8 comments

Adventure Fantasy

Game start



You are in a car. Look at car. It is a sedan, quite clean. There's an air freshener shaped like a pine tree hanging from the rear-view mirror. Take air freshener. You take air freshener. Smell air freshener. It smells like pine trees.



Turn on radio. You turn on the radio and fiddle through the stations. There's country, rock, pop, and the weather. Listen to the weather. The forecaster says its going to be sunny.



Roll down window. You roll down window. Look out window. It's not sunny. There's huge clouds amassed over a large mansion. Look at mansion. It's big, and menacing, and has a big sign that says Keep Out.



Look at self. You are a tall, well groomed, decently handsome fellow. You are wearing sunglasses and a faded plaid suit with bulging pockets. Check pockets. Inside is a ring of keys, a safety pin, a paper clip, a lighter, a knife, some birthday candles, gum, a pine tree shaped air freshener, and a crumpled letter. Read letter.



The secret to another world and the power you seek lies in the Whispering Mansion. Come and find them. I'll be waiting.



Get out of car. You open the door and step out onto the ground. It begins to rain. Take shelter under the porch. What porch? Take shelter under the porch of the mansion. There is no porch. Knock on door. It's too far away. Go to door of mansion. You walk to mansion door. Knock on door. You knock and no one answers. Open door. It's locked. Use ring of keys on door. They don't fit. Use paper clip on door. After fiddling with it for a bit, you pick the lock. Open door. You open the door. Enter mansion.



You are inside the mansion. Look around. There are dozens of broken chairs and glass on the floor and a staircase going up and a staircase going down. Look at glass. It's broken and very sharp looking. Pick up glass. You pick up a piece of glass and cut yourself. Suck finger. You suck on your thumb like a baby. Go upstairs.



You are upstairs. Look around. There is a hallway with six doors and a vase on a table at the end. Walk to vase. You walk to vase. Look at vase. It appears empty. Look inside vase. There is a key at the bottom of the vase. Pick up key. You pick up key. Look at key. It's a regular key except it says 'Special' in marker on the top. Look at doors. They are made of wood. Open door. Which one? Open first door on left. It's locked. Use paper clip. After fiddling with it for a bit, you pick the lock.



Your paper clip breaks.



Open door. You open the door. Go inside.



You are inside the room. Look around. It is full of bookshelves and has an easy chair by a fireplace. There is a chest in the corner with a big padlock. Use special key on padlock. It doesn't fit. Use key ring on padlock. They don't fit. Sigh with frustration. Unknown command. Hit walls. Unknown command. Read books. Which one? Look at books. They are books on cartography. There is something wedged between two of them. Look at something. Not specific enough. Look at the something wedged between two of the cartography books in the room full of bookshelves. You pick up something wedged between two of the cartography books in the room full of bookshelves. Look at something wedged between two of the cartography books in the room full of bookshelves. Can't. It's no longer wedged there. Look at something that was wedged between two of the cartography books in the room full of bookshelves but is now picked up. It's a map. What's on the map? It shows the way through a forest in the Magical Land of Zilder. Leave room.



You are in the hallway. Open first door on the right. You open first door on right. Enter room.



You are inside the room. Look around. There is a man staring at you from the corner. Look at man. He is hunched over with age, but there is a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He smiles at you. Talk to man.



"Hello, seeker."



Say, "Hello."



He nods.



Say, "Please tell me about this house."



"It is a very dangerous house with a long history."



Say, "Dangerous?"



He nods.



Say, "Where is the secret you wrote about in your letter?"



"You are so close to the secrets hidden here, and yet it may take you years to find them."



Say, "Do you know the secrets?"



"Perhaps."



Say, "Is there any help you can give me?"



"I cannot help you."



Say, "Why did you write me then?"



"Oh, the letter! I'm very interested in you, seeker."



Stop talking to man. Look around room. The man is staring at you, expectantly. Look at walls. The man crouches against one of the walls in the room. Look at ceiling. The man is not sitting on the ceiling. Leave room.



