He pushes open another set of doors and walks out into the hallway, he passes by a huge window that looks out onto the city, it was a good view he had, from the 30th floor. He walks towards the elevator, his stomach growling as he realized how hungry he was. He passes by a few people on the way, they all nod to him respectfully as he does the same.

He steps up to the elevator’s doors and pushes the arrow button to go down, it lights up. He pulls out his phone and starts looking at emails, when the elevator arrives he barely lifts his head from his phone as he walks onto the elevator. He pushes the button for the 1st floor and the doors slide shut, the elevator slowly starts to glide downwards. He shuts off his phone and places it in his pocket, he checks his watch as he leans against the wall. For a while, he listens to the almost silent elevator music, before it starts to crackle then cut out. He looks up and the lights start to flicker, he watches in confusion as the elevator slows down and stops n=in a jerking motion. He hears a scratching noise and looks up towards the ceiling, he notices the corner panel. It seemed like the panel was moving, he cautiously starts to walk towards it. When he’s right under the panel he looks up and the lights die, the goes rigged as he’s plunged into darkness.


September 06, 2020 18:08

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6 comments

15:41 Sep 09, 2020

I love this story!! You really have a way with words because your writing is sooo descriptive. I love the plot, but maybe break up the paragraphs a bit more? Walls of words make people tend to skim. Anyways, awesome job! Keep writing! ~Aerin P. S. Would you mind checking out my newest story? Thanks!

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Zea Bowman
16:31 Sep 18, 2020

Wow! I really enjoyed reading this story; it was so full of great descriptions, and I loved the way you ended it! I know that right now I'm going to be one of the annoying people that asks you to read my story (or stories), but it would be a big help. Don't feel like you have to :)

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18:07 Sep 17, 2020

Please excuse the few typos, I am no longer able to edit it.

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Aubrey Maria ✌
15:15 Sep 17, 2020

I really liked this! When you included little details in the different scenes, really brought the story to life.

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Lonnie Larson
02:20 Sep 17, 2020

very nice. It was an easy read for me. i liked the suspense, the not knowing what was going on made it a good thriller. Keep writing.

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Maggie Deese
23:19 Sep 16, 2020

Beautiful story, Danika! The style of your writing is extremely lyrical, making this a gorgeous read. Your descriptions were lovely, as if I were right there with your characters. You executed the tension really well and I was left wanting more. Wonderful job!

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