Underwater

In the few seconds between breaking through the top of the water, and filling my lungs with air, the last few hours of my life played through my head. I did not think I would die this way. In fact, death did not cross my mind at all. It was all curiosity and longing.

You see, I could not afford to pass up this opportunity. Back in home in Agartha opportunities rarely presented itself, so when this one appeared, one that I have been wishing for, for a very long time, I simply had to grab it. It almost felt as though my entire existence was defined by dreams of this. I would die unfulfilled if I let this slip by without trying.

I remember it clearly.

As my uncle turned away from me, preoccupied with whatever problem held his attention for the moment, I slipped away and hurried swam up to the entrance to the vortex.

Now, the vortex is something that everyone in the Agartha knew about. It was through this, many believe, our first settlers came and built the city. Some destructive entities had forced them out of their home in an unknown world. They sought a new home and a new life. Somehow, they found the vortex, or perhaps they created it, no one is sure. Either way, stories have it that this city is built exactly as the one the first settlers had left, also called Agartha.

It had to have happened a long, long time ago because no one from then is alive today.  In fact, no one actually knew anything about the vortex. Even those who existed before me and those who existed before them spoke of a vortex, but never discovered the purpose of it, or if anything exist beyond its swirling waters. In fact, no one alive has ever see it! Until now, at least.

Many of us thought it to be nonsense. It has been a long time, and while many people tried to find it, none succeeded.

Its existence has plagued me since my birth. I have always wanted to know everything. I would dream wild dreams about the vortex, about being the first one to find it and enter it. The first one to discover the mystery of it.

Until a short time ago, when it was found, in a way. No one found the vortex in the same sense of having misplaced something and finding it later. It simply appeared.

One day, we all heard a loud noise and felt the entire city shake, and some of us were dragged away by the water, upwards, towards a point high above the city.  

The water above the city simply became dark, and kept swirling with so much force, some of us started crying, some of us starting calling for the king, some of us starting praying to the sprits.

It is quite possible that I was the only one who felt a tingle of happiness and not fear that day. Although, as I swam towards it, fear crept up my tail and settled in my stomach. Yet, I could not stop. I continued to swim towards it. My heart and my mind drove me. I long to see what hid behind the violent waters.

What would happen after? I wonder. Will it be as I hoped? Did I dream too much? Did I dreamed too little? How strange that would be. I smile to myself. My thoughts chased itself, made my head feel like it would explode.

Not one of my people knew what or how beyond the vortex looks like. No one even knows if there is life beyond the vortex. There have been assumptions and stories of course, so there is that, but it is nothing for sure. I mean, our stories tell that we came through the vortex, but not from where. Nor does it tell why or how.

There has always been stories of strange creatures, much like us, that do not speak our mother tongue, but communicate in strange ways. They have tails like us, but that is where the similarity stops. They do not have our hands or faces. Some of them big, some of them small.  Some of them strange looking. Some of them dangerous with sharp teeth and poisonous stings.

There are also stories of strange contraptions that floats around with strange creatures inside of it. Creatures from another world beyond the vortex. In the likelihood that we did come across a vortex, we have always been warned to stay away, it is nothing but dangerous.

Yet those sayings did not stop me.

The vortex was calmer since it started. It did not pull things forcefully towards it anymore. Rather it just exist, tempting, or rather daring us to come closer.

In my case, it has been a command, one made with the promise of sharing knowledge.

As I neared the vortex, the desire to know the unknown became stronger. It kept calling to me, commanding me to come.

I obeyed and went to it.

I got closer and closer. I was was but an arm's length away. I lifted my hand slowly, until I made first contact with it. A strange feeling overtook my body. It was as though I was being pulled apart.

I pulled back, and for the second time felt a tingle of fear. Though, not too much fear, I was still too curious and dear I say desperate to know.

Looking back at my city below, at my home, I committed everything to my memory. The play field where I spent my time with my friends, my old school were we learnt about our history, my friends’ home. The king, my father's court, which should be mine one day, but what value would it be in the hands of someone who did not want it? Someone whose dream was to experience another world? How could such a being truly serve?

From this point, high above the city, I see that one of the guards who accompanied my uncle has detected my absence and has frantically started looking around. Poor guard, I hope he does not get into too much trouble. I also hope my father does not take his anger out on my uncle, it is not his fault. The guard alerted another one, who looked up, and spotted me almost immediately.

I take a deep breath in and say a silent good bye. Then I undergo what I thought was the greatest pain of my life.

