Fate In The Stars

Submitted into Contest #83 in response to: Write a fantasy story about water gods or spirits.... view prompt

6 comments

Romance Fantasy

I formed every name here, they aren’t real and I imagined the book setting to be kind of Greek. Enjoy!!


It was night in the little town of Gargon, Mesignar turned restlessly in her bed she couldn’t sleep. She sat up in her bed quickly, sweat trickled from her neck down to her back tickling her. She touched her back and retracted her hand quickly, regretting her decision. Her small thin cotton gown now stuck to her back, it was discomforting. Mesignar pulled back her threadbare covers throwing her feet on the floor they were greeted by the coolness of the cemented floor, she savoured the cold until it quickly grew warm. Standing up from the bed and went to her small wood box that housed her only belongings, opening it she brought out her wrap round, put it around her shoulders and opened her room door to leave the house.

Stepping outside barefoot she walked in the direction of the forest. There was a large lake in the forest but people avoided it because of talks about the gods, spirits and the likes guarding it but Mesignar didn’t believe such, she usually went there for dips on hot afternoons and nothing had ever happened to her so far.

When she got there, she couldn’t hold herself from jumping in fully clothed but she held herself down forcefully. The waters shone crystal blue in the moonlight, it looked magical.

She dropped her shawl to the ground and her gown followed. Slowly she let herself into the lake, the coolness kissed her skin. She wished she be carried away with the water that she could be one with it as it wrapped round her enveloping her and in all this she did not notice the pair of eyes that watched her closely.

After she was done immersing herself she came out and dressed. She walked slowly through the forest enjoying music of the night, her wrap round in her hands then she bumped into something hard and tall. Stepping back she noticed it wasn’t a something but a someone, she was surprised it was past midnight how could anyone else be out here.

“Oh my, I am sorry” she said quickly “are you okay?”

“Stop please” the person said calmly. It was a man, she tried to make out the face but it was too dark.

He held her arm “I should be the one asking you all that and not you” he said softly. He had a refreshing timbre in his voice, one that you would want to call your name and that was all she could think of then.

“Oh...h” she stammered flustered “I am fine”

Suddenly the forest seemed to light up and she saw his face “by the gods he was handsome, almost god like” she groaned in her head. The hand on her cheek snapped her out of her thoughts, she looked at the hand then at him and back at the hand, it slid to her chin

“You by far exceed any I have seen” he said thoughtfully

She moved out of his reach “What do you mean?” she asked

“You are extremely beautiful, you beauty cannot be matched by any, even the gods”

Mesignar was baffled she just stared at him like he was stupid, how she be beautiful.

“Are you sure you are not a fallen goddess?”

“What?!”

“Your skin in so clear and your hair glows like gold in the moonlight then your eyes, a striking blue like the deep sea. Are you sure you are not fallen?” he sounded poetic as he reached out to her. She was getting drawn to his voice but she just shook her head fast

“No, I am not fallen, falling or anything” moving out his reach again she asked “who are you by the way?”

She was really confused as to how to handle her situation, no one had ever approached her or called her beautiful let alone noticed her.

“My apologies” he said bowing slightly “I am Conrac”

“I haven’t seen you around before”

“I am a water spirit” he replied coolly

“A what?!” He does look and dress like royalty she thought in her head.

“Water spirit, a demi god in some way” he answered casually again

She panicked moving back she knelt “have I desecrated your water anyway, have you come to punish me?”

Conrac walked forward and pulled her up with one hand

“No I am not here to punish you” he stepped back making space between them “In fact I am here to make you mine” he said seriously without any trace of passion

“You are my betrothed”

“Pardon me sir Contac, but you are mistaken. My mother is too poor to betroth an ugly child like me”

“No need for formalities Mesignar you are my betrothed and” he paused as he held both her arms in one hand and slapped her lightly with the other but it still hurt, dropping her hands he continued

“Do not insult those who are truly ugly by calling yourself ugly”

“How do you know my name” she asked softly as she rubbed her cheek

“I know everyone in this village by name, I am a demigod after all” He had left his serious tone and spoke somewhat teasingly.

“Excuse me, I am sorry but I have to refuse”

Folding his arms he looked down at her and laughed tenderly “see this is not a matter of refusal, your mother had an affair with the water god”

“Wait you mean-”

“Yes, Corisdan the water god you worship. You are the effect of their affair he promised you to my father, one of his many brothers”

“I refuse to be a means to settle my mother’s affair” and with that she walked away back home and Conrac let her, he couldn’t believe someone as beautiful as her was his, he shook his head smiling

As she went back she hugged herself, she felt chilly despite the warm weather.

When she got home she rushed into her room and slammed the door behind her. Standing with her back against the door, she shook all over then she realized she wasn’t with her shawl.

