42 comments

Drama Bedtime

"Tell us another one, Mama!" Mia, Mrs Ryder's youngest daughter urged.


"Yeah!" Sarah joined. "I love your stories! They're really magical!" she squealed.


Mama tutted. "Girls, you have school tomorrow, one story is enough."


"Please, it doesn't have to be about fairytales. It can be about...about, your village life when you were a kid!" Sarah cried, her eyes glinting.


Mrs Ryder turned ghastly and pale. "Who told you that I lived in a village?" she choked.


Sarah shrugged merely. "I heard you and Papa talk in the room."


Mama stood up abruptly. "Sarah, didn't I tell you that it's bad to eavesdrop?" she said sharply.


Sarah stooped her head down, low. "I'm sorry Mama. But, can you tell us? I heard that your life was sad."


Mia nodded. "I love sad stories!" she smiled eagerly.


Mama swallowed and her face turned sheet white. She shook her head quickly and her lips turned dry and pale baby pink. She planted a swift kiss on the girls' heads and stood abruptly. "Uhh, I just remembered, I have some laptop work to do sweeties, goodnight." she forced a smile and swept off hastily out of the room.


"But, I wanted to hear that story." Sarah wailed.


Mia nodded. "Me too."


They pushed the door quietly and peeked outside. "Mama isn't doing laptop work!" Mia gasped, spotting Mama in the hall. She was pushing her forehead with her fingers.


They could hear her tell Papa that she had a headache and she was going to sleep early.


Just then, Papa pushed in the door gently, "Are you sleeping? Your mother asked me to check in on you,"


"Why won't Mama tell us her village story?" Sarah wailed.


Papa straightened and coughed. "It's probably for reasons, that Mama won't tell you now honey, but all I can tell you is that Mama's village was cruel to her. Her parents died when she was young and she was brought up by a cruel aunt who starved her. Mama has bad memories of that place, and she doesn't like to talk about it." Papa explained gently.


"Like Cinderella!" Mia cried.


Papa smiled. "Like Cinderella," he repeated.


Sarah's grin widened up. "Papa, I have an idea! Let's take Mama back to her village."


Papa frowned at Sarah. "That's what she doesn't want honey, she fears that the village might bring her unwanted memories. Mama is trying to forget her village." Papa explained, cuddling close to his daughters.


Sarah shook her head. "We need to make Mama overcome her fear!" she declared.


Papa's eyes brightened and he jolted up. "Wonderful idea honey! Let's make a plan!"


Sarah and Mia grinned and clapped hands eagerly and excitedly.


"Tomorrow, when I pick you girls up from school, I will call Mama along too. Then, we can take her to her village. We'll walk her through the village and make her see that she no longer has nothing to fear. We'll hold her hand and support her."


Sarah nodded. "Yeah! Sounds like a good plan!"


Mia grinned. "Hopefully it goes well."


