33 comments

Thriller

“Hunter, this is Kimiko. Kimiko, this is Hunter. You’ll be traveling to England together in a few days.” England? What does the USSS need there? The United States “Secret Service” has been doing shady stuff lately.

I silently nod to Kimi and she sticks her hand out. I stare at her in concern while she meets my eyes with an innocent gaze until I take her hand.

“I’m Kimiko. Well, you already know that,” She laughs, our colleague not knowing that that sentence implied more than just knowing her name a second ago.

“Well, I’ll leave you to get to know each other. I’ll send the details of the case to you soon.” She walks out of the room.

“So. Kimi.” I clear my throat, trying to make it less awkward. I look at the flower in the middle of the table, put carefully in a glass case. Red and white. How ironic.

“How have you been?” I ask. I kick myself immediately. How have you been sounds like you know her. You’re supposed to say how are you, you idiot. And even worse, I called her by a nickname.

She glares at me, “You mean since the date?”

I clear my throat, “Sure.”

“Good. So you live here in Chicago?”

“Yeah, actually. Moved a few months ago.”

“Nice, nice.” She acts like she doesn't know me. Well, two can play at that game.

“Let’s go out somewhere.” I force a smile for the camera, “Quick coffee break. I know a cute cafe a block away,” I open the door for her, and follow Kimi out into the hallway.

We step into the elevator wordlessly.

“Hey, Ki! It has been forever,” A random girl jumps into the elevator at the last possible moment and Kimi hugs her.

“Ah, Stacy! Missed you. Did you just get back from Spain?”

“Last week, actually. It was a boring case, just had to be there for the investigation to go on,” Stacy rolls her eyes.

“The new rule right?” Stacy nods. “Like I don’t even know what the USSS is up to these days,” Kimi laughs.

I step out and clear my throat, signaling that the elevator door is open. “Kimi.” All of us step out.

“Oh, hello! Who is this Ki? Your boyfriend?” Stacy raises a bright blond eyebrow.

I smirk at Kimi, “A potential.”

“Well, then! I best be going, Kimi. Seems like you’re busy,” Stacy winks at Kimi and walks off before she could protest.

Kimi punches me in the arm and I wince. “You know you’re long past that,” She says snarkily.

“But we’re just getting to know each other.” I pout.

A red and white flower for a final touch. I place it in my pocket and drive to her apartment complex. Kimi smiles and gets in the car.

She says the flower looks pretty. She asks what kind it is. I say it’s forgein. From South America.

She glares at me until I look away. “So…”

“So?” She draws her lips into a thin line.

“It’s slowly getting colder and colder, isn’t it?” I shiver, making my point.

“Yup. Last winter, it was freezing. But November 11, that was a really bad day. Almost died. Well I guess you know that, don’t you?” Kimi scowls at me, knowing that I know that November 11 meant more than when it snowed.

A rose felt too classy. So I bought this one. It matches the tux.

It’s such a beautiful flower. Red and white were always my favorite colors. I can tell why so many people buy those bouquets for 1000’s of dollars. This is a special occasion, so why not?

I swallow, and stay silent.

“Is this the coffee shop you were talking about?” Kimi suddenly stops, and I stumble into her, losing my footing. She yelps, and without thinking I steady with my hands on her hips.

She pulls away, and I hide, hoping I’m not blushing. “This is it,” I say and open the door for Kimi, breathing the smell of coffee in.

“Have you been to England before?” I ask.

“Once,” Kimi ends the conversation.

“Oh, for your Mother right?”

“Yes.”

I sigh, and shake my head. “Okay, Kimi, either talk to me or don’t, but don’t leave me with nothing to say.”

We get to the restaurant. I ask for a salt packet and the waitress hands me one. I slip it into her soup, saying it’ll taste better. My hand brushes against the flower and I feel the pollen on the tips of my fingers. I dust it off, and smile at Kimi, asking about what she does in her spare time.

