Lottie and the Rat

Submitted into Contest #237 in response to: Write a story about a first or last kiss.... view prompt

70 comments

Romance Adventure Fantasy

They always leave and they never come back.


It was a truth that slid down Lottie’s throat like a knife. It made her so jealous she couldn’t stand it. If she had only been born a boy, she could escape the village alongside them. It wasn’t fair. The world was a bigger place for the opposite gender. All because they had a dangling thing right between their legs! Men had access to places full of exciting things to see and new adventures. She drew her knees to her chest feeling small. Cold bricks pressed through the thin layer of her skirt while she watched a golden sun climb the morning sky.


“Lottie, get down from there! What do you think you’re doing?” a woman called out. “Your father will have my head if he sees you managed your way onto that blasted wall again.”


Lottie narrowed her eyes at the middle aged woman scowling in her direction. The maid's hands were placed menacingly on wide hips with her hair twisted into a straw colored bun. Her lips were a thin line of disapproval. How unfavorable the God’s had looked upon Lottie for her to be born a girl and for this old hag to be the one minding her. A heavy sigh escaped the young woman before she dropped to the ground with catlike grace.


“Your father! Your father! That’s all I hear from the lot of you,” Lottie stated irritably. “The least you can do for a bird trapped in a cage is to let it peek outside the bars every once in a while.”


Agatha, the maid, swatted at the back of Lottie’s head. “Dense child! Don’t you know how dangerous it is outside these walls? Be grateful your father built them. Those of us inside can sleep at night knowing we’re safe and sound. Stop scaling those bricks,” she hissed.


Lottie trailed behind the woman with her head lowered. She knew she should be grateful, but her father was overprotective. A leader among men and she, his only daughter. She was the shining gemstone of Rohese Village, a land filled with many roses. Even so, she didn’t wish to be a jewel. No, she longed to be a thorn among the petals.


Beware the land outside these walls – lest the rats hear your trembling call. First, they scratch, then… they maul. A traitorous rat is no friend at all.


Lottie knew the old wives' tale like the back of her hand. It wasn’t enough to fill her with trepidation at the mention of the lands beyond Rohese. She had already made up her mind. Tonight, when the moon filled the sky with the broadness of its pale white chest, she would escape into a new world. See, only one thing truly filled Lottie with terror, and that was the idea of living her whole life trapped between the four towering walls of her village.


~ * ~


“Are you certain about this?” Clara asked.


Lottie slid on a pair of brown trousers her brother had left behind and pulled an olive colored tunic over her wrapped chest. It swallowed her whole but at least it managed to hide her womanly shape. After sliding on a pair of bulky work boots it was time for the grand finale. Clara, another prominent daughter of Rohese, flinched as she watched Lottie bring a sharp blade against precious blond curls. The length of the older girl’s hair fell to the floor and Clara gave a horrified gasp. Lottie, however, stared at her own reflection in a polished bronze mirror. Her cheeks filled with rosy excitement at the male likeness looking back at her. If the outside world was only open to men – the solution was simple. She’d become a man herself!


“Where are you going to go? What if you run out of food?” The young girl's lips trembled with panic.


Lottie frowned. She had filled a sack with food and water to drink. She wasn’t naïve enough to think it would last. “It’s not like this is the only village. I studied maps in the library diligently. To the west are the Shores of Ondine,” the words rushed out of Lottie with enthusiasm. “It’s said that on its coast - there’s an ocean of sparkling turquoise water stretching as far as the eye can see.”


Clara cast her a doubtful look. “What of your father? Don’t you think he’ll come chasing after you and drag you right back? You know the law as well as I. Women aren’t permitted to leave the village.”


Lottie quieted at this. The truth of the matter was that she loved her father. Abandoning their home for her own selfish freedom wasn’t an easy decision. She had spent fifteen years among the roses and loved their people. An ugly rumor, though, had crawled its way down the corridors to her bedchamber. It was more disturbing than any ghost story. Her brother had gone to faraway lands securing trade routes which would bring prosperity to their father’s name and growth to the village. Yet, along the way, he fell in love and sent word that he didn’t have plans to return home. This turn of events left Lottie with the duty of marrying a powerful match at her father’s choosing, in less than a year, on her sixteenth birthday. One who would lead in her brother’s stead.


