Love you, love you not

Submitted into Contest #50 in response to: Write a story about a proposal. ... view prompt

87 comments

General

They say time flies when you’re doing something you enjoy.

Well, the opposite is just as true. I’ve been waiting for him for over twenty minutes now and with every minute that goes by I am more tempted to leave. It feels like hours. I’m embarrassed and the waitress is getting moody.

But I can’t leave now. That would be even more heartbreaking than what is about to happen.

You see, he never takes me anywhere. EVER. We’ve been together for 5 years and I can’t remember the last time he took me out on a date, so I obviously grew suspicious when he asked me to meet him for dinner after work. 

I thought he either wanted to break up or tell me he’s cheating on me, both options would require a public safe space because I can get really… intense.

After he told me he wanted to go out with me I went around the house on a mission, a mission to find evidence that he was cheating but instead, I found something I wouldn’t have expected in a million years: a ring.

A bloody ring, can you believe it? Why would he want to marry me? Perhaps it’s not even for me! I hope that’s the case because our relationship is so dead that its life insurance has paid out already.

I think our problems started as soon as we got together. We automatically adopted a lifestyle that made us resemble a long-time married couple. There was no mystery, no privacy, it was all about us being together. We both stopped working on ourselves, and things went horribly wrong.

We moved in together just a couple months into the relationship. He was renting a tiny apartment and I started staying over so much that I just stopped leaving altogether. 

He did and still does, so many things that annoy me. He leaves the door open when he goes to the toilet, every time he eats he hoovers the food down like he hasn’t eaten in months, he leaves rubbish everywhere he goes, and the list goes on. And I’m absolutely sure I’m no saint either. 

We got too comfortable too quickly, too soon.

He also does things that I find adorable, not all is bad, he leaves the light on if he goes to bed first so I don’t trip, he makes me a cappuccino every single morning, he does most of the chores because he wants to, and he loves me, even if he doesn’t show it.

But just because he does good things doesn’t mean I have to live with the bad things.

We also have very different views. I want to build a career, make good money and never have to worry about the end of the month. He on the other hand, not so much. He’s comfortable in life. Way too comfortable. He doesn’t mind getting minimum wage if that means routine, normalcy and no risks. 

I’m full of ideas and interests. He only has one interest and I’m pretty sure that in 5 years, I’ve never witnessed him having an actual idea.

But he takes care of me when I’m ill, and he deals with my meltdowns like a champ. He does anything and everything I ask for.

That also bothers me, he does things because I ask him to. He never does something because he thought it would make me happy. It’s always because he’s following orders. And I need a partner, not a butler.

Our sex life is non-existent. Talking about having kids is somehow a thing, but how are we going to make them? I have considered looking for a sex partner elsewhere, but I don’t think infidelity would solve the issue. The issue is us. We don’t belong together. We don’t match. I don’t understand why he would propose. 

When we met the red flags were there. Everything wrong with us today could have been predicted back then. He never showed that he craved me sexually, he never chose what we would eat that day and would conform to whatever I chose, later revealing that he hated the meal. His apartment was filthy, his mattress was bare! He slept on nothing but his mattress and used the tiniest blanket to stay warm.

Why did I even stay with him?

I think I see him through the window. 

Yes! That’s definitely him. With his fancy clothing. Who is he trying to fool?

“Hi” Dry and uninteresting as ever. Good start.

“You’re late. You know how much I hate waiting. You know how much I hate being alone in public. Why did you think it was ok to leave me hanging?”

Silence.

Always silence.

He never talks back. It’s frustrating. It always makes me nervous and I eventually explode with anger.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Can we eat, please? I have prepared something for you.” 

The waitress looks happier, she no longer has a loner occupying one of her tables without ordering. 

She doesn’t look so happy when I order tap water and the soup of the day. I couldn’t care less.

Dinner is uneventful. We don’t talk much as usual. But I can see he’s visibly nervous, terrified even. I know social situations make him really uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable too. That’s probably why he never takes me anywhere. Neither of us really enjoy it.

“I took care of dessert. I’m sorry I didn’t consult you, and that’s why I was a bit late too. I’m sorry.” He says, almost sweating and visibly trembling.

“Your forgiveness will depend on what dessert you got.”

I can see a little smirk form on his face, and suddenly he signals to the waitress. Brave and exclusive. He avoids these situations like the plague. 

The waitress brings an overly fancy tray and puts it in front of me.

