Bedtime Fantasy Funny

Ok...so Jonny the turtle, Harry the poodle, and Claire the hedgehog were on a road trip. They were in Jonny's Leaf 2020 with hatchback seating perfect for Claire to snuggle into. The Leaf 2020 didn't go particularly fast, which was ideal for Jonny - he didn't like fast very much. Now, you may ask, "Where do a turtle, a poodle, and a hedgehog like to go in their spare time?", great question! But where do they get the money for a Leaf 2020, where do they even buy a Leaf 2020, and how did a turtle, poodle, and hedgehog become friends? See these are silly questions, they don't need to be answered because a turtle, a poodle, and a hedgehog are somehow riding in a vehicle and that's enough to make an interesting story...right? The turtle was driving ever so slowly, as he often did, but Claire was becoming very impatient. 

“Can I drive?” she asked, accidentally puffing up her spikes from sheer excitement and pricking Harry. 

“Ow, Clumsy Claire! No, you never get to drive. Only Jonny can drive the Leaf” irritated and sore, Harry replied and batted Claire’s quills away.

“Sorry Claire... I drive and I don’t like it fast.” Jonny slowly said his words to Claire as if he was reading them off of a newspaper with a magnifying glass.

Claire continued to get antsy and could not sit still. First, she shoved her butt to the right, then to the left; she even tried laying on her side. This was common for Claire but today it was too much for Harry.

“Listen Claire, you need to lay still!” Harry shouted into Claire’s quills that puffed up at his boisterous voice. 

“I cannot help it, it is in my nature” Claire casually replied, tilting her sun hat.

Claire tried to contain herself in the back of the Leaf but the thought of driving kept making her feet kick. She closed her eyes and tried to visualize the car going very fast down the road. The leaves and berries would be going so fast passing the Leaf. She saw grubs and worms floating in front of her eyes. They were so yummy-looking as they rained down on her. Claire opened her mouth and caught the worms and the grubs, chomped on them and licked her face to keep the scent and taste for later. The Leaf was shaking and going faster, more worms and grubs were falling into Claire’s mouth. She couldn’t keep up with them all, some were landing on her face and belly and onto the road around her. She had her tongue out, slapping at the bugs and licking as much off of her furry belly; very furry and thick. Claire was licking away, the Leaf was shaking about, and Harry was slapping at Claire and yelling.

“Stop licking me, you hog!” Harry’s shouts finally awoke Claire from the most surreal dream she had ever had. She had dog hair in her mouth and no bugs or worms. She tried using her tongue to push the dog hair out of her mouth, Harry kept yelling, and Jonny just kept smiling and driving. You see, Jonny had just had a vision too and he now knew where they were all going to go today - The Chocolate Castle. 

The Chocolate Castle was built in a land so old that it predates time, at least that’s what they say. The mountains are the tallest around and have the founders of Creature Cavern etched into the side of them. Creature Cavern was more than just a cavern, it included Chocolate Castle, The Land of ‘Ol, and Hometown. Ironically, Hometown is a large area where everybody lives, except the founders, and thus is home to all. 

The highway through the tall, grassy marsh was long and slow, even for Jonny. He broke from his daydreaming and pulled the Leaf over onto a pebble road. He parked and gave Harry and Claire a chance to get out and stretch their legs. As Harry chased his tail and Claire pushed her snout through the thick grass, Jonny sat and soaked up the sun. He thought he wanted to get out and move around too, but the sun felt good on his shell. Minutes passed and the marsh became quiet; Johnny envisioned the triple chocolate leaves that they sold at the castle. He yearned to be there already. He opened his eyes and found Harry and Claire staring at him.

“What is it?” Jonny questioned, blinking slowly and constantly to get the dirt out of his eyelids. 

“The grass is waving about and Harry thinks it is a weasel.” Claire declared in a rather timid voice, even for her.

“I didn’t say ‘weasel’, you said that!” Harry panted and contested Claire. His voice was low too and he was very close when talking to Jonny.

“Okay, then we leave” Jonny advised them and began to reach for the keys in the ignition. 

“No!” Harry and Claire whispered with urgency  and tugged Jonny away from the steering wheel. 

“It will hear us” Claire whispered, almost into Jonny’s ear. Claire explained how Harry had just seen the grass shuffle again. They were sure that the creature was nearby. 

Harry hid behind Jonny’s shell for protection. He remembered stories Grandpuppa would tell him about attacks from weasels while in the bush back in the day. He imagined weasels were large, ferocious beasts with the ability to kill any animal. His Grandpuppa told him that it was a miracle he survived the battles; so they must be tough and dangerous. This is the only knowledge of weasels that was known to the trio. 

They sat in the Leaf 2020 and were all bunched up together in the front now. Both Claire and Harry were curled up trying to hide behind Jonny. Claire didn’t have any real reason to be scared of weasels, yet she hid and was just as scared as Harry (maybe more). Harry wished he had his bone. At least he would have something to bite down on, instead of his tongue, which is what he accidentally did with the state of fear he was in. Harry whined with his bit tongue, Claire hissed and tried to not raise her quills enough to poke Harry again, and Jonny listened. He listened to the grass rustling and moving. It sounded like something large enough to scare almost any creature he knew. As per usual for Jonny, he was more intrigued than frightened. He listened intently and peered into the grass as his friends peered at their closed eyelids. As the sound from the tall grass came closer and got louder, Jonny felt his friends trembling behind him.

He shouted, “Hey! Who’s in there?”

He tightened his skin and stretched his neck to look taller. In a moment, a dark shadow appeared at the edge of the grass. A paw poked out of the grass and it was surprisingly small for a weasel. Johnny’s fears waned and he said more pleasantly, “Hello there”.

Harry and Claire glanced out and saw now that they were very misled. On the hood of the Leaf 2020, was a small barn mouse wiggling its whiskers and sniffing the air. 

“I’m so sorry if I frightened anyone. I tend to make a lot of noise when I’m in the tall grass to frighten away any bigger, hungry creatures. I saw that all you weren’t a threat and that I had scared you. I am sorry.” The mouse continued to sniff the ground and the nearby grass.

“What are you looking for, mouse?” Harry asked somewhat rudely. 

“My name is Cleo and I am looking for some fruit,” she started to scurry to the back of the car and sniffed her way to the grass again.

“Wait!” Jonny quickly called out, surprising to everyone. “We are heading to the Chocolate Castle. They have fresh fruit and choco-covered cherries. I’m going to get some triple choco-leaves. Would you like to come?” 

Jonny’s exclamation certainly thrilled Cleo as she leaped into the air, cheering and climbed into the Leaf 2020.

“Wow, now I can get a choco-bone meal”, Harry barked and started to slobber out the window.

“Yes sir, and I will gladly grab some strawberry worm surprise!” Claire chomped and started to lick her fur looking for the grubs from earlier. 

Jonny pulled the convertible Leaf 2020 out onto the highway again, now with one more partner in the front with him and Harry. They were all smiling and thinking of one thing - The Chocolate Castle. 

June 24, 2021 16:23

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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