“Search and search he might,” Lottie smiled with a bitter twist of her lips. “But by then I’ll have disappeared long into the night.”


~ * ~


Warm air kissed the uncovered parts of Lottie’s skin as she left the walls of her home behind. A promise that the summer solstice was not far away. She felt only a small amount of guilt for deceiving Clara. It’s not like she could have told the younger lady where she was really headed. Her father would have scared it out of the meek girl before the moon traded places with the sun.


Lottie did have every intention of heading to the ocean, just not the Shores of Ondine. Instead, she gazed up at the stars in the sky until she found the brightest one, Polaris, and started her trek north. A sword she’d stolen from her father clung to the belt clasped around her narrow hips as she moved forward. The Isles of Thalassa sounded promising. She could become a fisherman. One large obstacle loomed ahead, however. To get to the Isles, she first had to pass through The Land of the Rat.


~ * ~


Lottie’s hands shook as she pointed her blade. She had expected this, wanted this even. She couldn’t run away in fear. A fortnight into Lottie’s journey and not only was she helplessly lost – here she was, diving headfirst into trouble. A delicate woman with long waves of dark emerald hair lay beaten into the dirt just ahead. Two large Rat-men loomed over her crumpled body. The men appeared human in all the ways that counted. It was only the burgundy pupils of their eyes that revealed the truth of their nature. It sent Lottie’s heart into a panicked frenzy.


First, they scratch… then – they maul.


“Who do you think you are?” sneered the rat to the left before lunging at Lottie with dirty claws.


Lottie had never used a sword but as the steel sliced through the large man’s belly, she learned her small stature gave her an edge against her opponent. Never one to hesitate, she dropped to a squat and went for his heels with a clean slice. With a loud cry he hit the ground with a thud and she turned to the man on the right. His moon shaped face turned scarlet with anger as he dove straight for Lottie and tackled her into the grass.


She felt sure this was the end of her inconsequential life, having lost her grip on the sword. Her cheek stung from the rat's impact and the weight on top of her squeezed the air from her lungs. Unconsciousness tugged at her as she heard the odd sound of a grown man letting out a scream. A heavy whimper followed it, and she felt a weight lifted from her body. Her head lightened as oxygen rushed back inside her chest. She opened her eyes to find a pretty face staring curiously at her.


“My, my. What do we have here?” asked a voice sweet like honey. Emerald locks of hair cascaded down the figure's shoulders. “A human who would bloody their hands for a Rat?”


Lottie quickly realized a mistake she had made as she sized up the celestial creature in front of her. He was not a woman after all, but a man. His skin was pale like a white rose against his sapphire robe. He knelt by her side, arms resting off his knees, sharp fingernails coated with inky black blood. Eyes she couldn’t see before were now only a breath away. They held her in place with an alluring intensity as scarlet pooled in their centers. A rat. An otherworldly beautiful - albeit dangerous… rat.  


“I can’t thank you enough,” he told her, a dimple flashing as he smiled. “My younger brother is relentless with his lackeys. Can you believe this is the fifth attempt on my life in a matter of days?”


Lottie cleared her throat before speaking in a low tone with her best imitation of a masculine voice. “Why is your brother trying to kill you?”


 “Why is a lone human like you wandering the Forest of Norvegicus?” the rat countered.


They stared at each other for several moments, each waiting for the other to break the silence. When it was clear neither wished to answer right away, the elegant creature dipped his human like face toward hers and stopped her breath with his lips. Shock raced up her spine as she tasted sweetness. His tongue took full advantage of her surprise and entered her mouth. What started as a gentle kiss soon turned into something hungrier. He captured her bottom lip between his teeth sending a warm thrill through her lower abdomen. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she realized her first kiss had been stolen and she shoved him away.


