5 comments

Fiction Happy Drama

It is another hot day at West Bruke. Sun is blooming above the clear Monday sky, like a sunflower at the middle of a Periwinkle garden, brightening the day with pleasant weather. 

Bus arrives at a terminus. Opening the door, passengers plod out of the bus, and a guy name Daren Sendras steps out at last with a messenger bag.

“Why car’s tire punctures at the wrong day? and it’s gonna be hot today for sure,” he says, wiping sweat off his forehead.

His Oxfords strides on the smooth concrete sidewalk. The reflection of sunlight on his wrist watch sparkles his brown eyes, as he raise it up to check the time.

“It’s 9 a.m. already.” he says, slicking back his black long neck-length hair.

He is a private company employee. A cheerful man in his late twenties, who always slick back his hair when he is nervous or excited.

Turning at his right, he looks at his reflection on a window glass of a restaurant, and brushes his formal white shirt, and adjusts his tie.

“Looking handsome dude,” he says to himself, giving a fake finger gunshot.

He walks by a short right turning and stands near a zebra crossing. The day is busy as any other Monday. People around him, whether it be in car or by walk, everyone is rushing for their job.

A working lady passes behind him, in a rush. He turns and looks at her with eyes that thinks she is someone else, as her rosy fragrance reminds him of someone he loves. 

“Same as April’s,” he whispers and takes out his wallet. At the photo pocket, there is a photo of him and beautiful women carrying a baby.

He looks at the photo and smiles, remembering his best moments in life, one of which was ten years back, when he first met his wife, April...

On July 6th 2009, young Daren, a college soccer player, who was enjoying his best days, had a soccer match. Getting ready and packing all the accessories: soccer cleats, shin guards, jersey, and other essential in his bag, he rode his bike towards Beltin stadium where the match was about to held.

On the way, he was speeding over 50 mph on an average traffic roadway because he was running out of time. 

Suddenly, bike's chain broke.

“Oh no.” He parked the bike on side road. He slicked back his hair and checked the bike.

“God... I’m done. Captain gonna kick my a**,” he said, slicking his hair again.

The scorching heat of Saturday noon was burning his body, when he stood at the edge and asked for lift, but no one lend a hand.

“Well... this is how it is.”

He crouched down, and dialled his captain’s number to tell him, his was going to be late.

“Hey?” He heard a feminine voice calling him, from right side. He turned towards the direction. A girl with short black hair, sitting on a scooter, was staring at him with her crystal blue eyes.

“You want lift?”

In happiness, raising his eyebrows, he said, “yes.” 

He got up and walked to her. He thought that he was the luckiest person to get lift by such a beautiful girl.

She nodded her head, gesturing him to take the seat.

Quickly, he sat down and said, “To Beltin stadium and thank you so much for helping me. I thought I was done for today.”

“Okay... welcome. Soccer match right?"

"Yup."

"Cool... I’m April Stanfort.”

“I’m Daren Sendras, nice to meet you. Can you please hurry,” he said, wiping sweat off his forehead.

“Okay, calm down.”

His nervous disappeared with her aromatic rosy fragrance. Taking a deep breath, he smelled her lively fragrance, and refreshed his mind.

“Nice perfume.”

Looking at Daren with the corner of her eyes, April giggled. “Mom’s choice. And don’t smell like this, you look like a pervert.” 

He was stunned by what she said. Without saying a word he stopped breathing from his nose and chose to mouth breathe. 

She glanced at his face on the rear view mirror and laughed. “I was joking, c’mon. Perfume are meant to be smelled.”

“I’m okay,” he said with a feeble tone.

She started speeding at a medium traffic roadway. He was quite happy with the speed they were going at, as he would reach the stadium soon. Later on, he found that she didn’t stop at the red light.

“Hey, you were suppose to stop there!”

“yeah,” she said, nodding her head.

“Then?”

“Chill, this are normal. Don’t worry.”

