Suddenly, It's Done I Succeed

"5...,4...,3...,2...,1..."

All cheered for the new year. Like they where expecting to have a new start regarding this coming year.

The champagne glass clunk of the people who are toasting their champagne glasses with a smile on everyone's face.

Everyone has a smile in their faces, some people here are hugging mostly couples what a public display of affection. Bitterness start to eat my system. Oh come on ! It's like you didn't do that! Well before.

My mom blocked my view of the couple who's like making out because of their torrid kiss. Gosh! It's like I'm watching a live porn here and there are so many kids here.

"Oh Darling stop pouting there. Happy New Year Love you so much baby."

My mom hugged me so tight that I can't breathe anymore.

I stopped pouting as she said. I didn't notice that, I'm that bitter. And duh Mom!

I hugged her back.

"Happy New Year to you Mom, I love you too . But I'm not your baby anymore I'm already 24 years old! I can even give you a real baby soon!"

She just chuckled her wrinkles are visible now."Oh  really? Make it fast darling your momma is getting older year by year. I might die not seeing my dear granddaughter or grandson. "

" Oh don't say that Mom! Live healthy you might even see my grand daughter or son someday."

" My only baby is already grown up."

She left me here with a smiling face.

I just sipped on my champagne glass. And blankly stared at the variety colors of fireworks at the sky. What a view. So relaxing to see but makes me to remember the past that I should not think. Anymore.

If I'll ask you, how many are your new year's resolution per year you'll find it redicoulous, but can I ask how many? I mean the things you want to change or achieve this coming year?

Maybe your new year's resolution are like; changing your daily routine, make things you want to do that didn't do last year such as travelling, eating healthy foods and excersing or like me, forgetting someone again for my new year's resolution.

I can imagine myself sighing again. It's really easy to say that you can forget someone that fast but reality sucks and it's really hard to let go someone who made you laugh,cry and hurt at the same time.

I really did every year what they say effective ways to achieve your new year's resolution.

But nothing, nothing really changed over this years. Is this a curse? Because if yes I would run to a witch and make this curse dissapear in a blink.

Is it really that hard to let go of someone?

I asked many friends, family, relatives and even just acquaintances regarding to this shit and they all said I need to accept it first.

I f*ck!ng accepted it not a month or day but years already! But still I have this freaking feelings for him everytime I hear his name. Am I a shit that turned into human?

But my hopes for the someday I imagine is not vulnerable. That someday I can let go of the past, that someday everytime I would hear he's name my eyes won't sparkle like they do before, and I can face him and say directly looking at his eyes that I don't love him anymore.

Maybe I really didn't accept it. Maybe I was just too giddy to forget it that I assume that I accepted it. I just paused hurt. But It did resume.

I really didn't accept the fact that he cheated on me with my best friend. 

Imagine I lost two people who are very special to me. In just one freaking night.

Just like a firework that lit up and exploded the memories  of the past returned to explode...

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday,Happy Birthday, Happyyyy Birthdaaaay tooooo youuu!" I blowed my candles that is shape in two numbers 21.

They all clapped, and someone shouted cheers and they all gulp on their drink.

I can't believe it! I'm already 21! Imagine I always pray to God everyday when I was a kid to grow up faster because I want to be a nurse faster that I couldn't wait anymore.

And now I'm studying nursing! One more year then I could work in a hospital! I can't wait that time to come.

And being a nursing student I'll become more a lot busier than usual. Gosh how about my boyfie? I won't bond with him that much as we do last year! I don't have enough time!

"Happy Birthday Babe, I love you." Onyx greeted me and handed me his gift.

"Here's my gift." He then kissed my cheeks.

He held my waist and accompany me to his friends and my friend's table. Gosh they were so drunk I think? Coz their faces are starting to color red.

My beach birthday party started near 8 pm and it's already 12 onwards and they're still drinking. We waited for my birthday like what we do as a friendship goals every year.

"Hey ma'bitch happy birthday, my gift for you is on the table already you'll love it I'm sure." Crista said she's drunk and still she managed to talk to me that she's not vomiting gosh that'll be eww.

"Oh thank you bitch, hope it's not a bomb."

Because she's drunk she just replied a long duh and it ended when her face met the table. What a drunken bitch.

Her boyfriend or her fling is not here he's out of town who's gonna take care of this drunk woman? Gosh I can't she's taller than me and more voluptuous how can I carry her to her hotel room?

"Happy Birthday Freighcian!" Said Connor.

"Oh thank you!" I just said.

"I'm  going now I'm so drunk already."