“Whaaa- what do you think you’re doing?” she screeched. “I’m a boy!”


“Repaying a debt," he told her. An offended look spread over his graceful features in response to her anger. “You saved my life. No one has ever bothered before. The truth is…” he said, pain creeping into his voice as he cast his eyes toward his blood soaked fingers. “I am a traitor. There are those who wish to see me dead.”


She felt a trickle of empathy at his words, but it didn’t abate the rage she felt at being violated. “You can’t stick your tongue into a person’s mouth without asking!”


He invaded the space between them once more, a flicker of fury flashing in his eyes. “You fool. It wasn’t for my own personal pleasure.”


His pleasant breath tickled her nose, and she turned her face away from him embarrassed. Perhaps rats weren’t like humans. “If not for pleasure,” she asked, “then… what was it for?”


“A kiss is an everlasting promise. One even a traitorous rat cannot break.” His voice softened as he spoke, “Inquire anything of me, and it will be given to you.”


Lottie’s body rocked against the cool grass, and she felt a wave of nausea hit her stomach. She had taken a large blow to the head earlier. Her vision wavered as she looked at the ethereal being next to her. Did someone like him possess the ability to give her what she wanted? And… what was it she wanted anyway? She longed to see the world outside of Rohese’s walls but look where she ended up! She had run out of food days ago, and despite feeling confident she knew how to get to the Isles, she was a foolish young girl lost in the woods. She knew better than to trust a rat and yet, she didn’t have much choice. 


“What I want? That’s simple,” she whispered. “I want to be free.”


“Freedom?” the rat murmured. A soft thoughtfulness tugged at his brows. “Alright then,” he said slowly, “that’s easy enough.”


“Hey mister,” Lottie said, a wave of sleepiness hitting her. She laid her aching head on the tender grass beneath her and looked up at the night sky. Who knew stars could dance in circles like the ones above them? “Are you going to tell me why your brother wants you dead?”


“Oh that,” he said, letting out an easy laugh. “I made a deal with a human. My brother believes it gives him the right to take something that belongs to me.”


The waning moon cast a soft yellow glow on the forest floor around them. The dark locks of the rat’s hair seemed as though they belonged among the luscious greenery of the trees. Rats were scary creatures. Even so, the pain Lottie was in must have worn her faculties thin. Before she knew what she was doing, her fingertips had sought out the loose emerald strands falling down the man’s shoulders. To her bewilderment, they were as smooth as silk. Not like a hideous rat at all. The last thing the young woman saw before drifting into a world of black, was a hesitant smile on a face so lovely she couldn’t believe it was real.


~*~


Lurching woke Lottie, along with a fragrant smell like flowers in full bloom. She nuzzled into it, taking deeper breaths, the scent filling her with a steady calmness.


“Are you quite alright?” asked a voice slow and sweet like syrup.


Startled, she opened her eyes. She blinked through blurry vision only to realize she was staring at vivid green hair in the light of day. Her arms were wrapped around the neck of a stranger. A strong back pressed between her legs, as a man… or rat rather, carried her piggy-back style. Shame burned her cheeks when she realized not only had she been breathing in his scent – he had caught her in the act.


Before thinking it through, her limbs flailed against him, and they both fell with a boisterous thump. She landed clumsily on top of him and to her added horror, she found she was dressed in the outer layer of his sapphire robe.


“My clothes!” she cried. “Where are my clothes?”


The white cheeks of the rat flushed crimson at her question. “You fainted and then proceeded to vomit all over yourself. All I did was clean you up and give you something less soiled to wear.” 


Lottie checked for the wrap around her breasts with wild hands. With relief she realized it was still there, even if it was a bit looser than it had been before. The rodent beneath her shrank away from the glare she fixed on him.


“You know,” she whispered. “Don’t you? Did you know all this time?”


She watched as he swallowed hard. His gaze dropped to her lips, to her chest for a split second, then quickly shot back to her eyes once again. He gave her a reluctant nod of confirmation. “These are my lands, Lottie. No one steps foot onto them without me knowing exactly who they are and what they want."


