Hubert's Pet

Hubert’s Pet

Alice Moore was perched slightly behind the curtains armed with a pair of binoculars.  It was ten in the morning and right on cue Hubert Rainbrough the neighbour who lived across the concession road on the same farm that he had been born and raised walked out of the house with a brown bag clutched in his right hand.

“What could he possibly have in that brown bag?”

“Why don’t you call him up and ask him that way you won’t lose any sleep over it?” Her husband Ed said behind the morning newspaper.  That irritating smirk was there without a doubt.

“Oh, Ed, hush now, you should take more interest in what goes on around your own door.”

“I’ll let you know next time I want to be a Nosy Rosy.”

“I am not a Nosy Rosy.” She turned toward him and there was the flush of anger in her cheeks.

“Hmmph,” was his reply behind the newspaper.

Alice returned to her perch.

“Every morning he walks out of that house with a brown paper bag and heads toward the bush.  What could be in that bag?”

Ed looked from behind the newspaper and just shook his head. He returned to reading.

Hubert hooked on the laneway that led to the small clump of trees in back of the Rainbrough farm. He walked at a normal pace unaware that his every step was being watched, calculated.

About twenty-five minutes later, he arrived at the entrance of the bush and entered the path.  About half-an-hour later, he emerged and casually walked back home.

“Hubert Rainbrough is a hard man to read. He always has the business face on when he leaves the house and heads to the bush.” Alice was talking out loud hoping for some kind of response.  “What could he possible have hidden in that small clump of trees?”

“It’s Hubert, he’s been my neighbour ever since we were little tots and he has nothing to hide.”  Ed said.

“I am not sure about that.  I think that he is holding back on a huge secret.”

“For God sake, Alice, Hubert Rainbrough doesn’t have a secret.”

“Someday, I am going to go to that bush and solve this mystery.”

“Mind your own damn business.”

“Not long after Hazel passed on, he’s been going to that bush every day with a brown paper bag.  I feel like a detective trying to solve a very deep, mysterious case.”

“You’re an old nosy neighbour who doesn’t know her place.”

She waved Ed off.

By the time Hubert had returned, Alice had left her post.

Hubert went inside and took out the brown paper bag out of his pocket. He smoothed it out carefully, meticulously and placed it on the little counter where it waited duty the next day.

He checked the answering machine for any messages and there was none. The house was quiet, only the ticking of the clock and the fridge when it started up provided any white noise.

Like he did every day, Hubert moved to the living room and sat on his cheer. He plopped the glass of water on the table next to him placing it carefully on a coaster. When his Hazel was alive she always chided him to put a glass of whatever he was drinking on a coaster so not to stain the table.

Now that she was gone, the little boy rebel in him wanted to just put the glass down on the table, but to honour his wife, he placed it on a coaster.

Around him where pictures of the two of them celebrating their fiftieth anniversary. All the neighbours had been around including Ed and Alice.

There were pictures of his two children, Sally and Hubert Jr., their respective spouses and the grandchildren.  There were five little ones the newest arrival had popped his head out less than six months before.

He turned on the TV and knew that he was going to have a small nap before lunch like he did every day.

Within a minute, his head was cradled in his chest and the room was filled with a light snore mostly due to this sinus condition that he had carried since boyhood.

“It isn’t fair that you left me, Hazel. It just isn’t fair.”  He mumbled.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

Hubert, startled, almost knocked the glass of water over.

He tried to get out of the chair and it took some effort before he was able to reach the phone on the last ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi dad, how are you?”

His face brightened up.

“I am good, honey.  How are you? How are Donald and those grandkids of mine?”

“We are all great.”

“How is the newest addition?”

“He is doing just fine.  It would be really great if his grandfather got to see him.”

“It would be a thrill of a lifetime.”

“Great dad, so when are you coming up?”

He was standing up at this point and walking around with the mobile phone.  It had been a present from his daughter.

He saw the paper bag and his chin dropped.

“Well, I am not sure that is a possibility.”

“Why not?  Dad, is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“No, it’s just the arthritis in the knee has really cut down on my mobility.  I have a hard time walking.”

“Have you gone to see the specialist?”

“No, the last time I checked they hadn’t found a cure for arthritis. I take my pills.”

