The Lizards are Rising

The Lizards Are Rising

My dog hates lizards. She's got some sort of feud against them. Miss Fit (or Missy, as we like to call her) stares out of the glass sliding door to our backyard and growls at the twitchy lizards hiding underbrush. If any lizards happen to be caught sunning themselves on the pavement when Missy is out, it's a hard day for them. Most manage to escape by climbing up the yard's walls and leaping up, up, up, to the neighbor's backyard, where the cat is less deadly than the common bunny rabbit. However, there are some exceptions to this. Most of the “exception” lizards suffered a gruesome fate that I will not go to the trouble to describe.

Missy doesn't just chase lizards like most dogs chase all small running animals. Missy goes after them, specifically, with a fury. Vengeful energy, one might say. Once, Missy sat by a small potted plant for three and a half hours straight as she waited for the little anole to come out. Thankfully, I intervened before the harrowed anole ended in a way similar to that of the exception lizards.

The point? Missy is not a fan of lizards. Me, I don't mind 'em. I like them, in fact. When I was younger, I'd cry over the remains of little Missy's many lizard "friends". I've even tried a few times to convince my parents to buy me a pet lizard from the nearby PetCo. The answer was always no, but I never could argue against, "Tina, if Missy catches sight of you harboring an enemy in her own house, she will wreak vengeance on you, us, the lizard, and the backyard.".

Yep. Missy is a character, as my Abu would say. Therefore, it is a great (albeit pleasant) surprise when my parents buy me two banded geckos for Christmas. 

***

“The lizards are rising!” I laugh as Godzilla, the larger gecko, and Sir Newton, the smaller gecko, blink their huge bulging eyes in the light of the morning. Truth be told, they are both very lazy, doing almost nothing except sunning themselves beneath a heat lamp. I suppose because geckos are nocturnal, they do whatever geckos do when I sleep. 

Missy hasn’t noticed them - yet.

***

“Package!”

“Coming!” I reply, and jog down the stairs. I had been observing Godzilla and Sir Newton when the doorbell rang, startling me bad enough to almost drop Sir Newton. 

When I get to the door, there is no delivery truck, not even driving away. Huh. I thought I had moved pretty fast. In fact, I don’t even remember asking my mom to buy me anything online. Double huh. However, it’s got my name and address on it.

I open the cardboard package box. There isn’t a top secret code or a beeping timer. Just a pair of headphones. I guess it’s a mistaken delivery. I glance back out the window, but there’s nothing giving a clue to where the headphone’s came from. Well, no sense wasting a good pair of headphones. I put them on and retreat to my room. 

Suddenly I stiffen in surprised. There are voices from inside my room! I take the headphones off to listen better, but there is nothing, so I jerk open the door to my room. There’s no one there but Godzilla and Sir Newton. Spooky. I stick the headphones in my drawer where I forget about them.

***

The next time I put on the headphones is two days later. My parents and siblings are gone buying school supplies. My school supplied everything, but both Carla and Lan’s school’s didn’t. I’m home alone.

I think about drawing a bit, but I like to listen to music as I illustrate. My mother had taken those padded Bluetooth headphones with her, which sours the deal  until I remember the headphones I got from Amazon the other day. I suppose I’ll test them now! 

I walk up the stairs and dig through the drawers to get out my drawing supplies and the headphones, then stop at the family charging station for my computer. 

After setting up all my supplies and logging onto Spotify, I connect the headphones to the computer, and start working. However, to my dismay, no sound comes through the headphones! I frown. I take them off- bang on them. Nothing.

Wait! I can hear something! It sounds  almost like voices… And they come from my room. I remove the headphones: nothing. Put them on - voices. It’s so strange, I assume it must be a headphone error. However, I am curious as to what is happening, so I creep up the stairs, where the signal must be stronger, because the voices are clearer, louder. Maybe it’s some sort of radio headphones?