“Okay.” 

Then a car came near to them but April didn’t grab the breaks and ended up making a huge scratch on the car’s body.

Daren Looked behind at the driver coming out of his car. “why didn’t you break?”

“Simply.”

“That was a crazy stuff, which you did.”

After a while, they were half a mile away from the stadium. She turned her face and said,” I have one bad news and one good news. Which one you wanna hear?”

A slanting road, almost sixty degree, was In front of them. 

“good news.”

“Stadium is right there.”

“I know and... bad?”

Reaching the slanting road, she chuckled. “My breaks are not working.”

“What?” he shouted. His blood ran cold.

The scooter skyrocketed like a F1 car. People around the sidewalk were shouting. 

“Why didn’t you say it sooner?” He shouted, staring at his death in front of him.

“Because I thought it will be okay.” She shouted in excitement. “Never been this way that’s why I didn’t knew the road to hell is here.” 

At the end of the slanting road there was a iron grilled wall. Turning at the speed of 60 mph seemed near to impossible. He looked around the place to find a soft spot to jump on. A stack of dry leaves at the side road caught his attention. 

“Okay, we are jumping now.” 

“What? You are crazy.”

“The situation now is craziest.”

He grabbed her waist and waited for the perfect moment.

“Okay 1... 2... 3.”

With a jump, they both screamed knowing if they couldn’t do it, they were a goner.

Both of them landed above the stacks, scattering the leaves around.

“We did it,” he said, panting.

“Yeah, thanks for saving,” she said, panting and giggling.

“This is the craziest day of my life.”

“and so as for me.” 

“But your scooter?”

“It’s okay, too old to ride it anyways. I will get a new one.”

After exchanging few pleasantries, they reached the stadium. 

“You wanna watch our match?”

“I’m sorry but I have to inform my dad about the scooter.”

“You’re going to blame me or what?”

She chuckled. “No, why would I? Chill”

Taking the advantage of the situation, he asked, “Hey can I get your no.? Maybe some other day I can thank you properly.”

“Sure.”


A phone call distracts him from his remembrance. It is his wife, April. With a broad smile, he picks up her call.

“I’m on the way.”

“What... You didn’t reach yet? Better run now. It’s almost time."

He starts crossing the road, talking to his wife.

“You remember out first meet?”

She giggled. “Yes, why? You wanna experience it again?”

“Hell no.”

“She laughed. “I remember your cry baby face.”

After reaching the other side, he turns right and walks towards his office, which is few meters upfront.

“Why did you call me by the way?”

“Oh yes, get a package of diaper way back home, okay.”

“Sure, okay honey... bye, I reached my office, love you.”

“Love you too.”




October 02, 2020 18:23

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5 comments

03:09 Oct 04, 2020

Cool story idea, but I would say you need to work on your prospective a bit. You jump around in your tense from past to present and back again. First person perspective allows you to tell the story as though it were happening to you and you are the character. This would be great if entirely in that perspective. Also to keep it in present tense as you tell it in the 1st person would make it very effective.

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04:17 Oct 04, 2020

Thank you for your feedback. As totally new to writing, I really needed it to know my flaws.

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04:34 Oct 04, 2020

That is why we are here and have the ability to comment. We are all trying to perfect things and get better at it.

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Ray Dyer
14:22 Oct 05, 2020

You've got some clear descriptions in here, such as her "crystal blue eyes." I also like the specifics that you use, such as his "Oxfords" on the ground. If I were to recommend anything for your next story, it would be to look at the dialogue in some other writing. See how the rhythm of a conversation appears on the screen. Every language has a unique "flow" to it, and capturing that can be tricky. This is a fun story, and the ending made me smile. I saw below that you said that you are new to writing; this is a solid start. You've go...

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15:38 Oct 05, 2020

Thank you so much, it means a lot. And, I'm working hard on my dialogues. Thank you for your advice, I will surely look over some iconic writer's dialogues.

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