The Stranger

"Hello."

"Hi."

"You need a ride?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Its a rainy day."

"I know"

"If I were you I’d go into the building, take some cover."

"I’m good."

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"The end of the world."

"Not long now."

"Yes"

"He should have be here now."

"She, the end is a she."

"How do you know?"

"We’ve met… She’s late, she’s never late."

"Maybe, she got caught up talking to someone, and she lost track of time."

"Maybe."

"Or she just decided that today wasn’t the day."

"Yes that’s another possibility."

"Why do you want to find her anyway?"

"Classified."

"Alright then I won’t judge you."

"You want an umbrella?"

"No"

"A rain coat."

"No."

"How about some candy?"

"I TOLD YOU, DON’T WANT ANYTHING."

"Ok calm down, you're gonna break a bulb… Some people just aren’t built for conversation."

"If looks can kill the one I’m giving you would drop you dead in three seconds."

"You know, today isn’t really a good day to do work. Maybe she’d come back another day."

"Not possible."

"Its seven o clock."

"I know."

"But you don’t, your watch got soaked by the rain."

"Can I have an umbrella."

"Maybe."

"Why is it maybe it's either yes or no."

"I would love to give you an umbrella… but unfortunately I don't have one."

"You are a waste of words."

"And you are a waste of oxygen."

"Maybe if you wore a t-shirt saying THE END IS NEAR then she’d come"

"She wouldn’t like that."

"Maybe she would."

"She won’t."

"How do you know?"

"I’ve done that before."

"I never thought you’d ever try that."

"Didn’t end well."

"How many eyes do you think she has?"

"Two."

"Ears?"

"Two."

"Hair color?"

"Black."

"Do you think her hair are snakes? Like Medusa’s?"

"No."

"Can you utter more than twenty words in. One sentence.

"Never eat fuzzy pickles unless your friend tells you to, or if your gut tells you, that’s what I think."

"Not to shabby."

"Not shabby at all."

"Well, I never thought you could make it, if I’m being honest here. Anyway, do you think she’s pretty?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Or maybe that high blood pressure is making your ears work extra hard."

"She’s normal looking. Like a normal looking person."

"Okay then. Would you like a raincoat?"

"You don’t have one."

"Hm, you’re catching on."

"Are you going to leave now?"

"No."

"Why not? Don’t you have a life to live instead of tricking folks into thinking they need raincoats or umbrellas and then telling them you don’t have any?"

"I never said I had a raincoat or an umbrella actually."

"You did."

"I actually didn’t."

"Really."

"Really. I asked you if you would like one, if that’s what you mean."

"That’s exactly what I mean!"

"Well I don’t have one."

"I KNOW THAT!"

"You want some candy?"

"Stop it or I will call the police!"

"Okay, chill suit yourself, I want a chocolate."

"I thought you didn’t have one."

"Well I do and you thought wrong."

"What flavour?"

"Mint."

"Sorry I ran out."

"Caramel."

"Not one."

"Cookies and cream."

"That’s a flavour?"

"Birthday cake."

"Now you're just making it up."

"Hazelnut?"

"Not a sign."

"Then what do you have?"

"Chocolate."

"Anything other than chocolate."

"Nothing."

"Then why did you ask."

"I am really nice and I like to ask a lot."

"More like you're really annoying."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Take it or leave it."

"Leave it."

"Fine then."

"So why do you want to see her?"

"I want an - wait it's classified."

"Hmm right."

"Is it a selfish reason?"

"Classified."

"I can read minds."

"No you can’t."

"What if I could."

"But the reality is that you can’t."

"I’m leaving!"

"That would do me lots of good."

"Then I’m staying."

"Please don’t."

"I can read your mind, think of number from one to ten."

"Ok."

"Multiply it by two."

"Got it."

"Add eight."

"Yes."

"Divide it by two."

"Alright."

"Convert the answer you get to a corresponding letter of the alphabet. Say, for 1 it's letter A, For 2 it's letter B and so on."

"My head hurts."

"Think of a country that starts with that letter."

"Ok."

"Skip one letter into the alphabet."

"This is remarkably specific, mind reading."

"Think of an animal that starts with that letter."

"Yep."

"Now think of what colour it is. And tell me what you got. Was it grey elephant from Denmark?"

"No it was Brown eagle from Djibouti."

"How about another one?"

"Sure."

"What day is Christmas?"

"December twenty - fifth

"What is a number between one and three?"

"Two."

"What side of the road do they drive one in Europe?"

"Left."

"Think of a colour and a tool."

"Got it."

"Was it red hammer?"

"No blue screwdriver."

"You have no idea how long it took to master this trick."

"Well clearly you didn’t master it then."

"How about another one."

"I’m not sure your tricks work."

"When I put my hand in this bag I know that I will pull out chocolate."

"There is only chocolate in there."

"Oh."

"Oh what?"

"Hm, you’re kind of good at ruining my magic tricks."

"You’re kind of not good at doing magic tricks."

"Ouch."

"Got any more?"

"Oh wow, what did you say? Say it again!"

"You heard what I said. I might as well do something while I’m waiting, right?"

"I don’t have anymore."

"Why does this remind me of the raincoat. And the umbrella. And the candy."

"Were those questions?"

"Not really."

"Listen gotta head back to work or my boss will be real angry. And I have a letter for you."

"Thanks. Dear Ronald, I have decided that I forgive you for wearing the the end is near 

t - shirt. But, in return you must tell my boss that it was not my fault that I was late for work that day. So you better do that or you must not be forgiven, sincerely End."

"Yep so are you coming?"

"I don’t think I will End, bye!"