"Sure! Sure! "

" Yeah,yeah" he said then walked away.

Crista is now sleeping at the table top, gosh her neck will hurt if she stays in that position for overnight sleeping.

I left Onyx with Crista there to call my sober cousin Gerald he's muscular enough to carry her.

While on the way to their table someone touched my wrists to stop me from walking. 

I look at the person who stopped me from walking. Oh it's Lazuli I even thought it was Onyx.

"Happy Birthday Frei " he said. He got the most baritone voice I've ever heard but it's calming for me. I don't know why.

"Oh thank you." I replied after he handed me his gift.

Based on the shape of the gift box I think it will be a jewelry or some key chains? It's a box with a width of I think 2 inch and height of 3 inch. I was wrapped with gold wrapper and a light yellow ribbon.

I thought he'll walk away after he'll give me this like before but he stayed.

I notice the small bullets of sweat on his forehead so I talk to him to not be nervous in front of me.

"You want to say somethin'?" I asked, maybe he wants right?

"C-can you open the gift now? I want to see you wearing that." Oh so it's a jewelry.

Kinda suspicious? Or I'm just assuming?

" Ofcourse why not." I said and started unwrapping the gift. I'm excited for it's design because I'm a lover of jewelries.

I smiled as I held the necklace on my hand and looked at him. It's just me or did I really saw him blushing? The necklace was embedded with a words that carved in a calligraphy way. It's a different language so I don't understand it.

'Mahal Ko' that was what written. Maybe I'll search on Google what's the meaning of this.

It's so beautiful.

"It's lovely." I said.

"And you look more lovely." He unconsciously said because he's more like staring blankly on me.

" U-uhm thanks." My face heated. Gosh!

"Help me." I said and handed the necklace on him. He quickly locked it at the back of my neck. After that he smiled.

I was feeling the shape of the words carved on it. When I remembered something. Crista! OMG I need to be fast.

" I'm really thankful but I need to go." I said and left him there.

After I called Gerald and told to him the favor I need he quickly stand up and follow me to Crista and Onyx.

Onyx was just standing to where I left him behind. And Crista is still sleeping and I could even hear her snorkel from here.

Gerald quickly carry her bridal style as he got close to her.

Crista awakened and even stunned when he saw who's carrying her. Gosh! I forgot that she's her ex.

I unconsciously looked at Onyx. I don't know if it's just me but the way he looks at Gerald now. He's like killing him, if only looks can kill.

I just shrugged maybe I was just drunk.

I accompanied him on Crista's room. Just want to be sure that he's not gonna do something illegal on her.

As we go on our own rooms after I  convey Crista to her room.

Onyx was just silent this is so unlikely him. Why tough?

I stopped when we reached the door of our room. And ask him.

"Are you okay? Is there a problem?" I asked maybe he's problematic now I can help him.

" No, nothing." If I were on his point of view it's like he shrugged his thoughts off.

And his eyes went down on my neck.

"Where did that come from?"

"Oh? This?" I touched the necklace. " A gift from friend." I don't want to start commotion he's possesive.

After we enter the room he kissed me torridly that I could not breath. He's a good kisser I know.

I kissed him back with same ferocity. But when he's gonna take off my dress I stopped him.

He stunned of what I did. Maybe he was just carried away.

"I'm sorry Onyx but I'm not gonna give myself to you tonight, you know our culture right? Let's get married first before we'll do that."

" I know, I know, I understand."

My grandma to my mother side and grandma to father's side is Filipina so they said even tough I'm just half Filipina I should follow our culture. To not have sexual intercourse with anyone not until I'm married.

He just went straight to the bed and lay there. Maybe he'll like to cuddle.

I immediately come to him and lay on his side. He hugged me from my waist and buried his face on my neck. On that position we slept.

*

I woke up because I felt alone. I was really alone. I just sat on the bed first and tapped the space where he is a while ago.

I was just in a nap that's why I awoken.

But where is he?

When I heard a footsteps in the door. I stand up. I looked at my wrist watch it's already 1:21 am where is he going?

If he wants to go to restroom it has in this room so why? And even if he wants to go anywhere he would say it to me regardless I'm sleepy because he wouldn't like to worry me.

It's kinda suspicious. I stand up and follow him. Without him knowing.

I know where he is going based on the path that I follow him. Maybe I'm wrong, or right.

It's the path to Crista's room. I don't want what I think now. But it makes me nervous just the thought of it. And also hurt.

Crista's my bestfriend so why would I doubt her? I breath in and out. The lights in this hotel near the beach is dim now. And it made me more nervous.