“We are going to baptize little Nathan and you need to be here. This is a family event and I know you don’t like to travel alone, but dad…

He looked over and saw Ed puttering outside and his smile returned.

“Honey, I will call you right back okay. There’s someone at the door.”

“Okay, dad.”

“Love you honey.  Talk to you in less than ten.”

He shut the phone off, placed it in the cradle and shuffled outside forgetting about the arthritis in his knee.

Hubert looked both ways before he crossed the road waving at Ed.

“Hey, Ed, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Ed stopped and waved.

“Hey, Hubert, come on over.”

The two men shook hands.  

“How are you Ed?  How is Alice?”

“We are okay. How are you Hubert?”

“I am good. The arthritis kicks up once in a while, but I get my walk in every day to the bush so it is okay.”

“At our age, exercise is more important than anything a doctor can prescribe.”

The caught the look in each other’s eyes and laughed.

“Say, I am going away to see the new grandchild and I was hoping you could do something for me.”

“Sure, Hubert what is it?”

“Do you think that you could bring a package of tofu to the bush every day that I am gone?”

“Sure, I guess so.”  Ed smiled because now he knew the big secret.

“That is great.  I’ll give you enough packages to cover all the days I’m going to be gone.  All you have to do is right after you enter the woods, place the tofu on top of the stump and leave.”

“Sounds pretty simple, Hubert.”

“Thank you, Ed. Give my best to Alice. She’s a real nice lady.”

Ed grinned and nodded his head remaining silent. The words that were dancing on his tongue didn’t need to be exercised.  

The day before Hubert left he dropped off the correct number of tofu packages in correspondence to the number of days he would be gone.

“I really appreciate this, Ed.”

“It isn’t a problem, Hubert.  Have a good vacation and say hello to everyone out that way. And don’t spoil the grandchildren too much.”

“I will and I won’t.”

Hubert left.

The next morning, Alice watched Hubert leave through her binoculars and the excitement was palpable.  

“Now we are going to find out what he is hiding in that forest.”

“He isn’t hiding anything.”

“He is come on let’s go.”

“Why don’t you stay here?”

“I am going with you or without you.”

“Fine, then,” he said sighing and trying to show some patience that was thinning rapidly.

They had crossed the road and were in the laneway.  

“What animal would eat tofu?”

“Maybe it’s a leprechaun?”  Ed laughed.

“Ed you are just awful.”

“Sorry, I meant to say it was a troll.”

“Also, not very funny, Edward Jason Moore,” she said emphasizing her point with a small clap to the shoulder.

They arrived to the bush and entered the pathway. The stump was to their immediate right.  Ed took it out of the package and placed it ever so gently on top of the stump.

Ed turned to leave.

“Ed, where do you think you are going?”

“I did my duty.  Hubert said to leave this stuff on top of the stump.”

“That’s fine, but what about the animal that is going to eat it?”

“I really don’t care.”

“What do you mean you don’t care?”

“I don’t really know how else to say.”

“Let’s just give it a few minutes to see what shows up.”

Ed knew that she would not leave until the animal showed up.

“We are so close to solving this mystery. Ed, are you excited?”

“I am so excited that I am trembling with joy.”

“Oh, Ed you always know how to take out the fun of doing things.”

They stood there for ten minutes Ed’s impatience rising quickly like the mercury in a thermometer left out in the sun on a liquid blue day.

“Alice, let’s go there isn’t anything here.”

“But, Ed, there has to be something here.”

“Maybe it’s a skunk.”

She looked at him deadpan.  

“Fine, let’s go.”

They left.

The same routine played out for the next three or four mornings until one day Ed wasn’t feeling so well.

“I’m not going to the bush today. You can go and stay there as long as you want to.”

“That’s fine.”

Alice left with the tofu in a plastic shopping bag and walked with purpose to the destination.

She arrived and entered the bush, stopped at the stump, put the tofu atop of it and waited.  The minutes passed and Alice was ready to leave when she heard a branch crack.  

Slowly, she turned around and could have never been ready for what was a mere ten feet away.  Her facial expression was one of fear, awe, misunderstanding and craziness all at once.

She shot out of the bush at roughly the speed of light.

“Edward! Edward!  You aren’t going to believe this!”

