Birdwatching by night

It was the evening of September 14th when I saw it. Ironically, our birdwatching group had just finished for the night. We had spotted a few arctic terns and considered it a successful outing. I’d said my goodbyes and made plans to meet up the following week, and was then driving home through a narrow stretch of road beside the woodland. I saw it flying from a distance and stopped the car to see what it was. It was so large that at first I thought it was a raven. It landed on a tree not far from me and as it settled itself I got a better look with my binoculars. I saw the hooked beak and patch of white, and was amazed to realise this was a white-tailed eagle.

“Oh wow,” I said aloud to myself. I opened the car door and stepped towards the tree where he was perched, keeping my footsteps light to avoid startling him. He was as still as a statue, his eyes fixed on me. I edged closer praying I would be able to get a picture.

The first strange thing I noticed was how cold the weather had become. It had been a placid evening and we were all in t-shirts. The chill surprised me and I crossed my arms to get some warmth. The air was crisp and harsh to breathe in, and as I let my breath out a misty cloud of condensation appeared. 

This would not put me off getting a closer look at the eagle, however. A white-tailed eagle is generally found in Russia and is almost never seen in Ireland. In all my years of birdwatching I had never seen one before. 

“Stay there.... Don’t move.” I slowed my approach and reached for my phone. It was colder and colder as I got closer to him. I stopped walking and noticed the second strange thing, there were no sounds in the forest. This place should have been alive with birdsong and creatures rustling the leaves, or even a stray car in the distance. Now that I’d noticed it, the silence pressed down on me. I felt like I’d crossed some invisible threshold into a vacuum. The world was wrong, too still and too quiet.

The eagle continued to stare at me. I lowered my hands and held his gaze. My body was shivering now. My instincts were alert and telling me not to get any closer. Why was this bird here? His stare was intense and I felt as if he wanted something from me. 

I took a step back. As I did so, it was like a spell was broken. The eagle lept from the branch and flew through the air. The sound of the branch bending and snapping back was so loud after the silence that I shrieked in alarm. 

I ran to my car and scrambled inside. I sat for a moment, letting the chill melt out of me. I turned on the radio to distract myself. After gathering myself, I took out my phone again and opened up my contacts. I called my friend Peter, a fellow birdwatcher and the unofficial leader of our group.

“Hello?”

“Hi Peter, it’s me, Abby. You’ll never believe this. I just saw a white-tailed eagle.”

“Ah! Are you certain?”

“Yes I think so. It was beautiful. I was so stunned that I… well I sort of let it get away without taking a picture.”

“Where did you see it?”

“On the drive through Loughrow Park. Just perched on a branch.”

“We’ll have to have a meet up tomorrow, see if he’s still hanging around here.”

Later that night Peter sent out an email to our group telling them about my find and inviting us out to spot the eagle the next day. I spent some time online researching. The white-tailed eagle had been extinct in Ireland for many years but recently they had been reintroduced. There were as many as ten pairs living here now. None had been spotted in Loughrow Park, which made me wonder if this one had migrated here from elsewhere.

A small but excited crowd of us gathered the next evening. Peter and I and a few others sat on some benches just inside the entrance of the park, waiting for any other members to join. 

“I actually saw him from the road alongside here,” I told the group. “But he flew inwards. He could well be still here.”

I was too embarrassed to tell everyone about my feelings of unease. While I was hoping to see him again, I was thankful that this time there was a group with me.

Peter opened out his map of the park. “Alright, Abby tells me she saw the eagle in this area over here to our right. We’ll head that way and continue in a loop. Keep your eyes peeled.”

We started walking. There was less chatter than usual, everyone was busy concentrating on the trees, waiting with anticipation for the eagle to appear. I was searching the treetops when a man I didn’t recognise fell in step with me.

“Hi there,” the man spoke timidly. “I’m Gary.”

“Nice to meet you Gary, I’m Abby. Are you a new member?”

Gary’s face flushed and his shoulders tensed. “Oh, um, I guess so. I’m not really a birdwatcher.”

He was short and round and had the ruddy face of a farmer. He had red, pudgy fingers that were restless; first he fiddled with his collar, then he took off his glasses and polished them on his shirt. 

“I wanted to ask you about the eagle. I think I saw it too.”

“Really? When?”

“It was a couple of days ago. I didn’t know what kind of bird it was. Sure, I don’t know much about birds. I’ve been coming back since then, but haven’t seen him.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes were furtive, taking quick glances at me, but dropping again as soon as he caught my gaze.

“How did you feel when you saw him?” he asked, his voice low.

I looked around to make sure none of the others were listening. “It was a bit weird to be honest. I got very cold and like… he was watching me.” I didn’t know what to say. I felt silly. He was nodding his head and his eyes were glazed over as if he was deep in thought.

“That’s just like me. The temperature dropped way down, it was freezing all of a sudden. And he was looking at me. It was like he knew me.”

The others in our group had found a nest of robins and had stopped to investigate it. Gary stepped a little closer to me.

“But you felt strange, right? Like it wasn’t a normal bird. Like it was something else.”

His voice had a new intensity. I took a step back from him, reluctant to talk about it too much. “It was strange. I don’t know, I guess I was surprised to see him.”

“I think maybe he is something else. We both felt it when we saw it. Do you believe in ghosts?”

“Um… I’m sort of agnostic about that.”

“The bird appeared to me on the anniversary of my father’s death. Was yesterday an anniversary of a death in your family?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What if… I mean this is crazy but, I think maybe my father is trying to contact me. I need to find that eagle again to know for sure. Can we stick together until we find it?”

