Two Liars Made For One Another

I met Rose Marie at a John Mellencamp Concert in Marlins Park a baseball park located in Miami, Florida. It is the current home of the Miami Marlins, the city's Major League Baseball franchise. It is located on 17 acres.

Before she even introduced herself to me she told me that she was a Train Conductor and Yard Master for Amtrak. When I asked what is a Yard Master and is it anything like a Slave Master. She giggled and quickly changed the subject. As we got better acquainted and got drunk off a half gallon bottle of cheap wine that I pulled from my backpack the lies just kept on coming nonstop.

I swore to god to Rose that me being Robert Livingston Jr. that I was truly an animal trainer for Ringling Brother’s Circus. I seductively whispered in Rose Marie’s right ear over the loud drummer that an animal trainer is very similar to any other occupation. Check out my full profile on Facebook, (even though I don’t have an account). You’ll see that I train animals for riding bad kids, harness, security, performance for Siegfried Fischbacher and his partner Roy Uwe Ludwig Horn who got mauled by a 380 pound white tiger I once trained, obedience and assisting persons with disabilities. I get animals accustom to human voices such as Francine Joy Drescher The Nanny and for her nasal voice and thick New York accent and contact and condition animals to respond to all commands.

I don’t really believe she was even listening until I told her I make over $330,000 a year and that I live in a 30 room mansion near the beach.

She must have forgotten that she told me her occupation without me even asking was a Train Conductor and Yard Master. She was now telling me she’s a fashion model who rose to prominence in 2007 as one of the Victoria's Secret Angels. Rose said she now resides on her 125 foot, named Rose Marie II Yacht that was now parked in Montego Bay. Her net worth just short of a million dollars.

When I asked her where is Montego Bay located she changed the subject immediately and asked me what religion I practiced.

So I told Rose Marie that I was originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in which I am a practicing Liberal Quaker and I grew up on a farm. I dated a runaway Quaker girl once upon a time and studied her as if I were studying for my (The Graduate Record Examinations), GRE examination. I told her that my religion is "often times referred to as the "Society of Friends". Being a Liberal Quaker, we have Meeting Houses instead of churches where we meet at weekly/monthly/yearly times. At Meeting Houses, we have special services which are very different from a regular church service. We often sit in silence until someone "talks through God" and shares their revelation. My view with God and Jesus is very personal. I believe every person has their own inner-light and this inner-light can be found eventually. The only thing I really believed about Quakers is the oval shaped box of oatmeal.

Then Rose Marie whispered in my left ear over the base guitar player, that she was once a devoted nun.  I asked her what is exactly a nun? Answering the question of what is a nun, she stated, isn't as simple as I’m about to explain.

You see Robert a nun is a woman who devotes herself to a contemplative, spiritual life in a convent. Becoming a nun is a lifelong commitment that involves vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience to God. Most nuns to whom I got to know lives were centered upon the monastery of several names for Christian religious communities and their relationship with God. Some nuns, however, do charitable work such as teaching or nursing outside the convent. Laypeople also use the term "nun" to refer to what the Catholic Church calls sisters. Sisters also devote themselves to God and the Church but they're more active in the secular world in various ways. The technical difference between the two groups is that nuns take solemn vows, sisters take simple vows. Simple vows aren't any less binding, but they're slightly less restrictive. A solemn vow of poverty requires giving up all worldly goods and possessions. A sister who takes a simple vow can retain ownership of property they inherited from their parents. However they don't get to use their property or pocket any revenue it generates.

I really couldn’t be a nun or sister for the rest of my life because I enjoyed having sex to much and I’m kind of a material girl living in a materialistic world.

I don’t think I heard a word she said while I was watching some craze fan pulling off her used panties and tossing them purple thong looking panties on stage at John Mellencamp.

Someone in the crowd of over 42 thousand people passed us a big fat joint and the lies continued.

I whispered in Rose’s left ear over the loud Trumpet players, that I used to be a Helicopter Fighter Pilot for the National Guard. My main responsibilities as a helicopter fighter pilot I had diverse duties and some of my missions depended upon my unit's current assignments. As a helicopter  fighter pilot I delivered supplies to rescue workers during a natural disaster or I participated in combat missions during deployment. In addition to piloting the aircraft during missions and training, I also fulfill the leadership duties as a warrant officer. This included supervising and training enlisted soldiers in their unit and providing necessary information to commissioned officers, as needed.

I don’t think she heard one word as she grabbed my hand in search of a snack truck. When we finally got through the mob of people she ordered enough food for at least 3 people. I never knew that a super model could eat so much.

After she came out of one of those Porta Potty toilets, she told me that she was once a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.

When I asked her about the owner Jerry Jones, she said that she was real difficult to work for, so she quit.

I then told her that I tried out for the Harlem Globetrotters and made it to the last cut. She asked me did I meet Meadowlark Lemon or Curly Neal.

I looked at her as if she took the last piece of cheese and peanut butter from my mouse trap.  

It was getting dark and Rose Marie, said that she was afraid of the dark.

I wanted to tell her that I was once an Astronaut.

She suggested that we go to my mansion for a night cap. I asked her what about her car? She said she decided to leave her all custom painted pink 2021 Corvette by the dock of the bay and took the bus.

I got on my cell phone and pretended to call my driver. I say Rose Marie how about the two of us getting a bottle of champagne and chill out at the Four Seasons Hotel?

When we got to the hotel it was revealed that her real name was Martha Stewburger and mine Ricardo Lee, even though neither one of us had enough  cash money on hand or enough on our credit cards to pay for a room.