THE NOON STRIKES TWICE

The noon appeared at the corner and another wave of heat flicked my face with flaming fingers. I was lying down on the grass, enjoying the brief moments of summer breeze. Today was just the same as the other days of summer: hot, sticky, and nauseous. My fragile legs, my mom always said that they looked like wooden sticks, could never handle the accumulating drops of sweat rolling down my knees. Everything was saturated and it made me sick even to think or see.

           I was licking my popsicle while trying to avoid the sunlight; I hated to think that it could penetrate under my skin and alter all those tiny veins or chemicals without me being aware. It was lemon flavored, my favorite. The ice slipping under my tongue felt like a glance into heaven. There was almost nothing that could give me strength like this sour yet sweet and savory taste in these dog days of summer. It was the anxious expectation and anticipation of lemon popsicle that allowed me to perceive the passing of time. If there were no popsicles, there would not be me because every inch of my existence held unto that moment when my lips hungrily met the ice. I sensed that freezing lemon taste kept my ideas intact or else that annoying huge ball would melt my brain. I turned around lazily because the sun shifted its position in the sky which made me lose all my shadow and now, I was exposed like a little fly in the web of a spider, waiting to be devoured.

           I looked at the sun squinting. That damned blazing star was created to ruin me and me only!

           “Valeria, I see your popsicle melting! Don’t ruin your dress, darling!”

           Upon my mom’s scolding, I opened my eyes slightly. Blue and black dots flew around my eyes accompanying a sense of falling. She appeared in front of the porch just for a minute and then disappeared with her laundry basket; it was like a dream. I looked at my left hand where I was holding my popsicle and I saw that my grasp of the stick was unnecessarily tight; there was a few fingernail marks and a numbness in my fist. I started to lick the ice almost dripping onto my leg with great care which was a great part of eating a popsicle for me. I did not give a damn about my dress; it was just another piece of fabric, this one was yellow like my popsicle though— which made me feel a stupid affection, nothing more. After I finished licking all the drops, I noticed a piece of granite sticking out of the tree’s roots; I started playing with it aimlessly.

           The street was almost empty except for a cat throwing its chunky body under the short shadow of Miss Gardner’s mailbox. It stopped halfway along its journey and started to lick its tail hastily. I always found it weird to spy on a cat because they were not bound with the reason like us; they did not care if they decided to clean their fur in the middle of the street with the risk of getting hit by a car. Every inch of this universe was either a bathroom or a bedroom for them. However, what I mainly envied was the fact that their world was limitless. They could climb on the trees, have a sunbath on the rooftops, enjoy a short meal on the stairs; they did not have to wear stupid clothes all the damn time! I wish I could rip off my dresses or skirts and live like a cat because at this scalding hot noon, they were no help and it was a burden to carry them around on my skin.

           As I was watching the cat from my chill corner, the weight of the popsicle in my fist disappeared. This sudden change distressed me as it was a grave danger for me if it lapsed on my dress. I looked down in fear, there smiled at me the lemon ice on the grass. “Oh, damn you!” I shrieked. Not only I lost the best portion of my popsicle, the end corners which were close to melting— yet still cold and almost eligible to drink, but also my dress was stained; the shape reminded me of Europe. It was that big of a stain! On top of all, I heard Amelia laughing like a goose. Her laughter shook all the neighborhood and I was out in the open. I had no place to hide or run; the house would be more alarming than Amelia as my mother would punish me, and the tree I was lying under was not big enough to cover me. I wiped the sweat on my forehead and tried to shrink myself into a tiny ball of human flesh.

           It did not work.

           “Val, hey! It’s me, Amelia!”

           Amelia had a frustrating habit of calling me Val, and I hated it. I wasn’t even close to her, yet she always felt entitled to claim such rights. I remember she once tried to steal my teddy bear saying it was hers and she found it at the pool, but it was my teddy bear and I forgot it at the pool, there is a huge difference between forgetting and unfair possession— which led her to cry like a goose, she was always a goose in my eyes, when confronted by me.

           I did not reply her, but I assumed she used her goose-like tracking skills to locate me as she ended up standing above me like a disgusting weed.

           “Are you hiding from me?” she asked.

           “No, I am not hiding from you Amelia. I am just too tired to do anything.”

           “Cool. I will sit with you, then. My mother says you should not be left alone because you are…” She stopped.

           “I am what?” I demanded, I could almost feel the flames climbing up my throat, there was also an itch on my fingers which I did not know why.

           “Nothing, Val. Nothing.”

           “Don’t call me Val! I hate it.”

           “But I like it. I think it suits you and your entire wild nature better.”

           “Damn you, kid!”

           “You are also a kid, you know.”

          I knew If I answered it would only encourage her to speak more, so I chose silence. But I could not help but wonder what she meant a moment ago. I believed I was exceptional when I was alone because there was no stupidity in my bones like Amelia or her mother or my mom, yet when they decided to tarnish my solitude, everything went dark and insufferable.

            As the sun changed its position once more, I did not hesitate to push Amelia aside to protect my shade. If she wanted a war, I could give her. But just in that moment, I assume she saw it when I pushed her, she started screaming that my dress was stained.

           “Val, oh Val! Look at your dress! It is so dirty that I am afraid I will have to tell your mother about this. I knew my mom was right, Val, I just knew it. You are nothing but a hunch on all of us! But don’t worry, I shall still be near you because you need me. You need me Val.”

           I lost control of everything. I threw myself over her; I wanted to tear all her limbs apart for all the things she said and did for all those times. I could not bear even the thought of her anymore.

          “Shut up now!” I screamed even louder then her. I thought I was about to cause a storm.

           “I am sick of you and your mother and everything that relates back to you! You are the hunch and you are the virus that keeps feeding on me. I hate everything about you. You are just a whimsy little damn kid who does not know her boundaries. You sound like a goose hissing all the time and you look like one as well. I hate you; do you hear me? I hate you like I hate dresses!”

           I was shaking her with great force, but I was trembling as well. All the cells in my body assembled to scream this hatred. I did not care at all that the sun was burning my neck, or the popsicle was gone. There was one thing that was as alive as this tree and it was revenge. I wanted to make her pay all the little tricks she had performed and all the times she tried to attach herself to me. Her whole existence was triggering me to dream such vicious things that I would not dare imagine but surely encountered in newspapers. I wanted to hurl her body in a pit and smash it with my bear hands.

Her hair was flying around her head as if it were a separate entity or as if she were in space. I gave her a final push, and everything ended. She screamed again, but this time it was like a fly buzzing, such a feeble noise coming from a big goose! I heard my mother. I did not realize she was here. Was she here all along? She never knew when to show up and when to fade into her damn dominion.

She hit her head to that pointless granite. The blood had already started to spread on the grass. Her eyes were still alive, but their move was somehow blocked. I was not trembling anymore, I felt relief wandering around my body. It was amazing. There were ants crawling around my popsicle stick. The ice melted altogether but the stick was covered in blood. There was an uncanny peace in this scene. I understood at that moment that the noon strikes twice, and mine was just beginning.

“What have you done Valeria, what have you done?” My mother whispered with a ghastly look on her face.