68 comments

Adventure

MARA

โ€œStupid!โ€ Imana murmurs to herself, โ€œIf only Iโ€™d thrown that grappling hook with a bit more forceโ€ฆโ€

โ€œDude, calm down. Youโ€™ve been thinking like that for the past hour. It was probably my fault for leaning in too muchโ€ Ethan replies, sounding a bit guilty himself.

โ€œBoth of you, no. It wasnโ€™t anyoneโ€™s fault ok? Letโ€™s just be glad Ethan made it across alright. Ok?โ€ Celeste groaned.ย 

โ€œSheโ€™s right you guys. We shouldnโ€™t dwell on thisโ€ Astrid adds. Imana goes silent, but I have a hunch she still feels bad. We continue walking in a weird silence. I think Iโ€™m behind everyone since their voices are a little bit faint.ย 

โ€œWell M, you really pulled your weight huh?โ€ a voice I instantly recognize as Aniyah says while I feel a nudge on my shoulder. I shrug. I didnโ€™t do that much, I think it was Nainika who swung the vine over to Ethan.

โ€œNo but seriously, how did you find that vine?โ€ Aniyah questions.ย 

โ€œSpacial awareness I guessโ€ I sign back to her.

โ€œSpacial awareness huh? Cool. So you can just tell where things are?โ€ย 

I think about it. How did I know that vine was there? I just...listened I guess. I stood there and heard soft thuds close by. And when I walked over and bent down, there was a vine in my hand.ย 

โ€œYeah, I guess. I listen to my surroundings thatโ€™s allโ€ I finally say after a beat.

โ€œI guess itโ€™s pretty easy to listen when you canโ€™t see huh?โ€ Aniyah says a bit wistfully. I shrug, but she is right. Sounds just become a lot more clear when youโ€™re not distracted by your sight.ย 

โ€œBut why would you even need to listen anyway? Seriously M, why the blindfold?โ€ Aniyah asks suddenly. I feel my face go cold. How am I supposed to reply to that? Before I can reply though, I hear a thud come from in front of us.

โ€œOh my god!โ€ Aniyah shouts and runs in front of me. I freeze, whatโ€™s going on? By the sound of it, someone just hit the floor. But who? And why?

โ€œNainika!โ€ Celeste shrieks. I hear more footsteps and frantic movement, but I find myself frozen in place. I need to calm down and see if I can help. Panic attacks are the last thing I need right now. Just calm down...calm down...CALM DOWN. Breathe in and breathe out. Control your thoughts.

Nainikaโ€™s fine- but what if sheโ€™s not- she probably just fell from exhaustion- you should go help her- yeah I should- then move- but I canโ€™t move- why not- my body isnโ€™t letting me- so youโ€™re just gonna be useless again- Iโ€™m not useless- then why wonโ€™t you move and help- I help sometimes, like back at the ravine- that was just a fluke- shut up shut up shut up shut up- MOVE YOU COWRD- I canโ€™t move!- well stop shaking you look like a crazy person- wait Iโ€™m shaking- where is everyone?- did they leave- maybe the dangerโ€™s passed and you donโ€™t even know- or maybe they left me- canโ€™t blame them- is Nainika ok?- oh yeah you forgot about her and focused on yourself like the self-centered person you are- if I could just take one step- but you canโ€™t

โ€œMara!โ€ a voice interrupts my thoughts. I canโ€™t tell who it is over the roar of my thoughts, but it is someone.

โ€œCalm down! Youโ€™re fine ok?โ€ the voice continues, putting their hands on my shoulders. Hands. Grip. Tight. Hurts. Shoulder...hurts. Leave me alone. Don't hurt me. Stop. Don't touch me. Please don't touch me. I shove the person off of me and hear a yelp. Oh no. It sounds like they hit the ground hard. Did I just hurt someone? Oh god, oh no.

