Either Way, I'm Going to Die

“Okay, here’s the thing. If you choose the plan in this hand, then I will die, and if you choose the plan in this hand, then we will die,” Nathaniel said as he held his hands behind his back; he didn’t indicate which hand made what decision. “If I die, there’s no chance that you’ll make it out, but if we die, then we’ve saved the world. Choose carefully.”

“I choose this hand,” Naomi pointed at Nathaniel’s left arm without hesitation.

“Did you not…? Okay, either way, I’m going to die, so can you at least show some remorse?” Nathaniel was close to tears.

“If you’re going to die regardless, then does it matter? If you die, then I’ll make a memorial for you, and if we both die, then we can both die saving the world together. I don’t care if I live or die,” Naomi shrugged. “It’s your fault we’re in the middle of this, anyway.”

“Do you even love me?” Nathaniel questioned.

“I guess,” Naomi shot Nathaniel a half-assed smile.

Nathaniel, depleted, stood next to Naomi. In front of them stood ranks of undead soldiers, unarmed. Nathaniel tightened his grip on his sword, and Naomi brushed dust off of her laser gun. He looked at her. Naomi looked bored out of her mind. Nathaniel frowned. Here he was, scared out of his goddamn mind, and Naomi looked as if she were about to lay down on the ground and take a nap. He prayed to God that she didn’t do that, otherwise he would die in a heartbeat. Either way, he knew he was going to die, but he wanted to prolong his death as much as possible.

Dust whirled around their feet as the wind started to pick up. Nathaniel felt the rays of the hot sun pelt down on his shoulders. He felt as if he were in the middle of a Western film— well, Western/Science Fiction film since there were almost lifeless, yet hungry, undead soldiers in front of him. No, wait, it was a Western/Science Fiction/Historical film that he was in— zombie soldiers… Is it historical if he didn’t know what period of time they were in? You know what, he was in an action movie. Plain and simple. That didn’t feel right though since he was holding a sword. What kind of action movie had a post-apocalyptic setting with undead zombies wearing army uniforms, a woman with a laser gun, a man with a sword that looks like it came right out of a pirate ship, surrounded by the sweltering heat in a desert? Hold on, maybe if he could just see the flags on the uniform—

“I can literally hear your thoughts,” Naomi rolled her eyes as she held her gun against her shoulder. “Just choose a side, annihilate the freaking zombies, and let’s just win this shit.”

“It’s not that simple, Naomi. There are so many factors to consider, like where would be a good break point to start with and then go through and kill all—” Nathaniel was interrupted by the sound of Naomi shooting lasers into the middle of the zombie pack.

“There, that’s your break point,” Naomi pointed out. “Is that okay with you?”

“Yes, thank you,” Nathaniel muttered to himself as Naomi ran headlong into the pack of undead soldiers.

Nathaniel stood and watched as Naomi started to assassinate the zombies one by one. She looked so majestic with her dark hair swinging side to side as she avoided the sudden lunges of zombies near her. Her caramel skin glistened with shiny droplets of sweat that trickled down her exposed arms. Despite the fact that she was covered in dirt and dust, she looked absolutely radiant. Nathaniel felt himself falling in love with her all over again as he, now, crouched behind a stray boulder cemented into the ground.

“What are you waiting for?” Naomi hollered for him. “Come help me!”

“I told you I was going to die!” Nathaniel yelled back. “If I come to help you, you could die too!”

“We’re a team! Just come help me!” Naomi shot a laser Nathaniel’s way; luckily, Nathaniel was able to dodge it in time, but part of his hair was singed as the laser brushed past the side of his head.

“First of all,” Nathaniel started as he stood up, “Ow! Second of all… yes, honey.”

Nathaniel sulked as he walked slowly over to the battlefield. Naomi was surrounded by enemies, and Nathaniel no longer had an entry for him to go into the field and help his beloved. He looked around. He had to find the best point of entry to ensure victory not only for himself, but for all of mankind— or womankind. He’s not one to discriminate.

No matter how hard he looked, Nathaniel couldn’t find a best entry point that suited his liking. If he went to the far left, he’d be overrun by zombies. If he went straight through the middle to where Naomi was, he risked accidentally knocking her right into a hoard of zombies. If he went to the right, well, that was pretty much instant death because he could see a rather large zombie wading through the crowd of zombies.

“I swear to God, if you don’t get over here right now, I’m going to beat your ass so hard that you’re going to wish you died by zombie,” Naomi screamed at him as she shot lasers all over the place.

“On my way!” Nathaniel, alarmed by the tone of her voice, immediately ran forward.

He closed his eyes and charged towards the swarming pack of zombies in  front of him. He swung his sword around violently and haphazardly. He managed to behead some undead soldiers successfully, however, as his eyes were still closed, he ran right up to Naomi and also beheaded her. In that same moment, one of Naomi’s lasers hit him, and they both ended up dying right in the middle of the zombie pack.

“Damnit, Nathaniel!” Naomi slammed her hands down on the console in front of her. “I asked you to help me beat the zombies, not help me commit double homicide!”

“My left arm was both of us dying,” Nathaniel tried to justify his position.

“You said we would win the game if we both died,” Naomi slapped his shoulder lightly.

Nathaniel laughed and apologized to his girlfriend by giving her a hug. Naomi huffed angrily into his chest before wrapping her hands around him.

The two of them were in the arcade at their local mall. Naomi wanted to try the new zombie game that the arcade installed. Nathaniel sucked at video games, but Naomi forced him to play anyway— at least she didn’t give him the option of playing or not playing.

“Do you want to play again?” Nathaniel asked her.

“Hell no. I’ll play again with one of my gamer friends later,” Naomi shook her head.

“Okay, thank god,” Nathaniel laughed. “How about food?”

“Sure! Food court or restaurant?” Naomi stood up and held her boyfriend’s hand.

Naomi could see the gears rotating in Nathaniel’s head as he stood. The sound of her voice was drowned out by Nathaniel’s internal turmoil. On one hand, eating at the food court would be cheaper and easier to go to, but on the other hand, he like the intimacy of eating in a nice restaurant. There was a new place that just opened up down the street, so maybe they could go there, but he also wanted to check out the new menu at their normal spot. However, the food at the food court would be faster to get, and he was getting a little hungry, but he was also wearing nice clothes, so maybe the restaurant would be better; plus, Naomi also dressed up, and he was sure that she would want to show off her outfit not in a food court.

“Nathaniel, baby,” Naomi grabbed his face and pulled him down to make eye contact with her. “Forget I asked. I’ll make the decision.”

“Thank you,” Nathaniel blubbered out; Naomi was squishing his cheeks into his lips, so he couldn’t talk properly.

“Let’s go,” Naomi smiled at him and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek before holding his hand and leading him out of the arcade.