Papa and the girls shone hopefully and prayed everything would go well the next day.


~~~


The two girls were picked up from school by Papa's big green jeep. Mama remained in the front seat, seeming pleased but confused.


"I still don't understand where you are taking us, Arnold." she sighed.


"You'll see." Papa grinned. He spun around and winked swiftly at the girls who smiled back.


All three of them prayed their plan would work and run smoothly.


Mama pulled out a box full of cookies. "Here, have some. I knew you would be hungry." she smiled warmly as the two of them pounced hungrily on the box.


As the car drew to a corner, the GPS said that they had started to near their destination and it started to seem quite familiar to Mama.


Mama's brightened face turned pale and her cheeks were white. She gazed at shock as the jeep pulled up onto a corner and Papa parked his car.


"Arnold," she uttered sharply, stuck to her seat. "Arnold, what is this place?"


Papa smiled and took Mama down by a hand. "It's your village."


Mama swallowed and the tears begin to trek down her face. "Why?" she whispered into his face.


Sarah and Mia squeezed her hands tightly as they begin to walk to the village. It seemed ancient and in ruins. The houses were scarcely alive but the plantations grew wide and remained fruitful.


"I - can't." Mama hissed as they neared the village. They halted and glanced at Mama. She was close to tears now. Papa shook his head.


"You can Lorainne, those evil folks aren't here anymore, it's not scary anymore."


"Arnold, you and the girls don't understand! There were memories, memories that were hard to forget! Memories that I worked on for years to try to junk it out of my mind! And coming here brings them all back! I don't need those anymore! I've got a happy life, I don't need to be reminded of my childhood! It was ghastly and you're not doing a favour by bringing them back!" Mama sobbed as she abandoned her husband's hands, and ran along the road, burying her face into her knobbly arms.


Papa and the girls sprinted after Mama. She looked messy and her hair was wisped up into a messy bun. She was breathing like a bee buzzing and she clutched her chest, her face soaked in tears. "I'm so sorry...but I just can't," she wept.


Papa looked at Mama. "I guess that those were really scary memories that were hard to forget."


Mama nodded, suppressing her sobs. "I was beaten every day, my only grandfather died and my sister and I were separated from each other. We never saw each other ever again. I can't tell you how much that village sparked off that memory. Those were broken memories, and nothing can ever heal them." she declared, shuddering.


Sarah and Mia sighed grimly. "I guess we failed." they groaned.


"Yeah," Papa muttered.


"Well, now we know we can't fix them. They're broken. Broken memories."





July 22, 2020 07:39

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42 comments

Nirosha P
07:45 Jul 22, 2020

Amazing story Niveeidha! I love a good sad story :) But I'm kind of sad the mum didn't overcome her fear. I thought she would. Still in love with this story though!

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Niveeidha Palani
07:50 Jul 22, 2020

Haha, thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my story! It's much appreciated! I thought I'd make a sad story for once ;)

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Amogh Kasat
10:10 Aug 15, 2020

It's an amazing story P.S read my both story what is a Second Chance The Secret Mission Meeting

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Niveeidha Palani
12:21 Aug 16, 2020

Thank you Amogh! I'm sorry if I was a little late in replying as I was on holiday...of course! I'd be glad to read your story. Going there now! ;)

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Anisha Banerjee
07:57 Jul 25, 2020

I really loved this story! Very creative! Great job Niveeidha!

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Niveeidha Palani
12:19 Jul 25, 2020

Hi Anisha, thank you so much for commenting! Have a great day!

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11:37 Jul 23, 2020

So true. There are some memories you can never fix. That's why they are memories: they happened in the past. Good job Niveeidha! Say, do you mind checking my new mystery story? It's called "Her Dark Brown Eyes". Thanks!

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Niveeidha Palani
22:01 Jul 23, 2020

Hi Chidalu, thank you so much for commenting on my story. Of course! I would love to check it out! Going over there now ;)

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Roshna Rusiniya
10:06 Jul 23, 2020

I loved this. A very emotional read with a realistic ending. Good job Niveeidha!

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Niveeidha Palani
22:09 Jul 23, 2020

Hi Roshna thank you so much for commenting! Have a great day! :)

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Deborah Angevin
23:13 Jul 22, 2020

I read the comments and it seems you have changed the ending since then (and I'm glad you did; it was great!) Also, would you mind checking my recent story out, "Red, Blue, White"? Thank you!

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Niveeidha Palani
07:04 Jul 23, 2020

Hi Deborah, thank you so much for commenting! Of course! Going over to check it out now! ;)

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Batool Hussain
08:11 Jul 22, 2020

Hello! This is such a heartbreakingly beautiful story. Although, I do think there can be a few tweaks here and there: 1. You've written Sarah and Mia squeezed her hands instead of "their hands." 2. The ending line doesn't seem to be related to the story except for it being the title. Try to establish a little more importance of "Broken Memories" throughout your story. I hope you don't feel offended as this is a beautiful piece otherwise! Good job;)

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Niveeidha Palani
11:29 Jul 22, 2020

Hi, Batool thank you so much for commenting feedback. As for the first point, I think I sort of meant that Sarah and Mia squeezed their mother's hands. So it was written as "Sarah and Mia squeezed her hands." As for the second point, I felt it extremely true. I'll go edit it now! Thank you so much for the constructive feedback, and no, I'm definitely not offended :)

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Philip Clayberg