โ€œWhat the heck is wrong with her? Make her calm down!โ€ someone else says. All these voices. I canโ€™t determine a single one of them. Calm down Mara, youโ€™re causing trouble for everyone else. Like you always do.ย 

โ€œUm...are you guys ok?โ€ a completely new voice asks. And finally, thereโ€™s silence.

IMANA

โ€œCโ€™mon, I canโ€™t be the only one whoโ€™s suspicious about this right? This feels like so wrong.โ€ Ethan complains. The rest of us shrug and keep walking. Itโ€™s not like we had much of a choice. It was either follow the mysterious blue hair girl or deal with a panicking Mara and semi-dying Nainika ourselves.ย 

โ€œDonโ€™t worry, Iโ€™m not going to hurt you.โ€ the girl says in a sweet voice, โ€œIโ€™m taking you to where I live so my friend and I can help your friendโ€

โ€œYour place huh? Like where you live?โ€ I ask. The girl nods, and I realize I should probably stop just calling her โ€œthe girlโ€ in my head.

โ€œBy the way, whatโ€™s your name?โ€ Celeste asks, almost like she read my mind. She rubs the shoulder she hit when Mara pushed her as she speaks.

โ€œAlice. And you are?โ€ the girl- I mean Alice answers.

โ€œIโ€™m Celesteโ€ Celeste replies, wincing at the pain in her shoulder.

โ€œCeleste...thatโ€™s a really pretty name,โ€ Alice says. And for a while, thatโ€™s what anyone says as we walk in silence towards Aliceโ€™s โ€œplaceโ€. I look over at the group to see how everyoneโ€™s doing. Astrid and Ethan are carrying Nainika, one of her arms draped on each of their shoulders. Celeste walks next to Ethan, Aniyah walks next to me, and Mara trails behind us.ย 

The tension between us could be cut with a butter knife. Ethan seems to be...not angry, but certainly not too cheery towards Mara at the moment. Everyoneโ€™s concerned about Nainika, and we have no idea whatโ€™s wrong with her. All in all, itโ€™s not great.ย 

โ€œHere it is!โ€ Alice stops and turns around. We all look at her expectedly, since all thatโ€™s visible is a wall of plants and vines. Alice gives us a grin and pulls back the curtain of vines to reveal a large cave illuminated by bioluminescent mushrooms and fungi.

โ€œOh. My. God. This is so cool!โ€ Aniyah exclaims, breaking the silence.

โ€œI-it is? You think itโ€™s cool?โ€ Alice asks, her face lighting up.

โ€œHeck yeah, it is!โ€ Aniyah beamed, her eyes darting around the cave. I had to agree. The cave looked friendly and lived in. With hand-drawn maps, several jars filled with herbs, several random books scattered across, the glowing mushrooms, it looked amazing.

โ€œGlad you think soโ€ Alice replied with a giggle. She rubs her hands together and is soon ordering Astrid and Ethan to lay Nainika on a sleeping mat. As she paces around the room, gathering herbs and a worn journal, Alice asks what we were doing in the first place. We had to explain Astridโ€™s strange ring, the second bomb attack, and our journey to Middle Ground. To our surprise, Alice said sheโ€™d never heard of Middle Ground before.

โ€œBut it sounds amazing!โ€ she adds, rubbing some kind of poultice on one of the (several) hives on Nainikaโ€™s arm.

โ€œYou know what else sounds amazing? Not inviting random strangers into our cave.โ€ a completely new voice states. I turn around and jump at the voice. A tall guy with long white hair stands in front of me. And surprisingly doesnโ€™t look that angry or anything, just annoyed.ย 

โ€œI know that Galen, but they looked like they needed help!โ€ Alice whined, getting up and walking over to him.

โ€œYou see this is why I donโ€™t let you go hunting with me. You wander off and bring extra mouths to feed.โ€ the guy, I guess his name is Galen, groans.ย 

โ€œBut they needed help. You see, one of them is hurt!โ€ Alice whined. She grabbed Galen by the arm and led him to where Nainika was resting.

