The Beginning: Captain Phool

"What's that drunkard talking about, then?" I asked my mate at the table with me, as we looked over to a pirate in the middle of the room, shouting incoherently and pointing.

"I don't know, honestly, something about dragons," Decker replied, squinting at the pirate as if that would somehow clear the noise. I shook my head and tossed back my ale in one chug. I stood and wandered over to the small crowd circled around the loud man.

"And you should all come with me, there will be riches galore!" he was shouting at everyone. Looking around, you could see most of the crowd was chucking at his drunken antics.

"Oi, what are you searching for, Captain Nobeard?" one man jeered from the crowd, and it was met with raucous laughter. The drunken man rubbed his bare chin self-consciously, then responded with anger in his voice.

"The Dragon's Divination Rod!" he announced. The crowd laughed and you could hear jokes being tossed about regarding a dragon's "rod" and where this man could place it. I watched the drunken pirate for a minute and raised my hand..

"What's in it for your crew?" I shouted over the din of noise, and people became silenced. The pirate looked at me and squinted.

"Glory, gold, the world, mate," he responded quite seriously.

"I'll join, we've got nothing in this town since harvesting season is over," I responded, and the crowd laughed at me. I shrugged it off. "At least it's an adventure," I added. The man came up to me and offered his hand.

"Welcome aboard, seadog," he said simply, and I shook his hand. "I'm Captain Phool the Beardless, conqueror of the seas, defeater of the kraken, the mermaid silencer," he droned.

"I'm Bard, the farmer. This here's my mate, Decker," I said as my friend appeared at my side. The two shook hands.

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The next morning, Captain Phool's ship left the harbor under perfect sailing weather. He had assigned me as first mate since I had taken it upon myself to direct the other mates getting on board. Phool didn't seem to know his way around a boat that well, only how to tell others what to do. We both stood at the bow of the ship, looking out over the open sea. Saltwater sprayed my face and I found myself to be in a wondrous mood, debating over whether I should be a pirate for the rest of my life. It felt very freeing. I leaned in to talk to the captain.

"This is nice, the wind in your hair and how clean everything is out here," I said absently. He looked at me. "I could see myself being a pirate for a while," I chuckled. He smirked.

"Being a pirate is great, the freedom is wonderful. Of course, you're on the run from the authorities and every law abiding citizen most of the time, and you run the risk of being hanged if you're caught or drowning, or being keelhauled if there's a mutiny," he said, and I glared at him for ruining my moment. "Sorry, mate, I'm just being honest about it, it's not a bed of roses," he added, throwing his hands up in defense. He turned around the face the length of the ship. He began shouting.

"You there, get below decks and start peeling potatoes! We're going to need some good food to keep up the morale on this here ship," he said, pointing at one of the men leaning against the side of the ship. The man shook his head and headed down below the deck. Phool turned to me and dropped his voice.

"I'm going to need your help when we cross the Waters of Periphal Disaster, we'll be hitting those within a day," he added, striding off towards the captain's quarters. I stared after him in disbelief. Running after him, I followed him into his quarters and joined him at the large table he had set up with a decaying map classically stuck to it with knives buried into the wood. He pointed at an area on the map that was blue with squiggly lines on it.

"Right here, due north 65 degrees, then onward to the Isle of Trepidation," he said, moving his finger along our route, "then to Cataclysm Caves. That's where we will find our treasure," he added, tapping his finger down on the map hard. I gaped at him in awe.

"You didn't mention anything about this being dangerous," I said meekly, not wanting to sound scared. He looked at me and snorted.

"What did you think pirates really do, eh?" he asked, crossing his arms. "We look for treasure, not all of us are rude pillagers that steal from hardworking citizens. Some of us do have morals," he scoffed, then walked out of his cabin. He made his way back to the bow and then looked up at the crow's nest.

"We're going to need someone up there! Why isn't the crow's nest being manned?" he shouted in irritation. A gaggle of men broke apart and started running around the ship. One shimmied his way up the mast and pulled himself into the crow's nest. I joined the captain again.

"Alright, what should we expect on this trip?" I asked, trying to stay calm and get more information. He shook his head.

"A few dangerous spots, some minor curses, maybe other pirates," he added. "But the treasure will be worth it!" he added, grinning.

We sailed all through the day uneventfully, until the sun was setting on us. The man in the crow's nest began shouting that he saw something ahead, and Phool ran to the front of the ship for a better view. Ahead, dark clouds circled above the water. Phool grinned.

"The Waters of Peripheral Disaster," he breathed.

"How do you know it's not just a storm?" I asked. He looked at me the way a wise elder looks at a foolish child.

"Mate, do you see clouds anywhere else? Notice how they're only over that one spot, going for miles around, but only that one spot?" he said, pointing. Now that he said that, it did look like a very large storm cloud had been placed onto a glass pane above the water. We could have sailed around it, but it would have added an extra day or two to our journey and we didn't bring enough food for that. And from what I understood so far about pirates, we just didn't sail around things. Phool seemed to get more excited the closer we got.

"Alright men, we're getting close! We'll all be fine if you all just focus ahead and ignore anything that happens while we're going through!" he shouted at the crew, and it was met with mostly not worried agreement. As we continued forward, the water seemed to get very choppy and the air around us darkened and filled with electricity. I started getting worried about the ship capsizing as the water got worse, but Phool stayed fast, holding onto the stern and looking out over the water. Suddenly, I began seeing creatures right outside my field of vision, flitting about. Every time I turned to get a better look at them, they vanished. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the men fall overboard, but when I looked in his direction he was crouching on the deck, holding his hands to his ears.

"Stay strong, men! We don't have much longer to go!" Phool nearly screamed in mad enthusiasm. While I was only standing a few feet from him, his voice sounded like it was melting, or as if he were underwater. Flying creatures flitting about just out of my visual reach were causing me to breathe faster and my heart to pump faster. I finally realized that closing my eyes could help with that problem, but then the sounds started. Screaming and shouting sounds, it sounded as if our ship had been knocked over and my crew was drowning. Despite my best efforts at calming myself, I opened my eyes to reassure my head, only to see one of our men fall over the side of the ship. He had been dancing around with his hands over his ears and his eyes clenched shut and hadn't realized how close he was to the edge until it was too late. I squeezed my eyes shut again and shouted.

"Captain, man overboard!" I yelled as loud as I could.

"We can't stop, First Mate Bard, the sea will swallow us all!" he shouted over the roar of rushing water hitting the side of the boat. As quick as it all started, everything became silent. I opened my eyes cautiously and didn't see anything moving. Looking around, I saw clear skies ahead of us and the stormy backdrop of the waters we just exited. I looked at Captain Phool, worried and scared.

"I told you, mate, being a pirate ain't easy," he said, looking at me with more wisdom than I ever thought was possible. "Onward to glory," he shouted to the rest of the crew.