The sixty-eight year old woman who was clearly over the hill and passed any type of athletic form ran all the way home. Her head had been so messed with that she didn’t even look both sides of the road before crossing it.

Ed had the newspaper across his lap and was happily snoozing away.

“Edward! Edward!  You aren’t going to believe this!”

She burst into the house and he nearly fell out of the chair.

“What is it?”

“Come with me.”

She grabbed his hand and almost pulled him cleanly out of the chair.

“Let go of me crazy woman. What is your problem?”

“I know the secret Hubert is hiding.”

“And, I told you that he isn’t hiding any secret.”

“Oh, Edward, he most certainly is hiding a secret. You aren’t going to believe it.”

“Well, what is it?”

“You aren’t going to believe me. You need to see it for yourself.”

“How about tomorrow?  I don’t fell well and was up most of the night with my heartburn really acting up.”

“Ed, if I have to carry you over my shoulder then I will.”

He sighed, his last bit of patience having drained away.

“Fine, let’s go and see whatever the hell is there.”

“You don’t have to swear, Ed.”

Alice was trying to break out into a run pulling a reluctant Ed who was not going to be dragged along.

They entered the bush and half of the tofu was eaten.

“Okay, so where did the leprechaun go?”

“You go ahead and mock me, Edward Moore, but when you see it, you’ll never laugh at me again.”

They waited a few minutes and then heard something behind them.  

She turned around with her heart in her mouth and he with the exasperated look of a man who was sure his wife was a genuine nutcase.

The innocent fawn had sniffed out the free tofu and quietly stopped at the sight of the humans.

“Oh, my God, it is a fawn! Can you believe it, Alice?  A fawn!  Why this is probably the only fawn that has ever been seen on the planet.  I can’t believe this.  You should have called the media so they could make this the top story on the six o’clock news.”

“That will be enough, Ed. It wasn’t a fawn that I saw.”

“The next time you drag me down here for nothing when I feel sick, so help me Alice.”

They left, he slightly in the lead and she a step behind, a little ashamed but at the same time wondering how everything went wrong. 

They arrived home.

“Ed, you have to listen to me carefully.”

“What is it Alice?”

“I saw something in that bush that wasn’t right.”

“Alice, I am fed up with you spying and prying on Hubert. Now you are going to tell me there was something fantastic back there and all it was, was a fawn.  You need a hobby.”

“But, Ed, I’m telling you that there was something back there.”

“Then what was it Alice?”

She turned away.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Alice, you’re simply impossible.”  He threw his hands up in the air and went back to his newspaper and chair.

For the rest of the time the Hubert was gone, Ed and only Ed walked to the bush.

Hubert returned and the next morning was heading out to the bush with the brown paper bag when Ed caught up to him.

“Hey, Hubert, how as the trip?”

“It was great.  How are you and Alice?”

“Me, I’m good, Alice is not so good.”

“Why not?”

“She’s gone off the deep end.”

“Why?”

“I need to ask you a question Hubert. Now we’ve been friends ever since we were nothing but little tykes.”

“Absolutely, Ed what is it?”

“What’s in that bush?”

“Trees, flowers, weeds, plants and animals.”

“What kind of animals?”

“There is a fawn and a doe, a skunk, some squirrels, probably a snake or two and a couple of raccoons.”

“Are you sure, Hubert?”

“Sure as I’m standing here.”

Ed shook his head.

“Alice went out one morning and said she saw something that wasn’t right.  It was then that she went crazy. She’s in the state mental hospital at the moment.”

“Maybe it was the big rat. I’ve seen it and was going to do something about it, but Hazel never liked me to kill things on the farm.”

“Alice is terrified of rats. How big is this thing?”

“Huge, Ed and it is only getting bigger every time I see it.”

“Good enough for me, Hubert and I’m glad you got to spoil the grandkids some.”

“Thanks, Ed, I hope Alice is better.”

“I dunno,” Ed said as he walked away shaking his head.

Hubert made it to the path and placed the tofu atop the stump. He waited.

The unicorn came out slowly.  It’s fleece was white as snow, the horn a yellow gold and the icy blue eyes spectacular, hypnotic.  

“Did you miss me, Hazel while I was gone?”

He rubbed its head while the majestic, mystical beast ate quietly.

“You look like the little one.  She has your eyes.”

Hubert smiled as the beast munched on the tofu.