Girl on Fire

The Lonely New Yorker

Carolyn arrived at her new upscale penthouse suite in swanky New York City. The move from her rice belt town in Texas drained her body but not her spirit. Leaving her sorted pass behind was something that she should have done many years ago. Since she was the mother of threes sons,leaving them behind took alot of letting go on her part. They had rid themselves of her emotionally for longer than she had realized. After God answered her prayer of returning to her hometown after living in three shelters,she was determined to get back on her feet to help her adult sons. The youngest son Jared was living with his grandparents right after high school while he attended college. The middle son Torrance was living the life that he was because of a substance abuse disorder. This lead to him leaving his nice girlfriend Emily for his current wife Tristan. Carolyn spent 7 years trying to be nice to her,even though Torrance had only been married to her for only 3 years. The oldest son Quincy was the worse of the three. He was often virtually,mentally and often abusive toward women including his mother. No longer wanting to tolerate the disrespect that was given to her,Carolyn thought that she could work,attend her online classes and live with the youngest child Jared after he finished college.

The mother and her youngest son lived together for a while. Carolyn worked at her HealthCare job until the government shut down the agency. It was tough for her to find work at her age & so she concentrated on finishing her degree. This absence of employment meant that Jared would have the only income coming into the home. His income could have been enough to cover the household expenses but Jared decided to get a car with car notes. When Quincy gave him money to pay their rent for October of 2019,Jared opted to pay his car notes leaving himself and Carolyn with no place to reside.

Since Jared worked out of town as a Pipeline Specialist,he didn't really have to worry about where he would live. He resided in hotels while working out of town which his company paid for. Carolyn had to live with different people driving back and forth with her belongings in Jared's car. After he found a different job and was no longer working for Spectrum Pipeline the two of them needed a permanent place to live. They lived with the middle son Torrance,his wife and their son Torrance Jr. Their stay only lasted for two months but Carolyn still continued to work on her degree. From January until December the youngest son and his mother lived in a motel. She had taken out a loan from her schooling to live on until the money ran out. Once again Jared was alone with his mother who was becoming a burden to him. He became resentful of this fact. No longer wanted by her sons or her alcoholic family members,Carolyn longed for a career that would launch her into financial freedom. After she obtained her online degree in August of 2020, the rejected mother continued to seek work. Finally she was offered a position as a writer but this meant that she would have to leave the lonestar state.

With no one who would miss her or cared if she was gone,the new employee took a leap of faith. Many prayers were prayed in order for Carolyn to have the courage and strength to leave Jared her youngest son. Even though he was an adult,Jared was born with a neurological disorder that impacted his ability to make wise decisions. His mother saw the many challenges that he had to over come throughout his life. Jared also drank alcohol and he could be easily persuaded into acting irresponsibly. People often used him for money and this angered his mother. As much as she tried to protect him,he was determined to be his own person. Not wanting to end up homeless again,Carolyn left the state of Texas on December 15,2020; 15 days before Torrance's 31st birthday.

Houstons Hobby Airport was very crowded,loud and somewhat intimidating. One would think so since this would be Carolyn's first time flying. The security measures that she was put through was enough to unnerve the bravest soul which she wasn't. For years people would tell her that she was brave and bold but her brain never received those compliments. Although Carolyn had accomplished things in her life that her siblings didn't attempt to even try,she resented them. Her accomplishments stemmed from the fact that she was the black sheep of the family. She witnessed first hand how her siblings,nieces and nephews would help one another. When Carolyn needed help there was always a problem. Her family would have never allowed her cousin to be homeless and supported her and her children. The times when her sons graduated from high school or college,her family members weren't in attendance. So Carolyn's ability to do things came as a result of the negligence that she experienced. A fresh start is what she longed for and she hoped and prayed for friends,coworkers and neighbors would provide her with the sense of community that she didn't have in Texas.

The plane flight was not as scary as Carolyn had anticipated it would be. Holding her bible in her lap helped to ease any anxious thoughts that would try and surface. Her favorite scripture about not being fearful is what that the new writer had on her heart. She had typed.printed and hung it up in many of the places that she lived in while in Texas. After finally arriving at the airport,she spotted the young woman that the publishing company Learning Soultions sent to greet her. Holding a sign with the company's logo on it was a smart move on her new employers part. He didn't want a sign with Carolyn's name on it to be held by the representative since Carolyn would be living alone. The two women conversed on the way to what would be her new home. Monica Weather's answered most of the questions that the new hire asked. As the two women became acquainted with each other,they found out that they had many things in common. Carolyn didn't get excited about this fact. She experienced this kind of thing before with women. In her past,she came to realize that some of the women that she had things in common with,didn't have her moral character. After Monica left after dropping her off,Carolyn acquainted herself with her penthouse suite. She hung out her wardrobe,ate a small meal and slept like a newborn on her silk sheets.

