The windows were rattling, the curtains were hovering, and the fierce screeching sound of wind and the colliding of the raging clouds increased the tautness in the atmosphere. The rain got brutal and the thunderstorm aggressive, but it was nothing compared to the storm that was brewing inside Rachel.
Rachel was sitting on the couch, her hands covering her ears. Her blond hair was messed up. She was staring vacantly in the air, incapable of thinking of anyone else other than Mike. She couldn’t get him out of her mind. She didn’t know how she assumed that she would be happy without him.
Her eyes were all dry but swollen from the weeping she had done for the past 4 hours. She suppressed a sob and got up to make herself a coffee, so she could feel a bit better, though she knew it wouldn’t be any help.
She manoeuvred back to the couch, coffee mug in her hands. She put it down and sat quietly. She was just staring at the mug when she got a flashback of a memory:
‘What’s wrong, baby?’ Mike asked sitting beside her. It was night, and they were both sitting in the lounge.
‘I don’t know, I am just tired.’ Rachel said wearily.
Mike came after 5 minutes with two mugs of coffee in his hand, ‘here, drink up, you’ll feel better.’
‘Thanks.’ She said gratefully. She leaned back but then straight up because she just noticed Mike was glaring at her. ‘What?’
He chuckled, ‘you know what? When you are sad, you look like a cute little sad bunny.’
‘Shut up.’ She gave her a look and instead of leaning back, she adjusted her head on his chest, ‘I love you.’
‘' I love you too, baby.’
Rachel didn’t realize that she had again started crying. Tears were flowing from her eyes, she was missing him too much. She was just sick of this life, she just couldn’t live without him. She vowed herself that she would go and apologize for the terrible mistake she had committed. She wiped away the tears and tried to clear her mind.
Time flew by, and she fell asleep continuously mumbling Mike’s name in her sleep.
When her eyes tore open, it was because of the persistent ringing of the telephone. She got up, her head throbbing and her neck aching, she went to the telephone and picked it up, ‘hello?’
When she heard what the other person said, it was like her heart beat had stopped, the whole world just fall apart and she lost control of herself, the telephone fell down with a ’thunk', and her legs gave away. It was like she was about to die, she was on the floor, fallen in a frenzied way. She found the strength and ran for her purse. She started the engine and drove like crazy.
‘Mike! I don’t want you anymore! Okay? Now go.’
Rachel's hands were going numb, she didn’t know how she was managing to drive. She couldn’t believe she said that to Mike.
HOW COULD SHE??? She was loathing herself for that. She just wanted to die. What if he.....? NO WAY! She scolded herself. And tried to calm herself down.
‘OHHHHH! Mike! Please be okay.’ She prayed under her breath.
As she arrived at the hospital, she killed the engine and got out of the car, running all the way to his room, pushing many others. Before opening the door, she took a deep breath and then entered.
Rachel carefully closed the door behind her and tiptoed to his bed. She could just see his back and wavy black hair. She didn’t want to wake him so she just sat beside him with tears running down, trying hard not to make any noise.
‘So, you came.’ She was scared out of her wits, she didn’t have a clue that he was awake all the five minutes in which she resisted herself from touching him.
‘Y…yeah.'" She stuttered. She wished he didn’t act as if he didn’t care in the world about her. He didn’t say anything after that. They just sat there with the heavy and unbearable silence between there.
‘Mike?’ She murmured at last killing the silence that hung between them.
No reply.
‘Mike?’ She tried once more, hating herself more and more every passing second for what she said to him that day.
Come on, Mike. She thought and decided to try just one more time. ‘Mike?’ And this time there was a reply, but she wished that he had never spoken.
‘Do. Not. Call. Me. That. Again,’ It took time for Rachel to understand what he had said. Rachel stared at him hurt but this time he wasn’t done yet. ‘I am not your Mike anymore.’ He said emotionlessly and pretended that he had gone to sleep.