“I must have dropped it in all that frenzy” she muttered quietly to herself as she shuffled to her small bed. She was thinking of getting it back but she didn’t want to meet Conrac again, but then again it was her only shawl.

Slapping her head lightly she lay on her bed already feeling tired, maybe it was all my imagination due to the heat she thought.


The next morning, Mesignar was getting ready to go out and sell at her small stall in the market when someone knocked on the door. She ran to open it no one had ever come to see them except the local news crier that came door to door and it was too early in the morning.

She opened the door smiling but when she saw the person her brows creased to a frown. It was Conrac, she walked back from the door until she was sure they had space between them. Her mother came to see who it was, when she saw him she dropped the fine clay cup in her hands and scurried out the back as it shattered.

“Yes sir Conrac, how may I be of help?”

“Just Conrac, by the way and I believe you dropped this yesterday” he said revealing the shawl he held behind his back.

She snatched it from him and threw it on a bench in the corner of the tiny room

“Anything else?” she asked saucily

“You know from all the times I have watched you, you always seemed quiet and reserved but now you’re seeming rebellious against your own fate”

“This is no fate, it is only an arranged deal by my mother to sell me, her child. Please if there I nothing else I would love for you to leave” she said frustrated

“Will you come to be mine Mesignar?” he asked staring straight into her eyes, his beautiful golden eyes burned into hers and it made her uncomfortable. Looking away she answered with a firm no and managed to shove him out then shut the door. She looked through the window to be sure he had gone and when she was sure she dropped to the floor.

How can anyone be able to resist such a handsome man? She thought. “I don’t even know what I am doing” she groaned out loud.

She was thinking of confirming with her mother first but she never spoke with her. her mother only milled around their tiny house eating and sleeping then forcing money from Mesignar to buy wine and get drunk.

As Mesignar went to the market she stopped by the stall that sold mirrors and actually looked into one, for the first time in a long time, as she pulled back the scarf she always kept tied round her head a little. She couldn’t believe who was staring back at her, she looked really pretty and her hair was almost gold like; Mesignar was startled by her own beauty.

She pushed her scarf back covering her again and stood up straight when she noticed customers coming to the shop, then she walked to her own stall.


That night it was unbelievably hot, hotter than last night. Mesignar wondered how her mother could sleep comfortably through this, maybe it was because she was knocked out drunk. She began to have thoughts of drinking her mother’s wine and getting dead drunk too but she waved it away. Maybe I could go to the lake again she said in her head but an image of Conrac flashed in her mind and she voted against it, she didn’t want to see him so she thought she would just wait it out.    Time passed and she couldn’t sleep a wink, her small threadbare cotton gown stuck clammily to her skin then a wandering mosquito flew in through her open window and began to whisper in her ear, she slapped herself in attempt to catch it.

Rising up from the bed, she had decided she had had enough and that she would go to the lake Conrac or not. She picked up her shawl but dropped it back, it would be too hot to cover herself she thought but she later decided to just carry it in case someone saw her outside, she didn’t want to seem wayward or anything. Stepping outside she made her way to the dreaded yet blissful lake.

“Conrac! Conrac!” Mesignar called standing at the mouth of the lake. He didn’t come out or answer so she called out again to be sure. She planned on taking a quick dip and rush back home but as she let her clothes drop to the floor again she didn’t see the golden pair of eyes watching and once her toes touched the water she knew she wasn’t leaving soon.

As she basked in the cool water resting by the edge of the lake a shadow loomed over her, she turned her face upward slowly in fear. Who could be here at this time besides me she thought fearfully.

Looking up she met those stunning golden eyes, she dipped her herself lower into the water in fear of him seeing her

“Lady Mesignar, I am in quite a shock to see one of your caliber dipping in a mere lake at these ungodly hours and as a matter of fact stark”

“I.. I” she stammered as she went lower her chin barely above the water “Do you mean to mock me si- Conrac” she asked embarrassed

“I do no such Mesignar”

“Would you please pass me my clothes and turn around so I may dress” she shivered. He did so and she dressed then attempted to leave, he pulled her back locking her in an awkward embrace close to him.

“Where are you off to so soon, you haven’t accepted my proposal” he said in his serious tone

“It is a proposal like you said I have a decision to accept or refuse”

“What if I forced you, what if I took you now and made you unwanted by other suitors?” he asked in his plain tone again bending his head closer to hers, he was too close she couldn’t think

“What?” she gasped “you couldn’t, you are too much of a gentleman”

“Who said?” he asked as his eyes glinted in a mischievous way “there is a man in the gentleman you know and with the way you are dressed it could do anything to a sensible man” he replied slyly. She looked down at herself. Her body was still wet so her clothe clinged to her skin and it was very short also

Mesigner shook on her feet he felt it and smiled then let her go, she rushed backwards and fell to the floor kneeling

“Please I beg of you I can’t do such that is marry you” she cried “I can’t leave my poor mother alone”

“Your mother doesn’t like herself, don’t beg for her” he said unkindly

“How do you change your character so quickly? You sound so heartless right now, she is my mother and always will be”

He walked up her and pulled her up on her feet

“Don’t sound so pitiful, you are doing things to my heart” he growled. The way he sounded so scary was the only thing that was going through her head

“Please let me go, please?” she asked in a whisper. He pushed her away his face set in an angry way his brownish hair lit up by the moon light seemed to be turning lightly red, she was so scared she was cold.

