Love is Enough

You have lived with them for some time. You moved in with them only because you loved them. And in all the movies, love was enough to face anything.

You should have known that all the movies were lying. Love wasn’t nearly enough. You needed every other part of fate to be working with you to give all the credit to love. When fate itself is against your very happiness, then love is useless. Love becomes a word that is thrown around lightly, a word with no meaning.

You had thought that they were the one, the only one. You had believed with all your heart that no adversity could weaken your bond.

You were wrong.

Things got worse with every day instead of getting better.

People said that the pandemic was an opportunity to get to know your partner better, they said that it was a golden chance to spend all your time with them.

They didn’t mention the struggle that comes with sharing your personal space with your partner day in and day out.

They didn’t mention that you both would not talk to each other unless it was absolutely necessary.

You go to sleep after them every night and roll around until you are sticky with sweat. You wake up alone, only a depression on the bed to indicate that they had been there.

You had a fight, about something. It clearly doesn’t matter because you don’t even remember the reason anymore. But both of you are stubborn. You will not admit your mistake unless they admit it first.

The two of you sit in silence for hours before one of you have something to say. When you do have something to say, it is irrelevant and completely the opposite of what you really want to say. The fall in your partner’s face indicates that they wanted to hear something else.

You don’t know how to communicate with them anymore. You don’t know what to say to make it better, to make it easier. Talking to them becomes a chore more than a pleasure.

Today is different. You don’t eat in silence today. They sit next to you and start asking you about your day in that tone they use when they are sorry, and they want you to know it.

You apologize to them before they get to say it first. Their eyes widen, and the lines on their face become less noticeable as they kiss you. You kiss them back in relief.

It takes time.

You catch yourself being distant, like you were after your fight. You try your best to get back to how things used to be, but sometimes you forget. They forget too, but then give you that sheepish smile that melts away all your doubts.

Watching a movie together brings back the silence, the comfortable one this time. You both laugh at the same things because you have the same sense of humour. You catch them looking at you when they think you are not noticing. Your cheeks heat up at the expression on their face, the expression they used to have when they had a crush on you but no courage to voice it.

It makes you feel better than you let yourself believe. Feeling wanted and needed by someone makes you feel like the world could crumble around you and you could sit there with a serene smile on your face, your arms around them.

That day finally comes when you kiss each other, and you find that you cannot stop. You cannot let go. It is not just a kiss anymore when you both cling on to each other tighter with every second.

Your lips roam, and so do theirs.

That night is not as hard as usual. Because even though both of you are coated in sweat, you have giddy smiles on your faces.

Now when you ask each other about their day, you mean it. You really want to know what happened, and how they felt. You want to feel connected to every part of their lives, you don’t want to blink and miss even a single detail, you don’t want to be left out.

It is always worth it because you realize how much they have been keeping inside, how much baggage they are carrying, how many regrets they keep and how many pent-up feelings they have.

You feel honoured to be the one they are opening up to. That is all you have ever wanted, after all. You wanted someone to trust you enough to tell you anything and everything, without filtering of any kind.

Your trust in them multiplies with every thought they share, and soon you begin to say it all too. Sometimes those talks end in laughter and sometimes in tears. But that is okay because you sleep well those nights. Those nights where you are too emotionally exhausted to stay awake and think about pointless things. Those are the best kind of nights.

You both play video games, board games, watch all the movies and binge watch all the television shows you can possibly find. You devour all the content you can and share anything that may interest the other person. You both laugh at all the jokes you can, no matter how lame.

You inevitably have those days when everything that seemed like fun seems like a job. When every person who cares about you is pushed away, and the door of your room is locked as you vent out your feelings to an inanimate pillow.

You sometimes leave the door unlocked and hope for them to enter and make it all better.

They always know when to stay and when to leave. They always know when to just lend a shoulder and when to lend a few words of advice. They sometimes cry with you when they think you don’t notice. What you don’t know is whether they are hurting with your pain, or whether they have pain of their own.

Every day and every night, you pray for the world to go back to normal, for everything to go back to the way it used to be.

You also pray that your relationship with them never changes, and if it does, it only becomes deeper.

Maybe love is enough to survive.