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Urban Fantasy Funny Speculative

* Featuring a character from "A Spirit Set on Revenge"

 Kalena peeks around the tree. "How do we know what a fool looks like?" She wasn't familiar with this strange tradition until she saw all the signs and posters for this day to celebrate the fools. "I find the whole thing distasteful."

"I believe they will be wearing those atrocious mask-glasses combos," Je says, cautiously stepping out from cover. The symbol was on many posters.

"The one with the mustache. At least we know how to spot these fools." Kalena checks both ways before gesturing for him to follow her. "I cannot believe this island has sunk so low as to allow a day such as this."

"And why fools?" Je asks. "Why revere the ones you once reviled?" He is thankful he left his horse to its own devices. It would never go along with hiding.

"Maybe it's to let them get their foolery out of their system? Give them a day to act ridiculous?" Kalena would never understand these people. There was a day when such fools were cast out to sea, not given a day for themselves, a day of worship. As a vengeful spirit, she had plenty to be angry about, but this made it further at the top of the list than even the wrongful conquering of her people's island. The gods would surely get rid of such traditions when she's paved the way for their return.

"A foolish idea in itself," Je tsks. "A fool never tires of being a fool."

"And has infected the whole island from the sounds of it." Kalena glances at him. His hair was dark, and his eyes a bright blue. Last time he had green eyes. It took a bit of adjustment to get used to the constant change in heads. But at least, he was spreading the murders out by riding his kelpie from island to island. Always coming back here. To her.

Je gasps, delighted. "Perhaps it is an affliction!"

"You think it's a disease?" Kalena hadn't thought of such a possibility. "Can someone even be infected with a fool virus?"

"It could be!" Je beams at the thought. "Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"I don't think we're seeing this the same way." Kalena hurries to the alley between the ice cream parlor and the beach bar. "Why would it be wonderful to have a virus that does such a thing?"

Je hesitates at the edge of the trees. Finally, when he's sure no one is about, he follows. "Because then it is not their fault."

"What if it's a manmade virus? What if they created it and have spread it around to drive down the population." Kalena's mind was abuzz with possibilities. "I'm all for destroying humankind but with foolery... Even I'm not that cruel."

"Well, that's simply heinous," Je says, taken aback at the thought. "Perhaps we should linger in town for a bit."

"Ice cream or fruit smoothie? I hear both are great. Iolana seemed to think the smoothness of fruit was tasty..." Her eyes widen. "Iolana! She's human." Her friend may have been cursed centuries ago and trapped on the island, but she was still technically human. "She could become infected. We must get to her."

"Lead the way," Je says, determination in his eyes. "We can debate sweets another time."

"I promise. After this dreadful day has ended." Kalena pokes her head out of the alley to search. "She'll be in the forest. I'm sure of that. Surely this virus can't reach her there." She looks both directions to ensure no fools were about. A man without a shirt was walking down the beach, a woman in what Iolana called a bikini was lodging on a towel, and two kids were burying their father alive. No sign of a fool. She gestures for Je to follow as she darts for the trees.

Je races through the woods at Kalena's side. Despite the troubling nature of this run, he enjoys it. Kalena is precious to him. He finds himself admiring her at every turn.

"I think your horse would be useful now." Kalena may be a water spirit, but that didn't stop her from getting tired by running on land. The water offered much more freedom.

"Yes, but think of the downside." Je catches her by the wrist and gently tugs. "It would insist on hunting these fools."

"That wouldn't be so bad... though..." She meets his eyes. "You would end up with a fool's head." She steps closer. "Not a great look for anyone."

"Perhaps you would not care for me, then?" He smiles despite his efforts to play at being serious.

Kalena wraps her arms around his waist. "As long as you're still you, I'd handle a fool for a little while." She crinkles her nose with a smile. "But not forever."

Je laughs as he pulls her closer. "I would not keep such a face forever," he assures her. He leans in and brushes a kiss across her nose. "You are so beautiful."