Written on it with chocolate fondant is the dreaded question - “Will you marry me?” 

“Is this desse…”

I couldn’t finish my question. He’s already on his knee showing me the ring I had already seen. But he doesn’t know that.

“I know we have our moments, but if it wasn’t clear already, you are the woman of my dreams. I don’t want anyone else in my life but you. And I know I can be difficult, but everything I do is for you. I want you to be the happiest woman in the world, and if you let me, I want to be the happiest man in the world with you. Will you marry me?”

I freeze.

I want to say no. Why am I not saying no?

Unfortunately, the answer is easy.

He makes me absolutely miserable, but I can’t imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh, he makes me look forward to the future and I can be my true self around him.

I don’t need filters, pleasantries or fake politeness. I am more me with him.

So, does he really make me that miserable? If I can only be myself around him, isn’t the problem me? Is being myself making me miserable? It would make sense. I’m irritable and sad most of the time. I get angry at absolutely everything and it only takes a second to make me go from 0 to 100. Truth is, when that happens, he is there to either calm me down or to allow me to take it out on him.

Perhaps I don’t hate him, I hate myself. 

It’s so much easier to blame someone else for our problems than admitting that maybe, the problem is within ourselves.

He knows me better than I know myself. He sees all the ugly in me, and still, he loves me.

And if we’re being real, I love him. I love him more than anything in this world. I want to spend my life with him.

Is suffering worth it? Definitely. Because no matter if I’m with him, with someone else or alone. I will suffer. That’s just life. So if I have to choose, I want to go through life with him.

I look at his face and I see it differently now. He has the purest, most innocent and more beautiful face I’ve ever seen.

I touch it and it’s as soft as ever, his eyes watery and I can feel him shaking. He doesn’t need to wait anymore, my decision is made, and it has always been.

“Yes”

July 12, 2020 01:40

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87 comments

Shelley Els
00:39 Jul 22, 2020

When started reading I was thinking, what a bitch. But as I read on I started to feel a bit sorry for her. Great story :)

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Monica G
12:58 Jul 22, 2020

I’m really happy you enjoyed it! Thank you for your feedback

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20:21 Jul 21, 2020

I enjoyed the humor, how you wrote about all the 'bad stuff' in a good and fun way 😊

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Monica G
21:35 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you! I personally believe that the best way to deal with bad things is to use humour.

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21:50 Jul 21, 2020

Yes, absolutely!

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María Barrios
20:01 Jul 21, 2020

I wanted her to say no, but it made it more realistic. Many of us have been in dull relationships searching for safety and companionship.

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Monica G
20:06 Jul 21, 2020

True! Sometimes it’s easier to settle, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right option:)

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Jonathan Blaauw
16:30 Jul 21, 2020

What a good story. And very relatable in parts. I love the way you draw the reader in and how your characters realisations are gradual, justified and therefore believable. And also spot on with the insight that her issues are with herself not her poor fiance. Very true. Misery is so often self-induced. I just hope her self-realisations last, otherwise there's much misery in store (sequel idea?) I wish I could send this story to my ex... but I'm not that passive aggressive.

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Monica G
16:33 Jul 21, 2020

Ahahha! Love your comment! First of all, I’m very very happy you enjoyed it! You could send her the story and do the classic “oops my finger slipped” ! I actually have 2 ideas in story, one of them is a sequel, another is the same story in the guy’s perspective.

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Jonathan Blaauw
14:54 Jul 23, 2020

Very tempting… 😊 Either, or both of those ideas would be very interesting. I love the idea of a follow up from the other perspective. You could (and will, I’m sure) do so much with that. Let me know when it’s ready.

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Monica G
15:38 Jul 23, 2020

I will!

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Shivani Manocha
14:50 Jul 21, 2020

This is a really sweet story! Well-written. Could you please check out my work and give your feedback?

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Monica G
14:59 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ll take a look at yours

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Evelyn Mullooly
13:24 Jul 21, 2020

I was totally into this story the whole time! This story was so relatable, with people staying together who probably shouldn’t. I loved how rational she seemed the whole time, even when it came time to make her decision.

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Monica G
13:28 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you so much! You’re right, people stay together when they shouldn’t, but love isn’t rational, no matter how rational people try to be. Maybe she’ll regret her decision, or maybe it was the best decision of her life!