When Onyx stopped my heart hammered inside my chest tightly making it hard for me to breath. It's on Crista's hotel room door.

He entered her room because she opened it . So she's still awake. Maybe they will just talk about something.

A beat.

Oh come on who are you fooling Freighcian? Who the f!ck will just talk in this hour with them alone. Maybe I was just trying to calm myself. But this is suspicious.

And the write sentence to ask now.

Are they cheating on me?

I come near to the room where they are in.

Like someone slapped me and it's the reality. They... they are moaning and...

My heart begun to start beating in a hurtful way. I burst into tears while they are pleasuring each other.

Am I not enough? Just because I couldn't give his needs because I don't want to he cheated on me?! And f!cking with my only best friend?!

I couldn't move. Like it made me stop breathing and moving, I don't know what to do! I caught them on act. But I can't fight them.

I just punch my chest where my heart is located.

What a birthday gift this is... It made me so f!cking terrified.

When the moans stopped I just stood there and didn't do anything. I couldn't move because it was very unexpected. Like even in my slightest idea it won't appear.

He cheated on me with my bestfriend.

The bestfriend that I trust the most.

And him who I love so much.

It felt numb. I used my two palms to dry my tears.

The door swung open. And the sweaty Onyx

come out. He froze when he saw me.

"Onyx! You left your phone.." Crista is just wearing the t shirt of Onyx.She's also sweating. She was holding

his phone.

She froze too when she saw me.

"What the f!ck is the meaning of this?!!!" I shouted to them.

" Let... Let me explain first.." Onyx said he's face looks like he saw a ghost.

" What are you gonna explain to me?! Ha?! That your so horny and then go to my best friend's room to fuck?! I maybe a virgin but I'm not that dense! You cheater!"

I slapped him hard.

"Not  because I don't give your needs mean that you have a right to cheat on me! Cheating is cheating bastard!"

Crista was just stunned.

I turned to her and I looked at her hurt.

" And you.. I trusted you.. What on earth did you do that to me..." My tears is pooling.

And even my breathing is hitching.

" Your the last thing on my mind that I think will betray me... We're bestfriends for how long? I can't even count... Then this?! Just this?! It's friend ship over! You slut!" I slap her too.

" And to you Onyx. We're done."

" Let me explain first..."

" Don't f!cking ever bother me. Leave me alone!!!"

I ran to my room and cried my heart out.

I throw my phone that is full of memories with them.

Starting that day I cut the ties with them.

I studied like I didn't do for my whole schooling year just to avoid the pain that I felt.

A month after I just heard that Crista is pregnant with Onyx child. My classmates are terrified so they were so quiet when I'm at the room. They know ofcourse. Gossips around the school is true. And I don't even know who spread it.

Not me ofcourse.

I didn't feel anything about it. It's just nothing. I become numb because of them.

I heard that they married each other because his Dad don't want to have an illegitimate grandchild.

Maybe I was just his prologue but not his epilogue. Not all where it started it's the same what will it end.

And you must learn to accept. Even tough it's so hard for you. It's for your own good.

*

When the cabin crews say the words they have to say when we'll landing. I ready myself for my own chapter of life.

Not just because their story ended. Your own story ended to.

And I must suceed my long-standing New Year's Resolution.

To forget the past, to unlove him, and to find my own epilogue.

And maybe I can do it here in where my mom and grandmas raised.

The Pearl of the Orient Seas. Philippines.

I decided to have a vacation here after the holidays. If I feel like coming home then I'll come home. I'm not sure when I'll be back.

It's really hot here. Imagine it's morning but the temperature here is 31 degrees. It's not my first time here. We have a house in Quezon City but I'll be alone.

My wallet fell.

I don't want to be a tourist beggar here so I stopped and bend over to get my wallet.

I'm wearing a gray leather trouser, light yellow top it's neckline cut is low but not enough to display my cleavage just my collarbone so it's okay for me to bend over.  

When suddenly someone bump to my bum.

OMG!

"What the hell Mister! Are you not looking at your way!" Gosh his front bump my bum.

But when I looked at the man who bumped my bum. I was shocked. It's Lazuli.

The one who gave me a necklace that carve with the words Mahal ko. I'm wearing it now to match my outfit. What a coincidence.

I'm out of words but I ate my pride to say this to him.

"Do you still love me?" I ask.

I'm sweating bullets right now. Mahal ko means My Love in English.

"Ofcourse I always do."

And because of the destiny I achieved my new year's resolution. I loved him back.

So to those who have a long-standing new year's resolution that hasn't been done yet.

Always think that someday you'll succeed it.