A sinking feeling squirmed in her belly. “I never told you my name.”


“No,” he agreed. “You didn’t. Your father did.”


The sinking feeling inside turned into a gaping hole when she realized their surroundings. Several yards away stood an extensive brick wall. Rohese, a land filled with many roses. The nearest neighboring village to The Land of the Rat. The sight of it made her sick with claustrophobia. Tears stung the corners of her eyes as a white ball of rage and helplessness overwhelmed her.


“A traitorous rat is no friend at all,” she spat at him. “What about my freedom? What about your promise?”


He met her with a steady gaze. “I haven’t broken it. I brought you all the way here to give it to you. What will you do, Lottie? Stay on the run for the rest of your life? That’s not freedom. Moreover, it’s selfish. Do you think you are the only rose inside the village who wants to bloom in the wild? It’s the law you want changed. The law that says women aren’t permitted to leave… I’ll change it for you.” 


She sat stunned at the power of his words. She found no fault with their reasoning. Yet, how could a rat bring about change to a law that had stood since the founding of Rohese? Another question tugged at Lottie. “How is it you know my father?”


“He and I share a vision,” he replied. “We both wish to see a season of peace among our lands. Naturally, we came to an agreement.”


A large voice boomed causing Lottie to jump. The man beneath her let out a soft gasp as her weight shifted against him. The voice, Lottie realized after a beat, belonged to her father. She braced herself for his anger but the words he spoke took her by surprise.


“Well done, King of the Rats. Your brother didn’t steal the throne out from underneath your decaying carcass.” Her human father lowered grey eyes at the young rat, but not with disgust. It was a look she hadn’t seen on his aging face often. A look of respect. After a moment, he dropped to one knee. “I see you didn’t encounter any problems locating your wayward fiancé. You brought her home in one piece. I owe you a debt of gratitude. Demand anything within my power... I will grant it to you.”


The Rat King smiled. “On behalf of your daughter, I do have one request.” 


February 14, 2024 23:20

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70 comments

Michelle Oliver
10:48 Feb 16, 2024

I enjoyed this story. There is a message here about what you want and what you actually need. I like the way Lottie is striving for a life she desires, free from the limitations of her existence and gets caught through poor planning and preparation caused by her inexperience. The world that she knew was limited to what she had been taught and what she was able to dream. The rat king challenges, those beliefs and dreams and shows her a new reality. Rats are not all bad, freedom is not gained by running away. Nice story, thanks for sharing.

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Danie Holland
16:31 Feb 16, 2024

Michelle, I loved this insightful feedback! I do think there is a certain wisdom connotated with rats that I must have had tucked away in my unconscious. I love stories that flip preconceived notions on their heads and glad this story held a grain of that. Rats are not all bad!

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Helen A Smith
09:22 Feb 16, 2024

I like the way you turned the idea of the rat being loathsome on its head. Of course, in reality rats are intelligent creatures and real survivors so this alliance may well turn to Lottie’s advantage. She is very much finding her feet in life. It also seemed she was attracted to him - judging by her response to the kiss. An intriguing approach and it turned out well. At least, that’s how I read it.

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Danie Holland
16:34 Feb 16, 2024

Yes, this! I think sometimes humans get stuck believing certain things are certain ways. I love when we get to see the opposite can be just as true. I cherish open-mindedness! Also, I think you hit the nail on the head. Lottie is a little bit sweet on the rat. He is a beautiful rat, after all. I can't hold it against her. Thanks for reading girly! Its great hearing from you again.

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Helen A Smith
16:46 Feb 16, 2024

It’s been a while since anyone has called me girly. I’m going to take it as a huge compliment 😍👧 Look forward to reading more of your stories soon.

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Graham Kinross
00:47 Feb 16, 2024

“ It was a truth that slid down Lottie’s throat like a knife,” great line. I should have seen the end coming but I didn’t. Nice twist.