I felt as though my body was being torn apart from each other, into smaller and smaller pieces. I did not want to scream, yet the urge was too difficult to deny. I wanted to scream and cry. Instead, I shut my eyes and faced the results of my choice.

I am in pain for what seems like a lifetime. Then suddenly it stops.

I open my eyes, and it is dark. I spread my arms and feel a rough surface. I am lying on something like sand with rocks surrounding me. I am in cave, I think to myself, as I look up at the cave’s roof. I sit up, and look around seeking the vortex. I see it a little distance away from me. It is smaller than it was in my world, my home.

I did not notice it before but the vortex gives off strange glow. I look at it, hoping that I could be able to go back whenever I want to. The thing is, I do not want to go back right now, yet I still feel pained by the thought of not seeing home again. I just want to be able to go back whenever I want to.

I find my way out the cave, still feeling unwell because of the journey through the portal. My body still feels strange, as though it is still putting itself back together after whatever happened in the vortex. My tail fins are strangely tingly, and moving is painful.   

The stories were right about a few things. It is similar to home, but the beings here are much different. Similar but different, and they definitely do not speak my language. They are also not friendly, hiding from me as I go closer to them.

 It is also very dark though, a lot darker than back at home. I try to focus on what is around me, by I am finding hard to focus, because I feel dizzy and unwell, and my tail fin still hurts.

I find that each breath gets harder than the last, while the tingling in my tail gets worse, until swimming becomes too painful to bearable.

Suddenly, I cannot breathe anymore. It is as if my lungs completely closed off . I thrashed around, looking, hoping for someone who would help me. At the back of my mind, I remember that I made the decision to come alone; I wanted to be the first. Now, I shall be not only the first to go through the vortex, but also the first of my people to die here.

I did not know why, but I started moving upwards. Something is wrong with my tail though, I am not moving as I normally do, and the pain is intensifying. I look down at my tail and instead find that my lovely green-blue skin is disappearing, and at points, my tail is coming apart. I tried to scream but I could not. The water flooded my mouth, and flowed down to my throat. How strange this feeling is to feel, when I have live my entire existence in water.

I shut my mouth, not wanting more water to enter it. Then I pushed myself to move upwards, although, I was not sure why.

I have no idea why I needed to reach the top of the water; I just acted in fear and in pain and I had no idea, what other danger awaited me. I kept moving, even though my lungs hurt and my tail hurt, and I regret leaving home.

I felt like crying, I never said goodbye to my father or my uncle. It was a decision I made out of fear that he would stop me.

Suddenly, I reach the top, and I break through the surface…and I can breathe. My lungs fill, and when it empties and I refill it again. Greedy for something I did not know I needed. Afterwards, I try to bring my tail up so that I can see and breathe at the same time, but to my horror, my tail splits apart completely, and I feel a pain even worse than before. I scream now, though I do not realize it. I also cry, and it is strange to feel water running down my face. So many new and painful things to feel in this world.

I reach my hands down to touch my tail, and find something else. I scream again, but not as loud as before. I feel more water coming down my face and out of nose. I wipe at it angrily, ignoring the strangeness of it.

I touch my tail and the scales seem to have completely disappeared, leaving a smooth surface, that is unpleasant to touch, but it is not what I am use to. My one tail is now two tails, with a strange fin that each had additional fins on it.

I have changes in ways I never imagined, and it is due to my own choices.

I try moving my new tail and it is awkward at first, but I can managing moving.

The rest of me still seems to be in working and normal order, so I turn my eyes to the surroundings.

It is still very dark, but I can still see. It is as though there is light from somewhere. I look up, and find it. High above is a light source. It is big and round and gives off a lot of light in the blackness. I wonder how the creatures below reach it, then, I think to myself, that the creatures do not need to reach because it reaches them. I wonder to myself, who put it all the way up there.

Then I see, that in the blackness, there are smaller little lights, all over. It is quite pretty, so many little lights against the blackness. Together, some of them make patterns across the darkness. They are really too pretty for this world that welcomed me with so much pain. Maybe it is not all that bad.

I wonder how much light they give to the creatures below, because they seem so high that they do not reach anything. Again I wonder who put them so high, and why are they meant to be unreachable.

I wonder to myself, if they lead to other worlds, much like my own but would they make me even stranger than I have become. I wonder if any leads back to my home, because despite the prettiness of the lights, I miss my home. I look at the lights for a long time. For some reason, I feel less alone with them.