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Adventure Drama Mystery

The Dark Elevator 

It was 10:30 am on Tuesday September 4, 2000. I was the only person on the elevator when the 

power went out. I’m standing there in total darkness and silence. 

The only sound I could hear was my own breathing.

I started to panic and hyperventilate. I yell, hey I’m in here,

can anyone hear me?

I’m pounding on the inside of the elevator, my heart is racing.

I’m starting to breathe heavier and it’s getting warmer from my breathing. My claustrophobia is starting to get the best of me. 

I started to walk around aimlessly, touching and feeling with my hands on the inside of the elevator to try and find the door, when I did find it, I pounded as hard as I could with my fists until I couldn’t no more. I was wasting my energy. I was yelling as loud as I could but only silence.

I was yelling help I’m in here can anyone hear me? 

After several minutes pounding the inside of the elevator

With no response, I had to sit down and try to stay calm so I wouldn’t start thinking about my fears that would over take my thoughts.

With short deep breaths, it was working. I read somewhere, that is supposed 

To help. I closed my eyes and tried to visualize

A nice peaceful place and thinking to myself that the power will soon be back on and I will continue on with the rest of my day and put it all behind me.

But deep in my heart I really had no idea what was going on outside those elevator doors and what floor I was on when the power went out.

I reached in my purse and took out my cellphone, It was at 20% I’m like; “No service” I still tried sending a text message, it failed to send. “Damnit!” I said out loud. 

Oh God! I can’t breathe, please help me. Please, I kept repeating over and over. The time on my phone was showing 11:00 am. I’m thinking to myself, I’ve  been in here for only half 

An hour, When is the power going to come back on. 

I stood up and used the flashlight on my phone to start pushing 

The emergency button, nothing. I started

Yelling help, hey, can anyone hear me, help!  pounding on the doors with my fists again, yelling 

louder and louder. Nothing. I used the flashlight on my phone again and looked around to find a way out again. There was the square door up above 

That I could see but I had no tools other than my car keys that I could use to 

pry it open. I thought to try using the keys on the door maybe. The power on my phone was slowly going down and the half hour has now turned into

two hours. Attempting to use my car keys to try and open the elevator door

wasn’t working. I had to sit down again. I was getting thirsty, Thank God, I had my water bottle

with me, can’t be without it wherever I go, I also had a few pieces of gum in

my purse with some mints too. My water was only half full, I needed to tell myself to only drink when I needed, since I had no idea how long I would be in this dark elevator. What if the power doesn’t come back on. What do I do? I’m sitting 

there having all these scenarios going through my head all alone with only my thoughts and four walls. I’m telling myself, I can’t believe

This is happening, why? I knew I needed to save my energy too. It was still getting warmer 

in the elevator, with no air conditioning not good. Why is there no backup power for this damn building?

What the hell do I do now. I laid down on the floor of the elevator to relax and stay calm. 

I closed my eyes. I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up it was still dark I was groggy and blurry eyed. I try to find my phone.

The time was 2:45 pm. My eyes were blurry trying to see if that really was the right time.

My god, I slept that long! Still no power on. I felt so helpless. I watched my share of McGyver

Shows in my time, and people trapped elevators. I thought about the square above me. 

There were no hand rails in the elevator. My god, they need hand rails, just for this purpose in Case you are trapped in an elevator  alone and your not 8 feet tall!

I’m only 5 ft 1”in tennis shoes, Levi’s and t-shirt. My purse did have one of those long straps that

you can unhook and you use it s a handbag. I was thinking of ways to utilize what I had to get myself out.

I dumped everything I had in my purse into the floor and used the phone flashlight to find anything

I could possibly use to open the square door. I had a pocket knife and my keys. I took the pocket knife and extended everything on it. Thank god my husband gave this to me, but it can be useful in some situations. Don’t know if it will be helpful to me today? I will see. Before I tried any tool on the

pocket knife I needed to have a piece of gum and a small swig of water. My stomach was growling a little bit. But my mind is telling me I’m fine without eating I need to get out of here. Hunger was not a priority at this moment. As I’m using the flashlight on my phone searching for some way I could use these tools on my pocket knife to open anything would be a plus right now. I have always been a self sufficient, logic minded, survival kind of gal growing up with two brothers and my father teaching me how to maintain a car, hunt and fishing and for my mom growing a garden and cooking meals for us. I knew deep in my heart I was going to make it out of here. On my own, or with some outside help. I pray, and have hope that help is on the way! Until then I need to try to figure a way out.

Looking on the panel with all the buttons I noticed a light coming through what looked like a key slot for use from emergency technicians to remove the panel. I took what looked like a corkscrew on my pocket knife and was just about to poke it in slot and the power came on and the elevator doors opened! I saw my heroes. The Dark Elevator was an experience of all the fears a person could possibly had and lived to tell about it.

September 06, 2020 20:57

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1 comment

Andrew Krey
13:31 Sep 18, 2020

Hi Lynda, I liked your story, there were some minor errors but that's expected with the short deadline. As far as further suggestion, I think the best way to improve your writing is to focus on 'show not tell'. There were a few times you stated the emotion, rather than express the emotion through action. It's a minor tweak but could have a massive impact on your writing. Hope the feedback was helpful. Happy writing

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