04:15 Dec 24, 2020

Thank you for writing this story. I'm not a big fan of sad endings, but I can understand not wanting to return to a place of unhappiness (to put it mildly). Thankfully, I've never had anyone try to make me go back to one of those places in the hopes that it would heal the unhappy memories. But it can be very hard to go back, even if the bad people aren't there anymore, because the memories are very much alive and well. The block in your mind against those memories is kind of like a scab. As long as you or anyone else doesn't irritate th...

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Niveeidha Palani
07:16 Dec 24, 2020

Yes. You sound as if you speak from experience? 🤔 Yes, it's truly a horrible feeling.

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Niveeidha Palani
07:16 Dec 24, 2020

Yes. You sound as if you speak from experience? 🤔 Yes, it's truly a horrible feeling.

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Amany Sayed
21:43 Aug 11, 2020

Hello,I read in your bio that you are facing writers' block :( I recommend using Reedsy's plot generator to spark some ideas!

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Niveeidha Palani
21:55 Aug 11, 2020

Hi Amany, thank you so much! Going there to try it out now ;)

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Amany Sayed
21:57 Aug 11, 2020

No problem! hope to read a story of yours soon :)

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Kendall Defoe
04:11 Aug 01, 2020

Sweetness comes with the sour. A rather interesting journey through memories that never really rest. Well done!

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Niveeidha Palani
07:10 Aug 01, 2020

Hi August, thank you so much for commenting on my story! I'm sorry if I was a bit late in replying as I was on vacation...thank you so much though!

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Laura Clark
20:59 Jul 29, 2020

I really liked this ending! I imagine lots of people would be hoping for a happy ending but I was hoping for the opposite. The kids and father forcing the mother to confront memories she wasn’t ready to face wouldn’t lead her to closure anyway. One note that I hope is helpful is thinking about continuity. At one point you say that tears are flowing down the mother’s face and then the next paragraph she is only close to tears. Proof reading, trying to visualise the picture you’re painting, should help with that. I really enjoyed this ...

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Niveeidha Palani
07:18 Aug 01, 2020

Hi Laura, thank you so much for constructive feedback! It's much appreciated! I'm so sorry if I haven't replied in a long time as I was away on vacation, thank you so much though!

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Laura Clark
07:36 Aug 01, 2020

No problem- I hope you had a lovely vacation!

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Niveeidha Palani
07:39 Aug 01, 2020

Thank you so much, Laura! Haha, it was fun but of course, let's not forget Covid, ;)

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Laura Clark
07:47 Aug 01, 2020

I did think that a holiday amidst covid might not be the best of holidays but thought that that might be an unhelpful thing to say!

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Niveeidha Palani
08:07 Aug 01, 2020

Yes, haha, I wouldn't understand why I would go on a holiday so soon, but it was quite unplanned, and the Covid cases are peaking up, so you might think I'm going a bit bonkers ;) No, of course not, it's not unhelpful at all! It seems perfectly a reasonable thing to say nowadays.... ;)

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Adhi Das
09:30 Jul 22, 2020

enjoyed reading:)

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Niveeidha Palani
11:31 Jul 22, 2020

Thanks!

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05:20 Aug 30, 2020

Niveeidha, you have beautifully captured this story of trauma and healing. Although I was hoping that the ending would be positive, it captures the essence that healing takes it own time and cant be force upon... Lovely story...

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Niveeidha Palani
10:37 Aug 30, 2020

Thank you so much for detailed feedback and commenting on my story. It's much appreciated! 🥰😊😉

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Avery G.
23:39 Aug 23, 2020

Wow, this was amazing. It was really creative! Great job!

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Niveeidha Palani
00:28 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you so much Avery!

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Avery G.
00:41 Aug 24, 2020

You're welcome!

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Niveeidha Palani
07:05 Aug 24, 2020

:)

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Jade Young
14:09 Jul 27, 2020

I love how her family tried to help her overcome her trauma of the past, but what I absolutely love even more is how realistically you captured the ability of deep psychological trauma to not automatically go away (and to sometimes never go away at all). This was really well written :D If you have the time, check out my story "Fragments of the past". I'd love to know what you think about it😊

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Niveeidha Palani
21:56 Jul 27, 2020

Hi Jade, thank you so much for taking time to comment on my story, of course! I'd love to check out your stories! Going over there now! PS - The trauma part was actually written based on experience 😉

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Jade Young
22:17 Jul 27, 2020

Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me. Having dealt with trauma myself (and still going through it because of decisions my mom made to keep seeing her abusive boyfriend), I know how hard it is to talk about that. No wonder the trauma felt so real in your writing🙌🏽

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Niveeidha Palani
22:02 Jul 28, 2020

No problem Jade, thank you too for trusting me in sharing this. Wow, I'm so sorry for how you're feeling. :(

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Jade Young
00:03 Jul 29, 2020

It's okay, I'll get through it eventually, I'm sure :)

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Niveeidha Palani
03:31 Jul 29, 2020

Of course! I'm quite sure you will ;)

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