โ€œSee?โ€ she nudged. Galen sighed and turned to the rest of us, almost as if he was studying us. I have to admit, we did kind of look like a mess. Most of our clothes were stained, beads of sweat decorated our foreheads, and we all had at least one cut or bruise from an aggressive stray branch.ย 

โ€œOk fine,โ€ Galen said after a beat, โ€œThey can stay until we get that girl over there healed. And as soon as she can walk, theyโ€™re gone.โ€ย 

โ€œAnd maybe we can teach them a few things about surviving in the forest while theyโ€™re here?โ€ Alice suggested.

โ€œYou can handle that. These kids are not my responsibilityโ€ Galen says. With that, he picks up a sword from the corner of the cave and walks out.ย 

โ€œWell then. He seems like a nice guy.โ€ Aniyah groans and plops onto the ground.

โ€œGot that right.โ€ Ethan agrees and sits down with Celeste.

โ€œCan you really blame him though? Itโ€™s probably hard enough to provide for two people in the forest. Especially considering the crazy state our world is in right nowโ€ Astrid comments while she remains standing.ย 

โ€œFair,โ€ I say, sitting down with the rest of the group.

โ€œGalen really is a nice person, but the girl with the ring is correct. The forest is harsh. It isnโ€™t very easy finding food and such.โ€ Alice explains, quieting down a bit as she continues to tend to Nainika. She stares at her for a bit before wincing.

โ€œWhat? Whatโ€™s wrong?โ€ Celeste asks. When I think about it, itโ€™s the first time she speaks since we arrived.ย 

โ€œI-itโ€™s nothing, really, just um...your friend. She has a brutally high fever, her breathingโ€™s slow, but the main problem is her heartbeat.โ€ Alice whispers.ย 

โ€œWhat do you mean? What about her heartbeat?โ€ Aniyah asks before any of us can.

โ€œI justโ€ฆโ€ Alice pauses before taking a breath and continuing to speak, โ€œI can barely feel or hear itโ€

DUN! DUN! DUNNNNNNNNN! End of Part Four! (Took me long enough-) Yeah, forest won the poll, so here we are. Alsoโ€ฆ new characters! Meet Galen Frost and Alice everyone! Lemme know how you enjoyed this part. Iโ€™m not proud of it, but I donโ€™t hate it either.

April 28, 2021 19:11

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

68 comments

omg yass I remember and gosh I totally wish it were the Summer of Reedsy again before all the down voting and not enough time to write stories due to school and people leaving and dnwejejjnjwjwjwjwjdiooeown endhe

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
21:12 May 10, 2021

"the Summer of Reedsy" I love that it was sO different from what it is now. things have changed, for both better and worse

Reply

omg yes frr tho, I really miss the Wrirates and Vayd and Orenda and how literally everything was so carefreeeeeeee But yeah, with new times comes new...friends? Yep Iโ€™m pretty sure that was the only improvement lol

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
19:18 May 11, 2021

yes lots of new friends and series

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

hey sarah! about the form you filled out, you said non-binary- i hope i dont offend you but im not experienced much with that, does that mean your pronouns in the story are they/them? again sorry im not too familiar with puttin that kind of stuff in my stories <3

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
20:15 Apr 28, 2021

yeah non-binary means they/them, you got it right don't worry!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Oh my gurshhhhh Sarah I think I forgot to thank you for reminding me of the hashtag #WhenYourAnxietyHasAnxiety like a week ago because Iโ€™ve already used it like five times since then lol~ *cough* school *cough*

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
22:24 May 05, 2021

lol yw

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
20:17 Apr 28, 2021

Ok really quick before I forget- Alice- Amany Sayed (<3) Galen- Whisper, previously known as Bucky Barnes

Reply

Show 0 replies
Sia S
01:01 Jun 18, 2021

New story!

