Get The Party Started.

There once was a family. It was rather large, very diverse and filled with unusual creatures. There were rats and cats and elephants.

And perhaps a few unicorns.

The family got rid of the rats.

They looked after the cats.

And they did their very best to ignore the elephants.

And the unicorns?

Those damned unicorns were a wild bunch, and not unlike their dazzling, distant cousins, the zebras, they liked to show off.

They were rather famous for using humans as instruments to get their way and grabbed pretty much any excuse to get a party started.

Now the Big Guy, the one everyone called God Almighty, wasn’t especially happy with these rash, impulsive thrill seekers.

Truth be told, He had a history of quickly becoming annoyed with many of his creations. For all the world, it seemed that each one was hell bent on defying his direction. His beautiful plan for a well ordered world, with a place for everything and everything in its place got complicated, almost from the beginning.

Many times He regretted having produced some of His creations and His methods of dealing with the ‘problems’, only ended up making things worse.

He often hemmed and hawed about His decision to evict Eve and Adam from His lovely paradise, a place named Eden (just a little west of Sodom and slightly north of Gomorrah.) 

His wrath seemed well founded and yet, the banished pair did little to rectify their belligerent disregard for His rules. In fact they went about their merry way seemingly oblivious to all that they had lost.

God found some comfort watching as they attempted to build lives outside the umbrella of His magnificent provisions. He especially chuckled as Eve slaved away in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant most of the time. He smiled benignly as Adam lay back beneath the shade of his favorite tree, trying to figure out how to get Eve to join him.

This deity was NOT above pettiness and He had ways to get even that defied imagination.

Back to the unicorns.

In yet another fit of anger, God had decided to start again.

He had a plan for a more ordered world, but knew first He needed to get rid of a few obstructions. 

He was able to find one human being who was willing to follow instructions. He set about providing this guy, Noah, with the blueprint to building a magnificent cruise ship with room to house two of every creature on the earth, plus several of his own family members.

Upon Noah’s completion of this huge vessel, God began a torrential downpour of unrelenting rain. It went on and on, eventually covering the entire earth and all those less fortunates who were not invited to Noah’s floating party.

As mentioned, the unicorns were rather silly creatures and though they had every intention of making the trip, somehow got waylaid. 

Some say they were busy frolicking and hiding, playing silly games. Many observed them kicking and splashing as the rain began to puddle and pool in ever deepening volumes.

Noah called and called, but eventually gave up as the unicorns seemed oblivious to what was about to unfold. 

Some say they were drunk. 

A possibly correct assumption. For sure, Noah already had his hands full with this particular problem on his great ark. 

Most of the animals were nervous, especially as in normal circumstances they did not mix well and in their natural habitat, made very poor neighbours.

It was the perfect excuse for many to turn to alcohol and other drugs as a way of escape. Some of the travellers remained sober but quite a number of the passengers exhibited drug induced behaviours. For the most part, this activity reduced tensions considerably.

There were some exceptions. The pink elephants were not known to hold their alcohol well and due to their size, created quite a stir. Noah often regretted adding these unpredictable creatures to the passenger list.

The white elephants came to the rescue - subdued their ebullient cousins and brought some degree of order. They had managed to offload a few useless possessions in a grand sale just before boarding, so were in a particularly good mood. They were none too tolerant of their drunken relatives and slightly embarrassed to claim connection.

By far the most troublesome elephant was the plain old gray one. She was kinda mouthy and impulsive. She proved to be a perfect scapegoat and reluctantly accepted the role that allowed others to blame her for their own problems. She would sigh with frustration and sadness as many in her life pointed fingers proclaiming her to be a crazy troublemaker. Even those closest to her would whisper, not so loudly, “She’s not normal.” Many believed she belonged in a mental institution and didn’t hesitate to tell her so.

Indeed the elephants proved to be most problematic. They gave Noah endless hours of worry. He called many boardroom meetings to discuss the dilemma and finally a decision was made. 

A unanimous consensus was reached, the best course of action would be to simply to pretend the elephants didn’t exist, that they weren’t actually there.

Turns out this was NOT the best solution.

It seemed the more they were ignored, the mouthier they became, especially the gray one.

Eventually people couldn’t even carry on a conversation without the pudgy pachyderms passing snide remarks and not so subtle innuendos. Gatherings became rather silent affairs with a distinct funereal undertone.