He had a determination about him. I was unnerved by his idea, if this eagle really was a ghost I didn’t get the sense that he was dropping by to say hi. Our group meandered further into the park. Everyone continued watching the trees, but with less enthusiasm. Hope of spotting the eagle was ebbing away. As the light faded, we made our way around towards the park entrance. Peter gathered us all together.

“Well guys, we had a very enjoyable day. Sorry to say no eagles tonight. But everyone keep an eye out for the rest of the week. Do let us know if anyone spots him!”

We all said goodnight and Gary and I kept together as we watched the others return to their cars.

“We probably won’t spot him once it gets very dark,” I said.

“I think we will. He was scared off by the crowd. He only trusts the two of us.”

He turned and marched back into the woods. He was more assertive now that the group was gone. His eyes were keener, like he was hunting. I shuffled after him, feeling like a kid following a tenacious scout leader. 

We were walking deeper into the woodland than before, off the paved footpath onto a narrow trail. There were no other people around and the light was dimming quickly. We trudged through piles of leaves, twigs crunched beneath our feet.

Gary stops. “He’s here.”

I looked around. I couldn’t see the eagle and didn’t  get a sense of any sort of presence. He stood for a moment, then turned to his left. 

“He’s this way.”

He took off, rushing from the trail and through the trees. 

“Wait, Gary! We’re supposed to stick together.” I followed at a slower pace. The woods were thicker here. Long, gnarled branches scrapped at my arms and legs. Gary got well ahead and I lost sight of him. I tried calling out to him.

“Did you find him?”

There was no response. I edged through the forest, stepping over roots and rocks, weaving around knots of trees. I had to walk carefully, the light had faded enough to mess with my depth perception. 

“Gary. Gary!” 

The air cooled suddenly and I wrapped my coat closer around myself. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach and my breathing quickened. I saw the mists of condensation in my breath again. The wind had stopped and it was deathly quiet.

“No...no… I should go. I should go.” 

I held on to the trunks of the trees as I moved deeper in. My eyes roved the woodland frantically, looking for any sign of Gary or the eagle. I was too scared to call out. I stood still for a moment, willing my mind to relax.

Ahead of me, I heard the sound of a branch bending and snapping. A wall of trees surrounded me and I couldn’t see where the noise came from. I heard another creak of a branch, this time over to my right. Then another, ahead of me again, but moving closer. My heart beat faster and faster. I stood frozen to the spot, praying that whatever it was wouldn’t hurt me. I couldn’t take the tension anymore, I needed to do something. 

“Gary!”

I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone and forced my eyes to look at the screen. I turned on the torch light, casting long shadows around me. I took tiny steps forward, trying to block out the sounds of the creaking above me.

I saw a figure ahead, walking towards me. I was suspended in time, too scared to move or to speak. Once the figure got closer and I could see it was Gary, I breathed a sigh of relief. He was ambling towards me in fits and starts, his footsteps haphazard, as if he was disorientated. 

“Are you alright?” I called out to him.

I eased myself closer to him. His face was paler than before and his skin was clammy. He looked up at me, his eyes bright with fear.

“We need to go.” His voice was hoarse. He continued plodding, leaning his hands on the trees as he walked. His breathing was laboured.

“What happened?”

He seemed to ignore me for a while. “There was… a woman.” He took in big gulps of air. “She had long hair. And her mouth… her mouth was…” 

He brought his hands to his head and folded down to his chest. I put my hand on his arm, hoping that might soothe him a little. He was like a child now, gasping and whimpering to himself. I kept rubbing his arm, out of sheer uselessness and embarrassment. I looked around, hoping for an idea on how to handle this. The creaking branches had stopped and it was silent again. I felt the stare of the eagle on me. 

“Who’s there?” I said to the darkness.

The heavy silence continued, then a voice started whispering. I couldn’t make it out at first. Then it got louder. It was my own voice, echoing back on us. 

“Who’s there? There. There. Who? Who’s there?” 

It got clearer and clearer. Gary let out a low moan beside me.

“Do you hear that?”

I nodded my head. My hands clutched at his shoulder as the voice kept rising.

“There. There. Who’s there?”

“Stop it!” Gary called out. The voice ceased. The only sound was his breathing. “I won’t tell her. I won’t tell anyone. Please let us go. Let us go.”

There was nothing for a moment. The cold was still ever present. I pulled his elbow.

“Let’s try to walk again. Come on.”

We stepped back out of the woodland. No voices followed us, but the heavy silence bore down on us, almost to the car park. Stepping out of the park was like walking into a warm house. No more cold, no ominous silence.

Gary was still pale, but his breathing had evened out. His head was drooped low and he continued walking towards his car without speaking to me.

“Wait, let me give you a lift home. You shouldn’t be driving after a shock like that. Whatever it was.”

He shook his head, keeping his eyes on the ground. “No, no, I need to go.”

He climbed in and started his car. I stood awkwardly, thinking he would drive off without any word of goodbye. He sat a moment and then scrolled down his window. His hands were clinging tightly to the steering wheel. His eyes looked sad.

“I don’t think you’ll see the eagle again. It wasn’t after you. Thank you for coming with me. Goodbye.”

He drove out to the road, turning in the direction away from the village. I stood in the empty car park and watched him go, until his lights disappeared behind the woodland’s edge. 

It was a week before I went back into the park. I was afraid to step inside the gates without Peter or the others with me. My nerves were on edge the whole time. Any sudden noise made me jump out of my skin. The group was still hopeful of getting a glance at the eagle. I wondered if any of us would be the next one to spot him.