Trigger Warning: Mentions of Gore and Depression
I sat on my floor. I didn’t feel like getting up. No, I couldn’t get up. It was like the weight of the world was crushing me to the ground. Lupa moved brushing her dark fur against my face. My empty gaze shifted to her magnificent face. She whined but I didn’t budge. This was all my fault. Every death… My mistake.
~ ~ ~
“Good morning Akio,” Ryu said as he put down a basket.
I didn’t move.
Lupa perked up. The rhythmic thumping of her tail filling the room.
“Good morning to you as well, Lupa,” he said smiling down at her.
She didn’t leave my side but begged persuasively with her eyes. Ryu pet her head, his dark eyes shifted down to me.
“Hey,” he said softly.
My empty gaze shifted to him.
“Apple?”
~ ~ ~
I sat in my windowsill looking out to the green fields outside. Trees lined a “border” far away. A few buildings and homes were scattered around. Most homes had been burned and the ruins still lay scattered around. Every part a haunting memory. Oh, what I’d give to start over. That way, I could learn from this.
Lupa’s bark shattered my thoughts. I glanced over at her. Her large body stood in front of my door. She no doubt wanted to go for a run. I was in no mood to ride today. I glanced back to the outside.
Her whiny bark rattled through me.
“No,” I snapped not completely meaning to sound so harsh. “Go away.”
“Bad night?”
I glanced away again.
“Come on, Akio. You know you can talk to me,” Ryu said as he pushed by Lupa’s massive body.
I stayed silent. I heard him sigh.
“I brought some pastries.”
I didn’t budge.
“You know, this food strike is really starting to worry me, Akio. You gotta eat something. Please.”
I didn’t feel hungry. Actually, I didn’t feel anything. It was like I was a husk of nothing. No feeling and no care. I hated it. I hated how I felt. I would end it all, but then I’d just be hurting one more person and I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Ryu.
“Fine.”
I stood up and managed to make it to my bed. Ryu smiled and handed me an apple pastry of some sort. I didn’t ask what. I bit into it not caring if it tasted good or not. I couldn’t finish it, so Ryu finished the rest.
“Akio, the people are starting to get worried about you,” Ryu said softly as he ate my pastry. “They want to see their prince at a time like this.”
“Tell mother no,” I said curling my legs to my chest.
“Akio, you can’t just live your life in here. Do you think Shun would’ve wanted this?”
“Don’t tell me what he’d want or what he wouldn’t want,” I spat feeling a rush of anger.
“Akio, you can’t change the past.”
I laughed dryly. “Look at the preacher. Maybe you should turn out just like your father.”
He stiffened. I hurt him. A little knot of guilt stirred inside me, but I didn’t show it.
“Akio…”
“Just go away.”
I wanted him to leave. I wanted him to hate me. No one could love me. Not after what I’d done.
“Go away,” I repeated slower. Tears stinging my eyes.
“Akio,” he sat down next to me, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Go…”
I choked a sob. His warm arms fell around me. I leaned against his chest. Why did he try? I am hopeless.
~ ~ ~
I stood in darkness. It was just me in the black.
“Hello?” I called.
“Hello,” a whispery voice answered.
“Where am I?”
“In your bedroom dreaming, young prince,” the voice whispered. It sent chills down my spine.
“Who are you?”
“Someone ready to make a deal.”
I blinked puzzled.
“I’ll meet you tomorrow night. Edge of the woods.”
“What are you-“
“Don’t come alone, young prince, or suffer the consequences.”
I startled awake. My body still filled with tears. I curled up suddenly feeling terribly alone.
~ ~ ~
I pushed the door open to Ryu’s room. It was clean and organized which surprised me. How did he manage to keep both our rooms clean?
“Ryu,” I said nudging at him. “Ryu!”
He groaned opening his eyes slowly. “A-Akio?”
“Can I sleep with you?”
Silence.
“What?”
“I had a very odd dream, and I…”
He blinked. “I guess you can. Come here.”
He shifted over making enough space for me. I lay down draping his covers over myself.
“Do you want to talk about the dream?”
“It was just black except me. There was a whispery voice. It said to meet it tomorrow night by the edge of the woods.”
“Let me guess, it said come alone.”
I shook my head. “It said to come with someone or suffer the consequences. I- I didn’t like it,” I whispered.
“Hey,” his hand brushed my cheek, “you’re safe now.”
I snuggled closer to him. He didn’t hesitate in the slightest before wrapping his strong arms around me.
~ ~ ~
I opened my eyes slowly. I got a face full of Ryu’s chest. I blushed pushing myself up.
“Good morning,” he said calmly.
Lupa sat on top of him. Her tail wagged at the sight of me. I smiled faintly.
“Lupa, off.”
She stood up. Ryu grunted as she stepped on that cursed spot. I almost flinched feeling sympathy for him.
“That…”
“Just… don’t,” he said standing up.
I nodded doing the same. Lupa bound over and smothered me in kisses.
“Ack, thank you,” I said pushing her away.
“She’s just happy to see you out of your room,” Ryu called from his closet.
I nodded glancing away from him. “Ryu?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
I looked at him meeting his dark eyes. “For being there.”
He smiled softly. “Akio, I’ll always be there.”
~ ~ ~
“Akio, you’re strangely…”
“Willing?” I finished for him as I rode on Lupa’s back. I agreed to go for a ride with Ryu today.
