May The Words Be With You!

(Come with us,” two burly men in gray suits say, grabbing you by the arm and handcuffing you. “You know what you did.” But you have no idea.)

When those brutes assaulted you, you really had no idea at all what was going on!   

First panic,  the panic of being roughly handled!  The panic of the certainty in their voice that this was real!  They said, “You know what you did!”   But in truth, I knew nothing!  But the force was very real,  this was no game,  this felt like serious business.

And then the handcuffs!   Oh!  Wow!   It was terrible, the way the metal dug into my wrists.  My arms behind my back,  being shoved along!   The way they ignored my questions,  my demands to see some credentials.  The demands for charges or explanation!   The hope for assistance!

A black hood was thrown over my head and I was stuffed into a vehicle.  A vehicle that sped off at high speed!   This was terrifying!

~~~~~

That was the beginning of my ordeal.   Now I sit on some kind of uncomfortable stool, I feel like I am on a raised platform.  Six steps up I had counted,  so I felt like I was on display or at a tribunal or gallows!

Is this someone’s idea of a joke?  I sure as hell do NOT find it funny!

Around me I can hear bits and pieces of muffled conversation.  I’m trying to get a feel for what this is or where I am!

~~~~~

A female voice, nasal and patronizing,  “You have an amazing writing style, Evelyn. And how picturesque!”

A male voice full of the roughness of years of cigarettes,  “What a brilliantly detailed story!!”

Another male voice, this one sounding classically educated,  “The very last line (so unbelievably powerful). You had me engrossed from beginning to end. This is a really powerful story!”

And then  this voice is gender nonspecific,  “which is already symbolic of fluid movement and physical transition--is a damn near genius idea on your part as a writer. “

~~~~~

Wait a second,  I remember reading that last line somewhere and thinking what in the hell does that really mean?   This is so strange.   What could I have done to warrant this?   What law could I have broken?  What policy or infraction against society could I have abused or ignored to create this “thing”,  whatever it is?

~~~~~

And now shuffling of feet,  as though someone has just joined the group.  The muffled conversations all stop and a heavy quiet descends on the proceedings.  A cough, a clearing of the throat,  nervous habits humans have that are unconscious or involuntary but usually indicative of discomfort.

And now the moderator (?) begins.   

“The charges that are being brought against this person are serious and the circumstances grave.”

“We cannot,  no we will not, allow or tolerate, anyone to besmirch our reputation or lessen the value of our work.”

“Anyone trying to use our reputation and the weight of our skill, knowledge and talent to mislead the world for their own twisted ends  will suffer consequences and banishment!”

The black hood WILL remain in place as anonymity has always been part of our group,  as we all,  all of us here,  use a pseudonym for our work!   

And so let us begin!

This “person” has had the audacity to join our ranks and attempt to join in our activities but I clearly state here and now, the “person” is a charlatan, a phony and dwells in massive wishful thinking!  In short,  this person is a dreaded “Wannabe”!

And now I will address the accused and in due course, the accused may if it has courage and is sincere, answer the charges!

P.Jean:

Is it true that you joined this celebrated group because you consider yourself a writer?   

And going further,  that you did post and publish fifty stories as of this date, thus  flooding our readers with words that flow from you like a tsunami,  even after seeing the lukewarm response of a few kind souls?  

Is it also true that you have no aspirations except to entertain yourself mainly, and one or two others who may have a taste for drivel?   You do not have a life’s calling?   The desire for fame and glory?   You have no interest in making a fortune or the acquisition of fame.   

P.Jean,  you are here before us today to answer for this sham!   This abuse of our organization of professional writers who offer assistance ,  yes you abuse our good nature!

P.Jean,  do you wish to speak?

~~~~~

P.Jean:

Of course I wish to speak!!

I declared on the very first day that I darkened your doorstep,  that I was unsure if I would fit in with your illustrious group.   I, of course,  had no information if your group was really illustrious or was it just a gathering of hopefuls like myself!

My profile clearly states:     I have words I want to share.  I am a beginner at writing but experienced at a bit of life.  I am a realist but delight in bright innocent things.     I hope not to make a fool of myself!

As it turns out,  I feel that your “illustrious “ group falls far short of what it “could” be, and/or even what the founders hoped it might be.  

I joined with the hopes of “real” critique.  Words soft enough but definite enough to help me, in other words,  constructive criticism!   But the pablum that I am offered is most often….

“Good job!   That is in reference to my story….and then another couple dozen words asking…..now I have commented,  will you go out and read my stories and leave me comments?”    This is not a critique but rather a solicitation!

And so,  in conclusion,  I feel we both should be disappointed in our respective performance.   BUT, the difference being,  I have no burly guys in grey suits charging about handcuffing you ….whoever you are … and I have no idea what my punishment will be for being so forthcoming!

I am handcuffed, and hooded,  can I expect the executioner to arrive with his Executioner’s Axe and relieve me of my head, where my stories live?   Or of my fingers that hold my writing pen?   What is the penalty for impersonating a writer?

~~~~~

Silence has fallen over the assembly….I’m not sure how many are really assembled as I am still hooded!  

~~~~~

This meeting will be concluded in 05 days 08hours 09 mins 56 secs!

The seconds are being counted down.

If you are found to be guilty of impersonation of a writer,  our collective membership will hit the delete button at exactly the same moment ….

And you...P.Jean will cease to exist as a writer!

~~~~~

May the words be with you!