Potion Fail

Hubert was a very bright boy, charming, gifted and ugly. It’s really hard to say that someone is ugly. You can call them “unattractive,” “a little rough,” “kind of plain,” any number of euphemisms; but, Hubert was ugly. The other kids called him “Hubie” and laughed at him whenever he came around, but they liked him. They laughed at him and he took it in stride. He did nothing to encourage it and he just let it roll off his back. Kids started feeling guilty. The girls all stood up for him and, eventually, only the most insecure boys still laughed at him and said mean things.

By the time he was 16, Hubie was somewhat popular and mixed well at school. The teachers liked him a great deal. He was an excellent student, worked hard, turned in good schoolwork and made good grades. In math classes, he always had the right answer, he was outstanding with grammar in English and a natural at learning Spanish. He earned respect.

But deep down, Hubie was unhappy. How could he not be? The girls were kind to him, friendly, but he knew enough not to try to get a date with the prettiest ones and maybe not even the plainest ones. It would have been a bad mark for a girl to admit she could only get Hubie to take her to a movie or a school dance. It was unfortunate that they felt that way because Hubie was so likeable, well-read and people always enjoyed talking with him. When his parents had friends over, Hubie generally spent a little time with them during thier pre-dinner drinks and he never failed to impress them.

But Hubie had a secret. Not even his parents knew. Hubie was studying to be a warlock. A couple of years prior, on his 12^th birthday, a distant female cousin of his father’s had brought him a present. She kept it hidden until she could give it to him in private. When she did, she sat him down and made the present appear out of thin air. The present was a very old book with a well worn leather cover marked with strange symbols in gold. The woman was a witch and had brought a book of spells, incantations and curses to Hubie. She knew, in the family, that Hubie was next in line and she was about to die.

The book was written in strange characters and glyphs. But, when Hubie opened it and tried to read it, the words to Anglo-Shapes that Hubie knew and understood. Well, it was magic wasn’t it? Even though he could read it didn’t mean that he could understand or cast any spells or create any magic. As time passed, however, he made slow progress. He had made the family cat disappear although he couldn’t bring it back. Nobody knew it was Hubie’s doing but the cat was gone and the family was sad.

A mild ability with telekinesis came next. He could move small objects and he got into the habit of moving dishes, utensils and glasses on the dining table when his family was nor looking. It was easy and fun when he was at the table with only one other member. He couldn’t laugh out loud but he was highly amused by their confusion when their utensils went astray or the food on their plate had been rearranged.

Then, he discovered something of substance. He found a spell that could induce invisibility  It made him invisible and he was excited. He worked and worked at it and got pretty good at it. He stand in front of the mirror and disappear to himself. He did it over and over again because it was so much fun. Then, one day, he tried it as school.

He sat in the back of a class and when he felt ready, he disappeared. He walked very quietly up to the front of the class and started waving. No paid attention to him at all. He gave the teacher, a woman, a little pat on her but. Wow, she reacted strongly, reaching to her backside with speed Hubie got his hand out of the way just before she would have grabbed. He was very pleased and retuned to seat. He raised his hand to ask the teacher a question and she called on him. “Well done,” he thought.

Hubie learned more spells, tried a curse and didn’t like the results. But, he paid special attention to making himself invisible. He had a plan and he really wanted to be sure that it worked. He certainly did not want to be exposed.

It had never occurred to Hubie to check out pornography on the web. He was very curious about girls and wanted to know what they looked like naked. He didn’t really think much about sex, didn’t think about what was going with changes in his voice and in his groin, but he was simply curious about girls in general. He had decided to slip into the girls locker room in the gym when they were showering and changing after some practice. He knew that it would be a disaster if her were caught so he practiced hard to make sure he got it right. He had to get it right.

After about two months of practice, he decided that he could do it. He was ready.

It was winter and the girls’ basketball teams were practicing every day. There was a varsity team and a junior varsity team, so there were around 25 girls. He thought it would be better if he went in early and just waited from them to come in. Then he could watch them take off their uniforms and get in the shower. He sat in the stands visibly and watched the girls practice. He could tell it was about the end of the practice and now was the time. He got up, went to the side of the stands where no one could see him and disappeared. Then, he walked into the girls locker room being careful that no one saw the door open and close. His heart started pounding as he stood quietly in the middle of the room.

The girls came pouring in, mostly excited, some depressed, but all chattering away. Hubie dodged them as some of them rushed through the middle of the room to their lockers. They were all just chattering and taking off their clothes. Hubie start to see naked girls. Most of them were still pretty flat chested but one girl had quite large boobs which just shocked Hubie and another girl had just perfectly round, beautiful breasts that stirred Hubie deeply and engendered an erection. He was surprised, shocked and didn’t know what to think. He lost control of the spell and at once became visible to the girls. One of them shrieked loudly and several others followed suit. Pandemonium broke out. The girl with the beautiful breasts smiled at him and he couldn’t move. While the other girls were screaming, that girl, Angela as it happened approached Hubie and said, “You know, Hubie, you are the ugliest boy I have ever seen and I have been in love with you for sometime. Then, she reached her arms around him, drew him close and kissed him full on the mouth. Hubie’s consciousness just went slack. He felt like he was floating in heaven and he became invisible again. At that moment, adults, women, started pouring into the locker room. Angela whispered in his ear, “Get out, quickly, now.”

Hubie stirred, looked at her, nodded and ran to the door. The last woman in let the door close itself and Hubie ran out as it swung shut. There were a couple of very concerned men outside the door and he successfully avoided them as he fled the gym—invisible.

His house wasn’t far from the school and he ran all the way home. When he entered the house, he was still invisible, sweating and scared. Then came the next surprise. Lucillius, his father’s cousin was standing in the living room. When she saw him, because she had sight, she started laughing. “Hubie, you little devil. Well, you sort of made a mess of that didn’t you? Make yourself visible and let’s learn how to cast a curse. This will be a simple curse just to protect you and your family because now you are kind of exposed and vulnerable. Get your book and come back to the living room.”

The book was hidden in his closet and he had to dig it out. He did and quickly returned to the living room where he handed the book to Lucillius. “OK,” she said, and turned the pages. “This one. Read it. Good. Now point your finger at the window there. Yes, that one.” Hubie pointed is finger at the window. He was breathing hard from the run and from the excitement of casting a curse, but he managed to start talking.

“Wait,” she said. “The book will show you phonetic pronunciation. Try your best to say it right. Hubie started the chant and he spoke it remarkably well. “Great job, Hubie. Really impressive. Wow. So, now that curse will stop most everyone, not really powerful witches, but most, from entering the house with evil intent. A well-meaning witch, like myself will have no trouble.” She smiled at him and continued, “I have to get back and attend to some urgent matters. But, I will return in a day or two and we could spend some time talking and looking at your book. Take it back and put it up for now. You need a little rest and I have a feeling you are in for another surprise. Goodbye, Hubie.” Lucillius vanished.

“Oh my god,” thought Hubie. “Did that really all happen?” He sighed and went back to his bedroom. He almost fainted when he saw Angela on his bed, smiling at him. He was standing weak kneed and shaking as Angela, like Lucillius started laughing at him. “Hubie, your are going to have to toughen up and get used to being a warlock, or witch, or whatever you want to call yourself. As, hopefully, you have guessed by now, I am a witch. Obviously, a little better practiced than you. The people back at the gym have forgotten what happened with a little help from me. They all think there was some sort of hallucination that everybody succumbed to because of the rigor of practice. The coaches are going to get a little heat, but no one is going to remember seeing you. Except me of course.” She gave Hubie a winsome smile and he thought, “Maybe magic is good.”