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Adah M.M
13:23 Jul 21, 2020

This is amazing :)

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Monica G
13:24 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

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Anjali Malik
06:58 Jul 21, 2020

That was such a BEAUTIFUL story...simple and BEAUTIFUL language..... How could u not win ?🤔 Well great story

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Monica G
10:29 Jul 21, 2020

Thank you so much!! I’m really happy you enjoyed! I don’t know about winning, competition is fierce and there are many great submissions, but I shall keep dreaming ahah

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Anjali Malik
00:53 Jul 22, 2020

Yesss

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Keith B.
18:20 Jul 20, 2020

I enjoyed reading this. I like the line 'And I need a partner, not a butler.' I like the frankness and honesty in the story. Keep writing :) -Keith

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Monica G
20:08 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you Keith! I’m pleased you enjoyed, i shall keep writing!

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Sandhya R
15:54 Jul 20, 2020

The subtle feelings are well expressed.....

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Monica G
20:07 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you for your feedback!

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San T.
05:01 Jul 20, 2020

So real.. loved it.

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Monica G
10:03 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you! I’m really happy you enjoyed it

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00:57 Jul 20, 2020

Love the twist and honesty.

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Monica G
01:08 Jul 20, 2020

Thank you Michelle! Really happy you enjoyed it

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Kiran Bharadwaj
02:51 Jul 19, 2020

Many people choose Thier partners on the basis of money , looks habits e.t.c. This story told people out there that love is about spending our lives together happily without judging eachother. Loved it .

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Monica G
11:09 Jul 19, 2020

Thank you so much for reading! I’m happy you enjoyed

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E. Jude
21:10 Jul 18, 2020

Aww! What a sweet story! It kept me on the edge of my seat, and I loved the twisty element! Well done M. I would love it if you could check out my stories too!!! XElsa

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Monica G
21:14 Jul 18, 2020

Thank you Elsa! I will check it out :)

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16:27 Jul 16, 2020

The reality in the story is just superb!! Keep writing I enjoyed this story so much😊

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Monica G
17:47 Jul 16, 2020

Thank you so much Annie! It means a lot to me :) i shall keep writing!

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18:09 Jul 16, 2020

Your welcome. I look forward to reading more of your stories

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Khizra Aslam
12:02 Jul 16, 2020

Hey there, I saw that you liked my story so i decided to have a look at yours as well. From the beginning till the end, everything was playing in my head and I was smiling while reading your story (my family would have been thinking I'm involve in someone, that's how I smiled 😂) and I love the magical ending. 😍

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Monica G
17:46 Jul 16, 2020

I’m sooo happy you liked it! Your story was amazing too! I’m glad i made you react as if you had some secret online relationship ahah

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Keya J.
06:35 Nov 12, 2021

Oh my gosh, that's so sweet when she finally said yes. The waves crashed pretty hard when the realisation hit the protagonist, but all that matters is that it ends well. Thanks for the enjoyable read!

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Grace M'mbone
19:12 Jul 26, 2020

I like that I have noticed no mistakes in your story. The flow is amazing. It's also spiced up with a but of humour here and there. Wow. It would be a great honour if you took a look at just one of my stories.

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Dylan Thayer
18:21 Jul 18, 2020

Well written. It's hard for me to tell how much she romanticizes him at the end, but they still seem wrong for each other. No self improvement? No choosing for himself? No sex life? It seems more like she's staying with him because he's familiar. This definitely rang true, but in a different way than it hit others. I'm not sure what your intention was; are they supposed to be great together or dysfunctional? Whatever the case, this was a very interesting read =).

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Monica G
18:28 Jul 18, 2020

It could be many things! This is just her point of view. She could be right in blaming herself and he’s not that bad. Or she could be blaming herself as an excuse to stay in the relationship! I think either way the relationship is toxic but she’s afraid of change. But even if he causes all of these issues, he helps her and makes her happy *sometimes*. You could look at it in two ways: they’ll eventually break or she’ll learn to appreciate him and he’ll try to work on all those issues. In real life, I think this wouldn’t work for long!

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Michael Miller
19:15 Jul 16, 2020

Well...I gotta admit, reading this from a lady's perspective was an eye opener. Excellent job with the tension, I actually felt a bit fatigued at the end. (That's a good thing) The ending was a bit of a shocker, I was certain this guy was about to get the boot. Well done.

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Monica G
19:20 Jul 16, 2020

To be fair, he deserved the boot!! Or did he? Maybe his perspective would be a lot different! I may do it one day!

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