Gravitational Meow.

Calis Dafelis, a female laboratory animal science researcher, loved felines and was currently studying the behavior and abilities of her favorite suborder of animals in California. She was particularly interested in the myth that cats always fall on their feet and land straight. One day, after a long day of research, Calis experienced an earthquake and found a strange black and yellow cat with a fur marking that looked like a spiraling cinnamon roll. The cat seemed to be a stray and led Calis to a hole in the ground, which they entered. The hole closed behind them, and everything turned pitch black. Suddenly, the stray cat transformed into a full-grown 4-meter-long and 600-kilogram tiger, and it spoke.

"Miss, do not scream, we gotta move now! Or else Mr. grumpy will grump again and maybe destroy the surface world" the tiger suddenly spoke.

"Excu... Exc... E... Excuse me what?" bewilderedly stuttered. 

Calis fainted.

When Calis woke up, she found herself fast traveling at impossible speeds through maze-like ancient roads and tunnels from what looked like a far-gone civilization. She noticed that the structures had many feline designs, and ancient men and women were praising some big black cat. After this, the tiger spoke again, apologizing for the rough way of traveling and saying they needed her help. 

"Hello again miss. Sorry for this rough way of traveling but we need to make haste" said the tiger. 

"Ok. Enough. I accept this. I am not dreaming and I haven't smacked my head. You are talking. Right?!" screamed Calis.

"Aren't you an animal scientist? You should be able to discern intelligent speech patterns right?" smirked and said the tiger.

"Ok. I am going back to be fainted over your super comfortable and beautiful fur again, you sassy super-developed kitty cat" grunted Calis.

"Please don't. We need your help miss" said the tiger. 

"My help? On what?! Look I love cats to death but I am more confused than a hypnotist seeing your cinnamon-patterned fur" said Calis confused.

"I will explain everything in detail when we arrive. You wouldn't believe me even if I told you now" exhaustedly said the tiger.

Calis was confused but accepted what was happening, and the tiger promised to explain everything in detail when they arrived.

After two minutes of silence, they arrived at a temple-like place surrounded by lava and beautiful gems, with giant statues of all forms of felines inside giant spheres. Calis was stunned and wondered if she had fainted again and hit her head harder this time or if they were at the center of the earth. 

"Did I faint again and hit my head harder this time? Or are we where I think are? A.K.A., at the center of the earth?" stunned said Calis.

The big tiger-like feline spoke. 

"The latter, my feint-prone hard-headed smart girl" laughingly said the tiger. 

Calis was about to lose it.

Calis was torn between wanting to embrace the tiger for his friendly sassiness and feeling the urge to smack him for his cheekiness. However, as she took in her surroundings, she was struck by the strangest sight of all the bizarre events that had already taken place that day. Before her, stood a colossal creature, resembling a tiger, with fur as black as Vanta - the same color as a black hole - and a grumpy expression etched onto its face. The creature sat lazily on its haunches, nonchalantly scratching its balls with its enormous paw. The sheer absurdity of the scene left Calis momentarily speechless.

"Okay, I'm just going to jump in the lava and wake up," said Calis.

"Stop! You'll wake up in heaven, not your bed," replied the tiger.

"Then go get me from the pearly gates if you need me because enough is enough. My brain can't process what's going on anymore, besides wanting to play and hug with you and that grumpy ball of fluff and sour puss," Calis said with a hint of frustration.

"That's what we want," Kivuli said, determined to explain what was happening.

"Excuse me? What?" Calis asked, bewildered.

"My apologies, miss. My name is Kivuli Mwanga, and that ill-tempered ball scratcher over there is my brother, Sayari Syeusi. We are the guardians of the earth and make sure the planet still has a gravitational field in the solar system," Kivuli explained.

"Lava it is," Calis muttered.

"Would you stop that? I am serious here. Look, Calis, we know you because we've been watching you. You've been studying how cats always land on their feet. The reason is simple - cats produce their gravitational field and can land with ease on most surfaces," Kivuli continued.

"So you're telling me that cats have the natural ability to manipulate gravity? You're making me question if I ate some bad salmon yesterday," Calis said, still unsure.

"It goes beyond that. You see all these statues with tiger-like creatures inside? Don't these structures look familiar?" Kivuli asked.

