Supernova

I told her one day, i told her that one day i will tell her how i truly feel, and one day I will, and that day i actually did...

What started out as a simple conversation turned into a real sticky situation, and me just thinking on the time that im facing makes me wanna smile, she's an insane girl, I fell for her mind, words and eyes ! I spent my time decoding her thoughts about the world, her surroundings and me, I studied her or at least I tried... She has her life written down by a very black painful ink that was engraved all over her sweet little heart of hers, that heart, oh that heart! Its the book of secrets, it holds her deepest fears and no one can understand its language no matter how hard they try. Now it feels like im holding that book in my own hands, its so fragile to the point where sometimes I tend to scratch one of its papers by mistake, it hurts her, I don't want that she's my whole life, and so I keep trying and I open the book and I read it over and over again but in no vain I just cant understand and ill never quit I want all of her I want her heart. This is when I realized that this is something else but I dont quite understand it. Every time she's away, I die, she's everything I seem to think about, she blew me away. I saw her today I was waiting and trying to pass time like she told me to, so I went to see my cousin till she comes to me and yes, finally I saw her, thats when I imprinted a hugg on her, thats where I rest my heart and mind, thats when im safe and at peace... No day is like any other with her, the way she gets mad at me is just adorable, her failed attempt at trying to hit is so cute! I adore her at her lowest, I adore her madness I adore each breath she takes. We were playing like always we were going crazy over each other, I was kissing her ear and licking it while telling her the sweetest that she could hear, like how much I miss her and how crazy i am over her, she likes it I know so I let her enjoy it the most, thats when she goes crazy for a second and immediately bites me on my chin, its like a shock of electricity that hit me so hard and im on fire, I want her, I want her so bad I turn her face around and I kiss her.... Time, earth, space, the whole world just stopped at that one moment for me, for her, we became one right there on her bed, and I felt every single beat of her heart! That beating is music to my ears and I sang and kept singing I couldn't stop and I hoped she wouldn't force me to stop and there I realized that all along I was reading her the wrong way, instead of reading the lines why not read between the lines?

I understood her, i did. Actually no one ever did quite like me. But i guess we all know how the story goes from here right? Guess it is true when they say " nothing lasts forever".

Ever heard of a supernova? Maybe you did, well, in case you didn't it's actually a phenomenon its the death of a star. When it is empty of fuel the star just burst into this beautiful light leaving a massive breath taking nebula behind. I brought this up because what you are about to read is a full description on how it actually happened, the supernova, how it happened or actually how it feels like to have a supernova? Yes, each one of us experienced one or about to. After all we are made of star dust no? I can assure you though that no physicist can describe it not with scientific words nore pictures! You need to experience it you need to have a supernova heartbreak! 

I couldnt take It for any longer, this feeling of depression is suffocating me.. im suffocating ! It seems that my endless screams and words of pain are there to never be heard, I hit rock bottom on all levels, since it all started I had butterflies in my stomach, my heart was racing and I could not believe what was happening... I knew it was wrong but somehow I could not care I let it in, but whats worse than someone snatching your heart right out of your chest with no further warning... nothing? Yeah I kind of guessed that already.

It feels like im dead, although death is quite, and peaceful and im nowhere near that, im dead in the sense of agony and pain, it got to a point where I have become numb and senseless, I cant feel her anymore, she's gone, she did not leave me, but she's gone. I feel like a kid trapped in a car seat while crying and his mother wont reach out for him, it hurts, its killing me slowly. She said time, time is what we need, all I am getting is more bruises each minute passing by. I asked why, i am curious creature by nature, i always ask why i love to know the answers! And it is that one thing that would send me to peace and at ease that she could not give me... I was weak, i was very weak so i stayed there, it took me two years building this house i have made for the two hearts of mine, only for me to realize that i have built a fucking WALL, a layered wall filled with mold and scratches all over its layers... Thats where i realized that i had to leave, thats when i saw the light of this star dimming bit by bit, scattered peace by peace, lonely, in deep sleep... 

There are three words missing from this story, its a romantic story after all it should have the most important three words, but i decided not to include them in my story, but what about your supernova? The decision is all yours.