She sat there stupidly, her mind nudging her to let go, but she hadn’t come to go back. She wouldn’t budge until he forgave her.
‘Okay then, Michael Bonnet?’ She inquired courageously, and miraculously Mike turned, got up on one elbow, so now he was half sitting leaning back on his pillow. She gasped at the sight of his because his other side of his head was all plastered. She was speechless.
‘Yes, Rachel Waters?’ He prompted in Mike’ish way, folding his hands.
‘I am sorry.’ She said sheepishly. She locked her gaze in his sky-blue eyes, eyes that melted her from the inside and gave her the feeling that no one was luckier than her.
‘I really am, Mike, please.’
‘What?’
‘I love you.’
‘Why?’
‘Hun?’
‘Why?’ he repeated
‘Why are you playing around?’
‘What? You don’t even know that why do you love me? Huh?’ he smirked.
‘Okay, you want to hear me out? Right then listen. I love you because I can’t help myself. You, Michael Bonnet, are the world to me. You are more precious than anything I have ever owned. You are the one whom I love most among all others. You are the most amazing person that has ever lived in this universe, you are the best husband anyone can get. You are the one whom I am made for. Mike, you are my life. And yes, you are more handsome than anyone. Mike, I am incomplete without you, I really can’t live without you. You are the only reason I am still alive.. Mike, these empty and meaningless words are nothing in front of what I feel for you. You are the happiness of my life, you are the reason for my smile, you are the color in my story, and you are the thumping of my heart. I just realized how important you are to me, Mike, you won’t believe these two days which I spent without you were worse than hell. They were nightmares that are going to haunt me till my death. Every second was a struggle for me. I can’t live a second apart from you now, those days are enough for me to teach me a lesson. I am sorry. It was just a misunderstanding, and at that time I was a bit pissed off, I said that stuff when I wasn’t in my mind. Please.’
‘' I am more handsome than anyone, right?.’ Mike said teasingly, grabbing her hand. There was a glint of a smile on his face, which has lit up his whole face making it glow.
‘Mike!' She said gratefully, 'Yes, you are absolutely the most handsome guy ever.’ Rachel couldn’t believe her luck. It wasn’t that hard. It was as if she had come to heaven, she was suddenly so happy. She was the luckiest girl ever to have him. She could lose anyone but him.
‘Why are you staring at me like that?’
‘Excuse me. I am staring at my wife, any problem with that?’ He raised an eyebrow.
'Right, keep staring.' She said lightly.
'Rachel?'
'Yes?'
Michael turned around and faced her, holding both of her hands tightly but gently.he said,
‘You know what, whenever I look at you, I am reminded of flowers, the colorful ones, the ones with the sweet scent, the ones who spread their freshness to others. You know what my favorite flower is, her name is Rachel Waters. You are beautiful and charming like a flower, delicate and fragile like its petals. Your honey-colored eyes send chills through me, I can stare at them for my whole life never getting bored. Your skin glows like moon's, you spread your overwhelming warmness everywhere wherever you go.
If you ever stood amidst the vibrant flowers and lively trees, my little fairy will still be visible to me, everyone there will bow to you and welcome you. You will make that place more charming by your presence. I will take my flower in my hands and feel like the happiest man on the earth to have such a pretty fairy as a wife. You win everyones heart with your pure and kind one. Even, the garden will be aptly staring at you, awed by your gracefulness, your gorgeousness but then suddenly everyone will turn their gazes elsewhere.’
‘Hun, why?’
Mike chuckled and pulled her towards him and whispered in her ear, ’baby, because there in the garden I will be going to kiss you.’ He winked at her and planted a kiss on her cheek.
‘Mike!’
And just like that, they both started laughing, turning the hospital’s mourning atmosphere into a cheerful one!
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48 comments
hey, hope u like thsi story. anyways i wanna say that there will be mistakes in it cause i posted it in a bit of hurry. enjoy!