You are in the hallway. Quickly try all the other doors to see if they are locked and try special key and ring of keys on them if they are. Unknown command. Go downstairs.



You are in the front room. Go outside. The door bars your way. Open door. It's locked. Go downstairs.



You are in the cellar. Look around. It's so dark you can't see anything.



Check pockets. Inside is a ring of keys, a safety pin, a lighter, a knife, some birthday candles, gum, a pine tree shaped air freshener, a crumpled letter, a shard of glass with blood on it, a special key, the map to Zilder, and a broken paper clip.



Use lighter on birthday candle. You light up a pink birthday candle and hold it into the gloom. Immediately, a breath of air blows it out. Use lighter on birthday candle. You light up a blue birthday candle and hold it into the gloom. Immediately, a breath of air blows it out. Go upstairs.



You turn around to see the man standing there in the half-light.



"I have something for you. Do you want it?"



Say, "No."



"Don't you trust me, seeker?"



Say, "No."



"I'll be upstairs when you change your mind."



You are in the front room. Go upstairs. Open end door on the right. You open end door on the right. Enter room.



You are inside the room. Talk to man.



"Hello. Do you need help?"



Say, "Give me something."



"Ah, you have come for my gift. Here it is."



He holds out a flashlight.



Go outside.



"Aren't you going to take my gift?"



Say, "Yes."



He holds out a flashlight. Take flashlight from man. You take the flashlight from the man. Go outside.



You are in the hallway. Go downstairs.



You are in the front room. Go downstairs.



You are in the cellar. Use flashlight.



You turn on the flashlight and shine it into the gloom. There is something at the back of the cellar.



Go to back of cellar.



As you take a step into the cellar, the house begins to shake and creak. You see a blur of movement out of the corner of your eye. You die.



Start over?


June 27, 2020 01:19

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8 comments

XANDER DMER
13:50 Jan 27, 2021

Hey Hamadryad 77, Great Story Man! Can you read my stories when you have time? Comment Share, Like :)

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Roger Scypion
06:01 Feb 12, 2023

Very good POV story, engaging. Will there be more to this one...a sequel?

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Hamadryad 77
03:40 Feb 13, 2023

Thanks very much, Roger. Well, at the time of writing it I was very interested in trying a similar style again, though probably not the same story. However, I haven't really considered it since. It's really cool that you think it would be interesting enough to have a sequel!

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Laura Chase
12:26 Jul 31, 2020

I agree with Corey that this feels very video game -esque. I don't have a ton of experience with 2nd POV both with writing and reading. It was difficult for me to submerge myself in it until I found a rhythm. My favorite part gave the protagonist a sense of character: "Sigh with frustration. Unknown command. Hit walls. Unknown command."

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Hamadryad 77
01:33 Aug 06, 2020

Sorry for the late reply. Thank you for commenting, Laura! I'm happy that I was successful in giving both of you the game vibe. I don't have much experience with second person either. As far as the immersion, I suppose I wasn't trying to immerse the reader in the same way a regular story would. The reader doesn't learn much about the main character because it's mainly supposed to be someone playing a game, and a gamer can't insert a lot of their personality into the programming. What's only usually evident is their choices. But it's great yo...

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Corey Melin
16:51 Jul 19, 2020

Felt like I was playing a video game or "Choose your adventure" books I read years ago. Very well done. Kept you reading.

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Hamadryad 77
17:06 Jul 19, 2020

YES! Thank you! I had so much fun writing this. When I saw the prompt about second person, it made me think of these old old games, basically the first games on computer. They're called 'text games' because the programmers couldn't do any visuals at the time. They went a lot like how my story does. They're super interesting, totally different from what we're used to now. It's kinda like reading a book how you have to visualize things yourself, but first there's a lot of darkness. As you use the command to look around, you begin to have a sma...

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Corey Melin
17:17 Jul 19, 2020

Never played the text games but read books similar to the game. Or like playing Dungeons and Dragons. An awesome way to use your imagination.

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