"You can compliment my beauty later. We must hurry. Before those mustache fiends find us." Kalena lets go but not before she gives him a quick kiss on the lips. "We must get to Iolana."

"I shall hold you to that." Je scans their surroundings, nods, and strides into the trees.

"I hear something... Laughter... I read that laughing is part of this virus. And the desire for trickery. It's part of the fool symptoms." Kalena takes his arm and drags him behind a tree. "Shhh."

Je cloaks them both with his abilities. They worked on normal humans, but he wasn't sure how a human infected with the fool virus may react. "Why are they so deep into the woods?"

"Perhaps, it drives you to madness right before death." Kalena peeks around his shoulder. She saw two men and a teenage girl walking through with packs on their backs. She hears the girl laugh. "Looks like a family." The trio makes their way past, heading toward a place the first man said was their family spot.

"I cannot tell from this angle," Je whispers. "Are they infected?"

"They don't seem to be... though that one man does have a mustache... No glasses, though. And the girl is laughing, but perhaps her fathers are simply funny." Kalena watches them until they leave. "They have gone."

"We should hurry," Je says. "I worry for your friend."

"We must not dally. But it'd do Iolana no good if the fools were to get to us." Kalena hurries ahead, careful not to lose her headless horseman. She rounds a corner and goes down a steep incline which led to Iolana's secret spot. Her friend was once a princess of the humans before she was dealt a great disservice and cursed. She did not wait for someone to free her. Instead, Iolana found a way to live with her curse. Ultimately, she broke it on her own terms, keeping certain perks, such as her connection to the land and her ability to speak with animals.

A fox ran across their path, pausing to yip at Kalena before heading off on its way.

"I do believe we were just given a report," Je says.

"That's a relief. Follow the fox." Kalena wished she could understand the animals the same way, but she knew enough to know when Iolana sent one. They follow along the path that the fox takes and take a dip down into a hole that leads to an underground cave that ran with a stream. "Iolana?" she calls.

"I'm here," Iolana calls back from where she sat. "You have great timing. I was just thinking about showing you this place."

"Are you well?" Je asks.

"We were so worried." Kalena hurries to her friend and hugs her. She pokes at her face. "No mustache!"

"Excuse you?" Iolana pulls Kalena into the stream with her. "That's a little rude."

Kalena yelps but steadies herself in the cool water. "We worried the virus, had you. But you aren't laughing, you don't have a mustache, and you are most certainly not a fool. Do you have a desire to play a trick or prank?"

"What... no, of course, I don't!" Iolana glances at Je. "What is she talking about?"

"We have discovered that the island is suffering from an outbreak," Je explains. "The fool virus. I'm sure you've heard of it."

"That this day for whatever reason was given to these fools to spread their illness to others. Like you." Kalena puts a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"You're mistaken," Iolana says slowly. "There is no such thing."

"We have seen the posters," Je says. "You do not have to shield us from this."

"We can handle the horrors humanity has inflicted. We are vengeful spirits, after all. We can take a few fools. I'm sure together we can fight them. If need be, we will kill every fool on this island until no mustache is to remain!" Kalena declares.

Iolana stares at her friend. "Kalena, no. There's no virus."

"Why else would this day exist?" Je asks. "Only a madman would hold a fool aloft as an example to all."

"No one is doing that!" Iolana insists. She looks from Kalena to Je and back again. "Okay, I'm going to explain this to you carefully, so listen close." She splashes her face with water. "April Fool's Day is not meant to glorify fools. It's just a day where friends can pull silly pranks on one another. Not everyone participates, and not everyone likes it, just like any other holiday."

"Holiday? So today is a day to … play pranks on your friends?" Kalena asks slowly.

"That's right," Iolana says. "Wait, no, it's not today."

"It's not the day of fools today?" Kalena asks. She looks to Je. "Does this mean we're the fools?"

March 29, 2021 07:40

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