hidden away...

Submitted into Contest #55 in response to: Write a story about a meeting of a secret society.... view prompt

31 comments

Mystery

"Iris where are we going??" Melody asked tiredly. It was only three in the morning.

"Shush. we need to get faith." Iris grabbed Melody's hand and takes her upstairs.

Iris never seemed to be tired, Even now she seemed like she had the same regular energy during the morning.

"Are you gonna tell us now?" Faith asked walking over with a backpack.

Iris remained silent but she motioned for the two of them to just follow her outside.

Melody hated this side of Iris she never explained anything and kept secrets. This was probably the worst time for Iris to be like this.

The three of them got outside where they reached a small forest, Iris motioned for them to stop.

"Alright what the heck is going on??" Melody asked.

"yeah whats...."

Melody and Iris both turned around to see that Faith had fallen asleep while standing up. Guess you could fall asleep at any moment when your tired.

"FAITH!"

"Wake up!"

Faith jumped startled, almost falling on her back. "yeah yeah...what are we doing?" she asked with a yawn.

Iris sighed as she stared past the forest, It was windy as the back of her shirt started to blow in the wind.

"what is she batman?" Faith mumbled to herself.

"Just tell us already..."

"Alright, Listen do you know how some people have ended up finding these types of an old or hidden society?" She then asked.

Faith knew that Iris loved exploring and hoped that one day she would go and find something amazing. She didn't think it would happen though.

Melody on the other hand had faith (no pun attended) that Iris would find many things and maybe just maybe Melody could help her.

"yes we do, but why?" Faith asked trying her best to not fall asleep again. Faith just hoped this would be done fast so she could sleep.

"I think i found some things and well...i think there may be an old or a hidden type one around!" She sounded so excited.

Faith and melody stared at each other in silence, they knew what was going to happen now. a adventure.

Melody tried to protest "but Iris its Only Three in the morning!" Iris stared at her with an angry look and started to walk into the forest. she must really want to find it.

Faith grabbed onto Iris' shirt and tried to pull her out. "Iris! why do we have to do this?"

"Because I'm the oldest here and we have to do it! now come on.." Iris was getting angry.

"but-"

Iris flipped around and looked at melody "do you want me to send you back to that place?!"

melody fell silent and looked down at her feet. "good..."

Faith and Melody walked behind Iris as she started leading them through the forest. Iris had been the only one to go through it a few times, so she had to be the one to lead them.

"how long is this going to take..." Faith asked holding Melody's hand. she hated to see her like this.

"Maybe an hour or so, i just know its nearby."

"an hour-" Melody shut herself up before she finished. "never mind.." she mumbled.

Iris looked at a small map that she was carrying around with her "this way."

Faith whispered something to melody who smiled and agreed. The two of them quickly backed up and ran off somewhere.

"you two are really q-" she turned around to see that they were no longer behind her.

"FAITH?! MELODY! where are you?!"

she put the map back into her pocket and started to run around the forest, trying to find the two of them. she NEEDED them now!

"you have to come and find us!" Faith said from somewhere in the forest. she hoped that Iris couldn't find them though. Maybe she and Melody could find somewhere else to go.

"Melody! come on out please??"

Iris was getting a bit angry, sometimes she hated being with younger kids. Sometimes they never listen to your commands. No matter how hard you try.

"come on! i need your help to find the place!"

Faith and Melody were hiding nearby while trying to hold in the laughs, they liked seeing her like this. it was a 50/50 chance of her not finding them, and they had bets on it.

"what's in it for us?" Faith then shouted a bit curiously.

Iris sighed a bit annoyed. why must they want things? "ill...give you anything you both want for a week!"

Faith turned and looked at Melody, she'd only come out if Melody wanted the two of them to do it. she cared about her opinion.

"it...won't matter anyway, she'll just find us.." Melody said in a whisper. Melody WANTED to get away but she was giving up hope.

Faith sighed as she grabbed melody's hand and the two of them stepped out behind Iris. "here we are..."

Iris smiled a bit as she began to lead the two of them again. it was great to do it. "almost there..."

Melody didn't understand why She needed them to help her find the place. Maybe so they wouldn't have been left alone to try and do something.

Faith began to hum a song to herself and melody that her mother had taught her. she had even taught it to Melody which became her favorite song.

"stop singing. now." Iris ordered.

The rest of the way The two of them remained silent trying the best they could to not upset Iris anymore. The three then saw some sort of clearing up ahead.

"what is that?"

"it has to be the entrance to it..." Iris started to have a smile. she must have finally found it. after all these years.

the two followed her in a sprint as she quickly ran towards it, they knew she was excited.

they found it. Iris had been right about it.

It didn't seem like much as there was only maybe around 10 or 12 houses and what seemed like a campfire in the middle of the place. they didn't really see much people and when they did the people didn't seem to notice them.

"wow..."

"it looks amazing..."

Iris smirked as her eyes narrowed she looked around the 'secret society' as she called it and took something out of her pocket.

"we found it. come on out."

"iris...? what are you doing??" Melody asked a bit confused.

The two of them could barely see what she was holding but one of the things was sharp. who was she talking to?

"uh melody...?"

The two of them turned around to maybe see around 6 other people in suits. they were holding things that were sharp as well.

"oh no..."

"get them."

hah- hope you enjoy this other weird story i guess

August 16, 2020 03:49

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31 comments

Authoring Studio
04:07 Aug 16, 2020

I loved it!

