Journal Entries 2

After Rose Tinted

CW: Self-Doubt, question of Self-Worth, half nakedness, mentions of the use of drinking and most importantly; The tutus are back with a vengeance.

Journal Entry 3?

I’ve spent most of my days working on the Motel and I’m pleased to say that it’s looking a lot better. It just looked like beams and wood slapped together but now it looks refined with touches of art. I still do repair work in the rooms, it seems we’ll need a qualified plumber to fix the pipes. Paula is going to get on that next week before winter hits.

Journal Entry 3?

Not sure what the occasion was but the guys arranged a scavenger hunt for me. They’re probably just getting bored and wanted to wear me out. I’ve travelled the small town twice and went out to the lake which was about an hour out of town. I’m just glad that there’s a road to follow out there. Thirty-Nine met me out there and drove me back but not without giving me 20 different eye masks.

Journal Entry 3?

I caught a cold. Overworked myself on that scavenger hunt. I’m not sure what happened in the last few hours but I’m sure hugging Thirty-Nine was fine. He was mostly beside me, least I think so, I’ll talk to them about it after.

P.S Thirty-Nine likes food. He also really really likes potatoes. Did I ask him weird questions? I don’t even remember.

Journal Entry 4?

Jack, Tom and Sid couldn’t look after me while I was sick, so they asked Thirty-Nine if he could. I feel so bad for making them look after me. I should have been more careful while wandering. Also, why does this fluffy blanket feel so comforting? Where did it even come from? I feel like a child. But it sooo warm!

Journal Entry 4?

Had a dream that everyone left. I’m not sure how to process it. I was standing in darkness and my friends and family turned and walked away. I know they will leave someday, I’ve always felt numb to it. I don’t deserve to be loved. They’ll get tired of me eventually and leave. I can only wish them the best.

Journal Entry 4?

Fall is settling in, I haven’t really left the Motel since we got here. Oh actually since the Scavenger hunt. Wonder if that’s why they set up the hunt? I don’t leave. Well granted, I’m bad with directions so it’s probably safer for me at the Motel. I should visit the town! Paula would let me have a day off as she so constantly say she would if I asked.

I viewed the town, stopping by my friends' workplaces to talk for a bit. I’ve always pictured where these places would be and what they look like. Nothing what I expected. Everything just seems so homey.

I got to the center of town and just sat by a giant wooden statue of a bear. There are plenty of wooden statues of wild animals, wolves, rabbits, foxes, squirrels, chipmunks, pinecones, trees anything really. Anyways just before I left Thirty-Nine told me to call him if I got lost.

I got lost in a small town.

What’s worse, the motel was 6 minutes away from where I was.

I’m just constantly showing my worst side to this guy.

Besides the point, I had a mini panic attack when I was lost. He talked me down from it, while he covered my eyes, saying some random facts about himself. Can’t remember most of them but he likes the sunsets on summer days. That was the last random fact he told me and the reason why I remember that is because he removed his hand from my eyes and the last bit of the sun was going out and suddenly the street lights turned on. These weren’t normal city lights, these were like Christmas lights or something. Just balls of light strung up from tree to tree building to building.

Gotta say it was pretty romantic how he timed it.

Now I’m just sitting here at a loss for words late at night while everyone is asleep. Figured I’d write it down. Doesn’t really capture what I felt at the time. Don’t think any words will perfectly describe that scene. It was like time stood still and the place was enchanted to light up as soon as the sun dipped behind the trees and mountains.

Not something you see in the city. For once I felt truly at ease, I didn’t feel like this on my first date with Ashlynn. I almost don’t remember that day.

Journal Entry 5?

Elannah keeps dropping her daughter over, the first two days were fun, had lots of fun. But on the third day, I needed to get some repairs done. Can’t really do that with a little girl that wants nothing to do with helping, Thirty-Nine stepped in and took her off my hands while I worked on the remaining repairs in the rooms. He also had some problems with his room, he apparently got in the habit of flushing before going and 1 in 4 flushes it would clog.

Told him I’d speak with Paula about it but for now, we’ll move him to a different room while we worked on the problem.

Journal Entry 5?

He was moved next door. Guess I should stop calling him Thirty-Nine and call him Forty-Six. It might not stick. Think he’ll always be Thirty-Nine. Now that I think about it he never told me his name.

Kind of unfair since he knows my name.

I’m gonna ask how they came up with my nickname.

Journal Entry 5?