The next morning the new hires alarm went off at 7a.m. She awoke thinking that she was still in Texas ready to face Jared's bad attitude toward her. She was pleasantly surprised when the reality of where she was set in. She fell backwards on her pillowcase made of silk and started laughing. Prior to making her transition to New York City,she wasn't the type of person who would eat breakfast. A cup of Joe was her morning meal. She normally would eat brunch at 11 a.m. Since Carolyn wanted to reinvent herself,she new a healthy diet would be necessary. So on this faithful morning,she skipped the coffee and opted for a fruit salad for breakfast. The caffeine from coffee would be counterproductive since she wanted to remain cool headed as she decided to familiarize herself with her new neighborhood. Carolyn wanted to get to know her new city on her own terms. She had declined Monica's offer the previous day to show her around. Not wanting the distraction of another person's company wasn't kosher with her. After learning about the area,the new resident of New York City returned home to speak with her new employer about some last minute details before she would start work on Monday. After hanging up her phone,she was about to decide what she would have for dinner when her doorbell rang. Looking through her peephole,she saw a group of Carolers singing Christmas tunes. She didn't even open the door for them. People with her introverted personality require lots of privacy. Overtime that privacy can lead to loneliness. Not wanting this to be her lot in life,Carolyn had inquired about churches that were in the city while she had been out earlier. The beautiful Hispanic lady named Sarah who worked at the flower shop invited Carolyn to attend the non denominational church that she attended. For dinner that Saturday evening Carolyn had prepared baked salmon and asparagus cooked with garlic and cherry tomatoes. She started feeling lonely while eating her meal because Torrance her middle son loved asparagus as well. After she decided what she would be wearing to church the next day, she showered, and cried while thinking of Torrance. Since she knew that she needed a good night of sleep,she prayed her nightly prayer. Carolyn told herself that Torrance wouldn't be losing any sleep over her. Once again,she slept like a newborn baby.

The Dwelling Place was the name of the non denominational church where Sarah was a member of the choir. She had informed Carolyn that she needed to be there at 9a.m. Since Sarah would be singing this morning she had to be at the church for 8oclock rehearsal. The rehearsal would be over by 8:45 which would leave Sarah time to meet Carolyn in the foyer before 9. Sarah didn't want the new resident to feel alone so they made plans to meet. Prior to meeting Sarah in the foyer,Carolyn had skipped breakfast and went with a cup of coffee just in case the church wasn't as lovely as the one that she attended while in Texas. That was a good move on her part because the music wasn't to her standards and the Pastor had somewhat of a sarcastic way of ministering. Once the service was over ,Carolyn left quickly to avoid having to lie to Sarah about rather she liked the service. She didn't want to speak poorly about it either. Well maybe work tomorrow would be better. To pass the test of the time, she called her Jared and her oldest son Quincy. They asked her a few questions but the conversations with them were short- lived. Torrance very seldom answered his phone and so was the case when she tried to call him. Carolyn remembered that one of her favorite singers Alicia Keys was from New York City. So she played some of her songs using her phone. This motivated her to decide her wardrobe for work and prepare her dinner for that night. She danced to This Girl is on Fire while cooking Oven Baked Chicken and Sweet Potato Fries. No more of that Southern Fried this and that for Carolyn to eat. Her new life would require her to be healthy. She needed to become healthy and fit while living in New York City. What if a mugger tried to rob me and I would have to to fight for my life is the thought that went through her mind. She then thought that because of the prayers that she prayed that she would be safe. Then God gave us common sense and expects us to use it. Once Carolyn cleaned up her kitchen,she watched TV,showered and went to bed. Her night prayer caused her to sleep as if her life depending on it and slept she did.

Since Carolyn was unfamiliar with the use of public transportation in New York City,her employer made arrangements for her to get to work and back home for the first day. Her alarm went off Monday morning at 7 am. She had prepared enough food the night before to take with her for her lunch break today. All that was vital for Carolyn to do was to shower,dress, and get her belongings that she would need for work. She had made another fruit salad for her breakfast the night before also. With every detail was done,her driver picked her up at 8:15. After enteringthe backseat of the vehicle,she put her ear phones on and listened to This Girls is on Fire once again.