“Couldn’t you just tell your uncle it can’t happen and that you don’t love me. We musn’t do this” he looked at her arms folded and scoffed

“My uncle is the water god you people worship, Corisdan. You think I can walk up to him and tell him that and besides” he paused coming closer to her, she moved back more

“Who said I don’t love you Mesignar. You were built for me and me for you, by the gods I have seen all of you, I mean all and I know all about you” he scoffed

“You mean you have always seen me when I come to the lake”

“I will torment your village and everyone will suffer then they would curse whoever caused it. Mesigner it would all be your fault” he sounded cruel

“You can’t”

“I can, look I am giving you now to choose if not-”

She thought about her little village she wasn’t close to anyone, nobody cared about her but she couldn’t see all people in the village working very hard losing everything, the little children suffering for her own fate

“Hey” Conrac said his hand on her cheek “I am sorry for sounding like that, but I do love you I want you and I care about you” then he kissed her forehead. She stood there in shock, stuck to the ground

“You should give yourself credit and accept yourself. You deserve better, I want for your happiness” he bent and kissed her cheek then he looked into her eyes

“I want you to be with me by my side” he kissed her other cheek

Bending his face close to her lips he said “come and be mine Mesignar” His voice was low like a whisper, it was very luring she was tempted.

For that moment the air was still and the whole forest seemed to glow again like it was alive, she thought she could even hear its voice.

“Do you see that? Even the forest spirits want you dear. You are a true goddess”

She began thinking again. She didn’t want anyone to suffer and Conrac was an extremely handsome man, all the village girls would want to have him and she happened to have stumbled upon him and he even wants only her.

Could this be fate or mere coincidence she said in her head. She looked at him bringing her lips closer to his maybe it was fate and she couldn’t fight it right?

“I accept” she whispered close to his lips “no one would miss me when I am gone”

He pressed his lips on hers then freeing her from the embrace, taking her hand he led her into the lake. When they entered it the water was shallow and once her feet touched the water her hair turned golden, shining that it was almost blinding and her clothes changed to an immaculately white long gown like those of the statues of the gods in the shrines. She couldn’t believe herself

“I told you our fates are in the stars” Conrac said as he hugged her closer to himself. She looked to the stars she could see them differently now, nodding quietly she placed her head on his chest and they went up.


Mesignar bolted up from her sleep, the heat was killing her. Sweat trickled down her back from her neck then she touched her back and withdrew her hand quickly, her clothe had stuck to her back she felt really uncomfortable. Shaking the feeling she thought about going to the lake then she stopped as if something hit her in the head, she had a dream and everything that happened there was happening now.

An owl flew and perched on her window, turning she stared at the owl and it back at her.



March 05, 2021 21:17

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6 comments

02:06 Mar 12, 2021

It's a good story but choppy. Several times you used one word in a sentence and again in another. You've used descriptive language but followed it with wordy explanations right after. You should expect your readers will understand what you are saying by the descriptions. I'm starting to suggest this to people now as I make comments. Check out a writing program like Pro Writing Aid. It will help you, like it does me, clean up your story. I've provided a link below. Good luck! https://prowritingaid.com/en/App/Purchase?afid=9573&vc=AIUGPJIBB...

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Ogechukwu Anyaso
21:41 Mar 16, 2021

Thanks so much for reading and also for the critic. I'll try to do better next time and I'll check the writing aid

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22:58 Mar 16, 2021

I hope you don’t take it too critical. I’m only trying to make suggestions. I’ve had to find tools to help me and I just wanted to pass these along to you. Best of luck! Keep me informed when you write your next story. Robert

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Ogechukwu Anyaso
23:00 Mar 19, 2021

No I promise I didn't, thanks again

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Janet Joos
22:36 Mar 10, 2021

Nice fantasy, you need to check through your work a bit more for grammar, mistyping or run on sentences. I‘m not quite sure about the ending. The owl bit reminds me of Harry Potter. For me, the story ended as they traveled together towards the sky.

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Ogechukwu Anyaso
21:44 Mar 16, 2021

thank you, I tried to make the ending like it was all a dream maybe it didn't work out quite well as planned. But thanks again for reading

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