Jake

William

Oliver

Purple HippopatumasHippopitamasHippo (I can’t spell it!!!)

I asked my friends how to spell the word...

Hippopotamus

Rake

John

Levi

Jeans

Atlanta

Hover

Flower

Celsius

Air

Clear

Honey Bear Sugar Lumpkins (My god what was I thinking! It’s in PEN! INK!)

River

Pine

Lake

City

Shirt

Six pack (I think I’m just writing random words now and this has nothing to do with me seeing him shirtless)

(Nothing at all)

Great, now I can’t focus!

Journal Entry 6?

Maybe I should get this out of the way before it eats me alive.

I first saw him at the museum. He was standing guard when I walked up to the case with the gem. I’m not attracted to looks but kind acts it seems I know that much. Also, their personality as I’m now learning. It's strange, never put much thought into it before since I never really cared about attraction to other people.

He was unique looking and I now understand why he was beside the case in the first place. White hair and pink/red eyes are very strange and unsettling to most people. It’s something you only see in movies or read about in books and such, not in real life where it can happen.

I focused on the case but there was no new information than what I already knew so I spent my time watching him from the side of my eye. He was indeed handsome that much was true but so are others that passed me by on the street. So coming up with a line that best suited him was hard since I’ve never flirted before.

I was going to say something but Jack pulled me away, very grateful for that because then I would have said something stupid. When he later walked up to us, how embarrassing... I just said what was on my mind. A smart-ass remark as if I was talking to my friends. I basically told him I was a thief! The hell was I thinking! AAAAAAHHHHH

Can’t believe I played it off as the ‘took me so long to come up with it’ line. I was mortified.

During the chase, I almost tripped when I saw him again and with the realization, I saw in his eyes, I had to distract them by throwing one of the objects I had snagged on my run. They were like wolves herding me into a corner.

I was ok with being caught. Heartbeat would have been disappointed but at least she knew I would have been alive.

The motorbike chase was not expecting him to also be on one and to stick close to me. I mean why me? Our conversation lasted a solid 30 seconds before all this happened. Not enough time to form any kind of lasting attachments. Or maybe it was because I was the decoy. I’ve put too much thought into that.

Not sure how he found us after we escaped.

All I know so far is that he found my journal that I left behind, not sure which one I have lots of them. Not really bothered by anyone reading it, kind of gotten used to it with my friends and Heartbeat reading over my shoulder.

Hi Sid.

So seeing him again I was panicked. We defiantly were going to go to jail. I was so sure of it. I don’t do well when interrogated.

He didn’t mention it.

Nor the next time we met.

Our interactions were normal.

But apparently he knew the whole time it was us. Why keep that a secret?

After that, he was just there. It’s almost been a year now and he hasn’t left.

Feels like it was only recently that I’m conscious of him, I mean I joked about him liking me as I do with my friends. It feels different.

Journal Entry 6?

I need to stop getting lost in this small town! Also, it seemed like this was planned! Maybe because it was and it turns out it was a surprise birthday party for me. Sid gave me a fake address to go and get something so I wandered the town trying to find the place. It ended with me calling Thirty-Nine stating that I was lost and wanted to go home.

Why does he make it so easy to depend on him? Maybe because he doesn’t work and I don’t want to bother my friends too much.

After he found me I asked where the place was and then he told me that it doesn’t exist in this town. *drawing of a crying face*

Aside from that, the party was nice, still not a people person, even more so since I got about 10 different coloured tutus. Add that with the 5 tiaras and assorted jewellery... *drawing of a stick figure kicking a cake into space*

I told them that it was fine this time but if they ever do it again I’m breaking the tiaras in half and burning the tutus. The jewellery I’ll keep, there are some good ones in here and they are real apparently, not plastic. A bit over the top on a few of them but the subtle ones I like. Aside from those gifts I got journals for days, funny pens, a proper sketchbook and pencils and a whole bunch of small wooden statues. Also 10 eye masks. Please stop. I don’t need anymore.

As the party ended I stayed outside to enjoy the night, also I was tipsy. Not sure how they snuck alcohol in but they managed. It was nice seeing the stars, even nicer when sharing it with someone else. Thirty-Nine stayed out with me.

He gave me a box that had two glass figurines, a turtle and a rabbit. He told me he made it, he said the story reminded him of our chase.

We ended the night there.

Well actually after he helped me up the stairs...

we kissed. I kissed him actually but still, he returned it quickly.

Now I’m just wondering what he is to me.