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
01:22 Jun 18, 2021

Oh yeah I read it. Loved the title, and the concept. It's almost like an Alice in Wonderland kind of story...I wonder if there's gonna be a part two?

Reply

Sia S
01:56 Jun 18, 2021

Yay, thanks!! Yup there is ;) maybee

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
16:15 May 29, 2021

yo what's up?

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
20:44 May 29, 2021

just got back from my little sister's birthday party. it was fun but tiring

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

For the question in your bio, you can tweak my backstory if you would like to :)

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
01:27 May 20, 2021

cool, ty!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
18:30 Apr 29, 2021

Wow, this was great! Switching up the POVs adds to the story, and I like it. I'm really liking where you're going with this. (Nainika better not die.) Can't wait for the next part! Here are some critiques: You switch back and forth between past tense and present tense. I suggest you stick with a permanent tense. That's because going back and forth can be confusing for your readers. I can point out specific examples if you'd like! There are also some punctuation issues with dialogue. I'll be more specific if you'd like. Great job!

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
19:56 Apr 29, 2021

oh, I switched between tenses? Oof- I tried my best not to, could you please point out any examples for me? And as for who lives and who dies...that's a secret ;)

Reply

20:18 Apr 29, 2021

Well, to tell you which parts to fix, you have to tell me which tense you were aiming for with this story. Lol, understandable.

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
20:23 Apr 29, 2021

present tense

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
17:14 Apr 29, 2021

"Kiri is best" :DD

Reply

Show 0 replies

LOl I have said the word "Dude" once more in your story than I have in real life... ever. And I said it once. Then again, as like basically one of the only guys, I guess I have to have powers of "tOxIC mAsCuLiNiTy" Ew lol

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
12:51 Apr 29, 2021

lmao, "dude" is actually kind of a common word in my vocabulary, so I use it in my dialogue from time to time. sorry if it was weird. if there's toxic masculinity in the story, we shall remove it because GOD is that annoying.

Reply

Lol no, it's okay. Plus, my view of toxic masculinity is very warped bc it has been thrown my way vIoLenTly many times.

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
13:21 Apr 29, 2021

ah i see, doesn't sound great

Reply

hehe, I mean... lol women have it worse with... everything. It's just that I'm not a very boyish boy, and other guys hate that, lol

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
11:31 Apr 29, 2021

wait seriously? ha, that's amazing. ty!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

:DDD thank you sm for including me and writing from my character's POV aHhH~ I noticed that whenever there's a quotation, instead of putting a period, you should replace it with a comma :) but that's the only thing I noticed, other than that this was GRATE ๐Ÿง€๐Ÿง€๐Ÿง€!!!! lmk when the next part comes out :) ~ Amethyst

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
00:57 Apr 29, 2021

ah you're welcome! I wanna try and write from everyone's perspective at least once so everyone can feel included y'know?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Subtle hints of l o v e~ XD NIKA DONT DIE EEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU NEEED TO LIVEEEEEEEEE- lol Galen seems nice XD Who Alice lol So many A characters- And Mara is a mooooood XD

Reply

Sunny ๐ŸŒผ
20:16 Apr 28, 2021

indeed hehehe, her fate is in my hands now oh wow I do have a lot of A characters...huh

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Unknown User
23:28 Mar 20, 2022

<removed by user>

Reply

Show 0 replies
Akshara P
14:39 Dec 27, 2021

I can be "that" friend who cares about you like kuroo cares about kenma. ๐Ÿ’• seriously... you seem cool. :) lol this is awkward...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Unknown User
12:19 Sep 01, 2021

<removed by user>

Reply

Show 0 replies

bruh jsuwhqhsgqyqa hullo (Donโ€™t mind me, being bored and spamming friends ;D)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Sia S
08:45 Jul 12, 2021

New story!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Sia S
15:10 Jul 11, 2021

New story (involving hilarious grannies) ;)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 0 replies