Finally, the silence would become so loud that people left.

So, we’re still on the boat. The rain had by this time ceased and everything was relatively peaceful.

The endless expanse of water with no land in sight got a bit boring and so one of the animals had a brilliant idea, “Let’s have a party.”

That suggestion was all it took for excitement to begin stirring amongst the residents.

Noah and his family did their best to keep things down to a dull roar. They were too busy feeding everyone and cleaning up poop to be bored. They were a little worried things might get out of hand, but were not adverse to some distraction and so went along with plans.

Not all the animals were so enthusiastic.

The pink elephant was looking forward to an alcoholic spree, the white elephant had a few sales pitches in mind, but the ordinary old gray was not looking forward to the event.

Somehow, she knew that she’d end up being ignored, shunned and banished to some corner. Worse yet, she knew that even though she were to sit in the middle of the room, she’d still be treated as though invisible.

So the night of the party arrives. The gray elephant, who’s name was Ginny, reluctantly donned her party attire. She looked in the mirror and thought, “I look pretty good, maybe if I just keep my mouth shut everyone will like me.”

Right, like this was ever going to happen.

Sure enough, as the evening wore on everyone became drunker and drunker. The lone pink elephant multiplied, at least in the blurry eyes of many of the drinkers.

As a way of escaping the drama, the white elephant left the party to take inventory for his next sale and so Ginny was left holding the bag.

Due to her size, she usually sat in the middle of the room. Even when she got mouthy, people simply acted as though she were not there.

Ginny, though very extroverted, did not enjoy confrontation. As a seasoned scapegoat, her self-confidence was mostly non-existent and she had a bad habit of feeling sorry for herself.

Somehow, she had worked up the courage to join the party. She optimistically wondered if this one might be different and her fellow revellers would accept and welcome her.

This was not to be and as the party became more and more lively, she felt less and less welcome. 

She decided to take a break and went up to the top deck, climbed out a window to the roof for a breath of fresh air and lo and behold, what did she see?

Two unicorns!

Somehow, this frolicking pair had survived the great flood. Turns out they had grown wings and had managed to follow the great ark, sneakily avoiding being seen.

At night they would perch on the thatched roof, carefully munching just enough hay to stay alive.

They were beginning to get hungry and every morning while the others slept, would fly off looking for some dry land.

They were horrified when Ginny emerged from the window and found the pair nibbling.

They tried to grab her so that she could not return and tell the others of their occupancy on the roof, but before they could act, Ginny was gone. Quick as a bunny, she squeezed back through the window, rushed down to the party level and began trumpeting her news.

As usual, no one paid attention to her. Again, it was as though she were invisible.

She bellowed, “The unicorns, they survived.” 

“They are up on the roof and quickly eating most of it.”

Still no one paid any attention to her warnings.

It could’ve been that by this time everyone was either passed out or well on their way to a drunken oblivion. Ginny decided to give up. Even though she could be a bit of a drama queen, she recognized defeat and for the most part knew when to throw in the towel. She knew that her reluctance to join the party had been well founded. 

She was more than a little pissed off, because she believed her news should’ve made her the star. But as usual, this was not to be.

And the unicorns? 

Well, they flew off to a distant mountain, (it may have been Olympus) that had miraculously survived the flood. They decided to make this uncharted peak their permanent home and wisely decided to be seen no more.

They made a delightful home with members of a tribe of lesser deities, distant cousins to the one and only top guy - the Big Kahuna, known simply as GOD, the one and only.

They knew this secluded mountain to be a safe place. They knew if they lay low their existence would remain shrouded in mystery. They were satisfied to become the stuff of legends, beings of mythology.

They were happy. For the most part they ignored the call of the wild and only occasionally longed for someone to invite them to a party.

And our lovely Ginny? The reluctant party goer who secretly longed to be the star?

Well, after many years of therapy and enthusiastically participating in several 12 step groups she finally was able to develop healthier boundaries.

As she developed a better sense of who she was, her self-confidence grew and her ego became more balanced.

Her reluctance to join parties disappeared.

After the ark landed on dry ground and things got back to normal, she bought herself a fancy sports car with the license plate, "Stunning number one Superstar".

Everyone looked forward to her arrival.