“What should I say?” Kimi says coldly. “You should be glad I didn’t kill you on sight.”

“It wasn’t my fault.” I sip my coffee that Kimi brought me.

Kimi says she feels sick and that she should be going home soon. I smile. So the flower did work.

“And tell me how a murder attempt isn’t your fault?” Kimiko digs her nails into my skin.

I look around, sighing in relief when I saw that no one cared. “This one just isn’t. I didn’t even succeed anyway. And trust me, I’m glad you didn’t die.”

“So there have been others?” She raises her eyebrow, something I didn’t know she could do.

“No! I mean, no.” I sip my coffee again, hoping it’ll save me from this conversation.

“Well, were all of them dating for the first time in a year? Was she traumatized so badly she didn’t talk to anyone for two years after that? Was she finally starting to talk to people only to run into her almost-killer!” Kimi’s voice slowly rose, drawing attention from passerby.

I take a sip of my coffee one last time, finishing it off, and get up to throw it away when I feel my stomach churning. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom.

“Hunter? Are you okay?” She frowns, and gets up when I stumble. “Hunter?”

“Kimi...” My voice comes out slow and drugged.

“Hunter!” Kimi calls for help as I fall down.

She whispers into my ear, “Don’t worry. This time I won’t fail.” I see one last thing fall out of Kimi’s pocket before the world turns black.

A red and white flower.

August 27, 2020 21:45

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33 comments

Zilla Babbitt
13:54 Oct 17, 2020

Who's Zibla Babbit? :) Just kidding. I think your bio's pretty great. Interesting statement, you wouldn't kill baby Hitler. I'm honestly not sure what I'd do. What made you decide that?

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Tvisha Yerra
19:04 Oct 17, 2020

I think Hitler set a perfect example of exactly what NOT to do, which is why I would not kill him. I have some friends who would though, what he did was absolutely horrible. And thank you! :)

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Zilla Babbitt
12:30 Oct 18, 2020

Plus we can look at history for reference while we watch the present. You're welcome!

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Tvisha Yerra
23:17 Oct 18, 2020

And sorry, I corrected the name 😅

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Zilla Babbitt
23:52 Oct 18, 2020

:)

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Carly Clarissa
23:24 Sep 24, 2020

I LOVE this story, great job! Had me hooked from the beginning

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Tvisha Yerra
23:27 Sep 24, 2020

Thank you! I'm glad at least one person does. :)

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Bianka Nova
22:37 Aug 28, 2020

Revenge best served hot :) This was an entertaining read. You did very well inserting those little flashbacks from the "date". If you get the chance to edit before it's published, I'd suggest the following: - "My hand brushes against the flower and feel the pollen on my hand" - This is a key sentence for the story, so I would try to get rid of the repeating "hand" - maybe something like "My hand brushes against the flower and I feel the pollen on the tips of my fingers" - "Was she finally starting to start to talk" - another repetition "...

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Tvisha Yerra
14:36 Aug 29, 2020

Thank you so much! I didn't know that I forgot editing, Thanks again!

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Shaquita B.
00:56 Jun 19, 2021

Very intriguing story. You had my attention from beginning to end. Great job!

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Ishana Khurana
02:44 Dec 22, 2020

Awesome story! You are a great writer!

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Mark D
17:22 Oct 31, 2020

Hey Tvisha. Great story, fantastic characters. It's always tough to write in the present tense and keep out consistent, but you did a good job. Just a couple suggestions: * "our colleague not knowing that that sentence implied more than just knowing her name a second ago." Perhaps saying learning her name instead of knowing. * "How have you been sounds like you know her. You’re supposed to say how are you, you idiot. And even worse, I called her by a nickname." Perhaps use italics or some other way to indicate an inner dialo...