Calis examined the statues carefully and then realized what they represented. "Is...this a representation of the solar system?" she asked.

"Nailed it. Every planet's core has a cat inside making sure that the mass and the gravity field of the planet don't go haywire regarding their position to the sun," Kivuli confirmed, hoping to put Calis's doubts to rest.

"But why did you bring me here?" Calis asked, puzzled.

"Well, you see, Sayari has become grumpy because he's bored out of his mind and needs someone to play with and feed him. And if he continues to be this grumpy, he will cause earthquakes and destroy the planet with his gravitational mood swings," Kivuli explained.

Calis raised her eyebrows skeptically. "So, let me get this straight. You're telling me that there are cats inside planets, controlling gravity and that you need me to play with your grumpy brother to prevent him from causing earthquakes? And all of this is because I'm a good cook of Salmon?" she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

Kivuli let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, that's the gist of it. And as for the salmon, well, let's just say Sayari has a refined taste," he explained, hoping to ease Calis's confusion.

Calis scoffed, crossing her arms. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation. And what's with the attitude of your brother? Can't he find something else to occupy his time besides being a moody, grumpy ball of fluff?" she said, gesturing towards Sayari.

Sayari let out a low growl, clearly offended by Calis's remark. "Excuse me, Miss, but I'll have you know that I have plenty of hobbies. I enjoy sleeping, licking myself, and occasionally scratching the furniture. But lately, I've just been so bored that even a nap can't cure my restlessness," he retorted, narrowing his eyes at Calis.

Calis rolled her eyes, not impressed by Sayari's hobbies. "Well, maybe if you had a more exciting hobby, like knitting or birdwatching, you wouldn't be so grumpy all the time," she said, smirking.

Sayari let out a loud yawn, clearly uninterested in Calis's suggestions. "I'll stick to my current hobbies, thank you very much. But if you're up for a game of catch, I'm willing to forgive your insults," he said, stretching his paws lazily.

Calis looked at Sayari skeptically. "Catch? With a tiger? I don't think so," she said, taking a step back.

Kivuli stepped in, trying to smooth things over. "Come on, Calis, don't be afraid. Sayari won't bite," he said, nudging her gently.

Calis hesitated for a moment before letting out a sigh. "Fine, I'll play catch with the giant man-eating feline. But only because I want to save the world," she said, reluctantly agreeing.

Sayari let out a low chuckle, amused by Calis's reluctance. "Don't worry, Miss. I promise not to scratch or bite you. Unless, of course, you throw the ball too far," he said, smirking.

Calis rolled her eyes, not amused by Sayari's threat. "Just give me the ball," she said, grabbing a nearby rock and tossing it toward Sayari.

Sayari caught the rock with ease, impressing Calis. "Not bad for a beginner," he said, tossing the rock back to her.

Calis caught the rock, feeling a sense of pride at Sayari's compliment. "I'm a quick learner. Maybe I should consider adding a giant man-eating feline catcher to my resume," she said, grinning.

Kivuli let out a low chuckle, happy to see Calis and Sayari getting along. "I knew you two would hit it off. Maybe we can do this again sometime," he said, smiling.

Calis nodded, secretly enjoying the company of the two felines. "Yeah, maybe we can. I never thought I'd say this, but you guys are kind of cute. In a terrifying, man-eating, planet-saving way," she said, laughing.

As Calis continued to play with Kivuli and Sayari, she began to notice a change in Sayari's behavior. He was no longer grumpy and bored, but rather lively and engaged in their games. Calis realized that she had helped bring joy back into Sayari's life, and in turn, saved the planet from his destructive mood swings.

Over time, Calis became a regular playmate of the two tiger guardians of the earth. She would bring them salmon and play catch with them, all while learning more about the incredible responsibility they held in maintaining the planet's gravity fields. They even took her on a tour of the solar system, showing her the planets and their corresponding feline guardians.

As Calis grew older, she never forgot about her two giant man-eating feline friends. She often looked up at the night sky, thinking of Kivuli and Sayari and the important work they were doing to keep the planet safe. And although she knew she could never fully comprehend the complexity of their job, she was grateful to have played a small part in saving the earth and gaining two awesome tiger friends along the way.

As a very famous psychologist once said: Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.