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B. W.
04:10 Aug 16, 2020

thanks! :)

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It's very nice! I can tell you enjoy writing; you've written one every day and also wrote two stories in a day! I love it :)

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B. W.
23:49 Aug 17, 2020

thank you :) i actually started wanting to write when (short story for it) i got sick from something for a while when i was younger so when i was in the hospital i had pens and papers so i wrote some small stories when i was there. I guess ever since then i've loved trying to write stories. I cant stop with getting ideas tbh so i would go to this small doc type thing with a friend and tell them the idea and then i'd end up writing like 2 or 3 at the same time. While not on here i'm actually trying to write a story off of something me and a f...

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Wow! That's awesome! I'm so sorry you got sick, but I'm glad you joined Reedsy ^^

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Itay Frenkel
02:10 Aug 17, 2020

Great job! Your story flowed well and the characters were likable. I enjoyed reading it.

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B. W.
02:15 Aug 17, 2020

Aw thank you im glad you enjoyed it. Im not sure if you did or not but did you maybe have a favorite character or part of it? and if you have any questions about it i could probably answer em

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Itay Frenkel
17:36 Aug 17, 2020

My favorite part of the story was the different relationships Faith and Iris had with Melody, who seemed to be the youngest of the group. Faith was kind and patient with her, while Iris was more aggressive, which really helped distinguish the characters for me. The horror twist at the end was great! I think it could have been improved if you added more foreshadowing to the story and portrayed Iris as a more mysterious, scary figure and made the setting darker, so there's a slight feeling of dread while Iris leads the girls through the forest...

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B. W.
17:42 Aug 17, 2020

yeah i kinda thought it was cute in a way when i was doing it, i never said the ages of the characters but i'd say iris is 17, Faith is 13 and melody is maybe around 10 years old. I love horror as i read or play horror games or books so i decided to do the twist at the end. I didn't really think of the twist though or some of the other things until the very end and after a few changes as well. Mostly i guess since i like Batim and some other ones. I suck at foreshadowing though so i guess i could try to work on that along with some other thi...

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Itay Frenkel
17:54 Aug 17, 2020

Horror is one of my favorite genres, especially when it's mixed in with some humor like you did in this story. Looking forward to reading your other stories!

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B. W.
18:54 Aug 17, 2020

well your in luck! i just finished another story a couple minutes ago if you wanna go check it out? i called it "we know, do you know?"

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Jamela Faye
17:17 Aug 17, 2020

New favorite writer spotted~ Loved it! PS: Would you mind giving critique on my latest submission?

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B. W.
17:21 Aug 17, 2020

oh gosh- im a favorite writer now? thank you and sure ill check it out :) i don't think i've ever been considered a 'favorite' until now and not much of a writer until i started doing stuff on here. thank you

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B. W.
18:54 Aug 17, 2020

some other news- i just finished another story a couple of minutes ago if you wanna go check it out, "we know, do you know?" is what i called it

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Khizra Aslam
05:29 Aug 17, 2020

I like your story especially how Faith sleep like that and how melody and Faith hide themselves to tease Iris. It was funny. Great job ❤

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B. W.
06:10 Aug 17, 2020

aw thank you im glad you liked it :) i decided on the ages even though its never really stated that Iris is around 17 while Both faith and melody are around 11 or so, so their both still really young enough to do this type of stuff i dont think if they had been any older that i would have them do it

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Khizra Aslam
07:59 Aug 17, 2020

Well, then you should mention ages in your story. It will be more intriguing to read. :)

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B. W.
08:49 Aug 17, 2020

Yeah in the other stories ill try to mention the ages then

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Khizra Aslam
14:09 Aug 17, 2020

Looking forward to read more stories from you❤

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B. W.
16:56 Aug 17, 2020

well you'll see some more soon, when the new prompt comes out ill probably make 2 or 3 again

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B. W.
18:56 Aug 17, 2020

well i guess your in luck now! :) i just finished yet another story so go check it out if ya wanna "we know, do you know?"

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Basil Boi
22:10 Aug 16, 2020

Very good! There's room for improvement, but otherwise, bravo!

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B. W.
22:11 Aug 16, 2020

thank you im glad you liked it

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Al Johnson
19:43 Aug 16, 2020

I like the story! Except for a few grammar errors the story is fantastic!

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B. W.
19:44 Aug 16, 2020

thank you! i'm glad you liked it and yeah i'm trying to work on that with the grammar errors.

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Tvisha Yerra
15:56 Aug 16, 2020

Oooh! Love the story, but the capitalization could use some work! I prefer ProWritingAid, if you don't want to use grammarly,

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B. W.
16:45 Aug 16, 2020

Thank you i'm glad you liked the story :) And yeah i'm still working on that and sure i could give proWritingAid a chance with it

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Saranglogy R
12:48 Aug 16, 2020

I loved this story. Especially I liked Faith's character here. She was funny and cute. And glad to see that you have divided this into several sentences instead of a single paragraph. Well done!!

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B. W.
16:52 Aug 16, 2020

Aw thank you glad you liked it i based faith off of something else i had, and yeah i guess i got better with doing the sentences with this one

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11:49 Aug 16, 2020

Hey, nice work! An intriguing story that was enjoyable the whole way through. There are quite a few punctuation and capitalization mistakes, so I suggest going over and editing a couple more times. Also, I have one problem with this line: "Iris where are we going??" Melody asked tiredly. Just so you know, it’s usually best to use a simple tag and an adverb, or a fancier dialogue tag with no adverbs. Like: Melody said tiredly. Or: Melody asked. Other than that, nice work! This was a good story I’m glad I read. 8/10! ~Aerin P. S. I just po...

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B. W.
17:00 Aug 16, 2020

Thank you i'm so glad you liked this story this thing is kinda the best place for me to write my stories so i could be getting better at it and im so glad everyones been liking them and kinda helping. Ill keep working on the Punctuation and Capitalization stuff more from now on like the other ones have said. Still thank you and sure ill go over and read it :)

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