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Tvisha Yerra
20:53 Nov 02, 2020

Thanks for the feedback! I'll keep those in mind for next time :)

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ℤ ℍ☮️
19:41 Oct 20, 2020

Great story. I really like the ending and it is full of emotion!!! I'll be sure to check out more stories. Also, I have a new story called "Scarecrow Boy". I need some feedback and I'll be glad if you checked it out. Thanks

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Tvisha Yerra
23:28 Oct 20, 2020

Thanks for reading! And I'm on my way right now! :)

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Charles Stucker
02:40 Sep 25, 2020

"She laughs, our colleague not knowing that that sentence..." The dreaded double that, so much more insidious than double drat... That serves as filler more often than it is truly useful. Try removing it when you see it. "She laughs, our colleague not knowing the sentence..." I say it’s forgein. - typo - foreign. A nicely rounded story- quick pace, good characters, and a twist ending. The flashbacks give us just enough information to understand what's happening and why. The collapse of Hunter at the end is handled particularly deftly....

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Tvisha Yerra
21:52 Sep 25, 2020

Thank you for the feedback! Google didn't catch that, I'll make sure to proofread again next time. :)

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Maggie Deese
03:20 Sep 18, 2020

Great story, Tvisha! You did a wonderful job portraying these characters and showing their lives through the flashbacks. I was enthralled from the very beginning. Wonderful job! Also, I remember you commenting on one of my stories about Renegades and I have to say, I AM IN LOVE WITH IT!! I am on the very last book in the series and have loved every bit of it. I think Adrian is my new book crush.

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Tvisha Yerra
15:44 Sep 18, 2020

I know right 😆. I love Adrian so muchhhh! You should check out Not Even Bones... it has a similar plot! Thanks for reading!

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Maggie Deese
16:19 Sep 18, 2020

Ooo I'll have to add that to my TBR! We seem to have the same taste in books, so I trust it will be good!

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Maggie Deese
19:55 Sep 29, 2020

Hi Tvisha! I apologize for messaging you on here, but I just finished the Renegades series and none of my friends have read it so...CAN WE JUST SCREAM ABOUT THAT EPILOGUE??!!

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Tvisha Yerra
20:21 Sep 29, 2020

OH MY GOD YES

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Maggie Deese
20:28 Sep 29, 2020

WHY WHYYYY DID SHE HAVE TO DO THAT TO US😭 I WANTED MY HAPPY GO LUCKY ENDING (which I guess you kinda got with Nova and Adrian) BUT I NEED MORE BOOKS

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Tvisha Yerra
20:33 Sep 29, 2020

IMAGINE MY PAIN OVER THE LAST YEAR 😭😭

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Aqsa Malik
17:06 Sep 08, 2020

Hi Tvisha :D I love the names Hunter and Kimiko, they're so unqique and interesting. I also like how you showcased them knowing each other straight away from Hunter using his nickname in her mind, it's a nice touch. I loved your use of italics to show sentimental flashbacks, you added them so seamlessly into the story. The repetition of "meant more than..." in the first paragraph and later on in the story was really interesting and struck out to me, making me more invested in their mysterious relationship. Your twist was so cool ...

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Tvisha Yerra
20:14 Sep 08, 2020

Thank you! Actually I'm planning to write a prequel for this in this week's prompt, since I forgot to include why Hunter tried to kill Kimi. And I love the names just as much! :P

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. .
08:17 Aug 31, 2020

Nice story.

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Tvisha Yerra
14:06 Aug 31, 2020

Thanks for reading!

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. .
19:25 Nov 11, 2020

This was amazing! I love how she served the cold-hard revenge. This was a really enticing and intriguing read, and I believe that you have some great imagination. Could you check out my two stories?

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Tvisha Yerra
23:53 Nov 12, 2020

Thanks for reading!

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DHANANJAY SHARMA
11:45 Sep 20, 2020

amazing https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/59/submissions/34852/ give a read to mine

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Tvisha Yerra
19:30 Sep 20, 2020

I would have liked people actually reading and commenting, but I guess I'll have to settle for a copy and paste.

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