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Danie Holland
22:51 Feb 16, 2024

Hey Graham. Sweet of you to leave some thoughts, friend. I’ll return the favor asap. I worried the ending was obvious, glad I caught at least one of you by surprise!

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Graham Kinross
01:30 Feb 17, 2024

Maybe it would be obvious for people who read romance stories more often but that’s not my usual thing so I don’t know the tropes as well. I think you threw me off the scent when you mentioned the animosity between the rat people and humans. I wouldn’t have pictured her father as having the sense to do something to end that. The difference between their people was subtle. I was expecting long faces and tails.

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Danie Holland
15:53 Feb 18, 2024

Right! Yes I had another person who said the rats in a sense were kind of “fae” like and that’s probably true. I think when I wrote them I kind of had an idea in my head like Peter Parker in spider man. He looks completely human but has a few things under the belt that would allude to him having to do with something like spiders. I don’t know what the back story here would be. That would be a fun question to answer if I ever decided to spin this story a little further. As for the father, we don’t really get to know anything about him until t...

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23:59 Feb 15, 2024

Great story, Danie! So much to digest. Well done!

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Danie Holland
16:39 Feb 16, 2024

Hey there Melissa, thanks so much for swinging by. I used almost every bit of our 3000 word allowance, and hopefully it all goes down smooth.

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Michał Przywara
21:51 Feb 15, 2024

Very nice, lots going on here :) Lottie's the perfect young protagonist - opinionated, looking to remedy an injustice, and leaping into something before she really understands it. Her initial struggle is easy to empathize with, and to sympathize with - she craves freedom, as I'm sure most of us do, and there is an inherent unfairness in her world. “Even so, she didn’t wish to be a jewel. No, she longed to be a thorn among the petals.” - I like that. “It’s the law you want changed.” - clever. But Lottie leaps before she looks, and const...

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Danie Holland
23:04 Feb 15, 2024

My guilty pleasure is re-reading your comments multiple times for the dopamine hits. You found yourself on the right platform cause you do have a way with words. I missed you all this time but I had to take a break. My body is so dramatic, To be honest, I wondered about this one. She seemed to be fumbling quite a bit and I wasn’t sure there was enough growth. Glad you picked up a lot more than I realized I was laying down. I do love nuanced conflict and complex characters. Side note: Say you’re proud of me because hey — no tragedy here....

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Michał Przywara
21:38 Feb 16, 2024

Oh yeah, definitely growing! I've now read contemporary stories of yours, and sci-fi, and fantasy, and they all bring their own tone. I've found trying out different genres, even ones we might not normally be into, is a great challenge for developing skills. And yeah, no tragedy here, definitely proud :) Not, of course, that there's anything wrong with a good tragedy. Lottie's growth works. Could there be more? Maybe, but we are talking 3k words max, and that has to do world building and plot moving too, and the romance. In a longer stor...

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Tom Skye
18:16 Feb 15, 2024

Wow what a wild world that was. Great imagination! A little romance, a political message towards the end, lots of exciting stuff in there! Seems like the universe could seed other stories. The MC also had an attitude which gave her an interesting edge. Very driven, but the arc made her wiser in the end. Really amazing work, Danie, and phenomenally creative. Thanks for sharing.

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Danie Holland
19:23 Feb 15, 2024

Tom, thank you so much for reading! My Lottie loves adventure. I’m a sucker for romance, what a girl I am. But I wanted to do one a little out of the box with the Valentine’s Day theme. Nothing screams the opposite of Valentine’s Day quite like rats. 😂 it was a fun take to write. Good to hear from you. 💕

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Mike Panasitti
18:04 Feb 15, 2024

Although fantasy is not my go-to genre, this is very well-written and had me intrigued from beginning to end. I will not soon forget the burgundy pupils of the rat race. Thanks for sharing, Danie.

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Danie Holland
18:11 Feb 15, 2024

This week felt like a good week to be a bit out of touch with reality. Thanks for staying even though it isn’t your usual cup of tea! ❤️

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