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Your story was really creative. I liked how the first paragraph started off with a metaphor and you immediately jumped into the story. One thing I did catch was you spelled maneuvered wrong in this sentence: "She manoeuvred back to the couch, coffee mug in her hands." For some reason I think 'maneuvered' might be the wrong word choice. Maybe 'sulked' or 'trudged' to give her a bit more oomph ya know? The part where you say, "When she heard what the other person said, it was like her heartbeat had stopped, the whole world just fall apart a...
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yeah i know that it was a bit rushed and i would hv done better with some more details. anyways thnx a million for the feedback. i really appreciate it and it really mean a lot to me. Thanks again! happy writing! <3
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No problem!! *hugs*
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haha XD *in return* <3
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There's some great storytelling in here. Even when some of the background details are a bit vague, it doesn't keep the narrative from moving forward. I especially liked their declarations of love toward the end. Nice little romance.
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Thank you soo much for your time! it really mean a lot to me:)
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Hi Amel, I hope you're working on some more stories. I want to read more of your work like this.
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hey! thnx. u know ur comments really make my day:) i have really lost the ineterest to write more until now. anyways thnx again for your time, comment and for the motivation!
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If you like writing then never give up. It can be difficult to find the time but it’s worth it.
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yesh! sure. <3
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Amazing!! :)
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thank u so much! <3
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:)
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=)
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Oh god! The discriptions!!!!! Wowwwwwww!!!
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Especially the starting!!!
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THANKS!!!!! <3
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YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!! ♡
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=))
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wow, cool story!, tho the monologues were kinda funny, to me, BUT don't mind me, i am weird XD
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haha! thnx! nevermind:) no problem with u being weird cuz i am too XD
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XD
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So swweeet! I loved this!! It was simple and cute, I loved how they made up and when they were saying what they loved about each other, that was also really beautiful too! My critique is to break up some of your huge paragraphs, its easier to read, and when you have a dialogue part I suggest using this (") not this ('). But great job on this! You have a unique style! Keep writing Amel!
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THANK U SO MUCH! u dont hv any idea how much your feedback means to me:) thnku again! next time i will make sure to look out for the mistakes. <3
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Of coursee!
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=)
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This is amazing!!! So sweet and beautiful. This sounds like my story I wrote for this prompt:) I can relate to this story and I was on the verge of crying. Love this, thanks.
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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME! i will check it out! oops! sorry:) <3
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Anytime :) No, your good. I'm just a baby when it comes to sad love stories lol.
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Nice story but I missed a deeper explanation about what had caused the separation, why was he in the hospital, and how come they reconciled so suddenly? Maybe there is a very good reason behind all of this, but without it, the relationship looks like a very troubled and dysfunctional one. I'm not sure if that was your intention. That said, the type of "wedding vow" speeches they exchange in the end were very beautiful. A few mistakes I noticed: She gave her a look - should be "gave him a look" whole world just fall apart - "just fell apa...
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yep, u right. and thank you so much for your time. and thnx for pointing out the mistakes! :)
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Yea I didn't know why they broke up, would've been nice if that was included, but overall it made sense and the details of love were great:)
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Thankuuuuuuu! yeah, i just realize that myself.
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This really caught my attention because it was really sweet! Awesome job, Amel!
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thank you soo much. it really mean a lot to me. and anyways thnx for your time. <3
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<3 no problem!
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:)
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💜💜💖💖💕💕 Ooohhh Sweets The story is WOW And your sentences are soooo beautiful , and the structures even❤️ Teach me:) Love it Keep it up 😉
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thnx. am glad that u liked it:) any mistakes u found?
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Nah, not really. bas halki halki typo mistakes theen u really did workk on it. :) I loved the adjectives, and ur sentence forms, i really really really reallly liked them. AMAZING!!! <3
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It REALLY mean a LOT to me. THANK YOU SO MUCH. <3
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:) <3
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nice bio XD
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Ahh u know u just made my day! thanks a million! <3
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