“Yeah… You sure you’re ok?”
I nodded directing Lupa to go right. “Why don’t we go by the woods later?”
“Akio, you’re not thinking about that dream, are you?”
I blinked. “You remember that?”
“I remember everything you tell me.”
I glanced away feeling heat flush to my face.
“…Most of the time. Please don’t test that theory,” he said quickly his face turning pink.
I grinned slightly. “I bet I can get to the woods faster.”
He smirked. “Game on.”
~ ~ ~
We sat by the line of trees. The wolves playing a few paces away. I watched the sun set over the palace. It scattered purples across the almost night sky.
“Guess we’ll get to see about this dream,” Ryu said next to me.
“Hmm.”
I tossed him the rest of my apple. I’d lost my appetite. He bit into it without hesitation.
“Why did you stay?”
“Because I care,” he answered simply. “And that dream did s-“
“No, why did you take care of me? ‘Because I care’ isn’t a proper answer,” I said glancing up at him.
He sighed. “Because I knew you’d given up. I thought and still think that if I didn’t give up on you, you’d stick around for longer and finally see the perfect person you are on the inside.” He smiled.
I glanced away. “I’m so sorry Ryu.” Tears spilled from my eyes. “I’m so sorry for being to pathetic. I-“
“Hey, hey. I never said that.” He moved closer to me wrapping me in a perfect hug. “This is exactly why.”
“What?”
“You’re so strong, Akio. You’ve dealt with so much over the years and yet you’re so hard on yourself.”
“I am not strong.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Ryu, I can’t lift a sword.”
“…Well maybe not physically.”
I laughed softly. “You’re a fool.”
“And yet you’re the idiot.”
We moved closer together. Our lips inches apart.
“Welcome, Ryu, son of Lord Kaki, and Prince Akio, son of the late King Asahi,” a whispery voice said sending chills through me.
“Akio-“
“Leave Ryu alone,” I commanded standing up.
I noticed a figure. They were vailed in shadow. They wore a long flowing cloak with the hood up.
“That is your choice, young prince,” they said stepping forward, “for what I have to give comes with a great price.”
“And what is it that you have to give?” Ryu demanded stepping in front of me.
“The young prince a chance to start over in a new realm.”
The words struck me with shock. I could start over. I wouldn’t have to worry about my mistakes. I wouldn’t suffer knowing I had killed my own brother. Ryu must’ve seen this.
“And your price?”
“The willing heart of the one he loves most.”
My head shot up. “What?!”
“That is my price, young prince. Your loved one must be willing to give up his own heart.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I’ll just stay here. No-“
“Akio, I saw how you perked up.”
“Ryu, you don’t understand-“
“Don’t I?” He stared at me with those perfect dark eyes. “Akio, I haven’t seen you like this in a year. Maybe you don’t belong in this realm.”
“Ryu,” I said begging. “You don-“
“Who is it? I’ll go talk to them. With their-“
“Ryu,” tears swam in my vision, “Ryu it’s you.”
He stared at me his expression softening.
“Ryu, I can’t live without you,” I sobbed moving forward holding him tightly.
“Hey,” he said softly tilting my head up, “I’ll always be here.”
Then he kissed me. I can’t describe how it felt in words. I wouldn’t be doing its perfection justice.
“But I’ll do what makes you happy.”
“No,” I breathed but I was too late.
He tore away from me pulling out a knife from his belt.
“Ryu! NO!”
“I love you Akio,” he said smiling as he drove the knife into his chest.
“RYU!” I screamed running forward.
I cradled his bloody body in my grasp.
“Be happy,” he managed.
“No, no Ryu. You can’t. I love you. Please.”
He died, right there in my arms.
“Bring me his heart, young prince.”
I glanced up tears staining my cheeks red.
“Don’t let his sacrifice be for nothing.”
I shook as I cut open his perfect chest. Blood seeped onto my hands spilling everywhere. I gagged unable to stand the sight. I reached inside him gripping his heart. In one swift movement I ripped his heart from his chest. I shook both from fear and grief.
“Your payment,” I managed before I vomited right next to my Ryu’s head.
The person picked up the heart off the ground. “Very well and your payment.”
I glanced up at my Lupa who whined. “Goodbye, my sweet angel.”
I was engulfed in pure power.
~ ~ ~
The young man stared out the window. It was a normal summer day. People played in the streets, but he had no interest in such things. He always felt a sense of grief and guilt though he could never tell why. He was found covered in blood that wasn’t his own dressed in very old timey clothes by a highway. They never figured out who’s blood it was. When they asked, he always said someone he loved. If they questioned their name, he’d say he couldn’t remember which was true. He always felt fuzzy and different. His love for wolves and dogs made him the “weird kid”, but he felt that they were powerful and important. He had his own dog that his foster parents had bought him. A large black dog that look kinda like a wolf. He called her Lupa. If they asked why, he said that she reminded him of someone.
“Akio?”
“Yes ma’am?” Akio called back turning his empty gaze away from the window.
“Go outside love.”
“Yes ma’am.”
He stood up. The most important thing about this young man, he never felt that he belonged. He knew he didn’t belong here, and he would figure out where he truly belonged. He’d find out everything, or… that’s what he told himself when he couldn’t sleep because he was scared of the nightmares of the horrible chilling voice that whispered horrible things inside his ear. He couldn’t have done those horrid things… Right?
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