Finally, I stand before my bedroom door. The voices are just loud enough to make out.

“We strike today,” says a deep voice.

“Are you sure?” asks a slightly higher, snivelier voice. “If we are off by even a little bit… Those snooty iguanas are terrible messengers. For all we know, they could be tricking us just to see the house go up flames before the plan is set!” 

I chuckle, because who wouldn’t laugh at the mention of snooty iguanas? I think that this might be just a radio soap opera. 

Then I hear the twin gasps from behind the bedroom door.

“I thought she couldn’t hear us, G!” the high voice whispers.

“She can’t!” the deep one says breathlessly.

I am about to scream or something when Missy’s familiar deep woofs ring out. Except that now I can understand them!

“There’s someone crossing the street, over! It looks like Mr. Anton, but I can’t get a good smell, over. Timón, make sure the person is a regular and not a trespasser, over!”

I feel light-headed. Timón is my neighbor’s dog. And Missy just TALKED. I could UNDERSTAND HER. That is NOT meant to happen!

I stumble down to the living room and manage to sit on the couch before I fall in a dead faint.

***

I awake to Missy licking my face. Big slobbery licks. All the past events hit me in the face, and I spring to a sitting position. Missy cocks her her ear.

“Oh, Tina! I’m glad you’re feeling better!” She wags her tail.

By now I’m simply too stupefied to even question this.

“Hi, Missy. I am feeling better, thanks.” Missy’s eyes widen.

“You heard me!” she squeaks. “Humans can’t do that!”

“I think it’s the headphones.” I point at them, so Missy gives them a sniff. Wrinkles her nose in disgust. It must smell bad. Missy doesn’t care for long, and she starts to jump in circles with glee.

“You hear me! You hear me! Oh goody!” Then Missy pauses.

“Tina, Tina! There’s something you’ve got to hear! I know it’s so soon, you must be ASTOUNDED I know I am but you’ve got to hear: The lizards are rising. They are rising in open revolt for freedom.”

Freedom? But I’ve treated Sir Newton and Godzilla so well, I think dumbly. 

“Lizard-kind has been planning this for years, but from what I can tell, their master plan will initiate this week. From what I can tell. I mean, G and Newt aren’t exactly open, am I right?”

Missy seems almost giddy by now. I mean, yeah, I can finally understand her, but the lizards are planning open revolt! 

I get up. Rub my head. It hurts.

“Missy, what are they planning, exactly?”

“I’m not really sure… It’s gotta do with the house, though! I think.”

“Missy, we’ve probably gotta get out now! I don’t want to be hanging around here if the house collapses or something!!”

“Mmm, maybe you’re right. Just for now. I’ll ask Timón to keep an eye out, yep!”

She follows me, eager. I feel a bit silly now, but I sit on the grass and wait for my family to come home. They do, eventually. In the meantime, I chat with Missy. Catch up on everything I’ve missed, according to her. I still can’t believe I’m talking to her. To an animal. When I see my parent’s car, I jump up in excitement.

“Cariño, why are you outside? You’re supposed to stay inside while we’re not here, you know that, Tina!” she says angrily from the rolled-down car window.

Feeling more foolish than ever, I tell her, “It’s fine, Ma. I can explain-”

Then the smell of smoke reaches my nostrils. My nose twitches. More smoke. I hear the smoke alarm go off from inside my own house and everything becomes a blur. My mom calling the fire department. Flames licking the window frame. The tiny green shapes crawling out of my bedroom window and escaping. The firefighters asking me questions. Did you leave the gas on? Did you drop a match in the trash can? Did you burn something in the stove? I answer no to everything. I am sure it was the lizards. They were talking about burning something before. 

I stroke Missy’s fur; her muscles are tense. She says nothing as my mother yells.

“Tina! What the heck happened?! Are you okay? Why is the house burning?”

I only shake my head, stupified, on the grass of my front lawn. 

“The lizards are rising,” I tell her.